The Education of Sebastian & the Education of Caroline

by Jane Harvey-Berrick

  Sebastian was standing in the middle of the living room when my friends walked inside. I could tell he was nervous, but to anyone who didn’t know him, he would have merely appeared arrogant.

  I introduced everyone, and Nicole couldn’t help herself, running her eyes up and down Sebastian’s body: it was practically a Pavlovian response with her when she saw a cute guy. Jenna and Alice had taken sneaky peeks, too; they were just more subtle about it.

  The girls settled themselves around the room, and then an uncomfortable silence descended, with everyone’s eyes fixed on me. I could tell Sebastian was feeling overwhelmed at having so many people in our small home, so I smiled at him, took his hand, and led him back to his favorite chair.

  I could see the pitying faces of my friends as they watched Sebastian limp painfully across the room. I wished they wouldn’t—Sebastian loathed being pitied—but their reaction was understandable.

  I perched on the arm of his chair, and he rested his hand on my knee. It was as if he needed physical contact with me to get him through what he clearly saw as an ordeal.

  “Well, you know what I’ve been doing,” I said, calmly. “I want to know what all of you’ve been up to.”

  Gradually the conversation began to flow. Sebastian was silent at first, but slowly Alice began to draw him out, asking about his plans to go back to school.

  “I was going to study Italian and English Lit,” he admitted, “but that kinda got interrupted.” He glanced at me and I squeezed his hand. “But I don’t know now.”

  “Lee says you speak several Arab languages, too.”

  “Plus Italian and French,” I added.

  Sebastian looked slightly embarrassed. “Well, yeah, I can speak Arabic, but I don’t read it well.”

  “Could that be something for you?” she asked.

  He shrugged. “I thought maybe I’d look into some paralegal studies. I’ve kinda been helping out a neighbor who’s got immigration problems.”

  “You didn’t tell me about that idea, Sebastian?” I said, delighted that he was planning ahead.

  “I haven’t decided anything yet, Caro, I’m still thinking about it.”

  “Well, there’s plenty of time—you don’t have to decide now.”

  “No, I can just continue sponging off you,” he said, quietly.

  He was still refusing to touch his disability pay checks, and the money was collecting dust in his bank account.

  The conversation died away, my friends staring everywhere but at us.

  “Sebastian, no,” I whispered, really upset.

  “It’s what all your friends are thinking, Caro,” he said, heatedly. “I can see it in their eyes.”

  “Don’t assume you know what I’m thinking,” snapped Jenna.

  “I agree,” said Nicole, evenly. “Because I was actually thinking that nearly dying in the service of your country earns you the right to time off—and if my friend is having as many orgasms as she says she is, you must be doing something right.”

  Sebastian looked startled, then amused.

  “Is that what she said?” he murmured, glancing over to me, before fixing his gaze on Nicole.

  “I’m paraphrasing, of course,” replied Nicole, meeting his eyes.

  Sebastian shrugged. “She taught me everything I know.”

  Jenna chuckled, and Alice laughed out loud.

  “Don’t mind me,” I said, my face glowing beet red.

  “Later, baby,” said Sebastian, taking my hand and grazing my knuckles with a kiss.

  There was a knock at the door, which was a welcome interruption to my public embarrassment.

  “I’ll get it,” said Sebastian, pulling himself out of the chair.

  Nicole’s eyes followed him across the room, then she turned to smile at me and winked.

  “You and I will be having words,” I hissed at her.

  “Just telling him the way it is, Lee. He didn’t seem to mind: I don’t know, is he the kind of guy who keeps score, because I dated a musician once who used to make a note of my orgasms in his diary, not that he could even tell which ones were faked.”

  “I’ve never faked one,” I batted back at her.

  “God, I hate you!” she said.

  I was half-listening for Sebastian’s voice at the front door. When he switched from English, I guessed who our new visitor must be.

  Nervously, Atash made his way into the room, smiling at my friends, while they turned to stare, giving brief, puzzled smiles back.

  “Hi, Atash,” I said, and quickly introduced them to him.

