The People in the Park

by Margaree King Mitchell

  He said yes! He wondered what took me so long. He thought maybe I had another date.

  I told him that I’d never had another date. And I hadn’t. I just thought I had.

  Life is so complicated. Why couldn’t our lives run smoothly without any drama? Why couldn’t everyone in the world be happy and live their lives without distress?

  The prudent thing would be to wear the same dress to both proms. They were a week apart. Amazing that I was even contemplating doing that. In the past I would have had to get another dress, even though it was highly unlikely that anyone from Patrick’s school was attending the prom at Fairfield Oaks.

  This year was different. I’m not saying that I didn’t care how I looked because I did. It was just that there was so much more going on in my life, more important than getting another prom dress.

  I told Patrick about the plan for us to ride in the hummer limo with my friends. He was all for it.

  Part of me was glad that I had a date for the prom. This would show Jay and his family and everyone else at Fairfield Oaks that I wasn’t dependent on them for my happiness. I hoped I didn’t sound like a mad woman.

  Another part of me was sad that I had abandoned my dream of going to the prom with Jay. All I had to do was say yes to be on the way to the prom with him.

  But something deep down inside kept me from crossing that threshold. Was it my pride? Yes! I wouldn’t give Jay the satisfaction of breaking down and going to the prom with him. I’d rather go by myself first. Or stay at home.

  Jay kept sending me texts asking me to change my mind. But I wouldn’t. I compared him to Patrick all the time. Patrick was so thoughtful. He called me every night. Patrick was organized. He had plans for his future mapped out. He didn’t expect me to change my plans for him.

  Jay never called me, or rarely. He always sent text messages or e-mail. I wondered if he really liked me for me. Or if I was just a pretty girl for his arm.

  I really didn’t know much about Jay. I didn’t know what he thought about lots of things. I didn’t know what his future plans were. I didn’t know where he planned to go to college. I didn’t know what he planned to do career-wise.

  I thought I knew him, but I really didn’t. When he first told me we weren’t going together to the prom, I was devastated. How did we get to this point?

  I finally sent Jay a text and told him that I was going to the prom with someone else, and he should ask someone else too.

  Callie said I shouldn’t have told him anything. To let him be surprised when I arrived with a date. I didn’t want to hurt Jay intentionally. That wasn’t in me. I was concerned about hurting his feelings although he wasn’t concerned about hurting mine.

  It was done. Time to move on.

  35

  I saw Maybelle in the park today.

  She was happy when I told her that Patrick and I were going to my prom and also to his prom. She was pleased with her matchmaking skills. Even though I’d already met Patrick before that evening at her apartment, it was because of her that we were going to our proms together.

  Maybelle and Rose made a big fuss over what I’d be wearing. I assured them I already had my dress. Of course, they thought I should be wearing two different dresses. They disregarded my protests when I told them that no one at either school would be at the other’s prom except Patrick and me. I tried to tell them that if I wanted another prom dress I could afford one. But they clucked their tongues and shook their heads as if they knew better.

  My biggest nightmare was that they might show up in the park tomorrow with another prom dress for me. They’re kindhearted and mean well. If they hadn’t insisted on me going to the prom I’d probably be at home prom night. I accepted them playing matchmaker, but I drew the line at giving me clothes to wear. Besides they didn’t know my taste in clothes, and I certainly didn’t know theirs.

  Mom was still busy planning for the move that night when I got home. She had her planner out and house plans lay across her bed. I crawled into bed beside her.

  Mom passed the house plans to me. “Which room do you want?”

  I looked through the house plans. Nothing stood out for me. “Whichever one you say will be fine.”

  Mom looked at me. She was incredulous. “You are usually so picky about where your room is located.”

  “I’m not feeling this,” I said.

  She put down everything she was doing and looked at me. “What’s going on with you?”

  “I’m not sure I want to do my senior year in Atlanta.” I said. “I don’t know anyone there. I want to finish school here.”

