by Sandi Lynn
“Fuck, Emily. Just fuck.” I smiled as I tried to calm my racing heart.
“I told you we didn’t have to get out.” A grin crossed her beautiful lips.
While I was sitting at my desk, my phone rang, and it was my father.
“Hello.”
“Son, what the hell were you thinking?”
“What are you talking about, Dad?”
“I spoke with Leon and he told me he sold you two buildings over on East 9th. He said you bought them for some girl and paid two million dollars for them.”
“Yes. I did. But I didn’t buy them for Emily. I bought them for an investment.”
“What investment would that be, son? Two million for those buildings is outrageous.”
“No, Dad. What’s outrageous is you getting divorced for the fifth time. This is my company now and I’ll run it how I see fit.”
“Watch your mouth, boy.”
“Are we finished here? I have business to get back to.”
“We’ll discuss this further when I come back.”
Rolling my eyes, I ended the call and threw my phone across my desk. Leaning back in my chair, I brought my hands up to my chin.
“You look deep in thought,” Samuel spoke as he strolled in.
“Just got off the phone with my father. He ripped me a new one for buying the buildings on East 9th.”
“If you want my honest opinion, it was kind of a stupid deal on your part. But I sort of understand why you did it. You can keep calling it an investment, but I know you did it for Emily. And you know why you did it for her? Because you love her.”
“Shut the fuck up. I do not. She’s a friend who wanted to expand and I could make that happen. If it was you, I would have done the same thing and you fucking know it.” I pointed my finger at him.
“Whatever, bro. Keep denying it. I’ve been in love a couple of times and I know the signs. Anyway, I’m heading over to the Preston property. Are you coming?”
“No. Take Elie with you, get the numbers, and report back.”
“Okay.” He walked out of my office.
I was feeling stressed, so I grabbed a cab and headed over to Emily’s shop to see the new espresso bar that was finally finished. When I walked through the door, I saw her standing by the back room in an embrace with another man. A younger man. I swallowed hard as I watched the smile on her face grow when he kissed her cheek. An anger ripped through me and it took everything I had not to go and rip his face off. His hand rubbed her arm and her body language told me that she enjoyed it. I turned and walked out of the shop before I did something I would regret. This feeling inside me was something I couldn’t control, and it was making me crazy. I went to the shop to see her because my day sucked, and I knew she could change that. Obviously, I was wrong. We were supposed to see each other tonight, but now, I didn’t want to see her. I was afraid of what I might say if I did.
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I sent her a text message.
“We aren’t going to be able to see each other tonight. Something came up at the office and I need to stay to deal with it and I don’t know how long it’s going to take.”
I waited for those three little dots to appear to let me know she was typing. They didn’t. She was probably still flirting with that guy and too busy to look at her phone. Was this a complication? It sure the hell was, and I didn’t like it one bit.
Chapter 32
Emily
Seeing Jake again was the highlight of my day. I hadn’t seen him since Parsons, when he dropped out and moved to Italy to study fashion, and now he was back in New York to stay after scoring an editorial position at Cosmopolitan magazine.
Grabbing my phone from the counter, I looked at it and saw Jackson’s text message. It seemed cold and flat. Like he was pissed off.
“Okay. I understand. Are you okay?”
I waited a few minutes for a response, but one never came. Maybe he was in a meeting and he’d text me later.
“What’s wrong?” Katie asked as she walked past me.
“Jackson sent me a text message saying he had to cancel for tonight because something came up at the office.”
“Oh. Then let’s go out. Alex is working late at the firm.”
“Okay. How about a movie? We can go see that new one with Blake Lively.”
“Sounds fun. I’ll check to see what time it starts.” She smiled as she walked away.
The movie ended at eight, and since neither one of us was hungry because of the large popcorn and box of Milk Duds we devoured, we decided to hit up a bar for a couple of drinks before heading home. We entered through the door of The Heights Bar & Grill and found a table along the wall amongst the crowd of people who were also there.
“What can I get you ladies?” the tall redheaded waitress asked.
“I’ll have a frozen watermelon margarita, sugar rim.” I smiled.
“I’ll have the same,” Katie spoke.
“Can I get you an appetizer or something?”
“No. Just the drinks.” I smiled.
“Two frozen sugar-rimmed watermelon margaritas coming right up.” She grinned as she scurried away.
The waitress brought our drinks rather quickly, considering how busy the place was. Katie went to the restroom, so I pulled out my phone from my purse to see if Jackson had answered my text message from earlier and still nothing. Sighing, I set my phone down on the table and took a large sip of my margarita. While I was waiting for Katie to come back to the table, my eyes scanned the room and then froze when I saw Jackson and Samuel sitting up at the bar. My heart started pounding out of my chest. What the fuck!
“Sorry, there was a line,” Katie spoke as she sat down. “What’s wrong?”
