by Cari Z
Tyler’s grin had faded away, although he didn’t look any less happy, somehow. “For what?”
“For sticking up for me last night. For both of us, really, since he thinks we’re dating. I don’t think we really needed it, but—” Aaron shrugged. “—now maybe he’ll think twice before being an asshole to the next queer person he meets.”
“Good enough,” Tyler agreed. He slowly reached up and twined his fingers in between Aaron’s. Aaron let him, even though it wasn’t usual for them, a little beyond their casual level of intimacy. Tyler turned in his chair, still holding on, and drew Aaron in until he was standing between Tyler’s legs. Neither of them said anything, and the way the silence stretched should have grated on Aaron’s nerves. Instead he felt a rising sense of anticipation, his heart beating a little harder, breath coming a little faster. Tyler rubbed his thumb over the back of Aaron’s, as slow and tender as a lover’s caress, and Aaron let him—even encouraged it by tightening their grip. Tyler’s lips parted, and—
“Almost ready, Aaron! Could you leash up Norman for me?”
Aaron exhaled hard, blinked twice, and stepped back. Tyler held on to his hand for another few seconds before gradually letting him go. Aaron cleared his throat. “Ye-yeah, I can do that. I’ll… I just need to find the leash.”
“Should be hanging by the door, hon.”
“Right.” Yep, there it was. Same place it always was. “Right. Uh….” He felt awkward, weird in a way he hated to be with Tyler. Fortunately Tyler was there to make everything better, the way he usually did. The way he always does for you.
“I should get to work.” Tyler stood up. “Thanks for cookin’.”
“My pleasure,” Aaron said by rote.
“Not yet, but I’ll do somethin’ about that later,” Tyler promised with a smirk as he headed upstairs. By the time Aaron had parsed what he’d said, Chrissy was back, fully dressed and ready to go.
“Are you okay?” she asked as she looked Aaron up and down. “You seem a little….”
He shook his head automatically. “I’m fine.”
“Then maybe you could finish leashing up Norman and we can go, then.”
Oh shit, right. “Sorry.” He grabbed the leash and latched it to the dog’s collar, then tried to hand it over to Chrissy.
She made a face. “Do you mind holding it? I just put another clear coat on my nails, and I don’t want to smudge it.”
“No, I can do that.” He didn’t want to, but he could, and did. It was only four blocks to the shop, but Aaron still held on to his end of the leash for dear life. Nothing would get him kicked out of Chrissy’s place faster than letting her dog run away.
The salon was in the building on the corner, sporting a neon sign that said Razzle Dazzle alongside a pair of shiny silver scissors. Chrissy unlocked it and led the way inside. It smelled faintly of hair spray, and Aaron did his best not to wrinkle his nose.
“That one’s my station,” she said, pointing him toward a burgundy chair as she turned on a few lights. “Go ahead and have a seat. It won’t take long.”
“I can tell it’s yours.” It had pictures surrounding the edge of the mirror of her kids, all of them, Zach included, and their families as well. There was a pretty one of Zach and Becky together that Aaron recognized from their engagement photos. “You never get sick of looking at them?” he joked as he sat down.
Chrissy clucked her tongue. “You never get tired of looking at the people you love. Now.” She stood behind him and ran a hand through his hair. “What are we thinking for this?”
“I have no idea,” he said honestly. “I go in every month and ask for trim and end up like this.”
“And it doesn’t look bad,” she said judiciously, scratching her nails across his scalp. Aaron resisted the urge to push his head up into her hand. “But I think if we leave it longer on top, and just clean up the sides and the back here… add a little styling gel… yeah. You’ll look very nice.”
“Sounds good.”
“Great!” Chrissy put a cape on him, sprayed his hair down with a bottle of water, and grabbed a comb and pair of scissors. “What are you going to wear for the rehearsal dinner tonight? Did you bring two suits in that bag of yours?” She took in his horrified expression and chuckled. “I’m just kidding, you don’t need two suits. Tonight is supposed to be pretty casual. Nice pants, a button-down shirt or a polo….” She shrugged and kept clipping. “That’s probably pretty close to how you dress for work, right?”
