Promises, Promises

by Patricia Scanlan

  Vincent answered the phone. In the background, Chris could hear laughter and chat. Of course, the mother’s party.

  ‘Hello!’ Vincent said again.

  Damn! Why hadn’t Ellen answered? Chris hung up. Vincent would have recognized him if he’d spoken and he’d surely wonder why he was looking for Ellen. He’d leave it until Sunday afternoon. Maybe he’d catch her then.

  Suzy’s heart was beating fast as she rang the doorbell. She’d been petrified that Chris wouldn’t be at home. The relief when she saw his car in the drive was immense. The look of surprise on his face when he opened the door was gratifying.

  ‘You’re back early!’ he remarked as he stepped aside to let her in.

  ‘I missed you, darling.’ Suzy flung her arms around him. She gazed into his deep blue eyes, ‘I really missed you.’

  ‘Show me how much,’ Chris said huskily. His arms tightened around her. She kissed him. A long slow deep wet French kiss that left him in no doubt as to how much he’d been missed. His eyes darkened with desire.

  ‘Let’s go upstairs,’ Suzy murmured. She took him by the hand and led him up to the bedroom.

  Ellen’s stomach lurched as she saw the familiar red car in the driveway. It was eight-fifteen on Monday morning as Mick pulled up outside Chris’s house. She’d persuaded her parents to confront Chris in his house rather than at work. He’d never forgive her if they made a show of him at the office. She had no idea that he’d moved offices and gone out on his own.

  Sheila stepped out of the car with grim resolve. She hadn’t spoken once on the trip into town. Ellen followed her. She felt as if she were in a dream and that her life was no longer hers to control. She was fearful, hopeful, desperate to see him once more. Sheila gave a smart rap on the dull brass knocker. Mick shuffled from one foot to the other, and cleared his throat. Ellen’s palms began to sweat as panic overcame her. She could see Chris’s outline against the glass panel.

  He opened the door and the look of shocked dismay on his face made her feel sick.

  ‘What the hell?’ he swore.

  He looked very handsome in his smart business suit. Despite all that had happened between them, Ellen longed to fling herself into his arms and have him hug her.

  ‘We want a word with you, young man.’ Sheila glared at him. ‘If you don’t mind, we’ll step inside. I’m sure you don’t want the neighbours to know your business.’

  ‘Who is it, Chris?’ Ellen wanted to die as she saw Suzy glide down the stairs looking cool and soignée and reed-thin in a Prince of Wales check suit with a short boxy jacket, edged in black velvet.

  ‘I . . . I . . . have some business to do with the Munroes. I’ll call you later.’ Chris flushed as he ushered the surprised girl past the trio at the door.

  ‘Oh . . . OK.’ It was obvious she was extremely disconcerted.

  Sheila’s lips thinned. Her nostrils flared. She stepped inside as if she was walking into a slurry-pit. Mick followed sheepishly. Ellen couldn’t look Chris in the eye. He closed the door and glared at Ellen. Sheila gave Mick a dig in the ribs.

  He cleared his throat. ‘You know Ellen’s pregnant with your child. We want to know how soon you can marry her. We want to make the arrangements,’ Mick said bluntly.

  ‘Look, I’ve told Ellen I’ll support her financially if she doesn’t want to hand the baby up for adoption. But marriage is out of the question,’ Chris blustered.

  ‘Now, son, it’s like this. Where I come from, if a man gets a girl into trouble, he marries her and he faces up to his responsibilities. My daughter’s reputation is ruined. But it can be salvaged. And you, young man, will do the proper thing.’

  ‘Indeed you will.’ Sheila couldn’t contain herself. ‘And very soon, too, if you don’t want your child to be born out of wedlock.’

  ‘Ellen, tell them. Tell them I can’t marry you. I’ve just set up in business,’ Chris said angrily, ‘I can’t afford to get married.’

  ‘I’ll see to it that you have a roof over your heads.’ Mick was unimpressed. ‘I’ll build a house on the site we’ve kept for Ellen. So apart from taking care of your wife and child, you’ll be very little the worse off.’

  ‘No!’ Chris sounded desperate. How dare she bring her parents to his house to browbeat him!