“Jackson is here with Samuel,” I spoke in anger.
“Where?” She turned around.
“Up at the bar.”
“I thought something came up at the office?”
“Me too. At least, that’s what he said.” I grew angrier by the second.
“Oh shit. Emily, what are you doing?” she asked as I got up from my seat.
“Going to get some answers.”
I stomped across the floor and over to the bar where Jackson was.
“Hello, Mr. Caine,” I abruptly spoke.
“Emily,” he replied with nervousness. “What are you doing here?”
“The question is, Jackson, what are you doing here? I thought you had to work late because there was a problem at the office?!” I voiced a bit too loudly.
“There was and I took care of it.”
“It’s only eight thirty. You couldn’t have called me?”
“Why would I call you? I already cancelled our date for tonight, and I didn’t see a need to.”
“Because it’s only eight thirty and it’s still early.”
“Sorry, Emily. I don’t know what to say,” he spoke in a rude tone.
“Yeah, well, I know what to say. Fuck you, Jackson!” The words angrily spewed out of my mouth.
I walked back to the table, grabbed my purse, and told Katie we were leaving. She threw some cash down and ran out after me.
“What did he say?”
“Nothing. He had nothing to say.” I held up my hand for a cab.
When one finally pulled up, we climbed inside, and the tears began to fall from my eyes.
“Why the fuck am I crying?”
“Because you’re hurt, Em.” She rubbed my back.
“I don’t cry over guys.” I wiped the tears with my hand.
“You do if you’re in love with them.”
“I’m not in love with him.”
“Then you wouldn’t care, and you wouldn’t be crying.”
The cab pulled up to my apartment building and I told Katie that I wanted to be alone and not to come up. She understood as she hugged me goodbye and the cab pulled away from the curb. After unlocking the door, I changed into my nightshirt and then sat down on the couch, bringing my knees to my chest. I tried to
process what had just happened. The look on his face and the tone of his voice were as if he didn’t care.
“UGH!” I screamed as I jumped up from the couch. What was this I was feeling? I needed to get a grip and get hold of myself. What did I do to make him behave like that towards me? The words my mother told me kept playing over and over like a broken record. “We Wade women do not let others, especially men, control or wreak havoc on our emotional state.”
And that was exactly what I was doing. I was letting him wreak havoc on my emotional state, something I had never let happen before and I didn’t know how to stop it. I climbed into bed around ten p.m. with my laptop and tried to distract myself from how I was feeling by going over today’s sales from the shop.
“Emily, it’s me. Open up!” Jackson pounded on the door.
Jumping out of bed, from fear that my neighbors would call the police, I ran to the door and opened it.
“Are you crazy? Do you want someone to call the cops?”
“May I come in?”
“No.”
“Then I’ll just stand here in the hallway until you talk to me.”
“Jackson.” I sighed. “I’m too tired to deal with this right now.”
“Why are your eyes all puffy and red? Have you been crying?”
“No.”
“Come on, Emily. Just let me in and we can talk about tonight.”
“There’s nothing to talk about. Remember? You don’t know what to say?”
He closed his eyes as he pursed his lips.
“I was angry with you today.”
“For what?”
“If you let me inside, I’ll explain.”
“Fine.” I waved my hand.
He stepped through the door with his hands tucked tightly in his pants pockets and followed me into the living area.
“Tell me what I did that made you angry? Because I haven’t got a clue.”
“Who was that guy you were with earlier?”
“What guy?” I furrowed my brows.
“The one in your shop. I stopped by earlier this afternoon because I wanted to see the espresso bar, and when I walked in, I saw you hugging him and, to top it off, he was running his finger up and down your arm and you seemed to be enjoying it.”
“You mean Jake?” I cocked my head.
“Is that his name?” He narrowed his eye at me, and I didn’t appreciate his tone.
“Jake happens to be a friend of mine. We went to Parsons together and then he dropped out and moved to Italy to study fashion. He just moved back to New York and heard I opened a shop and he came to see me. Oh, and if you must know, he’s gay!” I shouted.
He stood there, looking down, hands still tucked inside his pockets.
“I’m sorry,” he softly spoke, for he knew he fucked up big time.
“You’re sorry for what?” I asked in a commanding tone. “Sorry that you jumped to conclusions? Sorry that you didn’t bother to come see me while you were standing in my shop staring at us? Sorry that you cancelled our date for no fucking reason at all?!!” I shouted. “You, Jackson, broke rule number seven about open communication and honesty!”
He lifted his head and his eyes met mine.
“You can’t possibly understand, Emily, because I don’t understand it myself.”
“Understand what?”
“The feeling I got when I saw you with him. I don’t know why I got so angry, and I’m sorry. I am truly sorry. I didn’t handle the situation well because I had never been confronted with something like that before.”
