The Adventurer

by Jayne Ann Krentz

  Gideon knew now she hadn't meant anything by accepting the flowers or letting Jake get close. She seemed to be able to see right through the facade in a way no other woman ever had. Sarah's problem was that she just didn't understand how dangerous Savage could be when it came to women. She was too naive, too trusting.

  Just look how quick she'd been to trust one Gideon Trace, he reminded himself morosely as he took a large swallow of brandy. The little fool had come skipping cheerfully into his life just as if he really were one of the heroes out of her books.

  No common sense, Gideon told himself. That was Sarah's whole problem. She was good-hearted and sweet and fascinating in many ways, but she obviously needed a strong-willed man to take care of her. She needed someone to keep her from getting into trouble. Someone to protect her from the likes of Jake Savage.

  Jake Savage. Why the hell did he have to show up after all this time? Why couldn't he have done one decent thing in his life and stayed dead?

  But it was typical of Jake to come back now, Gideon thought.

  Just when things had been starting to fall into place between himself and Sarah. Just when he'd figured he was getting a handle on her. Just when he'd started an affair with her and he'd begun to realize how important she was to him.

  Gideon got to his feet, brandy glass in one hand, and went up the stairs and down the dark hall to the room Sarah had chosen. She'd picked the bedroom at the far end, the one that would catch the first rays of morning sunshine.

  He tried the antique glass doorknob. It twisted easily in his hand. He wanted to take that as an invitation but he knew it was more likely Sarah simply hadn't found the key in the bottom bureau drawer.

  Gideon cracked the door a few inches and peered into the shadows. Ellora stirred, meowing silently as she watched him from the depths of the big, old four-poster. The cat was curled up against Sarah's leg. Sarah, herself, was a small, curved shape under the quilt. Her hair spilled out in a dark fan across the pillow. She was sound asleep, one hand curled near her chin.

  Gideon wondered what she would do if he got into bed beside her. He stood there for a long while, sipping his brandy while he studied her in the dim light that filtered through the partially opened door.

  Every time he had taken her into his arms, she'd melted for him, even when she'd claimed she didn't think he was ready for a sexual relationship. She'd always responded when he touched her.

  In fact, she couldn't really resist him, Gideon told himself.

  He opened the door a little farther and stepped into the room. She didn't move. He put the brandy glass down on the bureau and began to undress slowly.

  A few minutes later, naked, he started toward the bed.

  "Take one more step and I'll scream the house down," Sarah said from the shadows.

  Gideon halted, feeling like an idiot. The sensation made him angry and fueled his sense of outraged frustration. "Why? You like it when I make love to you in my arms. Don't try to deny it."

  "If you think I'm going to let you sleep with me after some of the things you said this morning, you're out of your mind. Go to bed, Gideon. Your own bed."

  Gideon didn't move. "What do you want from me? Damn it, Sarah, I don't understand you."

  "That's obvious. The answer to your question is that I don't want anything from you tonight. Go to bed."

  "Sarah." He hesitated, some deep, primitive part of him urging him to ignore her protests. He was certain that if he just climbed into bed with her and took her into his arms, she would cling to him the way she always did. "Give it a chance. You want to communicate? This is one way we communicate just fine."

  "Not tonight, Gideon. I mean it."

  "Damn it, you want me to say I'm sorry? To apologize for what I said at the cabin? Is that it? All right, I'm sorry."

  "That's not enough. Not this time."

  "What more can you ask?"

  "I want you to admit why you did it."

  "Why I did it?" he asked blankly.

  "Yes. Why you did all of it. Why you said those things about the reasons I was sleeping with you, why you whisked us away from the cabin and why you're so determined to keep me here instead of letting me go back to Seattle."

  He stared at her, wishing he could see her face. "But I told you why I did all those things."

  "You gave me a fine song and dance about having legitimate reasons to question my motives and how you were going to protect me from Jake Savage in spite of myself, but that's not the real reason."

  "It's not?"

