by Sandi Lynn
The rain started to fall from the sky as I pounded my fists down on her grave.
“But instead, you told me things that you forced yourself to believe because you couldn’t bear to be hurt again. You may have thought you were protecting me, but you weren’t; you were only setting me up for failure. I’ve met someone and he means the world to me, and because of what you taught me, I signed a fucking contract to be his companion. I’ve never been anyone’s girlfriend because I couldn’t allow myself to be after listening to you all those years. I’ve had sex with multiple men and when they tried to want more of me, I ran just like you did. I played it safe because of everything you put in my head,” I yelled as the rain soaked me. “You molded me into you and I never had the chance to be my own person.”
It felt like a whole new set of emotions flooded through me, as if the rain was cleansing my soul and opening up a part of me that I didn’t know even existed. I wiped the tears and the rain from my face as I stood up and walked away. Instead of hailing a cab, I walked in the rain down the streets of New York until I stumbled upon a coffee house. Making my way inside, I took seat at one of the small square tables by the window.
“Honey, you are soaked. Let me get you a towel,” the older woman with a friendly smile spoke.
A few moments later, she returned.
“Here you go. Dry yourself off. What can I get for you?”
“Thank you. I’ll just have a vanilla latte with almond milk, please.”
“Coming right up, sweetie.”
I dried myself off the best I could, pulled my phone from my purse, and noticed a text message from Jackson.
“How did your lunch go with Crystal?”
It had been two hours since he sent it and I didn’t know whether or not to respond. I wasn’t sure of anything anymore. But I didn’t want him to worry, so I replied.
“It upset me to hear what she had to say and to be honest I’m not sure how I’m feeling.”
“Where are you? Are you back at the shop?”
“No. I’m sitting in a coffeehouse in Brooklyn.”
“Which one?”
I looked up at the menu on the wall.
“Blue Bottle Coffee.”
“I’m on my way. Do not leave there.”
I picked up the white coffee cup and held it between my hands as I sipped it and stared out onto the wet streets of Brooklyn. The rain didn’t seem to want to let up. As I was reflecting on my thoughts, the door to the coffeehouse opened and Jackson stepped inside, closing his umbrella. Walking over to the table, he stood there and looked at me as he tilted his head to the side.
“Were you out playing in the rain?” he asked.
I couldn’t help but let a small smile cross my lips.
“Something like that.”
He took a seat across from me and the waitress flew over immediately.
“You look like you could use a fresh hot cup of coffee.” She smiled.
“That sounds good. Just black.”
“Coming right up.” She winked as she walked away.
Jackson reached over and grabbed hold of my hand, which was resting on the table.
“Give me the run down.”
I inhaled a deep breath as I stared at him.
“Gregory is definitely my father. My mother lied to me not only about him but about my grandfather. In fact, she lied to me about everything. She just couldn’t stick around and wait for Gregory because of her own fears.”
“And Crystal knew this the whole time?”
“Yeah.” I nodded my head. “But my mother made her promise that she would never speak of it.”
“I’m sorry, Emily,” he spoke as his thumb stroked my hand.
“Me too. I went to her grave and pretty much told her off.”
“Do you feel better now?”
“A little.” I lightly smiled.
The corners of his mouth curved upwards. I was happy he was here. In fact, I was happy all the time with him in my life and it felt good. We talked for a while longer and then we climbed into his limo and he drove me home.
“I wish I could stay, but I have a meeting tonight,” he spoke.
“I’m fine, Jackson. Evelyn and Katie are coming over later.”
He leaned over and kissed my lips.
“I’ll call to check up on you after my meeting.”
“Okay.” I smiled.
I was exhausted, so I changed into my sweatpants and a tank top and lay on top of the bed for a nap before my friends came over.
Chapter 34
Jackson
As I was preparing for my meeting, my phone rang, and it was Jules.
“Hey,” I answered.
“Hey. I just got off the phone with Mom and she wants us to come over for dinner on Saturday night. Just the two of us.”
“I’m seeing Emily Saturday night, so no.”
“She needs to talk to us.”
“I don’t care what she needs. I have plans and I’m not cancelling them.”
“Carter and I had plans too. It’s our only night off together this week.”
“Okay. Then the four of us will show, and after we leave there, we’ll go do something.”
“Do you think she’ll mind? She said she only wanted the two of us.”
“I really don’t give a damn if she minds or not. It’s the four of us or nothing. In fact, just tell her we’ll be there but don’t tell her that Emily and Carter are coming.”
“Oh my God. She’ll be mad.” She laughed.
“And? She has spent her whole life making us mad. Maybe it’s our turn now.”
“Brilliant. I’ll give her a call. Talk to you soon.”
