Deceit

by KERRY BARNES

  ‘There ya go, girl. For the baby.’

  Kara giggled. ‘Gosh, this baby is spoiled already.’

  Julie was hyper with excitement. ‘Well, it seems that they’re fast-tracking me case. Sharon has withdrawn her statement and hopefully they’re gonna let me go.’

  Vic kicked her under the table.

  ‘Aw, what was that for?’

  ‘You insensitive bitch, Jue.’

  Julie cast an eye in Kara’s direction. ‘Sorry, mate. Anyway, who knows, you could be out even sooner than me.’

  Deni was fiddling with a necklace. Her arms were stiff, so she cursed. ‘I’m fucking useless. Vic, unclip this for me, will ya?’

  Vic got up from her seat, still walking with a slight limp. She moved Deni’s hair aside and unclasped the gold chain.

  Deni then pulled the chain from her neck and held it in her hand. ‘Kara, I want you to have this, for good luck, babe.’ She held out her hand, showing a gold cross and chain.

  Kara looked at the beautiful gift and was overcome with emotion. ‘I couldn’t, Deni, it’s yours. You always wear it.’

  ‘It was me grandmuvver’s. Loved that ol’ girl. It’s always been me lucky charm.’

  Julie almost choked on her sausage. ‘Well, a fat lot of good it did you. It didn’t keep ya outta ’ere, did it? Ouch!’ she squealed at Vic, who had just sat back down again and kicked her once more under the table.

  ‘Actually, Jue, it did, ’cos, by rights, I should ’ave been looking at another ten years, so shut ya mouth.’

  Kara took the chain and smiled humbly. ‘I will wear it for the trial, and I promise, I will return it right away. It’s very kind of you, Deni.’

  It was Deni who now blushed. ‘No, Kara, I want you to keep it. I was gonna give it to me own little girl, but, well, she’s not ’ere, so I want you to ’ave it, babe. I can’t replace ya mum, but, nevertheless, I can be there for ya, can’t I.’

  Goose bumps covered Kara’s skin, and a warm feeling enveloped her as though Deni was her own mother. If only. She held back the tears, knowing that if she started again, she wouldn’t stop.

  Colette came over to join them. Her appearance had been changing weekly; her hair had grown, and her weight loss had given her chunky boyish frame a more feminine look. She even wore a softer expression.

  ‘I wanted to wish you good luck for tomorrow, Kara. I er … I made something for you, a handkerchief with ya name embroidered on it. It’s in ya cell.’

  Deni put her arm around Colette’s shoulders. ‘Good girl. So, I take it, you ain’t stabbed anyone with the scissors in your sewing class, then?’ She chuckled.

  ‘Nope, and the teacher reckons I’m a dab hand with the sewing machine. When I get out of here, I’m gonna start designing dresses, a baby range. I did want to be a midwife, but the truth is, I’ll never get employed, not with my record, and besides, I like making stuff.’

  No one teased or joked because they knew that Colette was making headway with her new look and attitude; maybe it was Kara’s character rubbing off on them. She was always the first to encourage anyone to make something of their life, all except herself. She was just waiting to find out what the future had in store for her. They all knew it too and tried desperately hard to make what she had as bearable as possible.

  In between mouthfuls of food, Julie said, ‘Oh, yeah, the parcel from Rocky is on ya bed.’ She looked at Vic. ‘The fucker never sent me anything, though.’

  Vic was clearly a little irritated by Julie’s behaviour. ‘Jue, that parcel was a surprise. You and ya big mouth. And as for Rocky buying you anything, shouldn’t it be ya ol’ man, Billy Big Bollocks?’

  Placing her fork beside her plate, Julie huffed. ‘Well, he ain’t got no money, ’as he?’

  Vic shook her head in annoyance. ‘That’s why Rocky won’t put his hand in his pocket for you. But he don’t see ya baby go without. He makes sure she has nice clobber and baby milk, but, Jue, like I keep telling you, all the time you are with that fat slob, Rocky won’t help ya.’

  ‘Yeah, all right, message received and understood and all that bollocks. Maybe I need to kick the fat slob to the kerb.’

