by Sandi Lynn
He stuck his hand in the bag and pulled out his M&M’s.
“For me?”
“Of course. We’re going to need to snack while we wait.”
“Great idea. Shall we?” He held out his hand.
“We shall.” I placed my hand in his and we walked upstairs.
I dumped the bag on the bathroom counter. Wes and I began opening the boxes, and I carefully read the directions for each one.
“They’re all the same,” I spoke. “So just hand them to me one by one, I’ll pee on the stick and then you line them up in a row. Let your OCD shine.” I smirked.
“Do you have enough pee in you to do all these?”
“I’ve been holding it for a long time. Trust me, I have more than enough.”
I took down my pants and sat on the toilet.
“Are you ready?” he asked as he held the first stick in front of me.
“I’m ready.” I took in a deep breath.
We were like an assembly line. Stick, pee, return. Stick, pee, return. Stick. Pee. Return. When I was finished, I got up, washed my hands, grabbed my Hershey bar, and Wes and I walked out of the bathroom and took a seat on the edge of the bed.
“Three minutes for each of them. So let’s set the timer for five minutes because we have to give the last couple ones I did time to cook.” I grinned.
“Okay. Setting the timer for five minutes,” he spoke.
We sat there together. Wes shook some M&M’s in his hand and popped them into his mouth while I broke off three squares of chocolate and ate them.
“Want some?” he asked as he tilted the bag towards me.
“No. Thanks. Want some Hershey’s?” I asked as I tilted the candy bar to him.
“Nah. I’m good.”
Five minutes was nothing, but to us, it was the longest five minutes of our lives. If I was pregnant, it wasn’t planned. We talked about waiting a year or two after we were married to start trying. But we didn’t care. We were happy and prayed that the results were positive. The timer went off on his phone, and after he shut it off, he took hold of my hand and brought it up to his lips.
“If you’re not. It’s okay,” he softly spoke.
“I know. We still have plenty of time. It’s not like it was planned or anything.”
“I totally agree, sweetheart. Are you ready?”
“I am.” I took in a deep breath.
As he still was holding my hand, we both got up and slowly walked to the bathroom, both of us stopping in the doorway. We stood and stared at the line of sticks from afar for a moment before walking up to the counter and viewing the results.
“They’re all positive, Anna,” Wes said with excitement in his voice.
“I’m pregnant!” I grinned.
“Wait, what does this one mean? It says 3+.”
“That’s the week indicator one. I must be three weeks or more.”
We turned to each other and Wes placed his hands on each side of my face.
“We’re having a baby.” The corners of his mouth curved upwards.
“We’re having a baby.” I smiled brightly as our lips met and we shared a long passionate kiss.
“I have to tell Franco. Like, right now,” I said.
“Call him up and invite him over for dinner. I have a plan on how we can tell him.”
We walked out of the bathroom and I grabbed my phone and dialed his number.
“Hello, lovely.”
“Hi, Franco. Wes and I want you to come over for dinner tonight if you’re available.”
“Dinner? How fun. You’re lucky you caught me on a night that I’m not doing anything. Actually, even if I was, you know I’d cancel to spend the evening with the two of you. What time?”
“How about an hour?”
“Perfect. Tell Wes I just made a fresh cheesecake that I’ll bring.”
“You know, Franco. I’ve been thinking about this lately. You started making those cheesecakes for me and now you’re making them for Wes?”
“I’m sensing some juju jealousy coming from you, Anna Banana.”
“Just bring the cheesecake and get your ass over here. I’m hungry.”
“Did I hear he made me a cheesecake?” Wes grinned.
“Yes. He made you a cheesecake.” I rolled my eyes.
He wrapped his arm around me and we fell onto the bed.
“We have some time to celebrate privately.” He grinned.
“Then let’s celebrate.”
After we celebrated the news of my pregnancy with amazing sex, Wes and I got dressed and went down to the kitchen.
“There’s no time to cook,” I said. “We better just order in something.”
“Thai?” he asked.
“Sounds good. You already what Franco likes.”
“I’ll go place the order now.”
A few moments later, I heard a ding and Franco’s voice as he stepped off the elevator.
“Hello, Carter fam. I’ve arrived, and I brought some goodies.”
Wes and Franco walked into the kitchen together.
“Hello, sugar plum.” Franco smiled as he kissed my cheek.
“Hi.” I grinned. “I ran out of time to cook, so we’re ordering Thai.”
“Thai sounds fabulous.”
“Thanks again for the cheesecake, Franco.” Wes smiled as he held it up before putting it in the refrigerator.
“Anything for you, Mr. Carter.”
I narrowed my eye at both of them.
“Oh stop.” Franco patted my arm. “So when’s the food going to be here? This man is famished.”
“It should be here in about fifteen minutes. Can I get you a drink, Franco?” Wes asked.
“I’ll take a nice glass of Chardonnay.”
“Anna?” Wes asked as he winked at me.
“I’ll wait until the food gets here. Franco, is there any way you can fix my pants? The zipper broke today when I was zipping them up.”
