He felt Montoya come up behind him.
North Dakota? Mongolia? Where do you think we are? she asked.
Looking at the huge sky, Al remembered Cristoban, and Argentina. And Bey.
Right now it doesnt matter much, he said. Right now, our job is very simplewe follow these tracks. Were on the hunt.
Uh-huh. Hey, Alfie Alfred . Arent you even going to ask me?
Ask you what?
Why I kissed you that day.
He considered that for a moment. No.
Why not?
It doesnt matter. Whatever the reason was, it had to do with a moment a long time ago. Its got nothing to do with now.
Youre a hard case, you know that? They say you had about a year when you unplugged your ass. You even went to semifinals in a team competition, then dumped your friends like a load of smelly shit.
They werent my friends. They just wanted to win the games.
They thought you were their friend. Emory in particular was pretty torn up about it. He said it was like you had just cut them out of your head. He understood you were upset about Dr. Bey, and no one expected you to finish the games. They did sort of imagine you would talk to them again, though.
A sudden suspicion came over Al. Who put you up to this?
What? Put me up to what?
This. Trying to talk to me.
She stared at him for maybe ten seconds, and then burst out laughing. Still laughing, she walked back to join the others.
Two hours later the tire tracks vanished into a river, one of the oldest tricks in the book. They split into teams, two up, two down, examining both banks. Al took Nhan with him.
They met again four hours later. The news wasnt goodin each direction the river was bounded by bluffs too steep for even the most rugged groundcar, and to the south the channel got too deep to drive in, anyway. Where they stood was essentially the only place their quarry could have forded the river. And night was opaquing the pearly sky.
What wood they found was too damp to start a fire with, so they ended up huddled in sleeping skins, jackets on. Al turned the problem over and over in his mind, but got nowhere.
He awoke to a sharp jab in the ribs, and looked up Wearily to see a smiling Montoya.
Found the car, she said. She was dripping wet.
In the river, sunken, Al guessed.
Yep. Half mile downstream. Found some footprints in the mud, too.
He shucked himself out of the sleeping skin. Im impressed.
Are you? I didnt think anything could impress you.
Im impressed by a lot of things. The mathematical precision of Bach. The prose of Joyce
She squatted next to him. Are you? Or do you just say things like that?
That hit him oddly. He rememberedin sudden vivid clarity the feel of her lips, a moment of impossible intimacy in the midst of humiliation, and for a nanosecond it seemed he knew Montoya, had always known her. And she knew him, saw straight through to the middle of him. For that flicker of time, it seemed a pretense to act like they were strangers.
Lets go, he mumbled.
Montoya led them to the car, and, taking turns diving in the uncomfortably cold water, they did a hurried search of it. Again, Al felt the faint fingerprint of the same person who had challenged them two nights before. That made it easier to follow the footprints, which were almost imperceptible in the grass. After a time, however, it seemed pretty clear where the trail was leading; in the vast distance they could make out a small town, roads converging from several directions, including from slightly south of their own path. Soon they were walking on blacktop, and the sign of their prey was gone entirely.
This is very bad, Al confided to Montoya, as they approached the town. Two, maybe three thousand people in that town. How do we find him?
Or her. Youve got me. But well think of something.
Confident, arent you?
No more so than you.
She shrugged, but he could tell the comment pleased her.
You were raised in the Corps, werent you.
Yes. My biological parents were Corps, but they died when I was very young.
You sure about that?
Whats that supposed to mean?
I dont know. Have you ever seen any evidence that they really existed?
Are you questioning the Corps?
No. Yes. We should question everything, shouldnt we? Even if only for forms sake? How can we be good detectives if we make a habit of accepting assumptions blindly?
Why should the Corps lie to me about my parents? Theres nothing even faintly logical about that. The very thought was sickening. Montoya just didnt knowcouldnt know. She was a later who had been raised as a normal. Normals lived in a world of suspicion and violence, and it tainted them.
Look, he said mildly, my parents dont matter. They wouldnt if they were alive, except that the Corps would have two more valuable members.
Im sorry I brought it up. She touched his shoulder with her gloved hand.
A galvanic shock ran through him, as if he were a discharged battery suddenly exposed to current again. Again he remembered her approaching him, noticing him on the parade ground.
Why, then? he asked, trying to keep his voice flat, nonchalant. Trying not to inflect it with surrender.
Why what?
Why did you kiss me?
A smile pulled at her lips, but somehow it wasnt a capricious one. There was something honest about it, something personal.
To thank you, she said.
For what?
Its hard to explain. II had just come into the Corps. You have to understand, its different that way. Harder. Its very different from the outside world, and everyone is already broken out into cliques. I waswell, I was having my doubts. Frankly, I was considering running away.
That would have been foolish. Another girl
Fatima. Yes, I heard about her. But by that time I was okay, because I saw you.
I dont understand.
I had seen you there for days. When I walked past, you were dressed likelike Santa Claus with lipstick. And there was shaving cream all over you. You looked ridiculousI couldnt have stood there, like that. I couldnt have borne it. And the way everyone talked about youwhat you were going through was worse than anything that I could imagine.
