by KERRY BARNES
Justin turned his head to face Lucy, only to find she still had a vacant look on her face. But she quickly seemed to snap out of it and asked, ‘Can you take me home now?’
He patted her hand. ‘Of course, darling. Do you feel up to the long drive, or shall we stay over another night?’
‘No, I’m fine. Let’s just get out of here.’ Her attitude was dismissive and blunt. Naturally, he assumed it was her way of dealing with the worrying news.
Most of the journey was spent in silence. Whilst Justin was trying to comprehend the seriousness of the possibility of his son being born with problems, Lucy was planning her next move. The game of takeover was becoming somewhat boring, and she was even contemplating the prospect of returning to her former life. Performing the next trick and getting a buzz out of being the best dominatrix in the business versus a respectable home with Justin, a baby, and a life free from worry for ever after – it was proving to be a very tough decision.
The window wipers moved back and forth as the heavens opened. The constant noise was annoying, and Justin’s silence was even more irritating. He was anxious about the baby, but she couldn’t care less about it. She just didn’t want to think about the child or the fact that he could be disabled. Having a kid was bad enough, let alone one with problems.
‘Do you want to stop for a break, grab a coffee, or something? Is there anything I can do to make the journey more comfortable?’ asked Justin, now in obsequious mode, which, on occasions, he was prone to do. It made Lucy want to punch him. Sometimes, Justin was the antithesis of hardman Carl. She needed to add that to her list of plus and minus points before deciding whether to ditch her husband or keep him.
‘I’m okay,’ she responded through gritted teeth.
Justin’s mobile phone interrupted their thoughts.
She stared at the centre console where he’d left his phone and noticed the word ‘Mum’ flashing. Justin glanced down and sighed. ‘I’ll call her back.’
Lucy had a gut-wrenching feeling that his mother had gone to the trial and had news to tell. She decided not to say a word.
A few moments later, his phone rang again. Perturbed, Justin forced himself to concentrate on his driving while he came up with a plan. It wasn’t like his mother to call twice like that. The rain poured, and the skies became so dark that he decided to stop at the next service station. He was tired, and the rain was making it impossible to drive safely.
‘What are you doing?’ she snapped.
‘I’m going to get a coffee. I feel too drained to drive. I need a break, before I fall asleep at the wheel.’
She knew he was lying. What a wimp, she thought. He wants to speak to his mummy. Add that to the list too.
‘Would you like a drink or something to eat?’ he asked, less attentive now.
‘No, I’m fine. I just want to get home, Justin!’
‘Lucy, I am taking us home, but we want to get there in one piece. Besides, what’s the rush now? Presumably the court case will be over, and I’m in no hurry.’ He snatched the phone.
She knew his mind would be back on Kara, and in a flash, she nearly bit his head off. ‘Christ, our baby could be damaged, and all you care about is that fucking ex of yours.’ As soon as he appeared to be concerned over Kara, she felt an overwhelming urge to complete her plan. Just saying the bitch’s name was sending Lucy into an angry place.
Justin was half in and half out of the car when he shot her a look of death. His eyes narrowed, and his face looked spiteful. ‘That’s enough!’ he spat, as he slammed the door shut and marched towards the food hall.
* * *
He’d tried his best to be kind and caring, but for the last two hours, she’d been cold and distant with one-word answers. Had she forgotten he would also have feelings? It was his son as well, and yes, he was worried about Kara; he’d promised he would be there as a witness, if need be, and besides, he’d let her down big-time. This wasn’t who he was; he could never be so callous.
The rain lifted, allowing him to reach the food hall almost dry. Once inside, he called his mother. As if she was sitting by the phone, she answered, ‘Oh my God, Justin, where are you? Lucas called me to say you were supposed to be in court, so I hurried there myself. I’ve been trying to call you for hours!’
He had left his mobile in the car whilst he was in the hospital. ‘Sorry, Mum, I had something else to deal with.’