  He smiled again and nodded politely, but looked uncomfortable.

  “We’ll be next door,” Sebastian said to me.

  Then he steered Atash into the kitchen, where I heard him filling the kettle to make the horribly sweet tea that was traditional in Afghanistan, while they chatted away.

  “What language is that, Lee?” said Alice. “Is that Arabic?”

  “No, that’s Dari. Sebastian says it’s related to Persian not Arabic. He speaks Pashto, too,” I added, proudly.

  They looked suitably surprised, and I was pleased that Sebastian had had a chance to impress them with something other than his looks—or his hot temper. I knew that had been bothering him.

  “With those language skills, I’m surprised Military Intelligence didn’t snap him up,” continued Alice.

  I didn’t answer, but couldn’t meet her eyes.

  “Oh,” she said, knowingly, and swapped a significant look with the others.

  And then I heard Sebastian’s laughter coming from the kitchen—a long, loud, joyous laugh. I thought my heart would stop.

  “Lee, are you okay?” said Jenna anxiously. “You look…”

  “Sebastian’s laughing.” I could hear the tremor in my own voice.

  “Oh, honey,” said Alice, giving my arm a squeeze.

  “You’re doing okay, Venzi,” said Nicole, formerly Sebastian’s harshest critic. “I think you’re both doing okay.”

  Atash left soon after, hurrying out of the door, smiling shyly.

  “What was all that about?” I said, thrilled to see that Sebastian was grinning broadly.

  “Atash wanted to know if I needed some hashish,” he said, casually.

  Jenna and Alice looked slightly shocked, and Nicole frowned.

  “Excuse me?” I said, sharply. “I hope you said no.”

  Sebastian shrugged. “He said it’s good for pain.”

  I noticed Sebastian hadn’t answered me directly, and he so wasn’t getting away with an excuse like that—but it was a conversation to have in private.

  “And what else?” I said, eyeing him curiously. “What aren’t you telling me, Hunter?”

  Sebastian’s grin became wider.

  “He was wondering why I’m making the tea when I’ve got four wives to do it.”

  My mouth dropped open, and Nicole snorted with laughter.

  “Well, I hope you put him straight! Sebastian?”

  He grinned wickedly.

  God, I’d missed that smile.

  “I’ll put him straight, Caro. Eventually.”

  Jenna started to laugh and then Nicole joined in. Soon we were all laughing our asses off. Damn, it felt good.

  “You and I will have words later, Hunter,” I said, in a threatening voice.

  “Looking forward to it, baby,” he said, still grinning at me.

  After Atash’s visit, we moved outside to sit in my yard, enjoying the nice weather. I’d dug out an old sundress to wear, and had the pleasure of watching Sebastian’s eyes drift up and down my legs. I hitched my skirt slightly higher and raised an eyebrow at him, as his eyes followed my movement and he ran the tip of his tongue over his lips.

  “Oh, just stop it, you two,” Nicole groaned. “I haven’t been laid in months and you’re wafting all this sexual tension around. It’s so unfair.”

  Alice laughed at her. “Lee got lucky—and it isn’t like she hasn’t put in more than her fair share of w
aiting over the years,” she pointed out. “Besides, I’ve decided to give up on men: I’m going down the B.O.B. route.”

  I could see Sebastian was puzzled.

  “Battery-operated boyfriend,” I whispered in his ear.

  He smirked at me and sat back to listen. I could see he was intrigued, watching me with my friends, seeing a different side to me.

  Alice nodded.

  “No offence, Sebastian, but men just take up too much energy. Or maybe it’s just the men I meet. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been to dinner parties and listened to them droning on about football, or fishing, or how damn important they are at work. One even gave me a blow-by-blow description of building a model airplane. I mean, come on!”

  Jenna agreed.

  “Although maybe it’s just men our age. We should do what Lee has done and find ourselves some younger guys.”

  “I’d definitely recommend it,” I said, winking at Sebastian, whose eyes were flicking between Alice and Jenna so quickly, he looked as if he was watching a table tennis match.

  He grinned at me, while Alice continued.

