Toward a Secret Sky

by Heather Maclean

  I peeked through the window. Graham had stopped at our mailbox. He removed his jacket, laid it carefully over the rounded metal box, leaned back, and then kicked it with the flat bottom of his foot. When he retrieved his coat, there was a huge dent in the side of the mailbox, and the door was hanging open, unhinged. What the heck is he doing?

  I got downstairs just as my grandmother was answering the door. When I saw him, embarrassment pushed every other thought out of my mind. I was mortified at the position I’d been in that last time I’d seen him, but felt like I owed him . . . my life, maybe.

  “Hi,” I said, giving him a short wave from my hip.

  He held out a bouquet of flowers. “I brought you these,” he said. “I thought you might need some cheering up, considering. We sent an arrangement to Jo’s family, naturally—but I think everyone else who knew and loved her could use some of the same, especially you.” His polite awkwardness was charming.

  “Thanks,” I said, taking them. They were pretty, but I didn’t want to see pretty. I wasn’t feeling pretty. I let my hand fall to my side, clutching the flowers near my knee. I forced my mouth to smile, and half succeeded.

  “I was also wondering if you might do me the honor of accompanying me to the yearend ceilidh next week. I’m sure you’re just getting settled back in from your . . . ah, trip, but I wanted to be the first in line before someone else snatched you up.”

  “You’re inviting me to a dance?” Is he freaking serious? I’d just learned that my best friend had died, and he was in my house, on the very same day, asking me out on a date?

  He nodded, oblivious to his terrible timing. “Yes, the ceilidh. I’d like to be your escort.”

  I may have felt obliged to him, but not enough to agree to something like that on a day like this. “Um, I don’t think I’m going actually. I . . .” I looked at my grandmother, searching for an excuse. “I’m going with Gran to . . .”

  Thankfully, my grandmother picked up on my silent distress call. “She’s got to come with me to see her aunt Margaret in Raigmore. It’s her birthday, and we’ve planned a little family get-together. Maren was terribly disappointed when I told her it was the same night as the ceilidh, but it’s family. You understand.”

  Graham looked crushed, and I did feel a little sorry for him. I wondered if he’d already asked any other girls at school and been turned down. Even though he was perfectly well-mannered and charming, it must be hard to be the “ugly duckling” to Anders’ strapping swan.

  “Oh, of course,” he said, shuffling his feet. “I hope you have good weather for the drive. Give your aunt my best.”

  My phone rang upstairs. “Thanks for the flowers,” I said before I turned to fetch it. My grandmother opened the door a bit wider, a cue it was time for him to go. I heard them talking about our mailbox as I ran up the stairs. Hopefully, he was apologizing for kicking it in.

  It was my grandfather on the phone, checking on me for the tenth time. While I assured him I was fine, I watched Graham walk away from our house. As soon as he was out of sight, and I set down my phone, Gavin landed with a thump right in front of me on the roof. I jumped at the sudden noise, then threw the window open.

  When he climbed inside, I reached my arms around his neck and buried my head against his shoulder. I was overcome at seeing him. It felt like I didn’t have anyone left in the world. Hunter was gone forever. Jo was dead. All I had was Gavin, and I’d convinced myself he wasn’t coming back either. The relief at being able to hold on to him, to feel his strong arms around me, was overwhelming. A floodgate cracked open somewhere inside me, and the tears gushed from my eyes, soaking his shirt.

  “Hey, what’s wrong?” he said as he stroked my hair.

  “Everything!” I sobbed. “Jo’s dead!” As he held me, I told him what had happened.

  “I’m so sorry, Maren,” he said. “I know you loved her like a sister.”

  “I loved her more than a sister,” I moaned. “People fight with their sisters and steal their clothes and stuff. She was never anything but wonderful to me. And I failed her!”

  “It’s not your fault,” he said. “You got her the antidote in time. You’re a hero in my book, and hers as well. But it was just her time. You can’t save everyone.”

  “I can’t save anyone,” I cried, letting the flood of hopelessness carry me away. I crumpled onto the floor. Gavin bent down with me.

  “Shhh, it’s a’right,” he whispered. “I’ve got you. Everything’s going to be a’right.”