  There! I had finally said it out loud.

  “Well! That sheds new light on this situation,” Mom said. “Where would you stay if you stayed here? We’re hoping the house will sell by the time school is over.”

  “I’ve been thinking,” I looked at her and hoped she would understand. “I can stay with Tiffany and Aunt Ira.”

  “Hmmmm.” She thought about it for a moment. I could practically see the wheels turning in her head. “The traffic every morning getting over here to school will be unbearable.”

  “That’s the thing,” I said. “I can transfer to Lincoln Prep and go to school with Tiffany. Mrs. Stevens will be there. She’s been hired as the Journalism and New Media teacher. I’m thinking about majoring in Journalism in college. At least I was thinking about it before Dad’s name and face was all over TV. Now I have to see if I really want to do this.”

  “Isn’t the same thing going to be taught at Fairfield Oaks? I recall getting a notice of the new subjects that would be offered next year.”

  “I know, but I was thinking about getting to know my family better.”

  She paused and had a faraway look in her eyes. I knew she was inwardly blaming herself for me not being closer to Tiffany.

  “You know, darling, we moved out here so you could have the best schooling.”

  “I know.” I laid my head on her shoulder. “I just feel like I want to go to Lincoln Prep my senior year. It’s a good school.”

  “One of the best,” Mom agreed.

  “I had a good time with Tiffany and her friends when I spent the weekend with her. And I really loved going to church with Aunt Ira and the family. Tiffany has a beautiful voice. I didn’t know she could sing.”

  Mom sighed, “Oh darling, we should’ve attended church more as a family. I can see why you loved being in church. There’s nothing like anthems and hymns and spirituals on a Sunday morning.”

  “I remember when I was little we used to go to church, but I don’t remember too much about it.”

  “Then Sunday became a day of rest for our family after all the activities of the week. We should’ve been getting recharged in church.”

  I told Mom that the past didn’t matter anymore. Maybe all of this had to happen so I could make my own decisions and discover what it means to live a life of faith.

  “You know, we can afford to send you to Fairfield Oaks your senior year now that your father has a new position in Atlanta.”

  “I know Mom, but I need to do this.”

  “I’ll talk to your father this weekend when he comes home.”

  Mom nuzzled her face in my hair and held me close.

  36

  I saw Dr. Smithfield in the park today.

  He was rounding the bend near the grove of trees, but he was on the opposite side of the walking path, near the railroad tracks. I cut across the park to intercept him.

  “Good morning, Dr. Smithfield.”

  “Lauren, how are you today?”

  “I’m fine. The summer job you offered me a while back, if it’s still available, I’ll take it.”

  He smiled. “Good! Good! Let me know when you can start. I’m converting to a digital filing system, so you will have plenty to keep you busy. Patients’ files need to be scanned into the new system. And of course, everything is confidential.”

  “Of course,” I said.

  “Great! Let me know whe
n you can start. Larraine, my office manager, will certainly appreciate the help.”

  I watched him and his little white dog until they were out of sight. Then I went over to a bench near the river and sat down. I felt good. I actually felt free. I was making decisions about my own life. My life was in my hands.

  Attending church with Tiffany and family had been the turning point for me. I was learning to trust in God. I didn’t feel empty inside anymore. I wanted to be part of their church community. I’d felt alive there, like I could face anything.

  I had nothing against the city of Atlanta, but I wanted to stay here and finish this part of my life. I wanted to grow in faith, and I definitely could do that here.

  The river was clear today. I didn’t know where the logs I saw in it yesterday ended up. Did they go downstream to St. Louis and then flow into the Mississippi River or did someone intercept them? The water had receded to normal levels. The sun’s rays shone down upon the water, and it seemed as if the ripples were dancing in the sunlight.

  There was so much I wanted out of life now that I had time to actually think about it. Mom seemed to understand that being here my senior year was best for me.