  Ellen looked at him. His eyes were hard and angry. His mouth drawn in a thin line. Nothing would make him change his mind. She’d been a fool to think otherwise.

  ‘Young man, have you no shame? What do your parents think of this?’

  ‘They don’t know about it. But if they did, they wouldn’t expect me to get married when I’ve said I’d take care of Ellen financially. And don’t talk to me about shame. Ellen didn’t have to sleep with me. And she wasn’t a virgin either when she did. It might not be mine at all.’ Chris was incandescent with rage as he lashed out mercilessly, unmoved by Ellen’s stricken face.

  Mick’s hands clenched into fists. Sheila looked as if she was about to faint.

  ‘I should knock your head off for that. But I won’t lower myself to your level in the sewers. Come on, Sheila, Ellen.’ He flung open the front door and directed the two women out before him. Red-faced with anger and contempt he turned to Chris. ‘I’ll take care of the child. I wouldn’t see my daughter humble herself by taking one penny of your money.’

  ‘But Mick,’ protested Sheila as her one vain hope of redemption disappeared, ‘he’s got to marry her.’

  ‘I wouldn’t allow Ellen to marry him under any circumstances. Let’s get home,’ her husband said curtly.

  Ellen had never seen her father so angry. She felt dirty and humiliated and shamed. The shock she felt couldn’t be more if he’d physically hit her. How could Chris have told them she wasn’t a virgin before he’d slept with her? How low could he get? She’d never rise above this. She’d never be able to look her parents in the eye again. She was at their mercy. She got into the car and struggled to keep her composure. If she started crying, she’d never stop.

  ‘You can go and stay with Aunt Lily in Navan until the baby is born. I’ll phone her immediately. And then you can have the child adopted. No-one need ever know.’ Sheila was distracted.

  ‘She won’t go to Lily’s and she won’t put the child up for adoption either unless she wants to. She’ll stay with us, Sheila. I won’t avoid my responsibilities, and neither will you. That’s the end of it. Ellen’s our daughter and we’ll stand by her.’

  Sheila swallowed hard. Mick rarely laid down the law but, when he did, he was implacable. There was no arguing with him. He had set his face against the wind and there was no turning back. Sheila knew that sending Ellen to her sister Lily and having the baby put up for adoption was the last chance the family had of retaining their respectability now that Chris had refused to do the honourable thing. But Mick had stepped in and put a stop to that, with his talk of accepting responsibility. All because of his stubborn pride. She was the one who was going to have to suffer the snide gossip and pointing fingers. Sheila felt thoroughly defeated.

  Ellen sat in the back of her father’s car, her mind in turmoil. Perhaps her mother was right. Maybe she should go to her aunt’s for the rest of her pregnancy. Maybe she should hand the baby up for adoption. Would it be the best thing to do for her child’s future? Her father’s reaction wasn’t a total surprise to her. He was a good man. He looked after his own. Her baby might never know its father, but Mick would not disown it. And neither will I, Ellen thought fiercely. Somehow or another, with his help, she’d get through it. Sheila would never forgive her. Ellen would have to live with that.

  ‘Christ Almighty!’ Chris slammed the door after his unwelcome guests. He was so stunned and angry, he was shaking. That was it. Definitely! He was finished with Ellen. He never wanted to see her or her dreadful parents again. The nerve of them, landing on his doorstep making demands and threats. How dare that . . . that provincial butcher and his hick dragon of a wife look down their noses at him as if he was some sort of worm. He’d ha
d every intention of phoning Ellen until Suzy’s unexpected arrival. But then, they’d gone to bed and all thoughts of his former girlfriend had disappeared as he and Suzy spent hours making passionate love.

  He’d have phoned Ellen at work today and tried to come to some satisfactory arrangement. But she’d ruined her chances by pulling this morning’s crazy stunt. Ellen’s father could look after the child. Chris was having nothing to do with them. Ever.

  He thought of the stricken look of deep pain and hurt that had darkened Ellen’s eyes when he said the child might not be his and felt horribly guilty. He shouldn’t have said that. It was rage and the feeling of being trapped that had made him blurt it out. It was her own fault, he thought angrily. Guilt was not a feeling he was familiar with. And he didn’t like it. He drove to work and banished all memories of the morning’s debacle from his mind and immersed himself in his paperwork. When Suzy phoned him an hour later demanding to know what was going on, he bluntly told her to mind her own business. It was nothing to do with her and she wasn’t ever to ask him about it again.

