West of the Quator

by Cheryl Bartlam DuBois

  “How can she be so far from the marker,” Rob thought. “I dropped it within feet of where she went over. What if she’s drifting much faster than I calculated… at a different speed than the boat? What if I haven’t gone back far enough, and what if she’s slipped out of her life vest somehow? What if?” thought Rob. “What if?”

  He knew he would have to climb higher now in order to see just a little farther. The higher he climbed the more violent the motion grew. But, he refused to give up as he pushed on step by step, hand over hand.

  The thoughts that were running rampant through Rob’s mind now were starting to interfere with his reasoning and his regard for his own safety. But at that moment his own safety was not at the forefront of his concern. The boat rolled up a huge wave teetering on the crest then dropped down the face of it as if he’d been in an elevator which had suddenly free fallen ten floors, knocking Rob’s feet from the steps – leaving him clinging to the mast with his hands twenty feet above the deck. Kicking wildly, he managed to get his leg back around the mast and his foot securely onto one of the steps. But then he made that same, near fatal, mistake of looking down that he’d done that day on the water tower. He froze – unable to move. He hung there clutching the mast – the only thing that stood between life and death.

  Things were getting out of hand and I knew that this was my cue to make an appearance, hoping that the sight of me wouldn’t just be enough to frighten Rob into falling from that mast the way he’d dropped from that coconut tree on Grandpa’s beach from the shock of the centipedes.

  “Rob.” I called softly from above “Rob, look up,” I said hoping that this new perspective would take his mind off the deck below.

  Slowly, Rob leaned his head back and looked up to find me, sitting just above him on the lower spreaders,4* 25 feet above the deck of the Island Fever in the middle of the sea – in the midst of a hurricane. Rob shook his head and squeezed his eyes tightly shut as if he were hallucinating, the way he had that night looking for Alex, who was prematurely presumed to be lost at sea.

  “It’s okay Rob, don’t be afraid. I’m here to help you. I’m your Guardian Angel. You can do this. You can save her. You know everything you need to know. You just have to believe it.”

  Rob hung there from the mast – his mouth gaping open as if he were seeing a ghost – which couldn’t be more inaccurate since I am not an earthbound entity stuck between this world and ‘The Other Side.’ I, on the other hand, or on ‘The Other Side,’ am an ascended soul who’s chosen to come back to this plane of existence to be of assistance. But of course, Rob did not understand this metaphysical stuff just yet and he was certain he had lost it. Even if he felt more alive and sane than he’d ever felt in his life.

  “Climb higher Rob. Come up here and sit next to me. From here you can see what you need to see,” I said to him in a calm encouraging tone as if I were talking a man down from a rooftop who was dead set on jumping. I’m your Spirit Guide… my name is Ian.

  Rob was speechless – unable to voice the questions that were bubbling up through his throat – unable to escape into intelligible sound. His arms had feeling in them again as he pulled himself slowly up towards me – one wrung at a time he slowly climbed the last five feet that would bring him to rest on the spreader next to me. As he climbed that last wrung and eased himself onto the spreader, he just looked at me and smiled – he had remembered. Remembered the pact that we had made before he was born this time around. I had vowed I’d be there to help him, and, as promised, I’d come to his aide when he called. I was here simply to give him guidance, not to do it for him. Just to make certain that he would pull through this okay. He could end it all now if he chose – it was an available exit point for him. But, it was not time –he had a lot more of this life to live – with Alex. There was no need for words – he knew what he was there to do as he searched 360 degrees around the boat. He scanned the water’s surface in all directions knowing he’d find her. He knew that he didn’t have much time since the calm break the Universe had granted him between squalls would only give him a short window to locate Alex and maneuver the boat close enough to retrieve her from the water. Contrary to before when Rob only thought Alex was lost at sea, this time Rob had taken control of his rampant mind – he had connected with his higher source, with me, and with the Universe.

