“You’re saying this all happened because I didn’t tell Dex?” I ask incredulously.
“I’m saying that in normal people, it’s harmful to keep things bottled up. In your case, it has extreme consequences. Food for thought going forward.”
“He’s the one who kept something from me,” I point out indignantly.
“This isn’t a competition, Perry. You know why he kept it from you. Doesn’t mean it was the right thing to do. His actions have consequences too. This was something he was stewing over ever since you first stepped into that house. Having that worry at the back of his head constantly, well it’s no wonder that all that shit started happening to you. The two of you both have a power, and between the two of you…well, you know what happens, what that feels like.”
Oh god. She had a good long look at our sex life, didn’t she?
“Sorry,” she says, looking sheepish. “When I say I saw it all, I saw it all. But believe me when I say it was more than helpful.”
I scrunch up my nose, giving her an odd look. “Okaaaay.”
She folds her hands in her lap. “There are three things happening right now, and with a little luck, we can fix them all. One is that you want to get your friend out of the Veil. It sounds like your sister will be able to help with that, and no it doesn’t matter if you want her to or not, because she’s her own person with her own will and she will do as she likes.”
I cross my arms and grumble under my breath. I really don’t want Ada to do this, and I’m still holding out hope that Rose will get back to me.
“The second thing,” Dr. Leivo goes on, “is that Samantha wants to possess you in order to free herself. She’s got you at the lowest point possible. You’re already inviting her in. Your hatred for yourself is palpable, and she knows it. When she comes for you again, she won’t be alone, she’ll have that demon with her, and together they will take hold of you and I don’t know what to do after that, I don’t think I’m that powerful.”
My chin jerks back. “Powerful? What are you talking about?”
Since when is my psychologist powerful?
She lets out a soft laugh. “I have so much to tell you and so little time. Let me go on, while I still can. As I said earlier, Samantha wasn’t lying to you. She’s a witch and she can recognize power in others, whether they are witches or not. Like attracts like. She wanted to save you in a way. She kept that curse from getting you for as long as she could. But it owns her, it controls her in the end. So that’s what’s happening.”
“You make it sound like this happens every day,” I say, my chest feeling tighter by the minute.
“Thankfully it doesn’t. And you should know that too. Just because you went into that house, because you went seeking ghosts, doesn’t mean that this was bound to happen. It’s only because it was coupled with your need. I feel your need for a child, Perry, I know how big and strong it is. Had you not been feeling that, I don’t think anything would have happened at all. And you probably wouldn’t have ever been called on by Harry to begin with.”
“So, you’re saying having a baby and seeing ghosts can co-exist?”
“I believe so. But you have got to get a hold of your emotions, for your own sake and everyone else’s sake. I’m afraid that if you don’t, you could, I don’t know…cause planes to fall out of sky because of how angry and or sad you are. And the easiest way is just to talk about them. Let them out before they get too big. Not just with me. With Dex. With Ada. With your father. With everyone you try and keep at arm’s length.”
“So what do I do about Samantha? You said that we can fix it all.”
“I’m almost done,” she says. Her smile is less than patient. “Three, is that you are suffering from clinical depression. It’s normal. It’s especially normal for someone like you, who has been down this road before, and your family history. You have a lot of anger inside you that you haven’t faced, a lot of grief, and you have unresolved trauma from your past that you have not faced.”
I know all of this is true, but it still hurts to hear. “But I’ve been seeing you.”
“I’m a psychologist, Perry. We’ve been working through things together, but until recently I could only go off what you were telling me. And I can’t prescribe medication for you, and I really think you should be on something. With everything going on, especially the loss of the future when it comes to starting a family, all that unknown, it’s really important that we get you medicated and that you start seeing me more often. I’m going to refer you to a psychiatrist, just to get something prescribed for you.”
I nod. “Okay. I can do that.”
“Good.”
“That was the third thing,” I point out. “What can I do about Samantha?”
“It involves your husband,” she says with a wary tone to her voice, as if I’m not going to like what she’s going to say.
“How?”
Oh god, please don’t tell me he has to sleep with the witch!
She smiles faintly. “No, Perry. Don’t worry about that.” She pauses, leaning forward on her elbows again, her gaze searching my face. “You’re very weak right now. Physically, emotionally, and spiritually. You keep thinking that you’re hanging by a thread, and you are. You can’t keep her out, no matter what you do.”
Well fucking great. So much for being so powerful. It feels like any hope inside me just died.
“But Dex is not weak,” she adds. “He’s under a lot of strain and pressure right now, but he’s not weak. He’s very strong in every single way. Strong enough for the both of you.”
“He can’t protect me from her, though.”
“Yes, he can. But not from where he is. He has to get inside of you.”
My eyes go wide. “Like…sexually?”
Her lips twist to the side. “Not quite.”
Are things about to get really weird here?
“That depends on what you think weird is at this point,” she says. I guess my thoughts are just a free-for-all buffet now. “And how much of an open mind you’re willing to have.”
