[Anthology] A Clean Fake Marriage Romance Collection

by Victorine E. Lieske

  The woman stomped and let out an exasperated grunt. “I told him ‘William’ not ‘Williams.’ How could he have messed that up?”

  A kid on a bike whizzed by, and Harrison stepped to the side. “This was all just a horrible mistake. I flew into town today to meet a woman my brother set me up with.”

  Her nostrils flared and her eyes narrowed. “And it seemed perfectly natural to marry someone on a blind date?”

  “It wasn’t a normal blind date. It’s more of an arranged marriage type of thing. A business transaction.” As the words left his mouth, he knew how ridiculous they sounded. Who did that kind of thing? But what about her? “Surely you should have recognized that I wasn’t your fiancé.”

  Her blush darkened. “William and I love each other. Just because we haven’t met, doesn’t mean we don’t know each other’s souls.”

  A laugh burst forth from Harrison, and not some polite chuckle either. A belly laugh so loud one of the neighbors moved the curtain to peek outside at him. “Let me guess, you met him on the Internet.”

  Penelope worked her jaw, her fists clenching and unclenching. No words came out.

  “You—you don’t even know—what he looks like?” he said between fits of laughter. Oh, this was rich.

  She stared at him for a moment, but when she did speak, her voice was low and fierce. “At least I know my William. You don’t even know who you’re marrying. A business arrangement? What does that even mean?” She turned around and grunted in disgust. “Get in the car. We’re going back to undo this mess.”

  “That’s the first sane thing I’ve heard you say, Penelope.”

  “It’s Penny!”

  Harrison got in and slammed his door, then the crazy lady stomped on the gas and they took off.

  “WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU can’t tear it up?” Panic rose in Penny’s chest and she tried not to hyperventilate. This could not be happening. “William’s only been delayed. He could be here any minute!” She wanted to rip off the cheap metal ring and stuff it down his throat.

  The minister tugged at his collar. “I’m sorry. Looks like you already filed the paperwork with the state. You two are legally married. But my brother’s a lawyer. Has a place up the street. Jacobson, Smith and Talbott. They do annulments for real cheap.”

  She’d scraped the bottom of her bank account for the hundred bucks to get the deluxe wedding package and the fifty to pay the limo driver. And now she had to pay for an annulment so she could do the whole thing over again when William got there? She blew her hair out of her face in frustration. Maybe her father was right. Her life was one screw-up after another.

  “How cheap?” Harrison folded his arms across his broad chest and Penny forced herself to look away. Dang. Why couldn’t he have been William?

  “Only four hundred dollars. A real bargain.”

  Penny about swallowed her tongue. “That’s what you call cheap? I don’t have that kind of money! This is some racket you guys have.” She stormed out of the back room and into the chapel. Unfortunately she ran into a bride having her photo taken. The two went down in a tangle of white satin and lace. “Oh! Sorry.”

  The bride was too shocked to say anything, her mouth hanging open like she was a cod fish. Penny jumped up and helped her to her feet. “Just be sure you’re marrying the right guy. It’s four hundred bucks to get an annulment.”

  It wasn’t until then that she noticed the chapel full of people. All eyes were on her. She pasted on a smile. “I mean, have a great wedding.”

  Penny turned and ran back into the office. Harrison was still talking to the minister. “How long will all this take?”

  He cast a nervous glance at Penny. “One to two weeks.”

  “Are you crazy? My fiancé will be here any minute!” Of course, at that moment her phone screeched “Text Message!” and heat rose to her face.

  She pulled out her cell and stared at the screen.

  Sorry, my love, I cannot make it to Las Vegas today. I do apologize. Something has come up that cannot be avoided. Please don’t hate me. Come meet me in Santa Barbara, and we will still have our honeymoon.

  Her vision blurred as tears filled her eyes. William wasn’t coming to marry her. She was being stood up at her own stupid wedding. But worse than that, he wanted her to go away with him—like some cheap fling. She hated the thought of a one-night stand. How many times had she told him she was holding out for a lifetime commitment?