  I still had so much to figure out, like where I wanted to go to college. Since my life had turned upside down, the things that I used to care about I didn’t care about anymore. I just wanted to live a good, normal life with good friends around me. I wanted to follow my heart where it led me and not be concerned whether I lived in the best part of town or not. I didn’t need to be around the “best” people with all their connections.

  I wanted to be happy. And I didn’t know what all that entailed. I just wanted to be happy.

  ****

  After school Callie, Stacie, Melanie, and I entered the parking lot. Steffy was leaving in my car. She had the top down.

  “Do you girls want a ride?” Steffy asked. “Especially you, Lauren. You can see how smooth the ride in your car is. I feel like I’m floating on air every time I drive it.”

  “No, I’d rather walk than ride with you.” I said and kept walking.

  “You don’t have to hate on me because your old man had to sell your car. Let’s face it, we all have hard times.”

  “I can’t wait until yours comes,” Callie said.

  “My daddy owns his own business,” Steffy said. “He knows how to manage money without stealing it.”

  “Haven’t you heard?” Stacie asked. “Lauren’s father was cleared.”

  “For now,” said Steffy. “You never know what can come up with a little digging.”

  “You are so mean!” Melanie said. “I don’t know why we wanted you as a friend anyway.”

  “Bring it!” Steffy said as she drove off.

  By the time Callie, Stacie, and Melanie caught up with me I was getting into Mom’s car.

  “Are you OK?” asked Callie.

  “I’m trying to be,” I said.

  “We’re here for you,” Callie said. “Where do you want to go?”

  “I’m OK. Really.” I drove away.

  And I really was OK. I went straight home. I didn’t have to go on a long drive to clear my head. I didn’t have to have a pity party with my friends and talk about Steffy. I needed none of that.

  She couldn’t hurt me anymore.

  37

  Dad was home for the weekend.

  I’d stayed at school late working on my recession story. I still didn’t know for sure if I wanted to major in journalism in college. Right now what the future held seemed a long way off.

  Mom had told Dad about my plans to go to Lincoln Prep. Dad took us out to dinner at the steakhouse on the Plaza so we could discuss it.

  The restaurant had lush carpeting, heavy wood furniture, and hushed tones. It had been a while since we’d been in a place like this as a family, and I could see why. Lots of people recognized Dad and came over to greet him and wish him well.

  I immediately felt at home. I belonged here. This was the world in which I felt comfortable. Then what was I trying to figure out?

  Dad’s voice brought me back to the present. Our waiter had us choose from a selection of cuts. Then we settled down to family talk while our steaks were being char-grilled.

  Dad told us about his first week at work in Atlanta. He had dinner with his colleagues at various golf and private clubs every night. When Mom got to Atlanta they would decide which clubs to join.

  “What’s this I hear about you wanting to graduate from Lincoln Prep instead of Fairfield Oaks?” Dad asked.

  “I’ve given it lots of thought,” I said. “Fairfield Oaks is all I’ve known since middle school. I want a change. I want to see what it’s like going to another school, a school with more black students. I haven’t had that experience ever.”

  “There’s a reason why you haven’t had that experience,” Dad said. “You know why we moved to Fairfield. I wanted you to have the best.”

  “Who says that’s the best?” I struggled to get him to understand my position. “I’ve had the Fairfield experience and see where it got me. Jay’s family wouldn’t allow him to take me to prom. Steffy now drives my car. Living in Fairfield and going to Fairfield Oaks is not all that important anymore.”

  “Then, Kitten, what is important to you?”

  “I don’t know,” I admitted. “I’m trying to figure that out. I want to get to know Tiffany better. We’re cousins and we barely know each other. I loved the atmosphere at Lincoln Prep the weekend that I spent with Tiffany. There was more pageantry and more school spirit at Lincoln Prep than at Fairfield Oaks.”