  Carefully, Rob managed to stand next to where I sat on the spreader to see more clearly. As the Island Fever rode up on the crest of the next wave Rob’s vantage point gave him an extended view of the sea around him. As he peered over the wave tops several swells away, he caught sight of a glimmer of a light and something orange floating in the water. It was no where near the marker, but he was certain that it had to be Alex’s survival suit and light – about a hundred meters to weather. However, it was quickly apparent to him that the boat was drifting at a much quicker speed than Alex and it was rapidly broadening the gap between them. Of course, he was moving faster than her – the windage of the boat and sails created a far greater object to be blown backwards by the wind and current than Alex did on the surface of the water, especially with his boards up. Rob realized that his only hope to get to her at this point was to sail above her and drift down on her to pick her up. But of course, that meant that Rob would have to tack away from her on a starboard tack, then tack to port to get above her so he could drift down to her current position.

  Rob looked down to speak to me but he was the only one who now stood there on that mast. He smiled, knowing that although he couldn’t see me – I was there. Instead of afraid, Rob felt exhilarated. His tutelage with Grandpa on how to live in the present had prepared him for this, and Rob was now fully present. As present as he would ever be in his life.

  Carefully, he descended the mast before the winds picked up again and blinded him with spray, obscuring Alex’s location all together. Rob would have to work fast, but he was confident that he would beat the storm at its own game this time. Rob hadn’t let fear take over, he had given himself fully to the moment.

  First, Rob lowered his port dagger board to provide as much resistance against lateral drift as possible, then he made certain the main was sheeted in hard to center, knowing the baby-staysail would take care of itself. He turned the Island Fever off the wind onto a starboard tack, hoping she would pull herself out of irons and allow the sails to fill. But, with such a small amount of sail area up, it wouldn’t be easy. He was still drifting backwards so he decided to take advantage of any momentum the boat had and backed her around the way Alex had backed her off her mooring in Simpson Bay. He cocked the mainsail to weather and turned the rudders hard the other way, allowing the sea to do the work for him as it brought the boat around – the sea now slightly off his starboard bows. Once he was far enough around, Rob sheeted the main back to midships, and turned the wheel hard to port to guide the boat back onto a starboard tack. Slowly, it responded as the Island Fever’s baby-staysail filled and she eased forward up and over the next wave. Rob sailed a few thousand yards as tight off the wind as she would point, then came about onto a port tack.

  Rob now headed off once again on a close-hauled port tack trying to make his way up above Alex who he could no longer see. It was all guesswork now. Strangely however, Rob was calm – certain that he would succeed even if his logical mind tried to tell him otherwise. He sailed again as far as he instinctively dared and turned the boat up into the wind to heave to. He searched aft of the boat, but still the seas were so big that he could see nothing of Alex in the water. Once again, Rob crawled forward on deck to the foremast and climbed easily up ten feet to have a good look around. As the first wave passed and the boat rode up on the swell, Rob saw her – dead downwind.

  With the seemingly hardest part done, Rob suddenly realized that in his struggle to find her, he hadn’t realized how difficult it was going to be to pull Alex aboard in these huge seas without going in the water himself. He still had to find a way to get her up onto the boat quickly or it could pound he
r to death should she be caught underneath the hull. Then he remembered how they had used the engine box for him to climb aboard while the boat was tacking back and forth in Simpson Bay awaiting the bridge opening. It was hard to believe that had only been yesterday – it felt as if it were a lifetime ago. Gradually, Rob unwrapped the line from the winch and lowered the engine box to the floating position, hoping that the huge waves wouldn’t rip it from its hinges Hove-to, the boat drifted backwards easily on the huge swell with Rob using the rudders and the mainsail to steer to where Alex floated in the water. He was close enough now to see that Alex was awake, although moving lethargically as she painfully raised her hand to insure that he had seen her. Then he saw her injury – blood covered one side of her head.

