by Sandi Lynn
“My son.”
“Oh,” I spoke with surprise.
“I would like you to do me a favor and please try to talk some sense into him.”
“About?”
“His father and me. His sister can’t seem to do it, and since the two of you are close and have this weird relationship, I figured I’d come to you.”
“I don’t know, Gwen. It’s none of my business.”
“But it is, Emily. As long as this is affecting him, it’s affecting you.” She reached across the table and placed her hand on mine. “Please. I know it’s asking a lot, but we want our son back. His father and I have found our way back to each other and we want our family to be whole again.”
Wow. She really knew how to pull at the heartstrings. There was no way Jackson was going to listen to me, but for Gwen’s sake, it was worth a shot.
“We’re having dinner tonight. I’ll see what I can do.”
“Thank you.” She gave my hand a squeeze.
After Jackson and I had a wonderful dinner at Daniel, we headed back to my place for the night since the last two nights were spent at his. As we walked through the door, I took off my heels and carried them to the bedroom while Jackson followed behind and took off his suitcoat.
“Have you by any chance talked to your mom?” I asked.
“No. Why?”
“Just wondering if you maybe settled things with them yet.”
“If I had, I would have told you.”
I walked into the bathroom and grabbed a washcloth and poured some makeup remover on it.
“Why are you bringing up my parents?”
“Your mom came into the shop today. She asked how you were doing.”
“Did she come in to shop or specifically to see you?”
“To see me.”
“Interesting.” He walked into the bathroom.
“She asked me to talk to you since we have this weird relationship thing going on.”
“Did she say ‘weird’?” He stood there with his arms folded as I finished taking off my makeup.
“Yes.” I smiled at him through the mirror.
“Well, I’m just going to stop you right there.” His tone was harsh. “I’m not interested in hearing what you have to say because, frankly, Emily, it’s none of your business and my mother should not have come to you.”
I was in the middle of rinsing my face and I froze over the sink. Anger and hurt crept up inside me at hearing those words come from his mouth. I grabbed a towel and dried my face.
“Why do you have to be so rude?” The words just fell out of my mouth.
“How am I being rude?” he asked as I walked past him.
“Telling me that it’s none of my business. This whole thing with your parents is affecting you, which in turn affects me.”
“Why the hell would it affect you? It has nothing to do with you. How I feel about the situation is nobody’s business but my own.”
I turned and looked at him as an expression of shock stumbled across my face.
“Who are you and what have you done with Jackson?” I cocked my head.
“I’m here. This is me.” He held out his hands and spoke with a cocky attitude.
A showdown was emerging, and I knew it wasn’t going to end pretty. I refused to let him get away with speaking to me that way.
“You know what, Jackson?” I walked over to him and pushed my finger into his chest. “You have everything you want out of life. You have two parents who love you, a successful business, more money than you know what to do with, and this fucked up relationship thing we’re in. You have it all and you take so much for granted that it makes me sick! You’re so consumed about how you feel that you don’t give a damn to stop and think about other people’s feelings.”
He inhaled a sharp breath as his nostrils flared. I had just pushed his anger level to the limit, and he was about to explode.
“You want to know why I’m so worried about my feelings?” he shouted so loud that the tone of his voice made me flinch. “Because I’m the only fucking person who does! Did my parents ever once stop to think about my and Jules’ feelings growing up? Did they ever once ask how we were or how we felt? NO! They just hopped from one relationship to another without giving a damn about our feelings, and now they think they can just get back together after all these years and undo the damage? And another thing.” He pointed his finger at me. “You agreed to this fucked-up relationship thing! It’s what we both negotiated and wanted, not just me, but you too. And now all of a sudden, it’s fucked up in your eyes? Why is that, Emily?” he shouted.
He knew. He knew and he wanted to hear me say it. I stood there, shaking in my skin, scared to death of the next words that would come from my mouth. The words that could potentially end our relationship. The more he yelled, the more I was losing control over my emotional state.
“Answer my question!” he yelled.
I lunged at him and placed my hands on his chest, pushing him back.
“You want to know why? Because I fucking fell in love with you! I’ve been in love with you and I want more. I don’t want a damn contract. I just want you.” Tears filled my eyes.
He stood there, tall and in complete control as he stared at me for a moment. A moment in which I was sure that he was going to tell me that he loved me too.
“You weren’t supposed to fall in love, Emily. You broke rule number nine,” he spoke in a calm tone. “And you know what that means.”
“Are you serious?” I narrowed my teary eyes at him. “You can just walk away after everything we’ve been through and done together?”
“I can and I will. We had an agreement, and this just complicates things now.”
“Complicates things? How? You don’t feel anything for me?”
“I love you as a friend and nothing more. We had a good thing, and if you only would have stuck to the rules, we wouldn’t be having this conversation right now.”
He stabbed me in the heart and twisted the knife slowly, causing an unbearable pain that almost sent me to my knees.
“I’m sorry things had to end this way,” he spoke in a serious tone.