‘Do you know what, Justin, you may be my son, but I don’t know you anymore. That poor, poor girl standing in that dock, sobbing she was. Justin, she was beside herself, and I couldn’t even go and console her …’ Her words broke off and it sounded like she was trying to hold back a sob. ‘She was so alone. She had no one, Justin, the girl had no one. And to see her little sweet face trying to take it all in, she was terrified, Justin, bloody terrified.’
A cold chill swept through his body as he pictured her there, standing in a grand but intimidating courtroom. ‘Did she get sentenced?’ was all he could ask in a pathetic schoolboy voice.
‘Yes, Justin, she did get sentenced; she got four damn years and six months. Four and a half years, Justin. That poor girl doesn’t deserve it. You should have been there, to show support, or talk with the solicitor, or to do something. What could be more bloody important than that, eh …?’
There was silence. He tried to digest the news; it seemed unreal.
‘Well, Justin, do tell me, what on earth was so much more important than being there? I would love to hear it.’ Her sarcastic tone rang in his ears. He hated it when his mother used that tone.
‘Well, actually, Mum, Lucy had to go to the hospital. We thought she was having a miscarriage, and they found that there is something potentially wrong with our son. He is not developing as he should.’ He hoped that would change his mother’s attitude and she would be more forgiving, but he was wrong.
‘Well, Son, you made your bed, you lie in it.’
‘Mum, how can you say that?’
‘I am sorry about your son, truly I am. But while we’re on the subject of babies, there is something else you should know. Not only is Kara locked away terrified in some prison, with not a soul to support her, but she’s also having a baby. She looks to be about five or six months pregnant, so I can only assume you now have two babies on the way.’
‘What?’ It was too much to take in; he couldn’t comprehend it, and his voice trembled under the emotional strain.
Mollie softened her tone. ‘Yes, Son, our Kara is expecting, and no doubt, she hasn’t told you because, well, I suppose she assumed you didn’t want her, since you ran off with another woman, plus she probably wouldn’t want you to worry. So, Son, as much as I could be sympathetic to you regarding this other woman’s baby, I have too much sympathy for Kara, right now.’ Once again Mollie’s thoughts returned to her own husband’s infidelity and how he’d supposedly fathered her best friend’s child.
Unexpectedly, his phone died; the battery had run out. He stared at the blank screen for ages. Kara pregnant, his Kara and their baby stuck in a prison, and it was all his fault. His hands began to shake, and for a moment he needed to sit down. The food hall was huge and filling up with customers. A bright green plastic chair by a small table was empty. Justin eased himself onto the hard surface and held his hands together as if he was about to pray.
The background noise of people coming and going was like a swarm of bees. Everything seemed to be detached, as he absorbed his mother’s words, and try as he might, he just couldn’t get his head around it all. For a while, he sat in deep thought until an elderly lady plonked herself down opposite and smiled. He snapped out of his trancelike state and smiled back, before getting up from his seat. He needed a coffee; his body and his mind felt drained.
‘Sir?’
He looked at the assistant, who was chewing her gum assiduously.
‘What would you like?’
‘Oh, yes, sorry, a double espresso, please.’
Back outside, not only had the wors
t of the weather moved south but there were also glimpses of sunshine. Unfortunately, this had no positive effect on his downcast mood as he hurriedly returned to the car. A glance at his watch showed he’d been ages, but this didn’t seem to register with Lucy, who appeared to be lost in her own thoughts, staring out of the window with a totally empty expression.
He took two large gulps of the coffee, placed his phone on charge, and pulled away. As he reached the roundabout, to join the motorway, he glanced at Lucy, and for the first time, all he saw was ugliness. Her sour, moody face was really beginning to annoy him now.
It should have been Kara sitting there after their honeymoon. She would have worn a pleasant and pretty face, probably with her head in a book reciting something fascinating, with her hair pulled up in a messy ponytail, and her glowing, flawless skin. She would be holding his coffee while he drove and passing it every few minutes for him to drink. Or they would, as they often did, listen to an old Eighties CD and sing along together. But it wasn’t Kara sitting there: it was Lucy with a face like a smacked arse.