“Pretty close.” Actually, he wore a lot of suits at work, but he hadn’t thought to bring any except his nice one. Because weddings were supposed to take place on a single day, for fuck’s sake. He’d completely spaced the dinner tonight. “What about you?”
“Oh, I’ve got a nice red dress I thought I’d pull out and use. I wore it to Lawrence’s wedding four years ago, but I bought a new ‘mother of the groom’ outfit for tomorrow, so I might as well get some more mileage out of the other one where I can.”
“I’m sorry he can’t be here.”
“Me too,” she said with a little sigh. “But sometimes things work out this way. I hope Reggie comes back to live here once he’s out of the army, but I’m pretty sure he won’t. It’s just me and Lawrence and his wife here, and Ron’s been talking about giving Reggie a job in his construction company in Nevada, so….” Chrissy shrugged. “I don’t know what he’ll do, but it’ll be the right thing. Just like Zach and Becky going to St. Louis. It’s close enough they can visit easy, and I think they both need a new start.”
“Becky said the same thing.”
“Yeah, she’s got her head on straight, that girl. Zach couldn’t have chosen any better.” She clipped in silence for a little bit, worked a squirt of styling gel into his hair, and combed it into the shape she wanted, shaved around the edge of his hairline at the back of his neck, then stepped away. “What do you think?”
Aaron looked at his reflection. It was still him, just more stylish than usual. He smiled. “I like it. Thank you, Chrissy.”
She beamed at him. “You’re welcome! Good lord, I think this is the closest you’ve ever come to letting me mother you.” She swept the cape off from around his neck, chuckling. “All right, handsome, I’m done. I’ll keep Norman here with me. If you can convince Tyler to let me do something with his hair too…,” she hinted.
“Don’t count on it.”
“That’s what I thought. I’ll see you a home around four―I’ll change real quick and then you guys can follow me to the golf course.”
“Sounds good.”
Aaron resisted the urge to touch his hair as he headed back to the house. The gel wasn’t the kind to made his hair crispy, which he appreciated, but he didn’t want to inadvertently fuck it up until Tyler got a chance to see it. Which… shouldn’t really matter, but it did.
He stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. “Are you seriously considering this?” he said aloud to himself. “Really?”
“Considering what?”
Aaron almost jumped out of his skin as an elderly man with a watering can unbent from behind a rosebush. “Shit! Sorry,” he apologized.
“I should apologize for startling you.” The man tilted his head a little, then said, “If you don’t mind some free advice, son, I’ve got two points for you to think about.”
Free advice. Great. But Aaron would take it, in the spirit of penance for being a dumbass. “Sure, go ahead.”
“First point: if you’re bothered by something enough that you’re talking about it out loud, then you’re already considering it seriously. The only thing left at that point is to do something about it. Second point: you might want to wear one of those Bluetooth thingies in your ear if you’re going to make a habit of this. Just so people don’t think you’re crazy.”
Aaron nodded. “Good points,” he said faintly. “Thanks.”
“Sure thing, son. You have a nice day.”
“You too.”
Aaron walked the rest
of the way to Chrissy’s place in silence. It wasn’t that he didn’t want a relationship. He was just scared to consider one with Tyler. Because Tyler was… everything, really. The person that Aaron wanted to hang out with, felt most comfortable with, was happiest with… thought about sometimes when he knew he shouldn’t.
But why not? They were adults, they weren’t related, there was nothing squicky there. They just happened to already be best friends. Who said they couldn’t be more?
Except then, if and when it all imploded, Aaron would be left with nothing. No Tyler, and no Diana and Theodore because if he lost his right to be Tyler’s, then he’d lose his right to participate in his family. They were a package deal, and if he fucked it up, if he lost it, he’d have….
“Stop it,” he muttered to himself, then rolled his eyes as he walked back into Chrissy’s house. Hopefully this word-vomit thing he had going would resolve itself when they left Kansas.