I couldn’t even look at him because if I did, I would go for his throat. I was that unstable at the moment.
“Get out,” I whispered in a low voice.
He grabbed his suitcoat from the chair in my bedroom, and as he walked out, he spoke, “You shouldn’t have broken the rules.”
Chapter 38
Jackson
I swallowed hard as I left her apartment and shut the door behind me. She’d get over it. She’d get over me in time. This was what was best for the both of us. The hurt now would be much easier to deal with than down the road.
I walked a few blocks, pushing all thoughts of her out of my head. The pain on her face, the hurt in her eyes, and the sadness that overtook her. Walking into a dive bar, I took a seat on the stool and ordered a double scotch. I threw it back and ordered two more doubles, with the hope that the alcohol would make the pain stop. I cared for her. I really did. More than I wanted to admit. I told Samuel that I could walk away and, being a man of my word, I did. She left me with no choice.
I stumbled out of the elevator and tripped up the stairs as I made my way to the bedroom. Taking off my suitcoat, I threw it on the floor before falling onto the bed. The alcohol I had consumed won and put me into a sound sleep, something I needed to forget about her and what happened tonight.
Emily
As soon as I heard the door shut, I fell to my knees and cupped my face in my hands, letting out the hardest cry I’d ever had. He only loved me as a friend and hearing those words hurt me more than anything I had ever experienced in my life, even the death of my mother. Don’t get me wrong; the pain I felt after she was gone was unbearable, but I was prepared. She had been sick for months and the doctors couldn’t do anything else for her. The cancer had spread too much and too fast. We talked about her death a lot and made preparations for it.
It didn’t make it any easier, but at least I wasn’t caught off guard. With him, I was. I was certain he had more than just friendly feelings for me. I would say he was lying, but his tone was so serious, and a tear never filled his eye. He stared at me as if he was some kind of robot.
I fell to my side on the floor and tucked myself into a fetal position while the tears freely flowed down my face. Was this how my mother felt when she found out that Gregory wasn’t coming back? Was it this pain and anguish that pushed her to become so bitter about relationships? I understood it now and I never should have let my guard down. If I hadn’t, he’d still be here, and we’d be having sex like we always did. I’d wake up in his arms and we’d kiss each other goodbye before heading to work. Now, all of that was gone and I was left here all alone to deal with the destruction of my emotional state by myself. I felt sick to my stomach, so I dragged myself into the bathroom and leaned over the toilet while the vomit rose in my throat.
After wiping my mouth, I pulled back the covers and climbed into bed, bringing my knees to my chest and curling into a ball. I’d thought about calling Katie and Evelyn, but I couldn’t bring myself to. I wasn’t ready to relive the events of tonight and how Jackson just walked out of my life because I let myself fall in love with him.
Jackson
Slowly opening my eyes, I placed my hand on my aching head. Several groans escaped me as I rolled over and felt the empty spot beside me. She wasn’t here and, for a brief moment, I had forgotten. Thoughts of her and last night crept inside my head. Grabbing my phone from the nightstand, I had two missed calls and several text messages from Jules.
“Dad had a mild heart attack and he’s in the hospital. Get here as soon as you can.”
“Jackson, where the fuck are you?”
“Why aren’t you answering your phone? I tried to call Emily, but it went straight to voicemail.”
“If this is your way of punishing Mom and Dad, you suck, and I’m so pissed at you right now.”
I quickly sat up and dialed her number. After a few rings, it went to voicemail.
“Jules, I’m sorry. I had a rough night and I was passed out. I’m on my way, but I need details. Is he okay? What room is he in?”
I reeked of alcohol, but I didn’t care. I didn’t have time to shower. After I put on some clothes and brushed my teeth, Jules called.
“Hello.”
“He’s fine and he’s in room 4012.” Her tone was cold and flat.
“Jules, I’m sorry. I didn’t hear my phone.”
“Just get here as soon as you can.”
She was mad and I didn’t blame her. They needed me last night and I failed them because I was in a drunken state over a woman whose heart I broke. While Edward drove me to the hospital, I called my secretary to let her know that I wasn’t coming in until later. When I walked into room 4012, my dad was sleeping and my mother was at his side, holding his hand.
“It’s about time you got here,” she spoke in a stern voice without looking at me.
“I’m sorry, Mom. I didn’t hear my phone.”
“Were you with her?” she asked.
“No. I was in a bar getting drunk and then went home and passed out.”
She turned her head and her eyes met mine.
“Are you okay?” she asked.
“I don’t know. How is he?”
“He’s doing better now. He’ll be going in for bypass surgery in a couple of hours.”
“Is he going to be okay?” I placed my hand on her shoulder.
“Do you really care?”
“Mom. Don’t. Of course I care.”
She brought her hand up to mine and gently squeezed it. “He’s going to be okay.”
I sat on the edge of the bed and placed my hand on his arm. Thoughts of how he could have died plagued me.
“Well, look who decided to show up,” Jules spoke as she walked into the room.
“Not now, Jules.”
“Step outside in the hall for a moment. I need a word with you.”