* * *
Kara arrived back at Larkview. It could have been worse – she could have been on her way to Durham, reacquainting herself with Esme. She had been horrified when the judge had said four and a half years, but when Stuart explained that with good behaviour she would only serve two years and three months, she showed relief. It could have been worse, so much worse.
Vic and Deni already knew the outcome because Vic had called her brother and he gave her the run-down. As soon as Kara appeared back on the wing, she was greeted with hugs and a pat on the back.
Deni had paced the floor all day and was particularly relieved that they had sent Kara back to Larkview. The alternative would have been a blow to them all.
‘So, Posh, it looks like you’re stuck with us for a while, then?’ Julie laughed.
With a chuckle, Kara nodded. She was overwhelmed by the fuss they’d made.
‘Vic, your brother was there. Gosh, he must have thought me a right baby, blubbering the way I did.’
‘Nah, babe, he said you were like a fish out of water, but that’s a good thing. It probably saved ya arse.’
‘It was tough. I mean, Stuart said I had to tell the court I didn’t remember lighting the fire.’
‘And?’ asked Deni.
‘Well, I swore on the Bible to tell the truth, but I lied. I do remember starting the fire. I mean, I remember every bloody detail.’
For a second, Deni frowned, but then she thought about things. ‘My girl, there ain’t no one in this fucking shit-hole that ain’t lied to save their skin.’ She rolled her eyes. ‘Anyway, a lie like that will save you ten years inside, so come on, you must think of the baby, now.’
They all went into Julie and Kara’s cell. Vic was bursting to get something off her chest. ‘Listen, you need to start making arrangements. The social services will be wanting to have a word, so you need to have a plan in place or those no-good fucking busybodies will be making a plan for you. Get my drift?’
Kara nodded. ‘Well, I guess Justin will have heard that I’m expecting. His mother was there in the courtroom.’
‘What’s she like, the mother-in-law from hell?’ scoffed Julie.
‘No, actually I was closer to her than my real mum … well, what I mean is, I saw more of her while my mum was in Australia.’
Deni had her back to Kara, pouring her a hot chocolate. ‘Listen, babe, about this Justin. You say he’s a good bloke, although he fucked up. Now, mistakes aside, you do know he’ll be the best person to care for the baby for a while, don’t ya? ’Cos, as much as you’ll love the little one, Justin will too, and at least for the time until you’re released, you’ll know she’ll be in safe hands.’
Kara took the hot chocolate that was handed to her. ‘Yes, of course.’
At the end of the bed, Julie was giving Kara a knowing look. Never thinking before she spoke, she said, ‘Ya just wanna watch his bird. Don’t let him favour her baby over yours.’
‘Jue!’ hollered Vic.
‘Well, I was only saying.’
‘Well, don’t bleedin’ bother! Keep that mouth of yours firmly shut. You only make matters fucking worse.’
Vic took a deep breath. ‘This bird of his may well be a nice woman. We don’t even know her. She may have so much guilt for what she did, that she may see fit to care for your baby until you get out. After all, look at it this way. She’ll have all those mothering hormones floating about, and it’s my guess, the babies won’t be too far apart in age. They’ll be company for each other.’
Kara looked up over her hot chocolate. ‘I know you’re right. It’s just the thought that that bitch took everything from me, and it looks like she’ll have my baby too.’ A large tear plopped onto her cheek.
The room fell silent for a few seconds, each woman feeling their friend’s pain.
‘You said this Justin left you because he got this bird up the duff, and he said he still loved you, but he had to do the right thing. Silly bastard, if you ask me, but the point is, now he knows you’re having his baby, he’ll no doubt be running back, maybe begging forgiveness,’ said Deni, eager to stop Kara from breaking down into uncontrollable sobs.
‘He can beg and plead all he likes, but as far as I’m concerned, he can fucking do one.’
Julie giggled. ‘Go on, my girl, that’s it, you fuck him off, the dirty bastard.’
‘Julie, shut up!’ ordered Vic again. It may have been funny hearing Kara talk like them, but that wasn’t Kara speaking.
