“To be honest, I don’t mind the way I look. I like it. It’s what I’ve known my whole life, and I don’t want to change.” It would probably make me feel like an imposter. Of course I didn’t want to change.
“Good, because you don’t have to. That’s the beauty of it. You can dress anyway you want. If this is what you like, and what’s comfortable to you, then so be it. Don’t let anyone try to change you.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it. I don’t mind not fitting in. I don’t mind being different. I’ve known I was different my whole life. The only thing I ever wanted to change was living with my father, and I’m here now. I couldn’t be happier.”
She squeezed my hand. “Good, because I don’t want you anywhere else. Tell me more about this boy.”
“Well,” I giggled. “He’s got really light eyes, almost see through. I didn’t look at them long because I got all flustered and shy.”
“He sounds cute. I should probably warn you that boys can be very charming when they need to be. They could charm the pants right off of you, or skirt.”
“Aunt Darcy, please.” I slammed my hand over my face. “Can we not have this talk? I assure you that I’ve already talked about human reproduction with my mother.”
“That’s great, but she’s never met the boys that are walking around here in the real world. I just want you to be prepared.”
“Thank you. Let’s cross that bridge if we ever get to it. We only introduced ourselves. He probably doesn’t even remember my name.”
Her hearty laugh filled the room. “I’d bet my paycheck that he hasn’t forgotten your name.”
What did that mean? Was he thinking about me? I highly doubted that. It was funny to hear myself talk about him though. I guess maybe I did have a crush on this boy that I barely knew.
It was harmless, and bound to happen sooner or later.
“Want to go out to eat for supper tonight?” She asked.
“That sounds fun. Let’s do it.”
“Maybe we could go to the movies too.”
“Really, we can?” I nearly bounced off the couch in excitement.
“For sure. Girl’s night out is happening. Go get ready.”
She didn’t have to ask me twice. I brushed out my hair, put on my grey sweater, and changed into my only other pair of shoes. I was ready.
Dinner was great. At least what I tasted of it. I ate so fast that I nearly made myself sick. I was excited to get to the movies.
We were in line to get popcorn when I heard someone call my name.
Both Darcy and I turned around.
“Kennedy.” I smiled. “What are you doing?”
“Duh Grace. This is a movie theatre.” She joked.
I smiled big. “Right of course.”
The group of girls with her were staring me down. I shifted a bit on my feet at the sight of them too. “These are my friends Amanda, Kate, and Madison.” Kennedy said, introducing the girls.
“Nice to meet you.” I replied.
Not one of those girls said hello to me. They eyed me as though I had two heads. I guess they’d never seen anyone that looked like me. I couldn’t believe that though. I was just plain; it wasn’t like I had purple hair and facial piercings. Oh well.
Kennedy continued to smile as I introduced her to Aunt Darcy. She was much different than her friends. She never looked at me any differently. She was kind and spoke to Aunt Darcy as if she hadn’t just met her.
“Enjoy your movie.” I said to Kennedy as we took our popcorn and walked away.
“See you tomorrow at work.”
“Right, see ya.” I called back. She really was a nice a girl. I loved working with her. It felt so good that she’d made an effort to talk to me. We truly were friends.
“She seemed nice.” Darcy said, as we took our seats in the back of the room. This wasn’t the first time I’d been to the movies, but it was the first time I’d seen anything that wasn’t a musical. That was all that we were allowed to see at home, and they were rare. We maybe went once my whole life.
“She really is.” I didn’t say anything else.
“I’m sorry those other girl’s were such bitches.” She said.
I shook my head and smiled. “It’s nothing I haven’t seen before. I don’t mind. I know I’m not like them, and I’m okay with that. They’re the ones with the problem, not me.” I stuffed my mouth full of popcorn, as full as I could get it.
“You are a special girl, you know that? I am so proud of you. Not many girls your age would let something like that roll off their shoulders.”
“When you’re used to standing out, then fitting in is nonsensical.”
“Always remember that Grace.” Aunt Darcy had a serious look in her eyes. “Fitting in is overrated.”
I smiled at her and settled back in my chair. I would. I was born to stand out, and I didn’t intend to change for anyone. I loved myself.
No one would change me.
No one.