Rolling my eyes and letting out a sigh, I followed her out to the hallway.
“What the fuck, Jackson? We needed you here last night. Mom needed you here last night.”
“I said I was sorry. I didn’t hear my phone,” I spoke through gritted teeth.
“What happened? And by the way, you reek of alcohol.”
Running my hand through my hair, I leaned against the wall.
“Emily and I won’t be seeing each other anymore.”
“Why?” she asked as she placed her hands on her hips.
“We just aren’t, and I don’t want to get into it right now. Just not right now, Jules. Please.”
“Fine.” She wrapped her arms around me. “Just tell me one thing. Are you okay?”
“I’m okay.”
I’d spent the day with my mom in the waiting room while my dad was in surgery and Jules was back in the ER finishing her shift. She and Carter both came up to check on things in between patients.
Chapter 39
Emily
It had been a long week and I kept myself busy by burying myself in my work. Working twelve-to fourteen-hour days just to keep my mind off of Jackson. Evelyn and Katie tried to get me to go out with them, but I didn’t feel like it. All I wanted to do was work and go home and sleep. I missed him so much and this adjustment without seeing him was incredibly hard. My first heartbreak ever, and believe me when I tell you, I don’t ever want to experience it again. I now saw why my mother went to great lengths to protect her heart after Gregory.
“Hey, Emily,” Katie spoke as she stuck her head in the backroom. “Jules is here to see you.”
“Thanks. Tell her I’ll be out in a second.”
She was the last person I wanted to see right now. Even though we were friends, she was a reminder of him. I wasn’t sure what he told her, if he said anything at all. Getting up from my chair, I walked out of the back and saw her standing by the jewelry display.
“Hey, Jules.” I forced a smile.
“Hi, Emily.” She hugged me tight. “How are you?”
“I’m okay. How are you?”
“I’m good.”
“Are you doing some shopping?” I asked.
“I’m on my lunch break and I thought I’d drop by to see you. It’s been a while.”
“Yeah. It has.” I looked down.
“Why don’t we head down to the deli and grab a little something to eat?”
“I’m not hungry, but I’ll go with you.”
As soon as we stepped out of the shop, she wrapped her arm around mine.
“What happened between you and Jackson?”
“He didn’t mention it?” I asked.
“Not really. He just said that the two of you wouldn’t be seeing each other anymore and he didn’t want to talk about it.”
“I broke rule number nine,” I spoke as I stared straight ahead.
“And rule number nine was what?”
“A simple one, really. I fell in love with him.”
“Oh, Emily. Of course you did. Even though he doesn’t deserve your love.”
We walked inside the deli and took a seat at one of the tables next to the window.
“I told him, and his response was that he loved me as a friend and nothing more.”
“Asshole.” She frowned.
“I broke one of the rules and now I am paying the consequences for it. It’s my fault. I never should have signed that contract. Now that I think about it, I was so stupid.”
“No you weren’t. You did what you thought was right at the time because your beliefs were different. I get that.”
“I never planned on telling him that I loved him, but we started arguing and he said some things that really hurt me, so I just told him.”
After the waitress stopped by our table and Jules placed her order, she reached across the table and grabbed hold of my hands.
“And you should have told him. You had every right. What if something
happened to him before you got the chance to tell him?”
A feeling of nausea hit me the moment the waitress set down Jules’ corned beef sandwich in front of her.
“Are you okay?” she asked. “All of a sudden, you look really pale.”
“I feel really sick to my stomach. Excuse me for a moment.” I got up and ran to the bathroom.
I knew it was nerves, for it had been happening all week. Hence the reason I’d barely eaten. When I got back to the table, Jules looked at me strangely.
“Were you sick?” she asked with concern.
“Yeah. It’s been happening all week. It’s just nerves. I’ll be okay.”
“Are you sure that’s what it is? I am a doctor. I can check you out.”
“I’m fine, Jules. Trust me. This whole thing with Jackson has me all messed up. Please promise me you won’t tell him.”
“I won’t. But if it persists, I want you to come see me.”
“I will.”
After lunch, Jules went back to the hospital and I went back to the shop.
Jackson
My father was released from the hospital and he was doing well. Since he didn’t have a permanent place here in New York yet, my mother moved him in with her so she could help with his recovery. Seeing them together like this was strange and a bit unsettling to me. My father and I had a long talk and I apologized to both him and my mother for the way I behaved towards them. But I did make it very clear that if they decided that things weren’t going to work out again, I would not be around, and I didn’t want to hear about it.
I was sitting in my office one morning and Audrey, my secretary, walked in and placed some papers on my desk. The smell of her perfume caught me off guard.
“Audrey, what kind of perfume are you wearing?”
“Joe Malone.” She smiled. “My husband bought it for me for our anniversary.”
“Do me a favor and please don’t wear it to the office.”
“Oh. Okay. I’m sorry.” She looked at me strangely.
“Did I just hear you tell Audrey not to wear that perfume?” Samuel asked as he stepped into my office.