Dare to Dance

by S. B. Alexander

  She rubbed my neck. “We’re here for you, honey. You’re not in this alone.” She sniffled.

  “I disappointed you and Dad.”

  “Shhh,” she whispered.

  A hand landed on my back. “Kross,” Dad said, his voice breaking apart like my heart.

  I let go of Mom as the tears flowed. She held my hand, soft to hard, mom to son.

  Dad blinked a couple of times as confusion, hurt, and disappointment played across the hard planes of his face like a slideshow. “Why are we just finding out about this? Where have the child and the mother been for four years?”

  Kelton shoved his hands in his jeans pockets as he sidled up next to the three of us, standing close to the fire. He nodded at me as though he was my lawyer, giving me permission to speak.

  Telling my parents about Raven was hard. Telling them about Ruby and her situation only made my insides queasier. I wasn’t sure why. “Ruby is homeless. Well, technically, not anymore. She’s living with a friend.”

  Mom squeezed my hand, and that one gesture said, “I’m here for you” made me shed more tears.

  Dad sighed heavily.

  “And the child?” Mom asked.

  I grabbed fistfuls of my hair with both hands. The trees’ branches rustled together. Embers spat up again from the fire.

  Kelton clamped a hand on my shoulder. “Breathe.”

  I was trying to, but I couldn’t get enough air in to slow my pulse. “Raven lives with a foster family.”

  “Raven. It’s a little girl?” Mom pressed dainty fingers to her lips, her blue eyes swimming with love, excitement, and joy. I wasn’t too surprised at her reaction. After my sister died, my parents had tried for another child. My mom had desperately wanted another little girl.

  Dad scratched his unshaven jaw. “Homeless, foster family, what else?”

  “According to Ruby’s social worker, I need to get a lawyer and take a paternity test to prove I’m the father so that I can get her out of foster care.”

  Dad pressed his lips into a thin line. “Do you know for sure that you’re the father?”

  I briefly glanced at Kelton. Not that I was looking for his approval. It was just a habit we had as brothers when we were in a pickle with our parents. My brother didn’t exactly speak for me, but his presence was enough to give me the courage to face my dad. “I believe Ruby. Plus, Raven’s the spitting image of Mom. She has jet-black hair, dark-blue eyes, and like me, she has one dimple.”

  Tears ran down Mom’s rosy cheeks.

  A light chuckled escaped me as I eyed Kelton. “She’s beautiful. She loves ducks, swans, even lizards.”

  One side of my brother’s mouth tweaked upward. “Seriously?”

  Silence mingled with the snap and crackle of the fire.

  Mom grasped Dad’s hand. “Martin, we have a granddaughter.”

  My dad’s rigid posture softened as he brought a hand up to Mom’s cheek. “One step at a time, sweetheart.”

  “Dad’s right,” I said. “I need to get that paternity test done.”

  “I’ll speak with Mr. Davenport on Monday,” Kelton said. “Since Raven is a ward of the state, we’ll need to petition the family court.”

  “Can I get a paternity test done next week?” I asked.

  “I can’t answer that. We’ll do our best to push things through,” Kelton said.

  “Ruby’s social worker told me to call her with any questions,” I added. “So I’ll reach out to her on Monday.” I also wanted to ask her if I could spend some time alone with Raven.

  Dad scrubbed a hand down his face. “Kross, I’m not going to lie. I’m extremely disappointed. But I can’t change what happened. The only thing your mom and I can do is support you.”

  I hated myself for disappointing my father. But my pulse slowed for the first time in two weeks. At least, for the moment.

  “Honey,” Mom said. “Do you love Ruby?”

  Kelton let out a chuckle. “Kade said he’s smitten with Ruby.”

  To say I was in love with Ruby… I wasn’t sure. I had a growing desire to run my fingers through her auburn hair and kiss her lights out. Maybe then I would know for sure.

  “Mom, back in high school, when Ruby told me she loved me, I wasn’t in the same place. Now, I don’t know. She’s beautiful. She’s tough. Yet shy. She stirs things in me I’ve never felt with another woman. I haven’t even kissed her yet.” Fuck, I’m dying to, though.