  Harrison stepped close. “What happened?” he whispered, his voice consoling.

  She hadn’t realized she was crying until then. “He’s not coming.” She choked on the words, then buried her face in his shoulder.

  “Hush, now. It’s not so bad. We’ll get this all sorted out.”

  She clung to him in a desperate attempt to find something solid in her life of turmoil. She had no place to live. No job. No money. And now, no knight in shining armor to swoop in and carry her off into the sunset. All she had was a suitcase full of clothes, a beat-up old car, a man she’d mistakenly married, and her Elvis lamp.

  Her day couldn’t get any worse.

  HARRISON FELT SORRY for the girl. Sure, she was crazier than old Aunt Edna who ran around the house naked at night, but her sobs were affecting him. She loved this guy William. At least, she thought she did. And he had left her at the altar holding a cheap bouquet of plastic flowers. What a jerk.

  Hating to see her cry, he patted her back. “Come on. Let’s go. We can file the paperwork for the annulment and all this will be over soon.”

  She looked up at him with her red-rimmed eyes, mascara streaking down her cheeks. The minister handed him a box of tissues and excused himself. Penny pulled a few out and blew her nose. “I don’t know what to do. Will and I were going to make a life together.”

  “You’re better off without him.”

  The look she gave him said those hadn’t been the right words to say.

  “I mean, you can do so much better.”

  She stared past him, her face blank. Maybe she was in shock.

  He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and guided her out the back door and around to the parking lot. “You’ll be okay.”

  They stopped at her car. “You drive.” She pulled out the keys and handed them to him. “I don’t even know where we’re going.”

  Harrison didn’t really want to be seen driving a bright orange Pacer, but he nodded anyway. Now wasn’t the time to argue. He opened the passenger door for her and helped her in. She looked like a deflated balloon. Lifeless. Flat.

  He slid into the driver’s seat. “I’ll keep my promise. After we file, I’ll buy you some new furniture.”

  “A lot of good it will do me. I have no apartment, if you remember.” She stared out the window.

  “I’ll help you find one.”

  She shook her head. “The show I was in was cancelled, and then I was even fired from the coffee shop last month. Haven’t been able to find anything else around here. I was hoping to find something out in California after William and I—” Tears pooled in her eyes and she quit talking.

  Not again. He had to get her to stop crying. “Don’t think about him. You need to concentrate on something more positive.” Harrison pulled out of the parking lot, unsure of what that could be. Her life seemed rather dreadful.

  Then it hit him. He was about to get an annulment in order to go meet a woman to convince her to marry him for a hundred thousand dollars. He glanced at Penny, the woman he was already married to. She could definitely use some cash.

  And maybe she would do it for half.

  “I have an idea.”

  Her hollow eyes didn’t leave the window. “What?”

  “Let’s not annul this marriage.”

  “Ha, ha. Very funny.” Not even a hint of a smile played on her lips.

  “I’m serious. I’m here because I need a wife in order to get to my trust fund. You could use some cash. Why don’t we stay married long enough to convince my stepmother that I’ve fulfi
lled her wishes? Then I’ll give you fifty thousand dollars and we’ll part ways.”

  “Yeah, right. Like you have fifty thousand dollars.” She turned to glare at him, but when she saw his face, she blinked. “You’re serious? You’d give me fifty thousand dollars to be your wife?”

  “You’re already my wife.” He grinned at her.

  “You’re crazy. This whole thing was a mistake. We can’t stay married.” She waved the idea off like a pesky fly.

  “You’d turn down fifty thousand dollars when you have no job, no place to stay, and only the clothes on your back, and you call me crazy?”

  She pointed to the trunk. “You forgot my portable closet.”

  “Oh, that’s right. And your lamp. You’ll be fine, then. Elvis will take care of you.” He smirked, pulling into the parking lot of Jacobson, Smith and Talbott.

  Penny tossed him a grim smile before she turned serious. She sat for a few seconds in silence. “What would I have to do?”