‘But she’s right though, Vic. I was in that courtroom, hoping in some way that he would be there, but he wasn’t. But your brother was, and he doesn’t even know me, and …’ she looked down at her dress ‘… he still made sure I had a beautiful outfit to wear and he sat there through the whole case, encouraging me. So, yes, if Justin ever tried to get back with me, I would, as Julie said, fuck him off.’
Vic listened intently. ‘Er, Kara, I know me brother is a bit of a handsome man, and he’s done good by you, but …’ She looked at Julie, who now had her head down. ‘But – and as much as I hate to say it, ’cos I love me brother – he ain’t right for you, babe. You are refined, ya know, posh and sweet. He’s a fucker, really. He comes from a different world. All right, he says he’s knuckling down and going straight, but his past is dark.’
Kara placed her hot chocolate down and sighed. ‘Oh, Vic, I’m not blind or deaf. I know Rocky is a bit of a lad and has lived on the other side of the law. I know to him this is probably just a bit of fun, but the truth is, I’m a jailbird now, so what does it matter what he did in the past?’
Vic shot a look at Deni. ‘You tell her, Deni.’
With that, Deni went and sat next to Kara. ‘You may be in this shit-hole, but inside you, you are still Kara. You ain’t lived a life like we have. As much as we love Rocky, he lives a life you would never comprehend.’
‘Try me,’ said Kara, feeling out of the circle.
‘Okay …’ She looked back at Vic, who nodded for her to go on.
‘I know Vic and Rocky because, as you realise now, I ran a brothel. I don’t hide the fact. Rocky was into many scams, ya know, drugs, organised crime, and that kinda thing. I met Rocky before I ever knew Vic. He was good to me. He would rough up a few punters, if they got too much for me girls and too much for me to handle. But I have to be honest. He liked a freebie.’
Kara screwed her nose up. ‘Freebie?’
‘A free bunk-up off me prettiest girls.’
‘Oh, I see,’ replied Kara, now rather deflated. ‘And did his girlfriend know?’ she asked innocently, to the amusement of the other three women.
‘Girlfriend! Our Rocky loves himself too much. Nah, he’s never had a girlfriend, the flash fucker,’ roared Julie, who was now falling off the bed in stitches.
‘So, why are you concerned about me, if he doesn’t want a girlfriend? I mean, I get the picture. He has everything he wants on a plate, if you like, does
n’t he?’
Vic stopped chuckling. ‘It’s because I’ve never seen him or heard him go on about a woman like he does with you.’
With her cheeks blushing, Kara replied, ‘So, what’s so special about me?’ She looked down and ran her hands over her belly, feeling her baby kicking.
Julie laughed. ‘He probably fancies a bit of posh.’
Vic whacked her arm. ‘Ya know what, Julie, you can be right vile sometimes. Just shut up! Anyway, Kara, to answer your question, that’s how I know he really thinks you’re something special, because I know for a fact, he don’t want kids. He hated seeing me mother pregnant and popping out babies, year after year. But it ain’t put him off you. So, this is the thing. When our Rocky has his heart set on something, he’ll do everything to get it, and right now, babe, it’s you. So, if you ain’t sure about him, or he’s just a man passing the time with you whilst you’re locked up, then, I think it’s best you put him straight, either way.’
Kara nodded; she understood completely what Vic was saying.
That night in bed, she lay awake whilst Julie snored her head off. She tried to think of the good times with Justin. Did she still love him? But it was marred by what he’d done to her, and then her thoughts drifted to Rocky. In reality, could she live that life? But then, what had life in store for her, now she was branded a convict, an arsonist? And there was no way she would ever get a decent job when she was released. And, there was her baby. What life would they have in a flat with no money?
* * *
After the silent drive to their flat, Lucy got out and headed for the front door. She looked behind her to find Justin still seated. She pushed the door open and glared at the cold, uninviting home. Quickly, she spun around; she could lose all her future plans, if she didn’t do something soon. She could feel Justin pulling away from her. She hurried back to him in floods of tears; instantly, she opened the car door and sat back down, sobbing like a baby. She couldn’t lose everything she’d planned for.
‘What the hell’s the matter?’ He wasn’t like before, wrapping his arms sympathetically around her. He leaned back against the driver’s door and stared.