“Don’t you trust me?”
“Of course I trust you. Like I said, I’m sorry. Can you forgive me?”
I turned my back on him because I didn’t want him to see the tears that formed in my eyes. If he trusted me, he wouldn’t have done what he did, and that hurt. I felt his arms wrap around my waist from behind.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered in my ear.
A part of me wanted to punish him, yet another part of me melted in his arms. He made a mistake. I, for one, am guilty of making plenty in my lifetime.
“Okay. I accept your apology. But what you did, cancelling our date because of what you saw without even talking to me first, was a dick move on your part.”
“I know it was.” His arms tightened around me.
I turned my body until we were in a full embrace; my arms locked around him.
“We just had our first fight.” He kissed the top of my head.
“We did and I didn’t like it.”
“Me either.” His hands planted themselves on each side of my face as his lips brushed tenderly against mine. “Isn’t there something called make-up sex?”
“Yes.” Our lips continued to tangle.
“Then we better get to it.” He smiled as he picked me up and carried me to the bedroom.
Chapter 33
Emily
It had been a week since Jackson and I had our first fight and things were going great. We both agreed to put it behind us and never speak of it again.
Walking into Tavern on the Green, I spotted Crystal sitting in a booth sipping on a cocktail. She smiled and stood up when she saw me walking towards the table.
“Emily, darling. You look fantastic.” She hugged me.
“How are you, Crystal?”
“I’m good. How’s the shop doing?”
“Really well. Thank you.”
I took a seat across from her and ordered a martini.
“I’m going to just come right out and ask you,” I spoke as I placed my napkin in my lap. “And I want the honest to God’s truth.”
She pursed her lips and took in a deep breath as she waited for my question.
“Is Gregory my father?”
She picked up her drink and took a small sip. “Yes. He is your father.”
“How could you keep that from me all these years?”
“Because your mother asked me to, and she was my best friend. She told me that as far as she was concerned, Gregory never existed, and that part of her life was gone. The day she found out he wasn’t coming home from training, she changed. I didn’t think a person could change that much and so quickly. She said that you were the only person in the world who mattered, and she was going to start a new life, in a new place. One where she could make a fresh start and raise you.”
“I don’t understand. If she loved him, she would have waited for him,” I spoke.
“Your mom felt abandoned. Even though she told him she was pregnant before he left, he still wanted to go. He put his dreams before you and her, and she couldn’t handle it. Gregory was her first love and she was so heartbroken that she convinced herself that all men were like him. That if she gave her heart to someone else, they too would leave. She told me that she couldn’t ever love another man because she didn’t want you to experience the abandonment she felt. If things didn’t work out and you grew attached, it would be hard on you. She was trying to protect you, even though I didn’t agree.”
“So you’re saying that I was the reason she never would allow herself to settle down with someone?”
“It was both of you. She was protecting you as well as herself.”
“Why did she lie to me about not knowing who my father was?”
“Because it was too painful to talk about him. Even after all those years that passed, she never got over him. She thought if she told you, then you would ultimately want to find and meet him, and she couldn’t allow that.”
“Why?” I narrowed my eyes.
“Because, Emily,” she placed her hand on mine, “he abandoned you before you were even born and, in her mind, he didn’t deserve to know you.”
I looked up at the ceiling, trying to prevent the tears from falling.
“That was my decision.” I pointed to myself. “She had no right to keep me from knowing my father because he broke her heart. All she had to do was wait for him.”
“Your mother had a lot of issues. Her father left when she was a ch
ild and she watched every day how her mother waited for him to come back and he never did. In her mind, it was history repeating itself with Gregory.”
“But she told me that my grandfather died.”
“That’s what she told everyone. He told her and her mom that he was running to the store to buy a pack of cigarettes and he never came back. A couple of days later, your grandmother found a letter from him in her drawer saying that he wasn’t happy, and he had no choice but to leave. That was why she begged Gregory not to leave. She was trying to protect you from the pain that she had suffered for so many years with the abandonment from her father.”
I swallowed hard because I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. My mother, the person I trusted most in the world, lied to me. After talking for a while longer, I needed some fresh air, so I thanked Crystal for meeting with me and telling me the truth.
Stepping outside, I felt lost. I pulled my phone from my purse and stared at it as I contemplated calling Jackson, but I couldn’t. I didn’t want to need him so much. So I took a cab to the cemetery where my mother was buried and kneeled down before her grave. The clouds were rolling in and the air had become crisp. But it didn’t matter, because I needed to tell her how I felt.
“Mom. I know you had your reasons, but why? Why did you lie to me? All your lectures over the years about happily ever after and relationships were to protect you. You made me believe that nothing good could come from being in a relationship. You made me believe that falling in love with someone was a horrible thing. I trusted you to tell me the truth. That’s what parents are supposed to do.”