“I’ll consider anything as long as it has a chance of stopping this,” I tell her. Plus, my mind was literally open enough for her to walk around inside of it.
“Good,” she says simply. “Have you ever heard of sex magic?”
My mind goes back to the sex witch/sex magic conversation I had with Dex about our strange connection.
“I know what you’re thinking,” she says quickly. “I know what you discussed. I know that you have this intense connection between you that is heightened during sex. See Perry, sex isn’t just a physical thing. It has a spiritual and emotional component as well. At least all the good sex should have those three things as a part of it. But you two, well, you know you have something special there, enough so that you got you thinking about what it all means.”
“So, what does it all mean?”
“It means that you have a bond that’s stronger than anything else and the two of you always make sure to keep that connection fused, whether you’re conscious of it or not. This connection has saved you in the past, it will save you now, and it will save you again in the future.”
“The future? What do you mean the future? You can see the future?”
She gives me a tepid smile. “Perry, please. We have to focus on the present or there will be no future.”
She’s got me there.
“Sex magic is something different,” she says. “But your thinking was on the right track. It involves witchcraft.”
My eyes go even wider. “Witchcraft?!” I squeak, as if I want to dabble in that shit now of all times.
“You need to be a witch to fight a witch.”
“I’m not a witch!”
“I know. But with your energy, it really doesn’t matter.”
I blink, not sure what to say.
“Don’t even think of dismissing it yet. I haven’t even gotten to the good part,” she says.
Oh hell.
; “Sex magic is using sex to manifest something for yourself,” she explains. “Witches believe that there is divine power in sex, and that’s all very true. What it comes down to though, is the belief and the sharing of energy and using that to make things happen. Traditionally, sex magic can be used as an offering for deity worship, to attain knowledge, to be initiated into a tradition, to raise energy for workings, to empower sexual fluids for magical uses,” I wrinkle my nose at that, “to conceive, to empower a sigil, for healing, for protection, for a lot of things. That last part is the part that interests us.”
“Actually, all of that,” I wave my hand around, “interests me.”
Especially the conceiving part, but there’s no point mentioning it since she can hear my thoughts anyway.
“I take it you’ve heard of blood play,” she goes on.
“Yeah,” I say uneasily, thinking back to the pair of handcuffs under the bed that Rebecca gave us. There’s kinky and then there’s…blood play.
“With blood play, you take sex magic to the next level. Blood creates a bond. It binds you. Deeper than anything else. Combined with sex, it’s unbreakable. I take it that you and Dex have been tested for absolutely everything?”
“Yeah…” I’m not sure if I’m going to like where this is going.
“You’re going to need that bond, Perry. And you’re going to need to invite him in.”
“You said this wasn’t sexual.”
Though we have just been talking about sex magic.
“This is about a physical and spiritual act of possession. You need to invite Dex inside you, through sex, through the blood bonds, so that you carry part of him. That is how he’s going to be able to protect you from Samantha, from the demon, from everything.”
I shake my head, unable to wrap my brain around any of this. “Like…forever?”
“Not forever,” she says. “The bond is forever. The possession can be temporary.”
“Then what happens after? Won’t she come back for me?”
“You’ll have bought yourself enough time to get stronger, and if she knows that she can’t get you easily anymore, she won’t come after you. You’re special Perry, but there are others out there who have the same energies.”
“Like you,” I point out.
“Maybe,” she says. “But she wouldn’t dare.”
I tilt my head as I examine her. She looks like the perfect blonde, from her light tan, to her green eyes, warm smile, nice clothes. “You’re a witch too, aren’t you?” I say. “You’re Glinda.”
She watches me for a moment, her eyes sparkling.
“I try,” she eventually says. “Now, back to the blood play.”
“Of course.”
“I’m serious about this, Perry.”
I nod. “I know. I’m making a joke because I’m finding this really hard to deal with.”
And also, I just found out my psychologist is a witch. I guess now I have to trust her in what she’s talking about.
“It’s not a big deal,” she says, and then she stops herself. “No. I take that back. It is a big deal. You’re inviting your husband inside you, not just physically but metaphysically. I have no doubt that you’ll both be able to handle it, but it’s not to be taken lightly. But the actual act of blood play itself doesn’t have to be extreme. You don’t have to hurt each other. You just need to draw blood and mix the blood, while you’re having sex, and that sex needs to be…it needs to be had with intention.”
“Intention?”
“That’s what witchcraft is, Perry. Intention mixed with energy. The most important thing is to make sure you’re focused on what you want from the universe, what you need, and to take your time getting there. This is not a quick roll in the hay. This is prolonged foreplay with both of you brought to the edge in order to build up that energy before release.”
“So, like edging to the extreme?” I have no idea how we’ll survive that. Dex can go all night long, but I also don’t bring him to the brink and then back off either. That seems cruel.
“You’ll be fine.” She glances at the clock on the wall. “I wish we had more time.”
“Do you have another patient after?” I ask, wanting for them to be rescheduled since this is life or death over here.
