Heartwood

by Catherine Lane

  Maggie pulled first Josie and then Nikka up and off the blanket. “Let’s give her some privacy.”

  Beth ran a finger down the first page. Her world narrowed to just her and the composition book.

  B doesn’t know I took one of her books last night. She won’t miss it, and it’s comforting to have a secret that I don’t share with her. I know that having her here and making her fall in love with me is necessary to my plan, my future, and, more importantly, my child’s future. But it feels like she is everywhere all at once. I created that writing room so I would have some time to myself every day. It’s hard to take, the way she looks at me, her brown eyes so full of hope and adoration. This whole scheme is almost too easy. Like taking candy from a baby.

  Alone on the blanket, Beth gasped, and dread spread from her heart to the tips of her fingers. This was everything that she had feared. No, it was worse. She was all but admitting that their whole relationship was a means to her end. Dawn’s voice, low and rich, had reached across the years to hiss like taking candy from a baby right into her ear and into her soul.

  She snapped the book shut, and her shoulders tensed as she tried to build up her defenses against those words and what they could do. Take a breath. Take a breath. Beth looked out to the meadow as fresh air filled her lungs. The green grass, the blue sky, Josie studying something thin and purple in her hand. She cocked her head. Josie wouldn’t steer her wrong. She wasn’t sure of much these days, but she was sure of that.

  She flipped through the pages, and the book opened almost of its own accord. A crease in the spine maybe or Dawn’s hand from the grave. Who knew?

  I’m in trouble. Deep, deep trouble. B read me her story today. I was expecting something immature and childish that I could easily dismiss. It was on some level, but I could see the glimpses of the writer she will become. Not that I’m any real judge, but I’ve read enough bad material from writers to know when I am in the hands of someone good. God help me. I felt like I was in that tent. The heat from an Indian summer surrounded me. All I had to do was reach out, and I could run my fingers down the rich brocade of the curtains. I saw tarot cards in front of me as sure as I see my hand right now. But they weren’t Karen’s cards. They were mine—and they sure as hell weren’t blank. They were full of dark images of Jimmy and fighting him for a child he doesn’t want. Images of me old and ugly in a world that celebrates youth. Certainly, nothing good there. And then as Karen’s future began to fill with those wild adventures, mine began to change too. To a different future, a better one. Every time that Madame Valentini flipped a card over for Karen, she flipped one over for me too. And I couldn’t believe it! B was in every single one of them!

  I just looked back at the beginning, what I wrote there. B looking at me with hope and adoration. I thought it weak then. But now I know there is power in such a look. She’s the only person I have ever met who looks at me with rose-colored glasses and at the same time loves me for exactly who I am, warts and all. The first person where I can be myself and not have to act all the time. She makes me feel really and truly safe. For the first time in my life.

  When the story was over, I got up and went to her and kissed her. She’s wanted it from the moment we saw each other in that odious man’s real estate office and my plan took root. I knew that I would have to kiss her eventually, but what I didn’t know is that I would want to. It’s inexplicable, but when our lips touched and she jumped into us with everything she was, my tarot cards were suddenly in indelible ink. I panicked and withdrew from her lips. This is not the future I had planned. But now, it is the only one I can imagine. I am terrified. God help us both.

  The words blurred as tears flooded into Beth’s eyes. If only Dawn had told her half of this and not kept her feelings a secret. If she had, Beth would have stood up to Jimmy that fateful day and their future would have been so very different. She ran her fingers over the diary’s cover. At least she knew the truth now. Dawn loved her as much as she had loved Dawn.

  Nikka followed Maggie down a tiny dirt path that ran from the edge of the meadow into the pine forest. “This is gorgeous.”

  “Isn’t it? I used to pretend it was Ameliah’s forest in Don’t Waste Your Wishes. I even had my wishing tree.”

  “Oh my God. So did I.” Nikka laughed. “In a park right by our house. Mine was nothing like these. I think only dogs and I ever paid it any attention.”

  “It’s not the tree, though, right? It’s the belief that wishes can come true.” Maggie stopped at a sugar pine that soared upwards.

  Nikka reached up to touch a long pine cone that hung from its branches and then dropped her hand to the trunk. “I think I might have believed that once. Somewhere, along the line, though, it turned into a belief in hard work.”

  “I still believe. This is my tree.” Maggie patted its rough bark and slid her finger down close to where Nikka’s was.

  They both glanced at their hands and then at each other. They were almost exactly the same height. Strange, Nikka had never noticed that before. All either of them had to do was lean in and twist her head ever so slightly, and their lips would meet. That warm, fuzzy feeling that she had been nursing all day turned positively scalding. Would the kiss be soft or hard…or, God help her, maybe both?

  “We should wish for something now.” Nikka’s voice was low and cracked with emotion. “If you’ll share your tree with me…”

  “Yes.” The word was little more than a breath.

  They both leaned in to opposite sides of the tree.

  Nikka whispered the only desire that leapt to mind, “A kiss.”

  “A kiss.”