And yet when you reached to touch my mind, and I felt you you werent angry, or ashamed. You were curious. You were just standing there, taking it all, and you were okay. Thats when I knew I would be okay, too. Now her grin became mischievous. And you were kind of cute. And I could tell that you thought I was beautiful.
I didnt
You still do. I see you looking at me. Why havent you done anything about it?
Because Because whats the point? What will it get me? Another chance to be hurt, another chance to be distracted. Excellence I can have, because it depends only on me. Happiness is an illusion, and for me not even that . He didnt say it, didnt cast it. It was the first time he had even thought it. Montoyas presence brought back that year of joy and sorrow, and it felt like remembering madness. He had seemed so full ofsomethingback then. Something hot and alive, likewell, like Montoya herself. Her mind was like a furnace.
And she was threatening to bring it all back, the madness, the weakness, the pain.
He noticed that they had entered the town. We had better get to work, he said.
* * *
chapter 11
« » This is hopeless, Nhan said.
Nothing is hopeless, Al replied, though he could not for a moment imagine in which direction hope might lie. They knew, at least, where they wereTuulu, a small town in the Altai Federation.
We arent going to find him just walking up and down the street, Vetsch said.
No. I thought I might catch a scent of his signature, but He furrowed his brow. This is like a game of cops and blips, right?
A game of what? Montoya asked.
Al blinked. You never played Psi Cops and blips when you were little?
>
But all three were looking at him in puzzlement. Laters, every one. They had no idea what he was talking about.
He remembered the Grins, each heavy word they had impressed upon him.
The others were pretending you two were rogues. You were not. You imagined yourself a Psi Cop, chased by rogues. But it is deeper than that, Mr. Bester. Whatever any of you were pretending, you are all members of the Corps.
Could it be that simple?
In cops and blips there are multiple goals, usually arbitrary. In this case, though, the goal should have to make some sort of sense.
Weve already checked the train station, the bus station, the car sales and rental lots
Right. So maybe the goal is arbitrary, after all.
I dont get it
Remember, this is a test, not a real hunt, or even a contest. Maybemaybe it isnt about catching the Blip, but about doing everything right
But a Psi Cops job is to catch rogues.
Sure. But sometimes you fail. Then what? Then you put out the word, report what you know, and trust the rest of the Corps to help you out. Where is the one place we havent gone since weve been here?
They looked at him blankly, and despite himself, he felt a smile crawl sluggishly across his face. The local Corps station.
Holy Moses, Montoya said. Why didnt we think of that earlier?
Because we were thinking of this as a contest. We thought we were competing with the Corps. Real Psi Cops dont compete with the Corpsnot even in training.
Montoyas eyes were wide. I wouldnt have thought of that.
No , he thought to himself. None of the rest of you could. Only me, only someone who grew up in a cadre. And I should have thought of it much, much earlier .
A huge grin spread across the Psi Cops already broad face. Well, he said, in precise Anglic. Are you here to give up?
No, sir, Al said. We are here to notify the local station chief that a Blip recently passed through here.
Catch me if you can, the cop said. Congratulations.
Thank you, sir.
Holy smokes, you were right! Montoya let out a war whoop and started dancing with Vetsch and Nhan. Al just stood there, feeling proud and stiffand somehow, despite it all, a little left out.
Unfortunately, the cop said, for logistical reasons, itll be morning before we can get you a connection back to Geneva. Ive got rooms for you about three blocks from here.
Whats the drinking age in this grad?
Drinking age? The cop pretended blank-faced incomprehension, then shrugged his shoulders.
Heh! Montoya replied.
To Alfie, Montoya said, raising her shot glass high.
Al looked dubiously at the amber fluid in his own glass. But the toast was for him
He sputtered on it, nearly blew it back up through his nose, and they laughed at him, but it was good-natured laughter, and Montoya was pressing a crescent of lime into his fingers.
Suck on this, she said.
He did, and that made things better.
Whew! he managed. He stared at their grinning faces. Sure it was illusion, sure it was temporary, but
He poured them all shots. To all of us, he toasted. This time it wasnt nearly so hard to drink it down.
Later, they lurched back to their rooms, singing. He would never remember exactly what. The air had become a honeyed syrupit almost seemed he should be swimming through itand he was acutely aware of Montoya clinging to his arm. Aware of her fire, of it eating up his own limbs, perhaps attracted there by the heat of the tequila in his belly.
At the rooms, there was a round of good nights, of jokesall hazyand then suddenly he was alone with Montoya, very near her opalescent eyes. She wore the same mischievous smile he had first seen on her.
Right, she said softly. And why havent you asked me to kiss you again?
Ibecause I He furrowed his brow. I dont understand the question.
Youre a smart fellow, Alfred Bester, but in some ways youre as dumb as a stick.
Look, this isnt smart, he tried to say, though it came out as shmarr.
cause were drunk, an He stared at her suddenly. We are drunk, arent we?
Never been drunk before, hey?