Tyler was set up at the dining room table, computer open, dress shirt on over his sweatpants as he participated in a conference call. Aaron didn’t know whether he was more disappointed or relieved that he didn’t have to face the music yet. He headed upstairs to grab his book, then went back down to the little living room just adjacent to the dining room, where he could still see Tyler, and settled in to read.
There was some sort of complication in Corporate-ville, difficult enough that it kept Tyler glued to the computer for most of the morning and afternoon, alternating between talking to his distraught superiors and hunting down the glitch in the program that kept them from doing what they wanted. Aaron just relaxed on the couch and worked his way through the rest of Sharp Teeth, then got a start on the new Neil de Grasse Tyson. He made lunch for both of them, silently setting a plate by Tyler’s elbow and getting a grateful look in return before returning to his relaxing.
And it was relaxing. It was the first part of this vacation that had really felt appropriately aimless. Everything else, even when it was just Tyler and him, had been done with an air of “get it in while you can, do do do, go go go.” This was different. This was how Aaron would have spent his vacation if he could have gotten away with it—just hanging out with Tyler. The two of them in a room, comfortable with each other, being together. They would have had a few beers, eaten whatever anyone decided to make, petted Clue. They would have been happy, and everything would have been easy. And probably Aaron would never have come to the realization that there might be something more between them, if he wanted there to be. If he could reach for it.
Maybe this trip wasn’t so bad.
A little after three thirty, he headed upstairs and pulled out a short-sleeved white-and-blue checked shirt that would pass as semiformal and a pair of tan slacks. A belt, a belt… he didn’t have a brown belt, just a black one to go with his suit. Tyler, though…. Aaron rummaged through his bag, still partially unpacked, until he found the belt he was looking for. He was a little more slender than Tyler, but not by much. He ran his hands over the worn leather indent of Tyler’s notch before pulling it one tighter.
Tyler came upstairs while Aaron was in the bathroom checking on his hair. It still looked like it had when Chrissy had fussed with it earlier, pretty much, so Aaron was willing to call it good.
“Stupid fuckers,” Tyler called out as he went into their room. Aaron heard a telltale creak that was almost certainly Tyler flopping down on the bed.
“Who’s a stupid fucker, and why?” Aaron asked as he made his way back down the hall. He stepped through the door and sure enough, Tyler was facedown, limbs spread out across the bed like a gargantuan starfish.
“My bosses,” Tyler groaned. “Seriously, why bother puttin’ me in charge of their damn database when they’re gonna let anybody who claims they know how to code just waltz into my program and start fuckin’ it up? I don’t care if the kid is Hugh’s nephew and ‘certainly seemed like he knew what he was doing,’” Tyler added in Hugh’s telltale English accent. “You don’t just let somebody go rummaging through your code like that. It’s like steppin’ in wet cement; it leaves a mark.”
“I take it you fixed it, though.”
“Yeah.” Tyler rolled over onto his back. “Changed the passwords too, so the next time Hugh wants to fuck with the database, he’s gotta get permission first… Is that my belt?”
“Yeah.” Aaron glanced down. “It’s the only one that matched. Sorry, did you need it for tonight?” He started to take it off, then stopped when Tyler held up a hand.
“No, no, don’t. It’s fine.” He sounded a little strangled. “Looks good on you. Real handsome. The haircut is, I mean. On you, but… anyway. Yeah.”
“Thanks.” They stared at each other for a long moment, and Aaron felt the tension between them rise again, but now wasn’t the time. “You better get ready. Chrissy’ll be back soon, and then we’ll have to head out.”
“Right, the dinner.” Tyler sat up and rolled his shoulders for a second. “You worried about running into the dudebros again so soon?”
Aaron shrugged. “What kind of trouble are they going to cause at the rehearsal dinner? Becky will keep them in line.”
“I bet she will. Kind of a scary girl when she puts her mind to it.”
“Are you worried?” Aaron asked, and Tyler snorted as he got up and headed for the closet where he’d been convinced to at least hang up his shirts.
“Nah. Any of them give me any lip, I’ll just put them in another headlock.”