"I do," she says. “But what I mean is, you don’t have enough time. You need to do this today, tonight at the latest. If you can do it outside, even better.”
“It’s December,” I remind her. I know Dex and I just had sex outside, but if we’re going to be dabbling with blood play, that’s a whole other thing.
“I know. Just do what you can.” She pulls out her business card and hands it to me. “Just in case you don’t have this anymore, that’s my cell number at the bottom. Text me tonight.”
“You want a play-by-play?”
“I want you to stay in touch with me.” She exhales through her nose, lips pressed together in a thin smile. “And when you end up going back to the house with Ada, let me know if you need me to come along.”
I stare at her. “Why?”
“Your sister will be successful with Maximus. She has that power. But I have my doubts that she’ll be able to keep Samantha back if she decides to come along for the ride.”
“And you can stop her?”
She nods. “I can stop her.” She grins to herself, like she’s laughing at an inside joke. “I’ve stopped her before.”
“Wait.” I raise my palm. “You actually know know Samantha? Like before she died?”
“It’s a small community,” she says, getting to her feet. “A little too small, sometimes.”
I’m too befuddled to say anything. I grab my bag and get up, walking toward the door.
She puts her hand on it, ready to open and I say, “Hold on.”
She pauses, looks at me thoughtfully.
“Since you seem to know everything, how do you know Dex will go along with any of this? I know he’s a kinky guy, but blood play?”
She puts her hand on my shoulder. “He’ll do anything for you, Perry. I’m surprised you even have to ask.” She then points at my neck. “Besides, seems like he has no problem with drawing blood on the regular.”
I press my palm there, where Dex has left various bitemarks over the years. Maybe his vampire tendencies were just a warm-up.
“You stay strong, okay?” she says to me opening the door. “And call or text if you need anything. Alright?”
“I will.”
I step out into the waiting room, and aside from her next patient, Dex is also there, waiting for me. I was going to text him when I was done, but he’s obviously not taking his chances.
Lana looks at him and nods. “Hello Dex,” she says.
Something passes between them, something that leaves Dex looking a little confused.
“Hey,” he says uncertainly.
Then Lana invites in the next patient and closes the door.
“What is it?” I ask, going over to him.
“Nothing,” he says frowning. He eyes the receptionist and then grabs my hand and pulls me out of the waiting room and into the hallway where we have privacy. He closes the door and looks to me. “I could have sworn I just heard her thoughts in my head.”
“What did she say?”
“To trust you. What did she mean by that?”
“I’m not sure.”
“You don’t seem surprised that she just put her thoughts in my head?”
“Oh, I never told you about that? Yeah, she’s a witch.”
Dex’s eyes go round as saucers.
“Come on, we need to go home,” I tell him. “I’ll explain on the way.”
Twenty
The drive back to the apartment goes by quickly, and I’m barely able to fill Dex in on everything. I’ve left the sex witch blood play stuff out because I think we both need to be fully immersed and ready for it when that happens. I don’t think it’s something you can spend a lot of time thinking about.
Except that I have.
Dex makes a stop at a pharmacy to pick up his medication and some other things and I come inside with him, not willing to be alone in the car. While we wait, I bring up sex magic and blood play on my phone and start doing some quick reading, trying to get an idea of what I have to do. Obviously if you want to get into the spell territory, you can follow very rigid (and graphic) rituals, or you can just go in with your own kind of flow. We’ll be doing the latter option.
The most important things I gathered from my research is that the knives have to be sterilized, you have to be careful where you cut so you don’t harm the other person, doing it outside isn’t as important as doing it somewhere meaningful, and as Lana said, the more delayed the orgasm the better, and that it should be done with love and respect and intention. This isn’t about the kink of cutting each other up with knives, it’s not about drinking blood (though that can help with the possession). It’s about inviting that person inside at a cellular and spiritual level. The literal melding of the souls.
They said the possession can last as long as the person wants. The person who invited the person in always has control (pretty sure this doesn’t work when it comes to demon possession, but whatever), and that it can be pretty jarring to both people, getting used to sharing a mind and hearing each other’s thoughts. At least in that, we already know what to expect.
“So, what’s the plan?” Dex asks as we step into the apartment. “In the car you said she had a plan. Least I think you did. This is still such a fuckload of information to take in. Who the fuck knew we were surrounded by witches?”
“I know,” I tell him. It’s dark outside now and we’re running out of time. I walk right over to Fat Rabbit on the couch and pick him up in my arms. I kiss him on his head and then bring him over to the den, closing the door on him.
When I turn around, Dex is staring at me curiously as he takes off his jacket, wondering why I just did that.
I take in a deep breath.
Here we go.
“Dex, I need to talk to you about something,” I say, walking toward him, hoping he can see how serious I am. “Something very important. Something that will save us. I don’t want you to think it’s a joke, I don’t want you to take it lightly, I don’t want you to push back against it. I just need you to know how grave this is, and why we must do it.”
Came Back Haunted: An Experiment in Terror Novel #10 Page 25