  “No, it’s not,” I argued, raking my hands through the hair at my temples. “Nothing with me is ever all right! I’m so tired of losing things and people. My house, my parents. I lose everything.”

  “You’ve not lost me.” He wrapped his arms around me and kissed the top of my head. “I’m here, Maren. I’ll always be here.”

  His strong embrace and soothing words parted the clouds around my heart, if only for a moment.

  CHAPTER 33

  The next day, the sun was shining, and I was pissed. How could it be so pretty outside on the day of my best friend’s funeral? Didn’t nature have more respect? Couldn’t there be dark, rolling clouds to match my mood?

  As I drove to the church, I changed my mind. The beautiful day was exactly like Jo. It was as if she had ordered it from heaven to remind us all of how happy she was. You should be happy too, I could hear her say. I looked over at Gavin in the passenger’s seat and tried not to feel guilty that he did make me happy. Even on a day like today.

  My grandmother had “taken a migraine” and, as much as she wanted to go pay her respects to the Dougalls, she couldn’t get out of bed. I knew it was probably because she hadn’t slept much the night before. She sat up in the armchair in my room all night, keeping watch over me. We didn’t talk about anything, but her presence helped me finally fall asleep. Between my grandfather waiting up for me after Anders’ party and calling to check on me from his golf trip, and my grandmother keeping a bedside vigil, I felt they were really starting to love me. And I was starting to love them.

  The funeral was full of love, and anything but happy. Even though the Dougalls begged us from the pulpit to remember all the good times and celebrate her life, the pews were full of tears, smudged mascara, and a suffocating sadness. Stuart was one of the pallbearers. He looked lost, like a lumbering shadow. I gave him a hug, but he didn’t really return it. Jo’s mom was heavily medicated, going through the motions behind a plastered-on smile and glassy eyes.

  All of Kingussie was there, even the teachers, although, thankfully, I didn’t see Graham. I couldn’t deal with his awkwardness or his jealousy if he saw me with Gavin. Elsie and her stupid clique sat in the third row, crying like they’d lost one of their dearest friends. Hypocrites.

  After the service, everyone milled around. As the church started to empty, I joined Jo’s mom to see if I could help in any way. I hadn’t walked three steps away from Gavin when Elsie and her friends pounced on him. They surrounded him, practically licking their paws with the excitement of meeting the handsome new guy. I heard them giggling as I helped Mrs. Dougall gather the floral arrangements off the altar. How irreverent can you be, flirting at a funeral, especially with a guy who came with someone else?

  I must not have been the only one who thought so, because out of the corner of my eye I saw a blond guy grab Elsie by the arm and drag her away from Gavin. Anders! How dare he show up, after what he’d done to me! He knew Jo was my best friend. He knew I’d be here. His pretend romance with Elsie wasn’t fooling anyone.

  He steered her out the side door into the churchyard. I excused myself, and ran over to Gavin. “Can we go outside for minute?” I asked, smiling not-so-politely at the other girls. “I need some air.”

  “Of course,” he said. “Pardon me, ladies. It was nice to meet you.” He nodded, and followed me to the same door Anders had just disappeared through.

  We burst out of the church and into an old cemetery. I was terrified, fearing I was a
bout to see Jo’s open grave. I took a quick inventory and noted that the newest headstone was from the seventeenth century. I relaxed, realizing it must be a historical burial ground.

  Elsie was leaning against a tall, crumbly tombstone. Anders hovered over her, balancing his body on the rock against his fist. They looked like they were arguing, but enjoying it, like they were about to make up by making out.

  My stomach churned. I was watching him get ready to devour another girl.

  “Hey, Anders!” I yelled. “What do you think you’re doing here?” I knew I was overconfident because Gavin was by my side, but I didn’t care. I tried to walk toward Anders, but Gavin gently held me back.

  Anders glanced up, a cool look on his chiseled face. “I’m a little busy, Maren,” he cooed. “You’ll have to wait your turn.”

  I clenched my fists and turned to Gavin. “Get him!” I hissed. “Kill him. Rip his head off! He’s evil!”