  Maggie closed her eyes as her lips brushed the bark on her side of the tree. Visions of grabbing Nikka and swinging her around until their bodies pressed together materialized as soon as she said the words. She would take her in her arms and kiss her long and deep until they both gasped for breath. She tingled all over with excitement seeped in doubt. No. Nikka would have to make the first move.

  They came around the tree at almost the same moment, their hands still inches apart on the trunk. All Nikka had to do was slide her pinkie finger down an inch, and they would be touching.

  “Son of a bitch. Do I have the worst timing or what?” Josie materialized two trees down, grinning from ear to ear. The teasing was unmistakable in her voice. “Beth wants to show you something. Or should I tell her that I threw down some breadcrumbs, and you’ll make your own way out?”

  “No, we’re coming,” Maggie said.

  “Did she read the diary? Did it go well?” Nikka asked.

  Maggie gave the tree one last pat. The wishes didn’t have to come true immediately. They never did in the books. They were always granted at a time when you least expected it.

  Beth waved them over as soon as they cleared the trees.

  “Look!” She held out the composition book open to a page filled to the edges with ink.

  From far away, Maggie thought it illegible scribbling, but as she got closer, she realized the same three words were written over and over until there wasn’t a blank space on the page.

  I love her, I love her, I love her.

  Beth had her answer. And then some.

  “Oh, Beth. I’m so happy for you.” Nikka bounced on the tips of her toes.

  Maggie blinked hard and looked at her again. There was something softer about Nikka, around her eyes and her mouth. Maggie couldn’t put a finger on it. Something had changed, but what? Something good, she hoped.

  Josie poked her playfully and gave her a glance as if she knew exactly what she was thinking.

  “What about you? You got someone special?” Maggie had wanted to ask for ages. It had just never come up. Her gaydar, which was usually so accurate, just couldn’t get a read on Josie.

  “Oh God, no. I’m way too young to settle down. Besides, I’ll tell you, slinging the ink is practically foreplay. Men, women, and everything in between throw themselves at me. All you got to do is pound some skin i
f you want to pound some skin, if you know what I mean.”

  “Not in the least.” Nikka laughed.

  “I think it’s tattoo slang, and she’s telling us that no grass grows under her feet in the relationship department,” Maggie said.

  “Pretty much. I’m fluid in my life: my partners and my sexuality.”

  “Now you sound exactly like your grandmother.” Beth hugged the diary to her chest.

  “Thank you. I can only hope my someone special is as great as you someday.”

  They continued to chat until everything was packed away into the basket.

  Maggie went over to help Beth up. “You good?”

  “Yes. Actually, better than I’ve been in a long time.” Beth’s gaze flicked down to the book still in her hands. “You?”

  Maggie’s gaze drifted off to Nikka, who stood at the edge of the meadow, laughing at something Josie had just said. Just looking at her made her insides melt. She had it bad. “I hope so. We’ll see.”

  Nikka punched the down arrow key on her laptop repeatedly until she had scanned all the motions she would file first thing tomorrow. One stated that Lea had abused her conservatorship in every way possible. Another claimed that the contract for “The Tarot Card” had been signed under duress. A third made a case to throw out all the contracts Lea had signed just days before. Yes, a very productive afternoon and a good omen for tomorrow.

  She reached for her briefcase to find her to-do list so she could slash these jobs off the paper. Her hand froze in mid-air. She hadn’t started one! Probably the most important moment of her career and she hadn’t even started a checklist? What the…?

  “Hey, I thought you might need a pick-me-up.” Maggie placed a mug of something hot and steamy on the coffee table by her computer. “It’s tea. Not caffeinated, so you can sleep, but it’s supposed to make you alert. I don’t know how that works, but it’s on the box, so it must be true.”

  Maggie looked down at her on the couch and smiled. Not her ready grin, but something more timid and cautious.

  They hadn’t said much to each other since they all got back to the cabin. Beth, fooling no one, had announced that she was going to take a nap and had disappeared with the book and her memories. Josie had escaped to the front porch to make a series of phone calls. Maggie had taken off for a run, and Nikka had sat down in the living room at her computer to put the finishing touches on her work.

  Truth be told, the touch-ups had taken her so long because she kept replaying that moment out by the tree. Not the way Maggie’s energy had reached for her, although that sure was something. She’d never felt anything like that before, and she was beginning to miss the current when it wasn’t there. No, the moment she had kept replaying was leaning in to the tree and whispering for a kiss. Putting her desire into words gave it reality, somehow.

  “You ready for tomorrow?” Maggie asked.

  “I am. At least I think I am.”

  “You’ll be great.” She gave a long look and then moved to the stairs. “Six thirty sharp. Right?”

  “No, we said—”

  “I know. I’m just messing with you. Good night.”

  “Night,” Nikka said, already regretting Maggie’s absence. It would be foolish to go after her. Wouldn’t it?

  A shrill ring was her answer—an old-fashioned telephone ring reverberated around the room. It took her a moment to realize that it was her father’s ringtone coming from her briefcase.

  “Papa? Is everything all right?” She couldn’t remember the last time he had called her.

  “You tell me. Sasha heard about client of yours. Beth Walker. Tell me you aren’t mixed up in this nonsense?”