  When she saw the Island Fever backing down on her she thought she was hallucinating. Surely in this mess, having been unable to get to the marker, it would have been like looking for a needle in a haystack for Rob to actually spot her, let alone maneuver to pick her up. She felt as though she’d been hit by the blast of a nuclear bomb, from the impact of the wall of water that had collapsed on her head before it raked her over the lifelines. But she was alive, and, about to be rescued. When she had first come up for air, she had found it nearly impossible to breathe and had almost drowned in the foot of flying spume and spray above the water’s surface. She had turned her back to the wind and sea as the waves came up behind her like a freight train with the impact of a 250 lb. linebacker. From that perspective, the waves were unbeliev-able, Alex thought – like a four story building as they approached and swept her up on the crest – then broke over her, pushing her under in the violent turbulence as they passed. She had thankfully discovered that she was able to take a few breaths of air trapped in the pocket in front of her life-vest – it had actually saved her from drowning in the spray. At first she’d started to panic, realizing she wouldn’t survive long in those conditions when suddenly the wind subsided, quelling the froth and blowing spray. She had at some point relaxed – resigned to her fate. Rob, she thought, would never find her in this and the next closest landfall in the direction she was being blown would he Newfoundland via the Gulf Stream, if she wasn’t eaten by something first due to her loss of blood. Actually, there had been so much blood – she wasn’t certain she wouldn’t just bleed to death. But, she hadn’t entirely given up hope. Somehow, Rob’s determina-tion had gotten through to her. In fact, Alex’s guide, Peter, and I had been busy helping Rob find her and keeping the weather at bay until he could get her back on board.

  “ALEX! I’m coming, I’ll throw you a ring and pull you in. Just try to hang on,” shouted Rob excited to have finally made contact with her again, as he tied the end of a line to an orange life ring.

  Certain that he had positioned the boat to drift over her, Rob secured his own lifeline in the cockpit, and taking the additional line with him, climbed down into the engine box which jumped and jerked violently with the swell, threatening to toss him out. By this time, Alex was so weak from the time spent in the water and her loss of blood, that swimming was impossible, especially in her water soaked survival gear, let alone being able to pull herself into the boat. She felt truly helpless and was depending totally on Rob at this point to help her out of this grave situation.

  Rob stood in the engine box and threw the life ring towards her, just missing on the first try. He reeled it in as he struggled to hold himself in the box and threw again. This time it landed right at Alex’s fingertips. Weakly, she hooked her arm through the ring as Rob started to pull her towards the boat – being careful to time the waves so that she wasn’t too close to the boat as it reached the top of a swell, knowing that the wave might actually throw the boat on top of her as it dropped over the back side. Rob pulled with everything he had, lifting Alex out of the water by her lifeline and harness – somehow managing to pull her into the engine box and into his arms.

  “Oh my God, I thought I’d lost you,” Rob gasped with excruciating relief to finally hold her next to him as he wept tears of gratitude. Alex clung to him desperately, unable to speak. Instead, she too wept sobs of relief and exhaustion into his shoulder as the box bounced and jostled them. “Let me get you out of here,” said Rob as he looked at the deep gash on her temple that oozed fresh blood which trickled down her face, looking much worse than it was. Quickly, Rob secured her life line to the box to keep her from being thrown out and climbed back up the bridge deck into the cockpit, then winched the box back up closer to the boat where he could reach her better. He knew it would take Herculean strength to pull Alex over the back of the bridge deck without hurting her, so he dropped the mainsail, which even though it rested in the lazy jacks,9* was whipped and shredded by the wind since Rob did not have time to secure it. With the more important task at hand, he clipped the main halyard to Alex’s lifeline harness, untying the line that held her in the engine box. Then he proceeded to winch her up to bridgedeck level where he was able to swing her safely into the cockpit and lower her onto the settee. Rob unclipped the halyard from Alex’s harness and re-clipped it onto the frenzied mainsail, grinding it up again with great difficulty since the wind was starting to blow as a squall approached them from the south. He had found her just in time. The wind blew, and it blew hard, as if whatever source that had held it back while he was looking for her had suddenly let it go.