  "No, it's not. I've been doing a lot of thinking and I've finally figured out what's going on inside that thick skull of yours. It's time you admitted to me and to yourself the real reason you've been acting the way you have today."

  "All right, I give up. What is the real reason?"

  Sarah sat up against the pillows, her eyes glinting in the shadows. "Actually, there are two reasons. First, you're afraid to admit how much you've come to care for me, and second, you're jealous of Jake Savage."

  "Jealous?"

  "You're afraid he's going to steal me, not the Flowers, aren't you? Isn't that the truth? Isn't it? Come on, Gideon, say it. You've finally started to realize you're in love with me and you're afraid I'm going to get swept off my feet by Jake Savage. That's the real motivation behind your actions, isn't it?"

  Gideon felt as if he'd been sandbagged. "Is that why you didn't put up much of a fight about staying here with me?"

  "Of course it is. If I didn't think there was hope for you, I'd have gone straight back to Seattle. But I finally realized the real reason you were acting like a lion with a thorn in its paw and I decided to give you a little time to understand your own actions. But I'm not about to sleep with you again until you finally acknowledge how you really feel about me. Then we'll discuss your little problem with jealousy. Don't worry. It's nothing we can't work out."

  For once Gideon managed to keep his mouth shut, although how he managed it, he never knew. Jealous? Jealous of Savage? The blood was pounding in his veins, but not from desire. He hadn't been this furious in a long time. He turned on his heel, picked up his discarded clothes and stormed out of the room. He slammed the door so hard the wall trembled.

  He was damned if he would admit he was jealous of Savage. He would not give Sarah that much power. Never in a million years. He would never again give any woman that kind of power over him.

  Besides, she was a hundred miles wide of the mark. He wasn't jealous, he was just cautious. He was keeping her out of Savage's reach only because he was trying to protect her from her own naïveté. If she couldn't see that, she was a fool and a manipulative one at that.

  If she wanted to think she was in love with him, that was fine, Gideon told himself. But it would be a cold day in Hades before he set himself up to be betrayed again by his woman and his ex-partner. This time around he was going to stay in charge of the situation.

  He'd learned a long time ago that the only safe way to exist was to keep his emotions under rigid control. Sarah Fleetwood was not going to force him to break the rules under which he had been living successfully for the past five years.

  9

  « ^ »

  SARAH TRIED HER BEST to ignore Gideon's foul mood for the next two days. She pursued a variety of activities as if she were on vacation, experimenting with new recipes in the kitchen, taking long walks on the beach, reading books from Gideon's extensive library.

  She was unfailingly good-natured and upbeat, even though she had to grit her teeth on more than one occasion when Gideon turned on her like a cornered cat. In truth, there were some very discouraging moments.

  But Sarah was determined that one way or another Gideon was going to learn that this relationship worked on trust, not good sex.

  "How long do you think you can keep this up?" Gideon demanded as he washed dishes on the second night.

  "Keep what up?" Sarah reclined at the kitchen table, her feet propped on a chair as she recovered from her labors. Din
ner had been a particularly spectacular affair, one of her best efforts yet. The Thai-style noodles, hot-and-sour soup and raspberries in filo had been a culinary triumph as far as she was concerned. Gideon had made no comment as he'd worked his way steadily through the meal. He'd risen to do the dishes without a word.

  "You know what I'm talking about." Gideon rinsed the dishes under a spray of hot water. "How long are you going to flit around here acting like you're my roommate or a boarder I've taken in for the summer?"

  "Oh, that. As long as it takes, I guess."

  A pan clattered loudly in the sink. "As long as it takes to do what, damn it?"

  "As long as it takes for you to realize that we're supposed to be building a relationship."

  He swung her a brief, angry glance. "If your crazy intuition is telling you this is the way to create a good relationship, you've got bigger problems than I thought."

  "What do you want me to do, Gideon?" Sarah asked as Ellora plopped into her lap. "Sleep with you on demand even though you don't trust me and won't admit you love me? What's in it for me?"