  Gavin put his hands on my shoulders to steady me. “It’s all right,” he whispered. “He’s just a rude pig. Ignore him.”

  “What?” I screamed. “He’s more than rude! He’s a demon!” I looked over at Elsie, who seemed to think the description was a turn-on. She smiled triumphantly, and slid her arms around his neck.

  “He’s not,” Gavin said softly. He placed a calming hand on my shoulder.

  I shook him off. “What do you mean? It’s him! It’s Anders! It’s the guy who tried to . . . who spiked my drink.”

  “Really, Maren,” Anders said. “Lying does not become you. I hardly need to drug girls to get their attention.” He motioned toward Elsie. “Are you trying to protect your reputation in front of your friend? You don’t want him to know how you were drunk and threw yourself at me at my birthday party? It was really pathetic,” he said to Gavin. The muscles in Gavin’s neck tightened. Finally!

  Gavin lunged toward Anders, but he didn’t have to take more than half a step before Anders flinched. Satisfied that he’d made his point, Gavin grabbed my hand. “Let’s go,” he said. “He won’t bother you again.”

  I felt myself being led away by Gavin. “No, no,” I said. “You have to kill him! After what he tried to do . . .”

  “Believe me,” Gavin said through clenched teeth, “I would love to. But you know I’m not allowed to kill humans. All that punk would need is just one punch. Just one punch.” He exhaled to compose himself.

  “No,” I said, hoping to get him riled back up. “He’s a demon, Gavin. A demon.”

  “No, he isn’t,” Gavin said, snarling over his shoulder at Anders. “Demons aren’t allowed in churches, remember?”

  I froze. He was right. Anders was just in the church. My mind started replaying everything, tumbling over each event like rocks in a stream. The party at Campbell Hall. Jo being called away for her grandmother’s “stroke.” The hedge maze . . .

  I spun around to Anders.

  “GRAHAM!” I screamed. “Where’s Graham?”

  Anders rolled his eyes, thinking about my question slowly, carefully, as if to torture me. “I don’t know,” he drawled. “He said something about fixing a mailbox . . .”

  I drove faster than the speedometer on the tiny car would even register. Every time we hit a bump in the road, I was afraid the axels might split in two, but I couldn’t slow down. I had to get home.

  We screeched up my grandparents’ drive, and as I threw on the brakes, a small shower of pebbles hit the windshield. Before they hit the ground, we were running past the dented mailbox, racing to the front door.

  It was wide open.

  We ran around the first floor, and then the second. No one was home. No Graham. No Gran. And then we saw it.

  A letter stuck to the kitchen cabinet with a small dinner knife, written in blood-red ink. It was from Graham. “My Dearest Maren,” it began. Sickening. I forced myself to keep reading:

  I am so sorry to have to get your attention in this manner, but when I visited you yesterday, you were most unkind. I had hoped to convince you to come with me then, but your fancy feathered friend showed up, ruining my plans. I had no choice but to return today and take your sweet grandmother in your place. I am, of course, willing to make a trade—you for her—although my offer does have a few requirements. First, it expires at midnight tonight. At that time, I shall kill her, as I did your little friend Jo.

  I gasped. Jo! Graham killed her! I swayed a bit, feeling like I might pass out. Gavin wrapped his arms around me from behind to steady me.

  “Go on,” he whispered in my ear. “It’s a’right. I’ve got you.”

  I continued:

  Second, you must present yourself to me personally at Campbell Hall. You must come alone, as no one else will be permitted to enter with you. And as you know, your flying fool is not allowed on our land. I consider this a very fair offer, Maren, and I encourage you to accept it. If you do not, know that I will not stop in my pursuit of you. I will kill your grandmother, and then, one by one, kill everyone close to you until you surrender. I will annihilate the entire village if I have to, but make no mistake, Maren; I will not stop until I possess you.

  Yours Ever, Graham

  I put the letter down. Gavin and I spoke at exactly the same time. “We have to go . . .” Although we each ended our sentences differently.

  “. . . to my village,” Gavin said.

  “. . . to Campbell Hall,” I said.