  “Well, I’m a bit out of practice now, I admit it, but food has some serious advantages over sex.”

  I laughed out loud, and Nicole told her she was talking bullshit.

  “I’m serious!” she said, ticking off the points on her fingers. “Eating: you can do it every day, at least three times a day, with snacks in between; you can do it with as many people as you want, of any gender, and you don’t have to worry about their sexual orientation; there are more good recipes and restaurants than hot, available men around—and believe me, I’ve done some research on this; I’m not going to get pregnant or STDs by eating ice cream; and, best of all, even if you gorge yourself with different people every time, no one calls you a slut.”

  “You’re just a food slut!” yelled Jenna.

  “We should ask Sebastian’s opinion,” said Nicole. “Where do you stand on the whole food versus sex thing?”

  “Nic,” I said, knowing she was deliberately baiting him.

  But Sebastian didn’t need my help.

  “Caro’s a great cook,” he said, smiling at me. Then he whispered in my ear so no one else could hear him, “but I think you feed me well because you know I’ll need my energy later.”

  “Ugh!” shouted Jenna. “I know you just said something really hot,” she accused Sebastian. “It’s so mean of him, Lee! Come on, you could at least tell us what he said.”

  I shook my head. “Need to know basis, Jenna, and you don’t need to know.”

  Sebastian grinned, not looking the least embarrassed. I was relieved: sometimes my friends could be a real handful.

  After a couple of hours, I could tell he was getting tired. He was moving awkwardly, and I knew that sitting so long was hurting him.

  “Why don’t you go take a nap, tesoro,” I said, quietly. “We’ll just be yakking out here for a while. You’ve more than done your part.”

  “You don’t mind?”

  “Of course not. Just take care of yourself and rest.”

  He smiled. “Okay, but wake me up before they go?”

  “You really want some more?” I said, pretending to be shocked.

  “They’re okay,” he said, smiling. “They really care about you, Caro. That’s all that matters.”

  He made his apologies and left us alone outside. I knew their evaluation of him would be offered up any second.

  Nicole weighed in first.

  “Well, he’s even hotter in the flesh, Lee; hot-tempered, too.”

  “Both are equally true,” I agreed.

  “You guys look good together,” said Jenna, thoughtfully. “I must admit I had my doubts, but it’s obvious he adores you. Hell, that’s as good a start as any.”

  Alice nodded. “He needs to find a new direction, Lee. He’s not the kind of man who can just sit around.”

  “I know, but it’s still new. I’m not going to rush him. I’m just enjoying having him home and seeing him getting stronger.”

  “So when do you think you’ll be getting married?” said Alice

  “No, don’t encourage her!” whined Nicole. “This is baaaad. Where are we going to go to ogle hot surfer guys?”

  “You can still come here,” I said, laughing.

  “What? And ogle your husband? That’s just plain weird!”

  “That’s not what I meant at all, and you know it, Nicole! Look, you guys are my friends—you’ll always be welcome here.”

  Nicole rubbed her hands together. “Well, I’m going to enjoy making you shop, Lee—get you out of your damn jeans for a change, although I see you’ve made an effort today.”

  I smiled at her. “Nope, no shopping.”

  “What?”

  “I’m not turning into one of those Bridezillas: it’ll just be you three and Sebastian’s friends from San Diego. My friend Marc said he’d try and fly in, depending on the date. We’re going to see if we can get October 2nd—it’ll be Sebastian’s 28th birthday.”

  “Oh, God! Twenty-eight,” sighed Alice. “That sounds so young! Oh well, at least he won’t be able to forget your anniversary.”

  The girls were just getting ready to leave, and I was wondering whether or not to let Sebastian carry on sleeping, when he screamed loudly again and again, a chilling, heart-rending sound.

  Alice jumped and Nicole swore, but I was already on my feet and running.

  Sebastian was thrashing around, his face contorted, his body covered in sweat. I shook him awake urgently.

  “It’s okay, it’s okay, I’m here.”

  He clung to me, his breath shuddering in his chest.