  “That sounds familiar.” Dad smiled at Mom. Then he gave me a pointed look. “Boxing may not be the job to support a family.”

  Boom. Reality begins.

  I chewed the inside of my cheek. “I’ll do whatever it takes.” I would work five jobs if I had to, although if I signed with Gail Freeman, I could have my future set. In the meantime, I had money saved from my previous bouts, and Jay paid me well to train clients. I could find a small apartment for Ruby and Raven.

  A cold hard wind blew.

  “Let’s put out the fire and get some dinner,” Dad said.

  Kelton grabbed a small pail of sand that we always had ready when we built a campfire.

  Dad pulled me in for a hug. “I love you, son. I know you’ll be the best damn father.”

  Doubt niggled in the back of my psyche. I didn’t even know where to begin to be a father or how to gain the patience to be one.

  “When can we meet Ruby and Raven?” Mom asked.

  As we broke apart, Dad and I exchanged a not-so-surprised look. We both knew Mom wanted to spoil Raven.

  “Sweetheart,” Dad said. “Let’s make sure Kross is the father.”

  Great idea. I didn’t want Mom getting attached if Raven wouldn’t be in our lives.

  “Then Ruby,” Mom said. “Invite her to dinner tomorrow.”

  I’d left Ruby with my cold attitude. She probably thought I didn’t want anything to do with her or Raven. I had to make sure she knew that wasn’t the case. “I’m not sure she’s ready.” But maybe now that I’d met Raven and the truth was out on the table, Ruby would reconsider meeting my parents.

  18

  Ruby

  The yellowed, weathered colonial home stuck out like the bad stepchild among the other houses on the street. The black shutters were chipped at the corners. Overgrown bushes hid the quaint wooden porch where I used to sit on warm, balmy summer days. My mom had even sat with me, crocheting as we rocked in the handmade chairs my dad had made, talking about school, boys, ballet, and the future. So many dreams had shattered in one night as the world came to a screeching halt with one knock, one piece of paper, and a team of detectives. They’d stormed in with a warrant, tearing our memories from drawers, walls, and closets, while my mom and I watched in abject horror.

  I’d wanted to believe my father was innocent and hadn’t done anything to jeopardize our lives. But it was hard when pictures and surveillance had told the whole story. At first, anger and shame at what my father had done became a staple inside me. But as my own life had taken a turn for the worse, I began to realize that my dad had gone to great lengths to provide for his family when he’d lost his office job because of downsizing. It was ironic how my own life mirrored his. I wasn’t selling drugs, but I would do just about anything to get Raven out of foster care, including make a deal with Trent. I didn’t know the specifics yet. He’d said he would be in touch. But I filed away Trent and his deal when I boarded the bus. I wanted a reprieve from my life in the city.

  The For Sale sign leaned, touching the tips of the weeds and dying grass.

  “Ruby?” A male voice called my name, pulling me from shattered memories.

  Nick Mendoza, who’d once been my friend, sauntered through the bushes that separated our properties, pushing his blond wavy hair from his light-brown eyes.

  “Nick, is that you?” The boy I’d hung out with late at night on my porch was no longer a boy, but a good-looking man. Up close, he was even prettier. He had clear, smooth skin, an angular jaw, bright-white teeth, and nice lips. “What happened to y
our pimples?”

  He rumbled out a hearty laugh. “I see you still know how to win a guy over. I also see you’ve turned into a knockout.”

  I dropped my gaze to the dead grass. “Hardly.” If he’d seen me a month ago, he wouldn’t have complimented me.

  He chuckled lightly. “Still shy, too.”

  My mom had sold the house not long after my dad was carted off to jail. “Do you know why the house is vacant?”

  “After you moved, the house was sold to a young couple, who got foreclosed on about six months ago. According to my mom, the market sucks. So, my sister, Tasha, gave that Kross Maxwell dude my number. He called me a few weeks back. I’m sorry, but I told him that you’d been pregnant. Did he ever find you?”

  I bobbed my head. “Yeah. The neighborhood hasn’t changed much.” Today was one day I didn’t want to think about Kross.

