Broken Faith: Spiritual Discord, 1

by Brandy Nacole

  Sabrina stares up at the sky, her beautiful green eyes full of tears. I slide my legs under her body, pulling her up into my lap. Tears fall down her face as she looks up at me.

  I brush her hair back.

  “You’re going to be okay, Sabrina. Everything’s going to be fine.”

  I know better. So does she. The hell hounds’ saliva is deadly to any blood child or half created from them. It’s the easy way for a hound to kill a blood child. Tearing at a blood child’s flesh with their claws destroyed the body, but a bite destroyed the soul. It ate the blood child alive from the inside out.

  There is no cure. Why would there be? Lucifer sent the hounds to kill his blood children, a cure wasn’t needed. And the angels didn’t need a cure, why would we? They are our enemies. Angels are meant to protect the humans. It is against our creator’s beliefs to protect the blood children. But I am a fallen angel, it is no longer against mine.

  “Kayson, you have to leave. You know I will die within a few days. And you heard Falon. He will be back.” Another tear escapes from her eye. My heart tears as I take in her wound. How am I going to fix this? How am I going to save her? I owe her that. Her life. She saved mine when she knew of the dangers. I won’t just turn my back to leave while she dies. I just can’t.

  Sabrina sees what I’m thinking. “Kayson, no. You have to leave. Please. You promised.” Her plea breaks my heart. I know she only cares for my safety, but how can she not expect the same from me? I know her soul can be restored. How can anyone not see that? She stayed to help me, to fight alongside me against the hounds, when she didn’t have to. That act alone demands a chance at redemption. I lower my head to hers, ignoring the pain shooting through my side.

  “You’re not the only one who crossed their fingers.”

  Sabrina looks up at me, shocked. She didn’t know that I saw what she did in the mirror that was hanging on the wall behind her.

  I sit there holding her, unsure of what to do. I am more than willing to try anything that will save her, even if that means going into the depths of Hell. But I know that will do no good. If there is little mercy on earth, there is certainly none to be found in Hell.

  My thoughts are interrupted when someone clears their throat behind me. I look up to see Stille. Stille was one of the strongest Warriors, next to Falon. Stille had once been a calming angel, with the gift to create a sense of relaxation and contentment in any being, animal, or human, no matter what the situation. When his tasks as a calmer became too few, he asked to become a Warrior.

  He fell years before I did, and for the same reasons as Falon. The difference between Falon and Stille though, is that Stille knows the error of his ways and has been trying to find peace within himself ever since. I have been told that God looked into Stille’s heart and offered him his wings back some time after his fall, but when Stille heard that Falon and I had fallen too, he refused. Stille was determined to save his brothers, even Falon, and couldn’t rest until he did so.

  It has only been a few years since the last time I saw Stille. He begged and pleaded with me to let go of my insane belief that the blood children or the halfs can be restored. But I refused to listen. Just like I know I am going to have to do again.

  “Kayson, we must go. It is not safe for the humans if we stay here. You know Falon will be back with more hounds. You must leave.” Stille regards Sabrina with a distasteful look. “You must also leave the—the girl.” Good choice on the wording. He knows better than to go there right now.

  “How can you ask me that? She saved my life, Stille. I cannot just leave her here alone.” I need him and everyone else listening to understand that I’m not leaving without her. I am going to save Sabrina or be with her until the end. I can offer her nothing less.

  Stille’s expression tells me he thinks I’m being foolish. “If death is what you wanted, why didn’t you just let Falon kill you? That is what you are seeking if you stay with her.”

  He may be right but I am not one to give up. He should know this. It’s the reason I fell and lost my wings in the first place. “Stille, there has to be a way. Her life cannot just end like this.”

  Stille kneels down beside me, placing his hand on my shoulder. “Every life must end at one point. That is why the angels exist. We keep those lives safe and filled with hope so their souls can move on to a better existence when life is done.”

  “I know this Stille,” I move my shoulder so his hand falls. “But the problem is her soul. You know why I fell, and what I believe. If we don’t save her, you know the existence in which she will suffer. I cannot allow that. She never asked to become a blood child, half or otherwise. She was forced. How is there righteousness or justice in forcing a soul into Hell for eternity because of something they never asked for or wanted?”