“Of course. Let me look at them. Are they down here?”
“Actually, they’re in the master bathroom. Can you just run up and get them while I set the table?”
“Sure thing. I’ll be right back.”
If there was one thing I knew about Franco, it was his scream when he was overly excited. Wes stood next to me and placed his arm around my waist as we stood there and patiently waited for it. And there it was. Wes turned to me and we both smiled. Within seconds, he came flying down the stairs and stopped in the entrance of the kitchen.
“We’re having a baby!” he screamed as he jumped up and down and clapped his hands.
“YES! We’re having a baby!”
“Oh my god. I can’t believe it.”
He walked over and wrapped his arms around both of us, pulling us into a group hug.
“I’m so happy for the both of you,” he spoke.
Chapter 36
Anna
Wes went with me to my first doctor’s appointment to confirm that I was indeed pregnant. Six weeks to be exact. We were both so over the moon with excitement, but there was a part of me that still harbored a fear, so I made an appointment with Dr. Stark.
“That’s wonderful news, Anna. Congratulations.”
“Thank you, Dr. Stark. Wes and I are so happy, but—”
“But you’re nervous about what’s going to happen after the pregnancy?”
“Yes.”
“Anna, you’re a young healthy woman and you’re glowing. Worrying about it isn’t going to help you or the baby. It’s only going to stress you both out. Here’s what I want you to start doing. I want you to take fifteen minutes every day and meditate. Clear your mind and your thoughts. I have some great meditation practices I can give you. Also, I want you to practice Kundalini yoga at least three times a week. You can take a class or hire a private instructor. I promise you that if you do those two things and you start now, you will have nothing to worry about.”
“Thanks, Dr. Stark. I will definitely start both of them immediately.”
Wes
The months went by and Anna was already six months pregnant. Her belly grew every day and she looked even more beautiful now than she did when I first laid eyes on her. When she had her ultrasound, we found out we were having a girl. To be honest, I didn’t care what sex the baby was as long as it was healthy. But when I heard those words “you’re having a girl,” I felt a tug in my heart. We started working on the nursery. Anna suggested we decorate in a Paris theme because that was where we met, and Paris would always hold a special meaning in our lives.
I climbed into bed next to Anna, who was reading What to Expect When You’re Expecting. I pulled the covers back that covered her, lifted up her nightshirt, and firmly placed my lips against her belly.
“Hello, baby girl. How was your day?”
“What are you doing?” Anna laughed.
“What’s that?” I placed my ear against her belly. “Your mommy ate the last piece of cheesecake?”
“Oh my god, stop it!” She ran her fingers through my hair.
I let out a chuckle as I pulled her nightshirt down and reached up and kissed her lips.
“I love us.” I smiled.
“I love us too.”
Anna
I was thirty-seven weeks pregnant and more than ready to have this kid. Everything was set and now all we needed was her to come into the world. About a month ago, Franco threw us the most amazing and elegant baby shower. Wes and I were blown away at the generosity of our family and friends.
As I was climbing out of bed, I stopped and placed my hand on my belly.
“Are you okay, Anna?” Wes asked as he stepped out from the bathroom.
“Yeah. Just those damn Braxton Hicks. I’m fine.”
“Maybe you should stay home and rest.”
“I’m fine, Wes. I have work to do at the shop.”
“Maybe you should stop working now until after the baby is born.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t have said such a silly thing.” I narrowed my eye at him.
“Right. Go to work, Anna. Just don’t work too hard.” He walked over and kissed my head.
“Thank you, and I won’t.”
As I was in the bathroom putting my makeup on, Wes walked up behind me and planted his hands on my belly.
“I have to go.” He softly kissed my neck.
“Have a good day.” I reached back and placed my hand behind his head.
He turned me around, bent down, and kissed our baby goodbye.
“Now don’t give your mommy any trouble today. I can tell she’s tired because you were kicking her all night.”
“I swear this kid is going to be a kickboxer or something. She’s strong.”
“She’s like her mom.” He smiled as he stood up and kissed me goodbye.
Chapter 37
Anna
I waddled into the shop and the first thing I did was take a chocolate cupcake and eat it.
“Breakfast?” Francine smiled.
“Actually, I had oatmeal before I came in. So I’m considering this a mid-morning snack.”
I went into my office to look over some reports. The shop was doing phenomenal, and in our first year, we made a big profit. I knew this business would do well, and now Wes was regretting he didn’t invest himself. I finished up what I had to do and decided to go see if they needed any help up front. I was standing behind the counter, when the door opened. I looked up and my eyes met with the same eyes staring back at me. I froze and my heart started racing.
“Anna?” The woman’s soft voice spoke as she placed her hand over her mouth.
If I ran, I’d look like an idiot. Plus, I was thirty-seven weeks pregnant. Running wasn’t possible.
“Carla,” I spoke.
She was with a man I presumed was her husband. Panic started to soar through me, but I remembered my breathing and quickly tried to calm myself down. Her husband grasped her shoulders when he heard my name. God, what I wouldn’t give for Wes to be here.