  Kara turned her head to face Julie. ‘Not that I’m worldly-wise, like you, Julie, but I know you’re afraid that being without Billy will hurt you, and it’s heartbreaking; but you will get over it, and with all your family’s support, you will heal. I know I have, and I can tell you this. I loved Justin with all my heart, and his betrayal hurt so much that I burned the house down, but I’m over him, thanks to all the love from you girls.’

  There was stunned silence. They knew they’d helped her to survive this far in prison; what they didn’t know was they had also nursed her heartache.

  * * *

  Justin had to admit to himself that during their honeymoon Lucy had been every bit the copybook wife. They had enjoyed the romantic strolls in the beautiful countryside and the intimate moments sitting in front of the open fire toasting marshmallows. It was picture-perfect: the rugs on the floor, the smell of the wood-burning stove, and the exquisite meals she cooked. They played games – cards and Scrabble – and they really laughed together.

  She was somehow very different, more graceful and serene, and more like Kara. She had ditched her Barbie doll look and taken to not wearing loads of make-up and allowing her hair to fall messily around her face. She was learning very quickly what Justin liked and didn’t like and was doing her best to morph into the ideal woman for him. They had relaxed the first evening; she drank orange juice whilst he managed two bottles of wine. At every opportunity, she topped up his glass, so that when he fell asleep on the floor, she gulped back the rest, gagging for a drink. That set a pattern for the remaining days of their honeymoon.

  On the final morning, they were to leave at five o’clock to get back in time for the trial, but the previous evening, he didn’t want to drink; he needed to be fresh for the long drive back and decided to have an early night. It must have been the invigorating country air that had knocked him out. She paced the floor, with the bottle of wine in her hand; a few swigs were all she needed, just to take the edge off her craving. Come what may, she was adamant he wouldn’t be at court tomorrow. Without him, Kara could rot inside. She’d burned his house down, their home for their baby, so she deserved to be in there, and she would have a taste of how her own life had been.

  As the clock gently chimed midnight, Lucy hurried to the bathroom. She splashed water around her hairline, cleaned her teeth, and then she yelled as if she was in extreme pain. She waited. There was no response from Justin. So, she yelled again, even louder. She could hear the floorboards creak, a sign he’d woken up and was on the move. It was time to use her formidable acting skills once more.

  * * *

  As Justin wandered into the bathroom, all bleary-eyed, his heart nearly stopped. There was Lucy, all curled up in a ball, clutching her stomach.

  ‘Jesus!’ he yelled, as he kneeled down by her side. ‘What’s happened – is it the baby?’

  She groaned and nodded. ‘Oh my God, Justin, something is wrong; it hurts. Oh, please don’t say I’m losing him, not our boy.’

  He moved the wet hair away from her face. ‘It’s okay, babe. Listen, I’m going to call an ambulance. I’ve no idea where the nearest hospital is. Can you get up?’ He tried to help Lucy to her feet while she was bent in half.

  ‘Oh, Justin, I can’t lose our baby. He can’t come yet; it’s too soon. He’ll never survive.’

  Justin shook all over. She was right. He would never survive. He had to get her to the hospital and fast. Easing her onto the bed, he hurriedly looked for his mobile and was dismayed when he realised there was no signal. He ran around the small cottage, hoping to find a landline phone. But there wasn’t one. ‘Damn! What fucking house doesn’t have a bloody phone?’ he mumbled under his breath.

  Little did he know the cottage was a peace retreat: there were no phones, no TV, and no internet. He should have guessed by th
e shelves of books and games.

  He ran back up the stairs, panicking. ‘Right, let me help you get dressed. I’ll have to drive to the hospital. It will be all right, love. The satnav will guide us there.’

  Her face was full of sorrow and sadness, which made him feel so guilty for how he’d treated her over the last few months. He would make it up to her; he would put everything right.

  She gave him a pitiful smile and slowly edged herself from the bed and allowed him to wrap her long coat around her shoulders. He walked very carefully with her down the rickety oak staircase, and on the way to the door, he grabbed a knitted blanket. She slid her feet into her long fur-lined boots, and wailed again. ‘Oh, no, it hurts so much!’

  Justin told her to wait while he started up the car and drove it a foot away from the front entrance to the house.