  I glance down at Sabrina’s beautiful face, knowing of the pain she endured from being turned. When she had told me her story, I wanted to lash out at the monster who forced her soul to surrender itself to Hell. I had wanted to hold her, and tell her hope still remained. I didn’t, but oh how I wanted to.

  Stille’s voice is accusing when he speaks again. “You have fallen for her, haven’t you?”

  I keep my eyes focused on Sabrina. I look into the eyes that I could get lost in for eternity. I look at the girl whose spirit is strong and has carried her through time as she ran from the very thing she feared, a life spent in Hell’s grasp. Her gaze meets mine, and when I smile at her, she smiles back.

  “I have.”

  I say it to Sabrina as much as to Stille. Those two words bring more tears to Sabrina’s already filled eyes. The joy I feel from seeing her happiness warms my soul. I have seen other angels fall because they became enraptured with a human. I had always thought their acts were foolish and mindless. When I fell, I had no intentions of finding someone to fall in love with. My mind was set on finding a blood child to save in order to prove my belief. And yes, while I had watched Sabrina struggle through the years, I had never felt any particular affection for her otherwise than saving her soul. Not just her soul, but those like her. It wasn’t until we met, and I truly understood her and seen the fire she has in her eyes, that my heart opened up to feelings I had once thought foolish.

  Stille paces. “How can you do this? How can you fall for one of them, Kayson? It’s unnatural.”

  The others stand in a semi-circle, listening to our discussion. I don’t care. They need to know where I stand and why. Emma and Briston sit off to the side of the yard, quietly watching as well.

  “Open your eyes, Stille. See the halfs for what they really are. They are lost.”

  Stille continues to pace, but I reach out my hand and catch his pants leg to stop him. “Do you not remember our oath? Our oath to protect the lost and guide them into salvation, into freedom?”

  Stille shakes his head fiercely. “Our oath is for those with a soul. She lost her soul when she was turned.”

  “Her soul can be restored to her, Stille. It’s just lost.” I plead with Stille to hear me.

  He continues to shake his head. “That’s a forbidden act, you know this as well as anyone. You will never find a healer willing to lose their wings over a half. They will never consent.”

  I know he is right, but that isn’t going to stop me from trying. “There must be something. Don’t you know of anything we can try?” Stille shakes his head. Like me, he’s probably never heard of a cure for the blood children who suffered a hound’s bite. It wasn’t our worry.

  Saja steps forward from the other fallen. She takes a few steps forward, but stops before she reaches us. She seems afraid. If she is afraid of Sabrina, she’s a fool. Saja has always been a kind spirit. She and Stille have been by each other’s sides since the beginning of their existence. Like Stille, Saja is a calming angel. Well, was. Her calming abilities made her a gentle person, unlike Stille, who lost his calm when he became a Warrior.

  Saja’s voice is low and wavers just a bit. She addresses Stille, not me. “Unti
l an answer is found, or she surrenders to the bite, a drop of his blood may help slow the effects.”

  Of course, why didn’t I think of that? I have seen how much Sabrina improves in appearance when I give her my blood.

  I look down at Sabrina, “Let’s try it. It could work.” Hope is rekindled in me at the possibility of being able to heal her with my own blood. Our blood is powerful. Even though we have been stripped of our abilities, our blood still carries an unearthly strength. That much was evident from her improvements before.

  Sabrina shakes her head. “I can’t, Kayson. I think this might be too much. I’ve already drank from you twice in the past few days.”

  I hear an audible intake of shock from the others. Stille is the one disturbed most by her confession. “You let her drink from you?”

  I narrow my eyes at Stille. “She volunteered to save me from the hell hounds, but she was weak. I had no other choice. And she didn’t even want to at first. For someone who was offered his wings back, you sure are quick to judge.”

  Stille returns my glare. “You know that is forbidden. Our blood is pure and not meant for the corrupt.”