  “Just—”

  “Wait! No, I can’t. What am I thinking? Marrying a stranger? For money? I can’t.” She bit her bottom lip. “What about my family?”

  He swallowed, unsure of what she meant. “What about them?”

  “They think I’m a total flake. If they find out what happened, I will be the butt of every joke for eternity.” She covered her face with her hands, and mumbled through her fingers. “I can’t go home this Christmas without you or they’ll know what a mess-up I really am.”

  “Then I’ll go home with you. I can pretend to be William.”

  “What?” She peeked at him. “You’d do that?”

  “Sure.” How hard could that be? He pushed down the feeling that he was getting himself into trouble. “No problem.”

  Penny ran her hands through her hair. She grimaced and looked like she was trying to make some huge life decision. Finally she exhaled. “I can’t. I’m always doing things like this, and I regret it later on.”

  Harrison tightened his grip on the steering wheel. He thought he’d convinced her. Maybe she needed a little more coaxing. “What can go wrong? It’s not forever. It’s only for a little while. No one has to know about this.”

  Indecision played across her face. “I don’t know. It’s crazy.”

  “Yes. But it could work.”

  She narrowed her eyes at him. “We’d be married just on paper, right? No sleeping in the same bed or anything?”

  “Of course. What do you think I am?” He almost had her, he could tell. “Come on. Your family will love me. I promise. And I’ll be the perfect gentleman. Cross my heart.” He made the symbol over his chest.

  She sighed again. “Okay.”

  “Okay, you’ll stay married to me?” This was the weirdest conversation he’d ever had.

  “Yes.” A smile lifted one side of her mouth. “Let’s blow this joint.”

  Chapter 3

  Harrison pulled the Pacer into the restaurant parking lot and stared at the sign. “Are you sure you want to eat here?”

  Penny punched his arm. “Come on, they have great food. Don’t be a snob.”

  He exhaled, got out of the car, and followed Penny into Lord of the Onion Rings. They were in Las Vegas, for crying out loud, and this was where she wanted to eat? She was definitely different from all the other girls he’d gone out with.

  He stepped around a cardboard cutout of some blond dude with pointy ears to get a better look at the menu. “What’s on a Gandalf Burger?”

  The freckled teen behind the counter looked bored. “Cheese, Pickles, Onions, Lettuce, and Mustard.”

  Penny tugged on his arm. “The Gollum burger is better. It’s got bacon.”

  Sure. Why not. He shrugged. “Okay. I’ll have the Gollum burger, a side of Precious Rings, and a Wraith shake.”

  The kid punched in his order and Penny grinned. “I’ll have the same. That’s my usual.”

  They waited for the food, and Harrison wished he’d changed into his casual clothes. He felt out of place wearing a suit. She didn’t seem to notice. When the food came, Penny took the tray and led them to a booth in the corner.

  He sat down and nodded to the two figures on the table. “What’s with the little boy blue salt and pepper shakers?”

  She laughed, a sound he was beginning to like. “That’s Frodo and Samwise. You’re not a big Tolkien fan, are you?”

  “It’s a little geeky, don’t you think?”

  “You caught me. Closet geek here.” Her grin took over her whole face, like she smiled with all she had. How did she do that? She had an energy coming from within her. It was appealing.

  “Text Message,” screamed her purse. She pulled her phone out, pressed her lips together in a thin line, and punched in a return message.

  “William?” he asked.

  Penny nodded, her expression guarded.

  He picked up his hamburger and took a bite, surprised that it tasted so good.

  She texted back and forth with William as they ate.

  Curiosity flickered inside him, and he tried to see what she was saying but the phone was always at the wrong angle. When he couldn’t stand it anymore, he gave in. “What are you telling him?” He took a swig of his shake.

  She smirked. “That when he didn’t show up, I married someone else.”

  He’d witnessed a lot of spit-takes in his life, but had never performed one before. Chocolate shake spewed forth from his mouth, landing on her T-shirt. “You what?”

  She grabbed a napkin and dabbed at her chest, a satisfied smile on her lips. He pulled several more from the dispenser and shoved them at her. “Sorry.”