  He opened the door for her and helped her inside. ‘Right, I need to set up this satnav.’ He turned the heating to full blast to warm the car up and hopefully to stop himself from shaking; he had to remain in control. In a panic, his fingers fumbled with the directions on the screen in trying to activate the device and find the nearest hospital. ‘Damn thing. I’m sorry, babe. I’ll get you there soon.’

  Lucy smiled inwardly; the longer he took the better. The satnav sprang into action, but Justin was panic-stricken: the hospital was so far away. ‘Oh my God!’ He looked at Lucy in horror. ‘It’s going to take ages. I don’t know what to do.’

  What if the situation was different and she really was having a miscarriage? It was a sobering thought.

  At that moment, Lucy felt as though she’d been released from a coma. Justin wasn’t acting like a man taking control; he was a bumbling idiot, putting the panic back onto her. Her shoulders slumped, and her heart felt heavy. What the hell was she really doing, taking another woman’s man, wanting everything that the perfect Kara had? The house, the lifestyle, the money, a handsome man. She now wondered if she’d actually thought it all through.

  It had been a game that had gathered momentum. It was a sick, twisted scheme that toyed with her sanity and urged her on to win, to take everything she could. At every step of the way, she’d been able to tick the boxes: reeling Justin in, making sure he woke up in her bed, making him believe the baby was his, the wedding, and now this. He was no hardman: he was weak and easily led, and she hated him for it.

  She really should have known that months ago. The signs were there, staring her in the face. He left Kara without delay, he assumed the baby was his, and he agreed to the hash of a wedding. What man in his right mind would ever do all that? Carl wouldn’t have. He would have laughed at her; in fact, he did laugh at her, often. She dipped her head and sighed. A glance at Justin told her all she needed to know at the moment. He was hell-bent on saving his baby and hadn’t even noticed that she was no longer groaning.

  He drove as fast as he could, along the black rolling hill lanes, gripping the steering wheel tightly. He never even looked her way, but just kept saying repeatedly, ‘Don’t worry, I’ll get you there. It’s going to be all right.’

  Even his pathetic voice now grated on her. Perhaps this was all normal. Maybe life with a hard-working successful man was different. She imagined his friends over for dinner with polite conversation and reliving pranks from their schooldays. She saw herself hosting the dinner parties with the wives of his business associates, their small talk of fluff and fairies. And then there would be the shopping sprees with his toffee-nosed acquaintances, stopping for coffee, whilst admiring each other’s children, and talking about schools and the brats’ achievements.

  Then her mind turned to picturing Kara, with her nose in the air and the intelligent conversation about politics or economics and discussing the latest horror of the day’s news. She imagined her serving quails’ eggs and beef Wellington followed by lemon sorbet, their guests clapping at her culinary delights. That had never been her. Yet it should have been. She should have learned about the finer things in life: the good job, the skiing holidays, trekking around the world discovering the rainforest, and enjoying the fine wines and exclusive dishes. She should have had it all: that beautiful house with the well-kept garden, and the vast kitchen as big as her entire poxy flat. She stared silently into the darkness of the rambling hills and black skies.

  She hated Kara for everything she stood for, and now she was in so deep that the game she played was not a game anymore, and her need to win seemed pointless. She wondered if she really could spend a life with a man she had no respect for. He wasn’t like Carl; she respected him, even though she hated him. But that was it. There was such a fine line between love and hate. She hated Carl for not loving her. Why couldn’t he love her?

  But he didn’t: he’d made it so clear that she was his go-to girl, nothing more and nothing less. All his bullshit about saving her from her bleak, miserable life and getting on track away from drugs and streetwalking was just that: bullshit. She could have done that herself. Why he had to come into her life and why she had fallen in love with him was incomprehensible. He knew it, though – he must have done. She’d played it cool and had acted like she didn’t give a shit, but she did; she cared very much.

  Fuck him. Then, as if she’d experienced a revelation, her devious mind went into another direction. Justin was weak and that only meant one thing: she could wrap him around her finger, and just like he’d left Kara in the blink of an eye, she could kick him into touch too. Once the house was built and she had her feet well and truly under the table, half of what he owned was legally hers. Her lips slithered into a smirk and she let out another groan. ‘Oh, no, it’s hurting again.’