  If it wasn’t for my unwillingness to let go of Sabrina, I would stand up to respond to Stille’s comment. But I can still tell him what I think.

  “She is pure. It’s a shame you cannot see that. Your mind is just as narrow as the rest of them.”

  “I will not stand here and be insulted by someone whose life I just saved, nor will I be a witness to this disgrace. Offering your blood to this half to save her damaged soul is—it’s too much, Kayson.” Stille starts to back away.

  Saja steps forward and places her hand on his arm. “Stille, he is our brethren. We cannot leave him. And how can we question a belief he stands so strongly for? Is he the only angel here who has fallen?” Saja may not have her powers anymore, but she still has the air of a calmer. Stille says nothing more, but stays where he’s standing.

  I look back down at Sabrina, who has her eyes closed. “Sabrina?” I say her name quietly.

  Sabrina opens her eyes with a flutter. “I’m okay, just a little tired.”

  “Sabrina, please, take another drop of my blood. It may be the only thing that can save you.” I plead with her again, hoping she will give in, and place my hand near her face, ready to give another bit of myself.

  “Kayson, wait.” Sabrina pulls my hand away from her mouth. “I will try. But if I die—” I shake my head, unwilling to hear her words. I don’t want to think about that. I am focused on making her well again, then together, we can prove to the others that no matter how lost a soul may be, it can be restored through faith.

  Sabrina places her hand on my cheek. “Just listen. If I die, will you promise me something?”

  I lean down so my lips are next to her ear. “Anything.”

  “Two things. First, you have to promise not to cross your fingers.” Sabrina chuckles weakly. I can’t help but smile.

  With a smile still on my lips, I whisper. “I promise.”

  Sabrina looks deep into my eyes. “Promise me you’ll never give up. Promise you will always try and prove a blood child can be redeemed.”

  I hesitate, not because the promise is hard to make. But I don’t want to think about continuing my search for another blood child or half, when I have already found the one that I want to save. But if this is Sabrina’s last wish, then I will do anything to make it happen.

  “I promise.”

  And there, uncaring of what the others thought, I kiss her. I kiss her with everything I have. I open my soul to her like I have never dreamt of opening my soul to anyone. I cradle her love in the depths of my soul and lock it there to carry with me. Sabrina returns my kiss with just as much passion as I give her. Our kiss is inflamed with desire. It’s filled with so much hope for the future. A future I never want to let go. When we break apart we stare at each other, our eyes filled with flame. This must not be the only kiss we share. I want more time with Sabrina, more kisses, more of her love. An end to a bond that has grown so strong between us, cannot be cut short with an endless fate like this.

  Sabrina takes my hand in hers and brings it to her lips. She kisses my hand before extending her fangs. Such a short time ago I found this act so repulsive, but now I see it as natural, and necessary. This is how Sabrina feeds, but I am certain that someday, she will no longer have fangs to feed off her victims. She will have a pulse, a beating heart, and her soul will be returned to her.

  A single drop of my blood beads up on my finger. Cautiously, Sabrina takes the single drop. Even though I have reassured her that one drop will not harm her, she still holds the fear that I am wrong. And maybe this time may be too much. But every time before, it didn’t destroy her, it made her stronger. Her skin, even though it is pale, became more vibrant and healthy. Her eyes lit up with life. Vampires were created to live off others’ life essences. Sabrina chose to stop feeding off humans to save herself, and the spark of life that maintained her as a vampire, was dimming. That all changed after she took my blood inside her. And I’m hoping, hoping with every ounce of my soul, that one more drop will not be one drop too many.

  I look up at Stille and meet his disapproving glare. The others have similar expressions, all except Hanna and Noam. I imagine they don’t exactly approve, no angel would, but I can feel a joy emanating from them anyway. They know I am doing something I believe in and they are overjoyed to see my passion. That is what angels do. We help guide people into believing in themselves, their beliefs, and their dreams. We give them hope, strength, joy, and love. Hanna and Noam can see the truth in my actions, while the others are blinded by their own beliefs.