  "What the hell do you want from me?"

  "You know what I want."

  He snagged a dishtowel and began drying plates with swift, violent motions. "You started throwing yourself at me the minute I met you. I thought for a while you wanted me."

  "I do."

  "You don't seem to be having much of a problem pretending I'm just the landlord lately."

  "That's not true," Sarah said. "This is as hard on me as it is on you. I'm suffering, too, you know."

  "Not as far as I can see." He slung the dishes into the cupboard. "How does this new tactic work? If I go down on my knees and swear I love you and will trust blindly in you forever, do I get to go to bed with you?"

  Sarah held her breath. "That would certainly be a promising start."

  He shot her a scowling look as he put the rest of the dishes away. "Don't press your luck, Sarah."

  She sighed. "It's all Savage's fault. If he hadn't shown up out of the blue when he did, you'd have made much more progress by now. I just know you would have. I wish he'd stayed gone."

  "You and me both." Gideon closed the cupboard door and stalked over to stand in front of her. "Come here." He reached down to grab her hand.

  She looked up warily. "Where are we going?"

  "If you're going to act like a roommate or a summer boarder, you might as well give me a few of the benefits I'd expect from one."

  "Gideon, I told you…"

  Ellora squawked in annoyance as she was dumped unceremoniously from Sarah's lap. It wasn't Sarah's fault. Gideon had yanked her to her feet and was pulling her through the doorway into the living room.

  "Sit." Gideon used a hand on her shoulder to propel her into a chair in front of the chess table. He took the seat across from her and studied her as she sat scowling at him.

  "You ever play chess?" Gideon asked.

  "Nope."

  "Somehow I thought that might be the case. Well, if you're going to hang around here, you'd better learn. I need a regular partner. My neighbor obliges once in a while but he's not always around when I feel like a game."

  Sarah felt a sudden glow of pleasure at his words. Her expression softened instantly. "You want me to play chess with you? Gideon, I'm touched. It's wonderful that you're starting to see me as something more than a convenient sex object."

  "You were never that."

  "Never a sex object?"

  "Never very convenient. In fact, you've been nothing but inconvenient since the day you arrived." Gideon began setting out the chess pieces. "Pay attention. The first thing you're going to have to learn about chess is that you can't rely solely on your famous intuition."

  "Why not?" She surveyed the pieces with deep interest.

  "Because you'll lose if you do. Chess demands foresight, planning and strategy."

  "That's the sort of thing you're supposed to be so good at."

  Gideon smiled grimly. "Right. You're going to have to work hard if you want to beat me."

  "I don't mind learning to play, but I should tell you I don't have the killer instinct when it comes to games. Somehow it's just never seemed all that important to win." Sarah was increasingly fascinated by the carved wooden chess figures. She picked up a knight. It felt good in her palm. "Did you make these?"

  "Yes." He eyed her as she fingered the knight. "One winter when I had a lot of spare time. Why?"

  Sarah shrugged and put the knight back down on the board. "Oh, I don't know. They're just interesting. Unusual. Maybe you have heretofore undiscovered talents as a sculptor."

  "I doubt it. All right, we're all set. You ready?"

  "That depends. Are you going to yell at me a lot if I don't learn fast enough to suit you?"

  "Probably. I'm not feeling real patient at the moment."

  Sarah glared at him. "If you start yelling, I'm outta here. Understand?"

  "Don't bother issuing threats, Sarah. You've already got me tied up in knots. There's not a whole lot more you can do to me."

  She reached across the table and impulsively put her hand on his. "Gideon, I'm sorry. Please believe me, I'm only trying to do what's best for both of us."

  He eyed her laconically. "Sorry's not good enough, remember? You told me that, yourself."

  She flushed and took her hand off his. She stared unseeingly down at the chess pieces. "I get the feeling this is going to be a perfectly miserable experience."

  "Must be your intuition at work again."