  Justin grabbed her hand. ‘It’s okay, Lucy, we’re nearly there.’

  The local district general was unexpectedly busy, and so he wasted no time in parking in the ambulance bay and helping his wife from the car. The panic on his face caused the nurse to take control and Lucy was wheeled right away to the scanning department.

  ‘Shall I come or—’

  Lucy stopped him in his tracks. ‘No, Justin, I’ll be fine. You wait here.’

  He frowned. ‘But …’

  The nurse gave him a compassionate smile. ‘I’ll take care of your wife, and as soon as she’s settled, I’ll call for you. Don’t worry, sir, she’s in safe hands.’

  Justin nodded and kissed Lucy on the forehead.

  * * *

  The morning alarm rang through Kara’s ears, but it hadn’t woken her up, as she was already awake, nervously contemplating her immediate future. It wasn’t long before Deni and Vic made their way over to her wing, the governor having given them permission to help Kara prepare for court.

  Dressed in her new outfit, sent in by Rocky, she gave a twirl. The navy-blue swing dress hung perfectly, without completely drowning her, yet modestly covering her bump. ‘How do I look?’

  ‘Cor, Kara, like you should be swanning around some posh office somewhere.’ Deni laughed.

  ‘It’s okay though, yes?’

  Deni was admiring the girl’s gentle nature and elegant outfit, set off by her grandmother’s gold pendant, when Julie piped up, ‘Wanna wear a bit of me lipstick?’ She was showing off a bright red stick.

  Deni shrieked at her, ‘No! Julie, she wants to look innocent and sweet, not like a fucking tart.’

  Julie pouted.

  ‘Me brother’s got good taste, I’ll give him that,’ Vic said.

  ‘Oh, I don’t know.’ Kara chuckled.

  ‘All she needs to do is get that judge on her side and fingers crossed. Yeah, and if you get on the stand and the judge looks foreign, hide that cross – get what I mean?’ insisted Vic.

  ‘Yes, I will do, and I just want to thank you, all of you. If they send me to another prison from there, I’ll write and let you know how I’m doing. I really hope they don’t do that because I don’t think I could cope alone again.’

  Deni waved her hand and turned her face, too choked up to talk.

  Vic patted Kara’s shoulder
. ‘You just stay strong and remember we’re family now,’ whispered Vic.

  Julie gave Kara an awkward smile. ‘Yeah, they’ll probably send ya back, just to annoy me,’ she teased.

  Barbara was now in the doorway, wearing a smug grin. ‘Right, Bannon, your sweatbox awaits.’

  ‘Cunt,’ mumbled Julie, under her breath.

  ‘What did you say?’

  ‘I didn’t say anything, I coughed.’ Julie laughed, as she winked at Kara.

  * * *

  The journey to the court was spent wondering about Justin. She hoped that seeing his face wouldn’t put her off and cause her to screw things up. She had to be on the ball and not let herself or her baby down. She wondered if he would look different now. Had he grown his hair? Did he have a beard? Would his girlfriend be there? She shuddered at the thought.

  What was it that he’d seen in this woman? Perhaps she was prettier or sexier. She peered down at her protruding belly. He had thought her sexy, once upon a time. He wouldn’t now, though, not with a bump, swollen ankles, and a couple of stretch marks. Her mind switched to her mother and her throat tightened; she had to stop drifting back there, as it would do her no good. She would have time to concern herself about her mother and the carer, once the trial was over and done with.

  The holding cell was a blank canvas: there were no pictures or soft furnishings, pretty much like the one she’d been in when she’d been waiting to go to court months ago. She sat nervously on the edge of her seat and tapped her fingers, her heart beating wildly. The door opened and in bounded Stuart. He had a black gown on but no wig. ‘Good morning.’ He beamed, as if pleasantly surprised by her appearance. ‘You are looking well, Kara, but more to the point, how do you feel?’

  She stood up to shake his hand. ‘Yes, okay, I guess. I’m just anxious.’

  ‘Right, good news. We have Helen Blackthorn, a lady judge, who I am sure will be more understanding.’

  Kara smiled, and his face lit up.

  ‘She has four children herself.’ He winked. ‘So, it’s time, Kara. Are you ready to take the stand?’