Wellno. The Corps doesnt
Hush. And then she kissed him. It wasnt like the first time; it was an explosion. It was as if all of the universal constants had just changed by a factor of two. From his classes in astrophysics, he knew what that meant: all the stars flying apart as fusion became impossible, whole galaxies disintegrating
Of course, he didnt care. He felt her lips, the taste of tequila and salt, and he felt her feeling his lips. He brought his hand up to press the cool satin of her hair and kissed back. He was, perhaps, over-eager, and neither were in good control of their bodies. They overbalanced and thudded into the door, slid in a heap to the sidewalk. Montoya laughed and kissed him some more. There was nothing even remotely playful about it anymore. He saw her, saw himself through her, and in that instant he wanted to really know her, everything about her, to make the illusion of the day before into a prophecy. He wanted to learn the shape of her toes. The names of her childhood pets. Her hopes and dreams.
How to unfasten her bra
She laughed as she unlocked the door, but she didnt fool him. She was as nervous as he wasit was only that she was braver, brave and fierce and lovely in a way he could never be. But he wanted it, to hold it, to plunge into her heat.
VetschNhan
In the other room, Alfie, she whispered. In the other room. Then she brushed the warm petals of her lips along his neck, and he stopped worrying about it. About anything.
* * *
chapter 12
« » Hey, champ! Elizabeth Montoya said, looking up from her books just as he came through the trees. She bounced up and into his arms, but when she darted her face forward to kiss him, her hair came between them. She laughed and pushed it out of the way, and her face materialized, right there. He seized the initiative and kissed her.
A year. A year and she hadnt realized her mistake, let him find someone nicer, taller, better for her.
He had expected it. From the first moment they came together in the motel in Tuulu, he had expected her to evaporate like every other happy thing in his life. He had stared at the beauty of her face in the dawn, and had mourned the passage of time and the pain it would bring him when she finally awoke. Instead, when her eyes had opened, she had grimaced at her hangover, but kissed him anyway. They ate breakfast together, and she used the pronoun we a lot Any questions had somehow been asked and answered in the night.
A year of furtive meetings, of time stolen. Each and every time he saw her, he feared it would be the last.
But now
So whats this big news? she asked, leaning back so their bellies pressed together, but he could see her whole face, undistorted.
He cleared his throat, suddenly feeling shy.
Were a match, he said.
Im a match. Youre dry wood. Ya wanna get together?
No, Im serious. I mean were aahwere a genetic match.
Al, youre shaking.
Ahyes, I guess I am.
Her eyebrows steepled. Are you saying you had our genetic profiles run? To see whether we can have Corps-certified babies?
Yes.
Oh. Um. Can I ask why?
Well, becausewell, I thoughtlook, Im not trying to rush you, Liz. I know things might change, I know you might not want me by the time we finish our training. Well both be interning soon enough. But I love you, Elizabeth Montoya, and now we know
Whats all this got to do with genetics? Alfred Bester, I love you, too. And you damn well know Im going to be with you when we finish our training. But Ill be damned if I need the Corps permission to make babies with you, if thats what I want.
ILiz, I understand your feeling about it, but we have to be realistic, right? And anyway, this is perfect! Theres no way they can object now.
She looked as if she was going to argue more
with him, but then her face cleared, she shrugged, and she kissed him again. She drew back, comets dancing in her eyes. You do love me, dont you? You wouldnt have checked if you didnt Im sorry, Al. I feel so close to you, sometimes I forget that we grew up in such different worlds. This means a lot to you.
He nodded solemnly. She mussed his hair and then kissed him once more, a slow, languorous kiss that spoke more than words.
The virtue of a kiss, he had learned, was just that. In and of itself, it was no large thing; flesh pressing together, a somehow always-unanticipated tickle. But when he and Liz kissed, it was expression, an attempt to communicate the incommunicable. To showwith the care one took, with this or that slight inflection in the grammar of lip, cheek, tongue, chinwhat lay in their hearts. For the first time he pitiedtruly, deeply pitiedmundanes, who could never possibly know how powerful and deep a kiss could be, much less lovemaking.
No wonder they were mean. They were like he had been, without Liz. Unfinished, half-made things, angry because they understood they were missing something important, that other people had itbut never, never able to know it themselves.
Lets go somewhere, she said, when they left. Lets celebrate. But he felt it, in the kiss. He could no longer pretend that it was his imagination. Finally, something had gone wrong.
A year ago, that would have been enough for him. He would have cut his losses, as he had the loss of Cadre Prime, of Bey, of Emory and the rest. But he could no longer imagine life without Liz Montoya. He couldnt see his future without her eyes, her smile, her soul near his.
She was covering it for his sake, but the genetic matching bothered her, and it bothered other things in her he had been trying to ignore. Still, this time, he couldnt give up. He had to know what was coming between them. Because he had no doubt that she loved him. He could feel her affections like a fixed star. Couldnt he? Or had he become that big a fool?
A celebration it is, he said softly.
He took her hand across the table and studied her candlelit face. I thought the news would make you happy.
Babylon 5 11 - Psi Corps 02 - Deadly Relations - Bester Ascendant (Keyes, Gregory) Page 14