  “You can’t say there is more school spirit,” Mom said. “They just express it differently.”

  “Well I want to be a part of that atmosphere,” I said, pleading with my eyes and gestures. “Being at Lincoln Prep was cool when you were out of town. No one judged me or looked at me funny. They welcomed me as Tiffany’s cousin.”

  “I want you to graduate from Fairfield Oaks if you’re not going to move to Atlanta with us,” Dad said.

  “You can have the black experience at a HBCU,” Mom said.

  “Mom, I haven’t decided where I want to go to college yet.”

  “What about the Ivy League? Or one of the elite women’s colleges on the east coast?” Dad said. He was bewildered as to why I wanted to change plans now, plans that had been in the making since we moved to Fairfield.

  “I don’t want to go to Fairfield Oaks my senior year.”

  “Is it because of Jay?”

  “No, he wants to get back together and go to the prom.”

  “Then problem solved,” Dad said.

  “No! I don’t want to get back with him,” I said. “Besides, he isn’t the reason I want to change to Lincoln Prep.”

  “Then is it because Steffy is driving your car?” Mom asked.

  “I’ll get you a new car when you get to Atlanta this summer,” Dad said.

  Exasperated, I looked from one to the other. I couldn’t think of words to make them understand.

  Our food arrived and the waiter, with great fanfare, placed our meals in front of each of us. We took our first bites in total silence.

  “If I stay with Aunt Ira and Tiffany, the traffic back to Fairfield is horrible. Bumper to bumper. I don’t want to be stressed going to school every day.”

  “What about your walks in the park before school?” Mom asked. “You always enjoyed the river and being out in nature before school started.”

  She just didn’t understand. “That was our special thing, but you stopped going. This semester I had to do it by myself. It was all that was left that was normal, except I had to do it without you.”

  Mom lowered her head. “I’m sorry I abandoned you. I just couldn’t be there for you.” Her voice was barely above a whisper.

  “I’m not blaming you for anything,” I said. “Being in the park and getting to know the people there caused me to rethink my life. They made me think about what I wanted out of life.”

 
“Kitten, what do you want?” Dad asked.

  “I want to experience life, all facets of it.”

  “If you go to Lincoln Prep, you’ll only know Tiffany.”

  “I met her friends, plus Mrs. Stevens will be there. She’s my mentor. She’ll continue to help me and offer advice.”

  “You have it all worked out, don’t you?” said Dad. “This situation just turned our lives inside out. It wasn’t supposed to do that.”

  “I’m not blaming you, Dad. I know you want the best for me. So do I. But I have to start knowing what’s best for me. I’m almost seventeen and will soon be off to college. Shouldn’t I start making some major decisions that will affect my life?”

  “Yes, dear, I understand,” Mom said, taking my hand across the table.

  I looked at Dad. “I just need to find out who I am.”

  “You are my daughter and your mother’s daughter,” he said. “You held your head up high through all of the media attention. You’re a strong young woman, and I’m proud of you. You didn’t fall apart during this ordeal.

  “You’re thinking about your future. That’s a good thing. The only reason you want to go to Lincoln Prep is because your Mom and I won’t be here.”

  “I want to get to know my family better,” I said.

  “I know,” said Mom. “It’s OK. We’ll make it work.”

  I hadn’t realized we had been in the restaurant all evening. We were one of the last two tables occupied. Dad left a huge tip to compensate for tying up the table.

  The cool air embraced us as we strolled around the Plaza looking in shop windows, pointing out items of interest. Most of all we were quiet, each occupied with our own thoughts. Mom and Dad were probably wondering what they had done to bring about this turn of events. I didn’t know how to explain my feelings to them. I hoped they understood. They were going to Atlanta to start anew. They didn’t understand that I needed a new start, too, but at a place of my choosing.

  I walked on a bit ahead of Mom and Dad.

  I heard her say, “Maybe we can get our marriage back on track in Atlanta.”