  The vehemence of his tone told her he was deadly serious. Although she was dying with curiosity, Suzy knew he meant every word he said. Instinctively she knew this was a topic to be left alone. Suzy wasn’t too worried. For some strange reason she felt much more confident of her chances of becoming Mrs Chris Wallace.

  ‘Why, Miriam? Why has he done this to me? How could he say a thing like that? And in front of my parents? Why can’t he love me the way I love him? He said he loved me. How could he lie about that? How could he say it if he didn’t mean it?’ Ellen was almost incoherent as grief, hurt and pain overwhelmed her. She was sobbing like a child in her sister-in-law’s kitchen. Mick had told her to take the day off work.

  ‘I would have done anything for him. Anything. And he knows that. Why has he treated me like I was his worst enemy?’

  ‘Because he’s a bastard of the highest order. He’s a selfish, lying, cheating shit who doesn’t know the meaning of the word love. There’s only one person in this world that Chris Wallace loves, Ellen, and that’s himself. I’m telling you now. You’re better off without him. Forget him.’ Miriam, nearly in tears herself, was flushed with anger. If she could have got her hands on Chris she would have murdered him without a qualm for inflicting such suffering on Ellen.

  Ellen was speechless at her sister-in-law’s tirade. Miriam only used bad language under extreme provocation. It was painful to hear her say such things about Chris. Especially as, in her heart of hearts, Ellen knew there was a lot of truth in what Miriam said.

  ‘Ellen, you’re shattered. Why don’t you go and have a lie-down for a while and I’ll bring you up a bite of lunch later on,’ Miriam urged.

  Ellen hiccuped and nodded. She felt immensely weary. Ten minutes later she was lying in Miriam’s big brass bed. The curtains were drawn and she curled up tightly in the dark and tried to ignore the panicky racing of her heart.

  ‘Please, God, take this pain away. Please, please, please, let me forget Chris. Please get him out of my head and my heart. And help me to be strong for my baby. Saint Michael, archangel of God, give me courage. Saint Anthony help me to find peace of mind,’ she prayed frantically, desperate to find solace in this, the worst trauma of her life.

  Chapter Eight

  Rebecca Catherine Munroe whimpered as Father Kelly poured holy water over her forehead and christened her. The whimper turned into a howl. Emma watched Ellen try to soothe her new goddaughter. She wasn’t having much success. Babies were very noisy. There was so much fuss attached to them. All the feeding and bathing and changing. It was never-ending. She hadn’t really realized how much attention babies needed until Rebecca’s arrival.

  Emma knew she was unnatural, but the thought of having to give her life over completely to a demanding baby made her feel most resentful. This hadn’t been the plan at all. And besides, what did she know about babies? Nothing! And now she was expected suddenly to know all about feeds and nappy rash and colic and something called cradle-cap. It was horrendous. And the thought of breastfeeding gave her the shivers. How did you know if it was getting enough milk? She definitely wasn’t going to breastfeed. Besides she certainly didn’t want a bosom like Liz Taylor’s. She liked her pert firm breasts. Would they ever return to normal, she wondered despondently. She’d gone up a bra size already. She was enormous.

  Rebecca quietened down, thankfully. What did you do if your baby wouldn’t stop crying? How did you know what was wrong with it? It couldn’t tell you. The idea of it all petrified Emma. Why should she have to be a mother when she didn’t want to be one?

  Emma looked at Ellen rocking the baby gently in her arms. She looked drawn and pale and desperately unhappy. Dark shadows ringed her eyes. She was a stupid girl not to have listened to her and Vincent’s advice about Chris. Sheila had told Vincent the news about her pregnancy this morning. Vincent was as mad as hell. Especially when he’d heard that Chris had no intention of marrying Ellen. He’d wanted to go and flatten him. It was most embarrassing to have her cousin behave so badly. She wouldn’t have cared if it was some girl she didn’t know. But Vincent’s sister. Sheila had been rather frosty with Emma that morning as if it were her fault. It was most unfair. Especially when Ellen had been warned. Stupid idiot, Emma thought angrily. Vincent was so furious, he’d demanded that Emma go and talk to Chris to get him to see sense.