Emily
After Katie and Evelyn left, I sat down on the couch and wrapped myself in a blanket. I didn’t know what to do next and I didn’t know how to feel. But the one thing I did know was how much I needed Jackson. Evelyn and Katie told me it was okay to need him as much as I did because he was more to me than just a companion, and no matter how many times I fought myself, at the end of the day, I was in love with him. He completed my life, and now that I knew my mother said all those things only to protect her heart, it all came full circle. Jackson Caine was a man that, for the first time in my life, I loved. Was it scary to admit that? Yes, of course it was, because for so long, I didn’t believe that it was possible for me to love any man. I’d kept myself closely guarded because of the pain I always saw in my mother’s eyes—the pain that resided in her each time she had to let a man walk out of her life. I remembered that night when I was thirteen years old after she ended things with Gerald because he told her that he loved her. The sadness in her eyes when she was sitting on the edge of my bed told me that she was afraid to love him back.
As I was pondering my thoughts, my phone rang, and Jackson was calling.
“Hello,” I softly answered.
“Hi, beautiful. What are you doing right now?”
“Not much. Just sitting on the couch and thinking.”
Suddenly, I heard my door unlock and when it opened, Jackson was standing there with his phone to his ear.
“Mind if I join you?” He smiled.
“Not at all.” I grinned.
He walked over and took a seat next to me, wrapped his arm around me, and pulled me into him.
“How are you doing?” he asked as he kissed the top of my head.
“I’m okay.”
“Just okay?” He pulled back and looked at me.
“Actually, I’m really tired. It’s been a hell of a day.”
“Then let’s go to bed.”
“You’re staying?” I smiled.
“If you want me to stay.”
“I would like that.”
“Then let’s go.” He grinned.
He got up from the couch, took hold of my hand, and led me to the bedroom.
“By the way,” he spoke as I changed into my nightshirt, “Saturday night, we have to go to my mom’s house for a while, then after,
we’re going to go out with Jules and Carter.”
“Why your mom’s house?”
He pulled back the covers and climbed into bed.
“She wants to talk to me and Jules about something.”
“Does she know I’m coming?” I climbed in next to him.
“No, and she doesn’t know Carter is coming either. We won’t be there long.”
“Okay.” I smiled as he hooked his arm around me, and I lay comfortably on his chest.
I ran my hand over the fabric of his underwear, feeling his cock, which started to get hard.
“What are you doing?” he asked. “I thought you were tired.”
“I need sex.” I grinned as I looked up at him.
“You need it, or you want it?” He smirked.
“Actually, I need it. So, if you wouldn’t mind, I would be forever grateful.”
In an instant, I was on my back and he was hovering over me. “It would be my pleasure to fulfill your needs, Miss Wade.”
Jackson
Emily and I climbed into the back of my limo and headed to pick up Carter and Jules. After my mother’s house, we were going to catch a movie, something Emily and I hadn’t done together yet. As Edward pulled up to the curb of my mother’s townhome, Jules grabbed my hand.
“Are you ready for this?” she asked.
“Are either of us ever ready for one of Mother’s talks?”
Carter and Emily laughed as we climbed out of the limo and walked up the steps to the front door. The look on my mother’s face was priceless when she saw Emily and Carter standing there.
“Good evening, Mother,” I spoke as I stepped inside.
“I thought it was just going to be you and your sister?”
“We both had dates tonight and we weren’t about to cancel them for another one of your talks.” I kissed her cheek.
“Hello, Carter.” She smiled as she gave him a hug. “I’m sorry, what was your name again?” she asked as she looked at Emily.
“Emily Wade.”
“Ah yes. That’s right. How could I forget after our engaging conversation at my daughter’s birthday party?”
Rolling my eyes, I walked to the living room, where a fire was roaring in the fireplace.
“Well, we’re here. What did you want to talk to us about?” I asked with the hopes that she’d make it quick so we could get on with our dates.
“Have a seat. Clarisse will be bringing out the appetizers,” she spoke.
“Would you like some wine, Emily?” I asked.
“Maybe something a little stronger would be better.” She bit down on her bottom lip.
“Good idea.” I winked.
After pouring two glasses of scotch, I handed Emily hers while Carter poured a glass of wine for Jules. Just as we took our seats, I stiffened when I heard my father’s voice.
“Hello, my lovely children.” He walked into the room with a smile.
“Daddy!” Jules jumped up from the couch and gave him a hug.
“Dad.” I held up my glass.
“Son.” He nodded. “Hello, Carter. And who is this lovely young lady?” he asked as he walked over to Emily and held out his hand.
“That’s Emily. She’s a friend of mine,” I spoke.
“Just a friend?” His brow arched.
“Yes, Dad, just a friend. What are you doing here?” I asked as I was feeling uncomfortable being in the same room with the two of them.
My mother got up from the couch and walked over to him.
“Your mother and I have something to tell you,” my father spoke as he cleared his throat. “We’re seeing each other again and she’s the reason and, of course, the two of you,” he pointed to me and Jules, “I moved back to New York.”
The scotch I was in the middle of drinking flew out of my mouth. “WHAT?!”
“WHAT?!” Jules exclaimed.
“What the hell?” I set my glass down. “When did this happen?”
“Your father and I have been secretly talking and seeing each other for about six months.”