  But it really wasn't all that bad, Sarah decided two hours later. Gideon proved to be a surprisingly patient instructor, in spite of his veiled threats. At one point Machu Picchu lumbered over to take up a position in a nearby armchair and Ellora curled up beside him. The two cats supervised Sarah's progress with placid expressions.

  "Not bad for a sex object," Gideon said finally. "I think you've got possibilities as a chess partner."

  Sarah's head came up swiftly, unsure if he was teasing her. Gideon's eyes held a rare spark of humor, however, so she gave him a saucy smile. "Does that mean I have some practical uses, after all?"

  "I could think of ways in which you'd be infinitely more useful."

  Sarah got to her feet and went around the table to kiss him lightly on the cheek. "Good night, Gideon."

  "Sarah?"

  "Yes?" She halted at the foot of the stairs, her attention caught by something in his tone. She looked back and saw that he was toying with one of the chess figures.

  "Never mind." Gideon put down the chess piece and reached for the brandy decanter. "Go to bed."

  She went on up the stairs, Ellora trotting at her heels. Machu Picchu stayed behind, apparently feeling obliged to offer silent masculine support to the other male in the household.

  Sarah lay awake a long time waiting for the sound of Gideon's footsteps in the hall. She did not go to sleep until after she heard him climb the stairs and go past her room to his own.

  THE FOLLOWING DAY Sarah awoke to a world of infinite gray. The morning fog blanketed everything just as a strange feeling of uneasiness shrouded her normally exuberant emotions.

  She looked out the window and realized she could not even see the beach. She was not usually depressed by fog. In fact, as a writer, she generally found it curiously exciting and even inspiring. But this morning was different.

  She felt moody and restless. It was as if she sensed something ominous hovering out there in the fog.

  But it made no sense to feel this way, she told herself as she showered and dressed in jeans and a sweater. Last night had gone rather well, all things considered. Gideon had seemed content to teach her chess and she had taken his interest in doing so as a good sign. He was trying to find other avenues of communication.

  So why was she feeling so strange this morning?

  Out in the hall she saw that the door to Gideon's room was half-open but all was quiet inside. Machu Picchu appeared in the opening and Ellora skipped forward to gree
t him. He touched noses with her and then stalked past Sarah as if she didn't exist. Sarah had the unsettling feeling that the big cat had somehow adopted Gideon's attitude toward her. When Ellora offered a silent apology for her companion's behavior, Sarah smiled.

  "Don't worry about it," she told the small cat. "I understand. Men are very stubborn at times, aren't they?"

  She followed the cats downstairs and went into the kitchen. The old Victorian lacked any semblance of cheerfulness today, even after she got the drapes open. Everything was dark, cold and depressed-looking. None of her plans for sprucing things up appealed this morning. Sarah tried to come up with some interesting ideas for breakfast but failed.

  The fog hung heavily outside the window, drawing her in some strange way. Part of her longed to lose herself in the physical manifestation of the moodiness that seemed to have engulfed her during the night.

  Intuition was sometimes a curse, especially when one didn't know how to interpret the vague warnings it was giving out. Sarah realized she wanted to go for a walk.

  Without questioning the impulse, she found her windbreaker and let herself out into the chilled morning air. A few minutes later she was on the long, craggy beach below Gideon's house. She started walking, her hands thrust deeply into her pockets. The fog ebbed and swirled around her. She felt alone in the world and at the same time, threatened by something she did not yet understand.

  One by one the doubts began to creep in and take root.

  Maybe she was handling everything all wrong, she thought. What did she really know about dealing with a man like Gideon? It was true that in some mysterious way he was the personification of the heroes in her books, but she was also discovering that there was a lot she did not know or fully comprehend about those heroes. They were a part of her and yet they were strangers—alien lovers about whom she understood certain aspects but not others.

  She had the ability to fashion exciting stories around such male characters but the raw truth was that she could not make real life turn out as neatly as a novel of romantic suspense. She had landed on Gideon's doorstep fully prepared to live out the fantasy of 'Beauty and the Beast."