  CHAPTER 34

  This isn’t right! There has to be another way!” Even though we were approaching the end of the long drive that led to Campbell Hall, Gavin was still trying to convince me not to go. It was dark outside, but huge white lights hidden in the lush landscaping licked the sides of the walls, illuminating the great house like a ghostly museum. The mansion was ominous and frightening. And deadly quiet. There were no other cars. No signs of servants. No sign of anyone.

  “I’ve already told you,” I said. “I have to go. There is no other way. Graham killed Jo, he has my grandmother, and he’s going to kill her if I don’t go in! What do you want me to do? I can’t lose one more person. I can’t!”

  I parked the car and got out. We were going to walk as far as Gavin was allowed. That spot turned out to be really far from the front door. Too far, I thought. We stopped underneath a giant tree, a twisting Scots pine that looked as if it might have something to say.

  “I understand that,” Gavin replied. “But I can’t lose you! And if you go in there, you’re done. It’s over. You’ll never come back out.”

  “Thanks for the vote of confidence,” I said. “How do you know I can’t convince him to let us both go? He had his chance in the hedge maze when I was drugged. He let me go then. Maybe I can reason with him.”

  “And maybe you can’t.”

  “Then I’ll convince him to leave with me. Tell him we’ll run away together,” I suggested. “I’ll lead him out so that you can have at him.”

  “He wants you, Maren. He doesn’t want to leave with you. He wants to have you. As soon as you go in there, he has everything he wants.”

  “I still don’t understand why he would go to all this trouble just for me. Can’t he have any girl on the planet? Why me?” I asked.

  “Because you’re you,” Gavin answered softly. “There’s no one else like you on the planet. You’re beautiful, charming, clever . . . I’d do anything for you.” He reached out and stroked my hair. The compliments made me feel wonderful, but I was too embarrassed to acknowledge them.

  “Yes, but you know me,” I said.

  “I don’t just know you,” he interrupted. “I love you.”

  That I couldn’t ignore. “I love you too.” I cradled his free hand in both of mine. “But Graham doesn’t know me at all. He’s just obsessed with a girl he has never really met.”

  Gavin withdrew his hand. “You’re right. He’s obsessed. He’s obsessed and possessed. The worst combination possible. You’re not going in there.”

  “What else do you want me to do? He’s holed up in there wit
h my grandmother. I have to go in. I have to try. I’m sure I can do this, but I need you to think that too. I need you to trust me.”

  “I do trust you, Maren. It’s him I don’t trust. Please, please don’t do this. I can’t get enough of you, Maren, and I’ve only just found you. You were made for me, and I for you. We’re soul mates, can’t you see that? More destined to be together than two creatures ever have been. I’ve been waiting for you for hundreds of years. I can’t lose you now.”

  “You won’t lose me,” I said. “Ever. You have me forever. I’m yours. Nothing can change that.”

  He didn’t look convinced. “My passion for you is clouding everything. I used to work alone, I was alone, and now you’re part of me. You’re my breath.” He cupped my face in his strong hands, making my entire body tingle. “I know you have free will, and I cannot make you do what you do not want, but I’m asking you . . . No, I’m begging you, please do not go inside.”

  I stepped backward, letting his hands fall from my cheeks. “Don’t ask me that. It’s not fair. I can’t just leave my grandmother behind,” I said.

  “Let me go for help,” he suggested. “Surely someone else—”

  “Who?” I interrupted. “No one from your village can go in, either, and Graham said if we bring anyone else, he’ll kill her! And we’re running out of time. I can do this, Gavin. I know I can. You heard my plan. I’ll lead him outside.”

  “It’s a good plan, Maren, if it works. But if it doesn’t . . . Arrgghhhh!” He twisted and punched the tree trunk. The air filled with a rumbling like thunder, and the tree splintered in the middle. “Arrggghhhhh!” he yelled again, a primal scream of pain. He threw his fist into the tree again. His hand dripped blood.

  “Stop it! Stop it!” I cried, grabbing at his arms.

  “I cannot take it, Maren.” He clawed at his head. “I’m going mad here. Go, just go! Get it done! Go before I can’t let you!”

  I pulled myself away and ran. Boom! I heard him hit the trunk again, but I didn’t look back. I couldn’t.