  “He doesn’t believe me.”

  “Who would? The whole thing’s ludicrous.”

  She picked up her phone, typed one last message, and then shut the ringer off. “Well, it’s over. I told him to put on a red shirt, because he’s dead to me.”

  “What does a red shirt have to do with...” Harrison shook his head. “Never mind. I’m glad you told him off.”

  Penny stood and gathered their trash. “I still can’t believe he didn’t come. I mean, we’ve been chatting for two years. You’d think I’d know someone after all we’ve shared. He made me believe he wanted to get married.” She blinked, obviously trying not to cry.

  He bit back the words he wanted to say. Things like, ‘How can you trust a random guy from the Internet?’ and ‘Maybe he’s seven hundred pounds and they couldn’t get him through the airplane door.’ Instead, he put a sympathetic hand on her shoulder and said, “I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”

  They got back in the car and looked at each other awkwardly. Harrison cleared his throat. “I guess we’ll get a hotel tonight. We can book a flight for tomorrow, so you can meet my stepmother.”

  “Okay. Where does she live?”

  “We live in Bel Air.”

  She raised an eyebrow. “We? You still live with your mother?”

  He frowned, not wanting to tell her the reason he hadn’t moved out yet. “Stepmother. And it’s a twenty thousand square foot home. We barely see each other.”

  She slowly nodded. “I see.” She pulled out of the parking lot and gunned it. “I’ll find us a hotel.” Ten minutes later she pulled into a Budget Inn, a red sign flashing ‘vacancy.’ She maneuvered the car around a broken beer bottle and pulled up to the front doors.

  Harrison grimaced. “Surely Las Vegas has better hotels. Can’t we stay somewhere a little less...ghetto?”

  She huffed and flung her hand in the air. “Fine. It’s your money. Get on your phone and find a place.”

  “Great idea.” He had a five star hotel booked in a matter of minutes. The valet parking attendant raised his eyebrows at the Pacer, but didn’t say anything. Harrison gave him a fifty. He checked in while the porter struggled with Penny’s suitcase. After they were in their suite, he let out a breath and rolled his shoulders. “Much better.”

  He took in the plush accommodations. Large picture windows took up one wall,
the view overlooking the beautiful lights on the strip. Two couches, a coffee table, fireplace and television made the living area cozy.

  Penny grinned. “Nice.” She walked into the bedroom and plopped down on the king sized bed and moaned. “Oh, this is so comfortable.”

  He frowned. Yes, he’d known it would be comfortable. And he was looking forward to it, after the day he’d had. But all the two and three bedroom suites were booked, and he couldn’t be a jerk and make her sleep on the couch. He sighed. “Yep. I’ll take the couch.”

  His cell phone rang, and he wasn’t surprised to see Trent’s name on the display. “Hey.”

  “Abby called.” Trent’s voice was pinched with annoyance. “You never showed up.”

  “Sorry. I made other arrangements.” Harrison loosened his tie and took off his shoes.

  “What’s wrong with you? You can only burn so many bridges before—”

  “I got married.” He peeked into the other room to see if Penny was listening.

  “You what?” Trent’s voice squeaked. “Are you crazy? Who did you marry?”

  “That’s not important. I’m married now, and that fulfills the terms of the trust. I’m coming home with my wife and a copy of the marriage license.” The other end of the line was silent. Harrison sighed. “Trent?”

  “You’re serious?”

  “Of course I’m serious.” He stood and crossed the room to give more space between him and possible listening ears. “You’re the one who told me to marry as a business arrangement.”

  “Well, yeah, but not just anyone, for heaven’s sake. Do you know the problems that could arise from your rash decision?”

  Frustration welled in Harrison. “Yes, I know. But in my defense, at the time I thought you had set this entire thing up and already had a contract signed with her. But I don’t think it will be an issue. She’s agreed to help me out for fifty thousand. Getting her to sign a contract should be easy.”

  A pause carried more silence through the line. “Does she know how much you’re worth?”