  Rob quickly unstrapped Alex from the life vest and harness and tore the soaked survival-gear and clothing off of her. In the meantime, the wind was gaining force, but Rob’s attention was on Alex, not the storm. He carried her limp, shivering body inside the deckhouse and laid her on the carpet, wrapping her in blankets and binding the bleeding wound on her head with a T-shirt which he tore into pieces. Alex was conscious but she found that she hadn’t an ounce of strength to advise Rob of what to do next, let alone assist him with sailing the boat.

  “I thought I’d never find you,” said Rob smiling.

  “You can’t get rid of me that easy,” Alex whispered attempting to pull herself up – realizing that her head felt as if it had been caught in the spin cycle as she reached for the bandage around her temple. “How on earth did you find me in this?” asked Alex impressed and grateful all at the same time. “If it had been you that had gone over, I’m not certain that I could have done it.”

  “Guess we were lucky it was you then, not that I would credit falling overboard in this to anyone as lucky. Actually, I can’t take all the credit,” admitted Rob not certain she would believe him if he told her about me.

  Alex looked at him strangely. “I know Christian didn’t sneak aboard this time,” whispered Alex uncertainly, wondering if he’d successfully perpetrated some amazing disappearing and reappearing act.

  “It seems I do have a Guardian Angel after all,” said Rob smiling.

  Alex looked at him strangely, pleasantly surprised to find that he was indeed more spiritually attuned than she realized. He had tapped into his higher source.

  “Well,” said Rob as he looked out the companionway as a light ray was breaking through the clouds, “Let’s just say I just relied on a little celestial navigation.”

  Alex thought to herself that Rob had learned well from his many teachers. He had saved her life and saved the boat, and he’d proven himself a true sailor in not only her eyes but his own. Rob was her hero. He was her white knight that only existed in fairy tales. But here he was, real flesh and blood, leaning over her to kiss her. In that time of crisis, Rob had surrendered to something bigger than himself – than his mind – his ego. Rob had found inner peace – strength – he had tapped into this higher source. Rob had finally learned to ask for guidance and divine intervention and his prayers had been heard and answered. He had learned the most crucial thing of all –to have faith that whatever he asked for and truly needed would be provided, or that he already had it within. Rob hadn’t realized how much his father’s condemnation over the years had taken its toll on his self-confidence and self-esteem. Because of his father’
s criticism Rob had always covered up for his self-doubt by being a man –never capable of admitting he felt unsure – never asking for help. He had let his ego run the show – that false self that’s trained to always take control in uncertain times. But, this time Rob had been able to discard it – shed it. And because of that he had found himself to be a part of that ‘Great One Source.’ Even this horrible storm had served its purpose. Rob had finally found his real self-worth right out there in that angry ocean, and he was certain that he would never lose it again.

  1*MAN OVERBOARD RIG – A small buoyant, weighted pole with an orange flag and a water activated strobe light on top – about 8 feet high. Attached to it is a horseshoe life-ring, a whistle, and a small drogue (a cone to slow its drift).

  2**DEAD-DOWNWIND – With the wind directly behind the boat.

  3*BOSUN’S CHAIR – A swing-like chair which is pulled up the mast by a halyard. It was called this since it was designed for the Bosun or Boatswain – a subordinate officer on a ship in charge of the boat’s equipment.

  4*SPREADERS –The horizontal cross bars that are attached to the mast at one end and to the shrouds5** at the other. The first spreader is usually about midway up the mast providing more triangulation for the shrouds from the top of the mast to the chain pIates6***on deck. Often there is a second set of spreaders further up the mast.

  5**SHROUDS – Wires, known as rigging that run from the top of the mast down to the midship7**** of a sailboat – as opposed to stays, which run from the top of the mast to the front of the boat or bow (forestay), or the back of the boat (backstay(s) – two on a catamaran).