  ‘I’m not getting involved, Vincent. It’s nothing to do with me. I warned her not to have anything to do with him, so forget it,’ she snapped. ‘He’ll never marry her.’

  He was right too, she thought defiantly. Why on earth would Chris want to marry Ellen Munroe when he could have his pick of the crème de la crème. She wasn’t glitzy or glamorous enough for high-flying Chris Wallace and she was a fool ever to think she was, Emma thought contemptuously.

  Vincent was so annoyed by her response that he was now in a huff. He hadn’t spoken a word to her on the drive to the church and, when they were waiting for the christening to start, he just sat with his arms folded, his face like thunder, ignoring her. Now he was up at the foot of the altar, performing his godfatherly duties, looking as if he’d like to murder Ellen. When he’d heard that Ellen was actually going to go through with being godmother and had gone to Mass that morning as if nothing had happened, he’d nearly had a blue fit.

  ‘She can’t go to church in her condition. She can’t stand up at the altar as brazen as you like for the christening. She’ll make a show of us,’ he raged to Sheila.

  ‘Miriam and Ben want her as godmother and there’s nothing I can do about it,’ Sheila hissed. ‘For God’s sake don’t start a row at the church and make a disgrace of us. Things are bad enough as they are. That’s what comes of mixing with riff-raff.’ She cast a cold look in Emma’s direction before she marched out to the car where Mick was waiting.

  Emma was incensed. If Sheila Munroe thought she was going to look down her aquiline nose at Emma and blame her for Chris’s misdemeanours she had another think coming. Marrying into this culchie clodhopping family was the biggest mistake she’d ever made in her life, she decided as she glowered at her husband who gave her an equally icy stare in return. For two pins, she wouldn’t bother going back to Miriam’s for tea and sandwiches and christening cake. Let Vincent go on his own. It was his bloody family. She’d had enough of them.

  ‘You can bring me home. I’m not going back to Miriam’s. I don’t feel well,’ Emma muttered as Vincent came back to the seat.

  ‘You can come back for ten minutes. Miriam’s been very good to you. Then we’ll leave.’ Vincent was uncharacteristically stern. Emma wanted to argue. She hated being bossed about. But it was true that Miriam had been very good to her. It would have been insulting not to go back to her house to congratulate her on her daughter’s christening. She’d be pleasant to Miriam and Ben but Vincent, Sheila and Ellen could go and get lost, Emma decided crossly as she preceded her husband out the door of St Joseph’s.

>   Ellen was getting into Ben’s car with Rebecca. Now that she knew what to look for, Emma could see the unmistakable signs of pregnancy. Before she’d thought that her sister-in-law was putting on weight which she covered up with bulky clothes. Now that she knew the reason, Emma couldn’t help having a good look. Today Ellen was wearing a loose blouse over a kilt-type skirt. Very untidy, Emma thought. She’d definitely have to start wearing maternity clothes soon and then the tongues would start wagging. It would certainly take Sheila down a peg or two, she thought vindictively, still smarting from her mother-in-law’s insulting remark earlier.

  They drove to Miriam’s house in silence. She had no intention of breaking the ice. He would have to apologize to her first. The nerve of Vincent, treating her like that just because she refused to confront Chris. She wondered what her parents would say when they heard the news. Pamela would be mortified that a member of her side of the family had got Ellen into trouble. Why hadn’t Ellen listened to them? She was so bloody sure of herself, she thought she knew it all. Now look at her, and all the trouble she was causing. Well Ellen needn’t think she’d get any sympathy from her. Emma was so annoyed she felt like giving her sister-in-law a piece of her mind.

  Ellen could see Emma scowling at her. Obviously she knew. Vincent certainly knew. He’d glared at her through the ceremony and Ellen knew he was going to let her have it. She settled into the car with the baby in her arms. Emma turned her head away dismissively as Ben drove past. Well fuck her with her airs and graces. It was none of her business anyway, Ellen raged. It wasn’t anyone’s business and they needn’t think they were going to make her feel bad. Thank God for Miriam and Ben, if it wasn’t for them, she’d never get through it.