“Six months!” Jules shouted.
“You have got to be kidding me.” I stood up from the couch.
“What?” My father held out his hands. “Aren’t you happy that your parents are reconciling?”
“Oh my God! I can’t believe this.” I picked up my glass and threw back the rest of my scotch. “Is that why you both are divorcing your spouses? What the hell is the matter with you? You two hate each other.”
“Now, Jackson. That is simply not true,” my mother spoke.
“The hell it isn’t! The two of you had made our lives a living hell since you first got divorced. Shuffling us between houses, the name-calling, the fights, the stepmothers and stepfathers throughout the years. And now, after all of that, you decide to get back together?”
“Mom, Dad, I’m not so sure about this,” Jules spoke up.
“Your mother and I are putting everything in the past and moving forward. We’ve reconnected and I realized that she’s the love of my life.”
“And he’s the love of mine.” My mother smiled.
I stood there, unable to move as the air in the room started to suffocate me.
“You,” I pointed to both of them, “have ruined us!” I yelled.
“Ruined you?” My father’s brow raised. “You’re the CEO of a company I built from the ground up and you’re doing a damn good job and your sister is a doctor. I don’t think we ruined you, son.”
“The fuck you didn’t!”
“Watch your mouth, boy,” he sternly spoke.
“I will not watch my mouth because it’s the goddamn truth. Did you know that Jules had to think about whether or not to accept Carter’s proposal because of how we grew up? And as for me, I would never think about getting into a relationship with someone because of all the bad examples you set for me over the years. You taught me that relationships don’t last, and they cause nothing but heartache. Why do you think I don’t bring anyone around? Why I’m not married?”
“To be honest, your mother and I thought maybe you were gay.”
I clenched my fists and took in a deep breath. “I am not gay! I don’t get involved in anything long term because of you!” I shouted.
“Well, I see Emily is still around,” my mother spoke.
“Because we both signed a contract! We aren’t in a relationship. We’re companions without all the bullshit and problems relationships cause.”
“A what?” my father asked.
“Never mind. I can’t do this. Enough is enough. I’ve stood by you,” I pointed to my mother, “through four husbands. And I’ve stood by you,” I pointed to my father, “through five wives, and now you come in here and tell us you’re getting back together like it’s no big deal? Have a nice life. I don’t want any part of it. Emily, Jules, Carter, let’s go.” I headed towards the door.
“No, Jackson. I think we should stay,” Jules spoke.
“Then go ahead and stay, but I’m not. I’ll have Edward wait here with the car and when you’re ready to leave, he’ll take you home. Emily, let’s go.”
I stepped outside and instructed Edward to wait for Jules and Carter while I hailed Emily and me a cab. As soon as one pulled up, we climbed in and I took in a deep breath to try and calm down.
“I’m not going to ask if you’re okay because clearly you’re not,” Emily spoke.
“I’m sorry you had to witness that.”
“Don’t be.” She placed her hand on my shoulder. “Are we calling it a night?”
“I just want to go home. Will you stay?” I asked.
“Of course I will.” She smiled as she laid her head on my shoulder.
Chapter 35
One Month Later
Emily
My feelings for Jackson hit an all-time high and it was growing more difficult not to tell him that I loved him. Gregory and I had met after my conversation with Crystal and we were slowly building our relationship as father and daughter.
His wife, Stella, was shocked to say the least, but she welcomed me with open arms. As for Jackson, he was still on the outs with his parents. My shop was thriving, and I was a girl who should have been on cloud nine, right? But I wasn’t because I wanted more from Jackson than just a companionship. Even though it felt like we were in a real relationship, we weren’t, and I was growing frustrated. We slept together four nights a week, and the three nights he wasn’t with me, I would toss and turn. Katie and Evelyn told me that I should slowly start to make my feelings known. But I was afraid, because even though I no longer bashed relationships, he still did. After finding out about my mother and why she was the way she was, I let go of everything she told me. I no longer guarded my heart and I no longer wanted to play it safe. I wanted to be someone’s girlfriend; Jackson’s girlfriend.
A friend of Jackson’s was getting married and he was invited to the wedding. I had just slipped on my heels when he walked into my apartment.
“Look at you.” He whistled. “You look incredible. I may have trouble keeping my hands off you tonight.” He wrapped one arm around my waist and kissed my lips.
“You’re looking quite sexy in that tuxedo.” I straightened his bowtie.
We arrived at the Four Seasons Hotel where the ceremony was about to begin. Jackson wanted to skip it, but since the reception was immediately following, I told him we should go. We were seated near the back and stood as the bridesmaids and then the bride walked down the aisle.
“She looks beautiful. What a gorgeous wedding dress,” I whispered.
“Waste of money, if you ask me. To spend all that money and only wear it a few hours.”
“Look who’s talking, Mr. Designer Tux.”
“That’s different. I wear this tux all the time. That dress is only worn once.”
I stopped the conversation because the minister was about to speak. After the ceremony, we headed into the ballroom for the reception.