“I don’t know, I think Simon could take you.” Aaron tried not to stare as Tyler stripped off his work shirt in favor of a more comfortable one that still looked nice and matched the blue of his eyes. He started in on his pants and Aaron averted his eyes, taking his own turn sitting on the edge of the bed and holding on to his composure. “All that wrestling experience.”
“Simon ain’t the one I’ve got any reason to worry about, and Matthew’s basically a follower. He’s not gonna start anything.” Aaron could hear the smile in Tyler’s voice. “Besides, you said I gave Owen a black eye, so I think everybody who sees us tonight isn’t going to find me wanting.”
“You’re so manly.”
“I know, it’s a blessing and a curse. Good enough?”
Aaron finally looked at him. Tyler’s blue shirt was linen, familiar and well-worn, but he had on a pair of jeans that Aaron wasn’t sure he’d ever seen before. They were so… fitted.
“Yeah. You look….” Norman’s barking alerted them to the fact that Chrissy was home, and Aaron sighed. He wasn’t sure who had worse timing, her or them lately. “You look great,” he said firmly before responding to Chrissy’s shouted greeting. She stopped outside their room and glanced in, then smiled admiringly.
“Don’t you both clean up well!” She fanned herself mockingly. “If this is what you look like for the rehearsal dinner, I don’t know how people are going to survive the ceremony.”
“They’ll be busy looking at Becky and all her hot pink bridesmaids. They won’t even notice us,” Tyler predicted. “You ’bout ready to go?”
“I can get the dress on in a jiffy and we’ll be out of here.” She headed for her own bedroom and the moment was broken again, if they were even having one.
Aaron was determined that they were going to have another before the night was out.
THE golf course was adjacent to Fort Leavenworth, eighteen pristine holes right next to a fenced-in complex with the enormous gray military penitentiary clearly visible in the background.
Tyler saw it and whistled. “Damn, that’s where Zach works?”
“Apparently.” Aaron was more focused on following Chrissy than sightseeing—she drove like a bat out of hell. Was she worried they were going to be late? The first guests weren’t supposed to show up for another fifteen minutes, and even then, it was just family and close friends.
“What’s he gonna do in St. Louis if he’s not a prison guard?”
“Maybe he’ll go back to school too.” There was the clubhouse, th
ank God. Aaron slowed down and pulled the 4Runner in behind Chrissy’s car with a relieved sigh.
“Maybe. Guy like him, though, I bet he’ll want to work at least part-time, especially if they’re going into debt for Becky already. He’s responsible like that.”
They both got out, and Aaron tossed the keys to Tyler.
“What do you think he’d study?” Tyler asked.
“I don’t know. Maybe criminology? You should ask him.”
“Or you could. Since you’re his brother and everything. Show an interest.”
Aaron gestured around them. “Is us being here not showing enough of an interest?”
“Youngest children can never have too much attention paid to them,” Tyler said with a grin. “Ask me how I know.”
“I don’t need to, you enormous narcissist.”
“Boys!” Chrissy waved a hand toward the door. “Get a move on!” She looked nice in her red dress, and almost unrecognizable without her doggie shadow following her around.
“The dinner’s in the hall at the back,” she said as they reached her. “Becky’s folks should already be here, her mother’s been texting me nonstop since two.”
“Will her famous grandma be here too?” Tyler asked as they headed back together.
“I’m sure she will be.”
“Awesome. I can’t wait to meet a woman with that kind of dick compass.”
“Ty, c’mon.” Aaron punched him lightly in the shoulder. “Try not to embarrass yourself this early in the evening.”
“I don’t think I’d be embarrassing either myself or Grandma if I complimented her on her special abilities,” Ty retorted. “Maybe Becky’s parents, but who’s really gonna give a good goddamn if—”
“Jeannette! Carl!” One quick left and they were suddenly confronted with a riot of balloons outside a double door, along with a sign that said Simpson Party. A couple exclaimed as soon as they caught sight of them. The woman looked like an older, blonder version of Becky, and the man was lanky and lean like Matthew. Chrissy leaned in to exchange hugs while Aaron and Tyler hung back.