  I’d been stupid not to listen to Ms. Waters. I should’ve told him way before yesterday. I should’ve prepared him. Every time I had thought about telling him, I’d gotten cold feet. In truth, I wanted him to see Raven first. I believed in the cliché that seeing is believing. That way, he couldn’t have exactly denied the resemblance. I was probably scum to him. “He needs time,” both Norma and Ms. Waters had said. Maybe so, but hurt still wormed its way into my chest.

  Nick dangled his car keys in his hand. “What brings you up here anyway?”

  A gravesite. Solace. Fresh country air. Memory lane.

  An engine rumbled, drawing our attention to the quiet street.

  “I should get going, anyway. I just wanted to see the old house.” I’d taken the bus up here that morning, and I had a return ticket for later in the afternoon.

  A silver truck slowed, turned toward us before stopping at the edge of the driveway. The windows were tinted, or maybe the overcast day prevented us from seeing in.

  Nick whistled. “Sweet ride. A friend of yours?”

  I didn’t have any friends who drove shiny trucks. Inch by inch, the window rolled down, revealing the one person whose presence always coaxed a slew of tingles and butterflies from me. A waft of his spicy cologne drifted out, causing a blazing heat to trail up and pinch my cheeks.

  Kross plastered on a knowing smirk as though I had a sign on my forehead that read, “Kross Maxwell gets me hot and bothered.”

  The word “asshat” sat on the tip of my tongue. I would’ve said it out loud if it weren’t for the way his blue gaze undressed me, making my brain shut down.

  Nick shuffled over to Kross and stuck out his hand. “I’m Nick.”

  “Kross Maxwell.”

  Nick closed his fist as he touched his mouth. “No way. I guess you found Ruby.”

  Kross flicked his head to one side. “I guess I did.”

  “Nice seeing you again, Ruby,” Nick said. “I’ve got to run.” He dashed off the same way he’d come.

  “Get in,” Kross said in his bossy tone.

  “Pfft. If you came all this way to be possessive, then go home.”

  His eyes softened like quicksand and so did his voice. “I came all this way to finish our conversation from yesterday.”

  I smiled slowly, tucking my cold hands into the pockets of my wool coat. “How did you know I was here, anyway?”

  “I didn’t exactly. I caught Norma before she left for the bus station. She said you were headed up to the Berkshires. This was my first stop.”

  Norma was one reason I was taking a trip down memory lane. We’d had a deal. I would come clean with Kross about Raven, and she would make an effort to visit her parents after seven years. She decided that Thanksgiving would be a good time to catch them at home. I didn’t want to hang around the city alone, so I decided to visit Riley’s grave. Nevertheless, I hadn’t figured that Kross would search for me on Thanksgiving. After all, he’d wanted to spend the day with his family.

  “Although, she thought you might’ve made a stop to see your mom,” Kross said. “If you haven’t, I can take you.”

  My plan had been to visit my mother until I’d spoken to her yesterday. She’d asked me to come on another day since she had a bad case of the flu. She didn’t want me to get sick. So, we had talked. It had been good to tell her that Kross had found me, and that I’d told him about Raven. She’d been pleased and said, “He’ll be good for Raven.” After seeing how he had interacted with Raven even for those few minutes, I agreed with my mom.

  I fidgeted under his gaze. “What about your family and Thanksgiving?”

  “You are my family,” he said easily.

  My eyebrows flew into my hairline. I’d been praying all night that Kross would accept Raven. It was hard to miss how affected he’d been when he laid eyes on her. I had never pegged Kross for a crier or a man with deep emotions. The Kross I knew was strong and rough around the edges. The deep heartfelt emotions he’d displayed with Raven blew me away.

  I sank my teeth into my bottom lip. I was his family. Could’ve fooled me by the way he’d abruptly left yesterday. “Raven is your family. Not me. We’re not playing house because we have a child.” In no way was I living with someone who didn’t have feelings for me.

  He groaned, shifted the truck into park, and stormed out like a man possessed. His jaw flexed as he stalked up to me, reached out as though he wanted to touch me, then lowered his hands. He puffed out air as fury swirled like a storm at sea in those blue eyes. He paced back one step, glared at me, then drove a hand through his unkempt hair.