  “It’s all right, Sebastian, it’s going to be all right, tesoro.”

  “Fuck, Caro,” he gasped. “I keep seeing…”

  “I know, baby, I know.”

  He covered his eyes with trembling hands. “I can’t go out there, Caro. I can’t see them like this.”

  “You don’t have to. Stay here, I’ll see them off. Two minutes, tesoro.”

  In the yard, my friends were sitting staring at the backdoor as I came out.

  “Jesus, Lee! What the hell was that?” Nicole asked for them all.

  “He was blown up, Nic—three people died in front of him, men he worked with. He gets nightmares.”

  “Are you sure you know what you’re taking on?” said Jenna, quietly.

  I shrugged. “I love him.”

  I could see the concern in their eyes and Alice offered to stay, but I needed to be alone with Sebastian. I promised I’d be in touch.

  When I went back to our room, the bed was empty and I could hear the shower running. Sebastian was leaning against the tiles, his hands outstretched, and the water pouring down over his head.

  I pulled off my clothes, and walked into the shower behind him. He turned, and wrapped his arms around me, and we stood together, letting his fear wash away.

  The next day Sebastian was in a foul mood. He was embarrassed that my friends had seen, or rather heard him, at his most vulnerable, and he blamed me. When I’d had enough of his sulking, I went for a long walk on the beach, and took my time sipping an espresso at a café on the boardwalk.

  After a couple of hours to myself, I felt ready to go home and face whatever emotional grenades he’d be tossing at me today.

  I think he must have been watching out of the window, because when I walked in, he was waiting by the door.

  “I’m sorry, baby,” he said, pulling me in for a hug and kissing my hair. “I know I’m being a dumb-ass.”

  “That’s one of the words I had in mind.”

  He smiled. “Yeah, I bet. Hey, I’ve got something to show you.”

  He took my hand and tugged me into the living room.

  “What’s that?”

  A beautiful, red cedar Spanish guitar was lying on the coffee table.

  “Your friend Nicole dropped by.”

  “Really?”

  “Yeah, a
pparently you told her I wanted to learn guitar. She said she didn’t need this, so she’s given it to me. We talked for quite a long time—seeing as I’d pissed you off and you weren’t here…”

  He arched an eyebrow.

  I decided to ignore that comment.

  “Nicole isn’t quite the ball-breaker you thought she was?”

  “I didn’t say that … but she was … okay.”

  “Praise indeed.”

  “Yeah,” he said, with a smile. Then he paused. “Baby, when did I tell you I wanted to play guitar?”

  “A long time ago,” I said, softly. “Ten years ago.”

  He stared down at me, his eyes filled with love.

  “You take my breath away, Caro.”

  He pulled me into a tight hug and I stood there drinking him in. He kissed my hair, nuzzling me softly.

  “Oh, hey. You got mail.”

  He let go of me and reached over to pass me an envelope that had been tossed onto the table.

  “On a Sunday?”

  “Yeah, it went to Mrs. Levenson’s house by mistake; she just got back from her grandson’s today and she brought it over.”

  I turned the envelope over, looking at the sender’s address.

  “It’s from England.”

  I frowned. I didn’t know anyone in England—not any more.

  I tore open the thick, parchment-type envelope and read the typewritten letter. As I took in the meaning, I couldn’t help gasping with surprise.

  Sebastian looked concerned. “What is it, baby?”

  I slumped down onto the couch, and handed him the letter without speaking.

  “Lawyers?”

  He sat down next to me and read through the pages.

  When he’d finished, he set the letter down and wrapped his good arm around me, pulling me against his chest.

  “I didn’t know,” I whispered. “She never said anything. I knew Liz didn’t have any family, but I never thought…”

  “It’s a lot of money, baby. What are you going to do with it?”

  I shook my head. I was still trying to process the information.

  The letter was from Dougal and Bright, Liz’s lawyers. She’d named me in her Will and had left me everything—her entire estate. She hadn’t owned much, but her small apartment in north London was worth over $550,000.

  “Why did she leave it to me? We were friends, but … I don’t understand.”