  Sabrina gasps and clutches my arm, and I look down at her. She tries to say something but the words are choked off. She continues to gasp. Panic rushes through my body. Was I wrong? Have I given her too much of my blood the last few days? Or is this her reaction to a battle raging inside of her between my blood and the poison from the hound’s bite? I don’t know, and not being able to help tears at my heart.

  “Sabrina! Sabrina, please. Stay with me. Look at me!”

  She grasps my arm so tight I’m sure she will break my bones. I don’t care. I wouldn’t care if she had to break every bone in my body to get through this. I would let her. Blood starts to gurgle out of her mouth, streaming down her face to land on her shoulder. Before she closes her eyes, one word forms on her mouth. Sabrina whispers, “Beat,” then her eyes shut and her body goes limp.

  What does she mean? I let the question fall away from my thoughts as I cradle her closer in my arms. Is she dead? No, not dead. She isn’t dead. If she had died, her body would be nothing but a pile of ashes now. I pull Sabrina closer, cradling my face in the crook of her neck. I softly whisper, “Don’t let go,” in her ear, hoping she hears me.

  A moment later, I feel her shiver—but it’s not a shiver. I place my hand against her neck and I’m shocked to feel a pulse. And her skin is slightly warmer. How can this be? I place my hand over where her heart beat once. I am amazed when I feel her heart beating, although it’s slow. Joy surges through me. Can it be possible that I healed her soul while trying to heal her body? I have never heard of this being done before, but no angel has ever willingly given up their blood, either.

  Just as I’m about to say something to Stille, her heartbeat stops. I keep my hand on her chest hoping that it comes back, but it remains still. Sabrina continues to lie in my lap, motionless. The small beat that was in her chest is gone but she’s still with me. I can sense it. I don’t know what any of this means, but I’m glad to still have her. Now comes the hard part: waiting to see if she heals and then redeeming her soul.

  Chapter Twenty Three

  Emma

  I watch Kayson hold Sabrina, and declare his love for her, with astonishment. It is a sincere act of love, yet the other fallen angels don’t seem to care too much for it. This doesn’t stop Kayson from holding Sabrina anyway. Never would I have thought a war betwe
en Heaven and Hell would unleash the most unearthly creatures in my parent’s backyard, but it happened. So who was I to judge an angel for falling in love with a vampire? At this point in my life, I believe anything is possible.

  Briston grabs my hand, giving it a squeeze, as he too looks at Kayson and Sabrina. He is still holding his arm close to his body and his leg is pretty messed up.

  “We need to get you to a hospital.”

  Briston looks himself over, then shrugs—with his one good shoulder. “I’ll be fine. First, we need to figure out what’s next.”

  I start to argue with him when Braylee and the others make a reappearance, barging out the back door. Their enthusiastic entrance is stopped short as the group of fallen angels turn to look at them. The two groups stare at each other for a minute, then Braylee, with her typical ability to ignore everything except what she’s thinking about, spies me and walks toward me. The others follow, still eying the silent angels.

  “So, things got a little more out of hand after we left?” Braylee gestures at the now-destroyed shed that litters my parent’s backyard. Lumber and metal lie over the crushed remains of my mother’s plants. This is not going to go over well. Maybe Braylee can help me come up with a plausible explanation as to what happened.

  Gaige steps in next to Braylee. “Weren’t you here for Round One?” His normal mocking tone is a little deflated. He turns to me. “That was Hell on earth, Emma. The question is why?”

  My friends give me their full attention. I’m glad to see Chase is up and walking again. After that last blow, I wasn’t sure that he would wake up anytime soon. But I’m not about to start in on this story. Not while we don’t even know the end yet. We still have things to do.

  “That’s a story for later, Gaige. What I want to know is why you guys came back?”

  Braylee narrows her eyes at me. “I came back because I was pissed. I couldn’t believe you thought I was such a mindless idiot. Did you honestly think some cold-skin crazy girl could hypnotize me so I would walk away thinking everything was hunky dory? Um, no. We made it about two blocks before I slammed on the brakes. If it hadn’t been for Chase’s urging me to go get Harper and Gaige, I would have turned around right then and there.”