  Kross had always been on edge when he was at the academy. Back then, I figured his impatience stemmed from his family troubles. His brothers had similar traits as they had acted out in class. Then again, we’d been teenagers with raging hormones and mood swings.

  I scanned the neighborhood out of habit. After the cops had raided our home that night, the neighbors had all but shunned us or looked at us as though my mom and I were criminals.

  Kross leaned against his truck, all six feet of imposing muscle, sizing me up. Again, I fidgeted under his scrutiny. I always had with him. He emitted a dark and dangerous aura that seemed to seep into my pores, weakening my knees.

  He crossed one ankle over the other. The storm that brewed in his gaze calmed. “Since Raven is our daughter, that makes you family in my book.”

  I stuck out my chin. “Kross, just because we have a daughter doesn’t mean you have to take care of me. Actually, I don’t want you to be my superman.” In part, it was the truth. I had to get on my own two feet and build something for myself.

  Pushing off his truck, he walked up to me. Then he gently grasped my elbows before pressing his forehead to mine. He inhaled as though he was trying to suck my energy into him. “What if I want to be your superman?”

  I gave him a half smile. “It’s sweet.” So sweet my heart was breaking. I’d traveled one bad road after another. The only good in my life was Raven. She was my shining star. I wanted my daughter to see her mom succeed, not because a man swept me off my feet, but because I worked my ass off to better myself and showed her to do the same as she grew older. My mom had made the mistake of allowing a man to take care of her, and she did have regrets. I wasn’t saying that a man couldn’t sweep me off my feet for love. I just didn’t want anyone to feel obligated to take care of me because of a child.

  I touched Kross’s warm cheek. “You need to focus on taking care of Raven. We both do. We both need to show her that we love her.”

  “Even though we both get butterflies around each other. That doesn’t mean anything to you?”

  “Ruby Lewis,” A squeaky voice said my name from somewhere to my left.

  Kross tensed as he let go of me. “Tasha.”

  “Nick said you were out here with Kross.” She bounced up with her ponytail swinging high on her head. “Hi, Kross. How’s Kody?”

  I raised an eyebrow at him.

  “Tasha was the one to tell me you’d been pregnant.”

  Figured. Tasha had always been a gossip girl like her mother.

  Her ch
in dipped to her chest before she looked at me. “I see you two found each other. Anyway, my mom is basting the turkey. She wants to know if you would like to come in and stay for dinner.”

  “Thanks for the offer,” Kross said. “But Ruby and I have plans.”

  Tasha wrapped her long bangs behind her ear. “So, is your brother seeing anyone?”

  “He is. Sorry, but we’re late.” Kross bounded around the truck to the passenger door. “Come on, Ruby.”

  I waved at Tasha. “Nice to see you. Say hi to your mom.” Awkwardness came to mind when I thought of how dinner would have gone with the Mendoza family. Too many questions that I wouldn’t have been prepared to answer, especially the one that Mrs. Mendoza would no doubt have asked. “How’s your mom?” I shouldn’t have cared about gossip since I didn’t live there anymore. I wasn’t moving back, but my mom had friends there. If she ever decided to return, I didn’t want to taint her relationships with her friends.

  I hopped in, and Kross clicked the door shut before he flew around the truck then into the driver’s seat. He threw the truck in gear and sped down the road, leaving Tasha on the curb with her mouth open.

  I giggled when he slowed at a stop sign.

  “She kept drooling for Kody that day we were up here,” Kross said on a sigh. “Are you hungry?”

  “Starving.” For more than food.

  “The other day you said you wanted to show me something in the Berkshires. How about after we eat, you show me?”

  I was here to visit Riley’s grave, and if he was going to be part of my life, then he needed to know everything, regardless of how that would affect our relationship.

  I nodded as I listened to a raspy singer belt out a song that gave me goose bumps. Or maybe the goose bumps were because Kross was offering me his hand, palm up, on the console. I hesitated for a split second, afraid that the moment we locked hands was the moment I would fall deeper for him. That alone scared me more than living on the streets.