“How are you?” she cautiously asked as she approached the counter.
“I’m great. I’m pregnant.” I placed my hands on my belly.
“I can see that.” She smiled. “You look like you’re due very soon.”
“In about two and a half weeks. What are you doing here in New York?” I asked.
“We’re looking at places to live. We may move here.”
Shit. Shit. Shit.
“I didn’t know you lived here. Aren’t you working for your father anymore?”
“No. Things weren’t working out.”
“I’m sorry to hear that. You’re working here?” she asked with confusion as she looked around.
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
“Actually, I own it.”
“Wow. That’s wonderful. We heard amazing things about this place and had to come check it out for ourselves. Little did I know that my daughter owned it.” She smiled.
“Hi, Anna, I’m Paul. It’s finally nice to meet you,” her husband spoke as he extended his hand.
“Hi, Paul. It’s nice to meet you.”
I hated them. I wished they leave.
“Wow, look at you. I can’t believe I’m going to be a grandma.”
The fuck you are.
I gave her a small fake smile.
“Are you married?” she asked.
Like she couldn’t tell from the rock on my finger. Oh, that’s right, I wasn’t wearing it because my fingers were so swollen.
“Yes. I’m married to a wonderful man.”
“I would love to talk to you, Anna. Is there any way we could do that?”
She was the last person I wanted to talk to. But all I could hear in my head was Dr. Stark’s voice telling me that I needed closure with my mother and the only way to get that closure and be free from the hate and anger I harbored my entire life was to talk to her. I just didn’t think the time would be now. If I rejected her, I’d only be screwing up my therapy. Plus, I was happy and in a better place now than I had been my whole life. I could handle her and a conversation. No problem.
“I guess so,” I said.
“Why don’t the two of you do it now?” Paul smiled. “Go grab some lunch. I’ll head back to the hotel for a while.”
“Is now okay with you?” she asked.
“I guess now is as good a time as any.”
I wasn’t sure a restaurant setting would be such a good place and it was a beautiful warm sunny day out, so I suggested we go talk in Central Park and grab a couple hot dogs. I couldn’t help but stare at her. She looked a lot healthier than the last time I saw her. We had the same eyes and the same smile.
“What happened between you and your father?” she asked.
“You mean the father that never loved me? The father who sent me all the way across the country to boarding school so he didn’t have to deal with me? The same father who disowned me and fired me from the family company because I didn’t want to marry the man he thought I should?”
She slowly closed her eyes.
“Anna, I’m so sorry.”
We took a seat on one of the benches in Central Park.
“You should be,” I spoke in a harsh tone. “And now that you’re here and we’re talking after all these years, I want the answer to the question I had ever since I was five years old. Why? Why didn’t you get the help you needed after I was born? How could you just abandon your child? Your flesh and blood? The person you carried inside you for nine months?”
“I can’t answer that because I don’t know. I did see a doctor once. Your father forced me to and he put me on medication, but the medication made me worse. My depression deepened and I felt like everything was hopeless. Your father grew angrier with me every day. You were constantly trying to get my attention and I was so absorbed in my own head and dark world that I was afraid of what I might do to you.” She pulled up her sleeves and turned her wrists over where scars lay on her skin.
“I couldn’t do it anymore. I felt like such a
failure to you and your father and I didn’t know how to help myself, so I tried to take my own life. Do you remember?”
I sat there, thinking as hard as I could.
“I was five years old and I remember Dad screaming at the nanny to get me out of the house and take me away until he called her. I never knew what happened that night. It was never talked about, and when the nanny brought me home, you were gone.”
“Your father had me committed to a psychiatric hospital. While I was in there, he filed for divorce. I was granted supervised visitations, and I was ridden with guilt. That’s why I didn’t show some of the time. But when I finally worked up the courage to come see you and I looked into your eyes, I saw your hatred towards me. You knew I abandoned you and you weren’t having any part of it. That’s when I knew you’d grow up to be a strong independent woman with a strong will and mind. After that, I stayed away because I knew that was what was best for you. I don’t blame you, Anna, for hating me. I hate myself too for what I’d done. After a few years and being on medication, I met Paul and he wanted children. I talked about you all the time and he was the one who convinced me to go see you in Connecticut. When I contacted your father to tell him I wanted to see you, he told me he sent you away. My heart broke and I needed to make sure you were okay. But, when I got there, you refused to see me.”
“I couldn’t see you. I hated you,” I spoke.
“And rightfully so.”
“The only reason I’m talking to you now is because my therapist told me that I needed closure with you.”
“You’re in therapy?” she asked.
“Not so much now, but I was, because I almost lost my husband.”
“Why?”
“Because I told him I was never having children. That’s what you and Dad did to me!”
“Anna,” she softly spoke as tears filled her eyes.
“So I went to therapy for my lifelong issues and he helped me realize some things. He helped me realize that I’m not you and that I’ll never be you.”
“I want you to know that I never once stopping loving you or thinking about you. My two children know about you and they know what I did. I talk about you all the time.”