  Nikka forced herself to take a deep breath. This was the one call she was dreading most of all. Talking to her father was another thing she had intended to push off until tomorrow, when she knew how to spin it, but her father had always had an impeccable sense of timing—upstairs, Maggie’s bedroom door clicked shut.

  “Well, Papa…” Better rip the Band-Aid off fast. “I am.”

  He groaned deeply. “I would expect this of Sasha, but not you, Jenikka.”

  Nikka cringed. Using her full name was never a good sign.

  “Look, Papa…” She needed time to think. “I… I…” Inspiration struck. “You know how you always say that a problem is often an opportunity dressed up in an old tolstovka shirt full of holes?”

  “Da.”

  “And that you need to take the shirt off to really see what is underneath?”

  “Da.”

  “Well, that’s what I’m doing, Papa. I’ve got something that looks like a problem to everyone else, but I think, I hope, that when we undress it, we’ll see a huge opportunity.”

  Silence stretched out between them. Her father was almost never at a loss for words. The last time he had been so quiet was when she had told him that she liked women. Then, it had taken him a full ten minutes to reply, and it hadn’t been favorable. Her heart began to pound. She needed her father behind her if she was going to make a real go of this in the morning.

  “How big?” He finally broke the silence.

  “Pretty big.” Superstition took hold of her, and she whispered, “It could make my career. Or kill it. It’s unclear. But, Papa, it’s the right thing to do whatever happens.”

  More silence. This time she could almost hear the wheels in her father’s head turning.

  “Then go for it.”

  Nikka let out the breath she had been holding.

  “You know, I always say if opportunity doesn’t knock, build door and do knocking yourself.”

  That was a new one. Sound advice and, more important, her father was in her corner. A warm feeling washed over her.

  “Thanks, Papa.”

  At five thirty sharp the next morning, all four of Nikka’s Subaru doors popped open right on cue. Nikka glanced at her watch and smiled at Maggie over the car’s roof. “Good omen. We’re perfectly on time.”

  Maggie choked back a cough. It wasn’t fate at all. She had set the alarm by the side of her bed, arranged for her brother to call her five minutes after that, and only Josie’s pre-arranged knocking had finally gotten her out of bed. Still half asleep, she studied Nikka through eyes that were almost slits.

  She had called it. The silk blouse and straight skirt were back. She looked the part, but her voice was brittle and that smile hadn’t spread to her eyes. Maggie could tell that she was nervous.

  Who wasn’t? Butterflies, and not the good kind, circled in her own stomach. So much rode on this morning. Beth’s future, Nikka’s, and her own probably too.

  “Would there be time to stop for coffee?” Beth asked from the backseat. She looked tired, but calm as she pulled the seat belt over her shoulder.

  “When we get gas, we can also get coffee.” Maggie needed some herself.

  Only Josie seemed unfazed by the early morning wake-up call, but even her shoulders tightened when the Subaru slid into the empty parking lot of the courthouse.

  Nikka parked right up front, killed the engine, and swiveled around to pat Beth on the arm. “It won’t all happen right now, but rest assured Beth Walker Revealed will never see the light of day. I won’t stop until it’s dead and buried.”

  “Gruesome,” Josie said.

  “Just do your best.” Beth squeezed Nikka’s hand. “Thank you, dear.”

  Nikka swung back and already had the door half opened when her gaze found Maggie’s. “Come with me?”

  The butterflies in her stomach landed. “Yes, I would love to.”

  After jumping out of the car, they met on the sidewalk.

  When they were just about to enter the courthouse, its doors swung wide open with a bang. Standing there on the threshold, like the Wicked Witch of the Springs, was Lea Truman.

  Tall, sexy, and very, very angry.

  “What do you think you’re doing?”

  “What Beth wants, Lea,” Nikka said calmly, but the tremor in her voice betrayed her. “I
could ask you the same thing.”

  “Oh please. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out where you’d be first thing this morning.” Maggie felt the temperature drop by at least ten degrees. “I just didn’t know you’d bring the whole Scooby gang. Which one is she? Fred or Velma?”

  Heat flooding her face, Maggie took a step toward Lea.

  Nikka quickly threw up a hand to halt her progress. “No. She’s not why we are here,” Nikka said, and with the truth of those words, Maggie backed down.

  “Good to see you haven’t lost your good head on those pretty shoulders. Listen carefully because I’m only going to offer this once. Come back to the firm. Your job’s still there. Bring Beth. Tell her whatever you need to get her to come back. Surely you can see it’s in both our best interests to bury this as deep as we can. The press will buy it. You can take the lead on this case. I’ll make you rich, and eventually, I’ll name you partner.”

  Maggie almost choked right there on the spot. What the fuck was Lea thinking? They hadn’t gone to hell and back in the last forty-eight hours to hand Beth back to Lea. Had they? Nikka wasn’t saying anything, and her eyes had gone all steely. Was she actually considering it?

  “Think of your career, Nikka. You might have Beth Walker as a client right now, but as soon as this is over, she’ll want an established firm, bigger than you. The door will be hitting you on the backside before she can say ‘I terminate your services.’ Then where will you be? Unemployed and unhireable.’”