8
Jackson
Sleeping was for the dead, I supposed. It sure as hell wasn’t for me. I stayed up late to try and finish more class work, but wound up with one thing on my mind. Or one girl I should say.
It had been a long time since I’d let one person occupy that much of my time. I couldn’t escape her. She was unusually different. So much so, that I wanted to laugh at her one moment, and bend her over that librarian desk the other.
Gah. Why couldn’t I get her off my mind?
For the first time in a while, I was the one running late. Nothing was working right. My one-track mind was on the wrong path. I couldn’t get anything to work this morning, and it was pissing me off. It was almost like having two left feet and hands that didn’t work.
Kennedy screamed at me twice to get my ass in gear.
“I’m coming.” I growled.
I needed an energy drink bad.
Mom told me last night that Kennedy’s car still wasn’t ready. Of course it wasn’t. I was stuck with her at least for the next two days. JOY!
“Should I drive?” She eyed me curiously.
“Hell no.” I pushed past her, out the door.
“Your shirt is on inside out.” She yelled.
“SHIT!” I tossed my bag in the back of the car. I rolled the shirt off my back and fixed it quickly. “Get in the car.”
“What’s with you today?” Kennedy asked.
“I just didn’t get much sleep. That’s all.”
“Maybe you should quit spending so much of your night time hours with Holly. That might help.”
“Maybe you should mind your own business,” I slammed the door closed. “Besides my lack of sleep has nothing to do with Holly.”
“Right.”
“Yeah. Right.” I put the car in reverse. “I’m in a mood, can we just have some silence this morning please?” I ran my fingers through my hair.
“My pleasure.” She replied.
I only had one class today, and then an afternoon weight session with the guys. Off-season training was sometimes more exhausting then regular practices, especially when I was running on three hours of sleep.
I could barely stay awake in class. My eyes were so heavy, and I don’t think I heard a single word that the professor said. Lucky for me Holly was in this class too. She was the note taker. I could get everything I needed from her.
“Why are you so tired to day?”
I placed my hand on the small of her back and helped her walk a little faster out of the room. “I told you earlier that I didn’t get much sleep.”
“Why?” She asked, as she dug around her suitcase of a purse.
“I had a paper that needed to be finished, and I’m still not done.” I didn’t have the energy to argue with her. Not today.
“Okay, well, am I gonna get to see you later tonight?”
“I doubt it babe,” I added a little extra sugar so that she wouldn’t aggravate the hell out of me. “After weights I’m going back to the library to
try and finish my paper. I won’t be home until late.”
Her bottom lip stuck out, and made me chuckle. “Stop that. We’re going out this weekend.”
“Fine, but I’ll miss you.”
“Mmm… How much?” I leaned down and kissed her lips lightly.
She wrapped her arms around my neck and deepened the kiss. “A lot.” She nipped my bottom lip.
For one whole minute, I almost forgot that I had a ton of things to do. Almost. That was the effect she had on me.
“I got to go babe.”
“Okay, but call me later.”
“I will.” I waved bye and watched as she walked away. Her tight little ass swayed back and forth with each step. She had the cutest butt. I loved watching her walk away. There was much pleasure in the curve of a woman’s back where it met her plump ass, an irresistible pleasure.
I had to shake off the dirty thoughts to keep myself from sporting a boner in front of the guys.
When she walked through the double door and out of my sight, I ran off to the weight room. I was fifteen minutes early. There was no way I was going to give the coach any reason to be pissed off again. He could be brutal.
“My sweaty ass balls are glued to the side of my leg,” Worm yelled out from the bench next to mine. “I’m hitting the showers.”
“Seriously man,” I huffed out a large breath while lifting the bar high above my head. “I didn’t need to know that.” A soft laugh escaped me.
“Just keeping it real.” He called out tossing his sweaty rag in my direction.
“You’re going to The Edge this weekend right?” Jeremy asked. He stood behind me and helped me place the bar back in place.
I sat up and wiped the sweat from my face. “I told you I don’t know yet. Probably, but I have to see how much work I get done today and tomorrow. I don’t need more reasons to fall behind.”
“You’ll be fine.” He insisted. He always insisted. He could be as needy as Holly sometimes.
I rolled my eyes and stood up from the bench. I let out an exasperated breath as I walked over to where the barbells were lined against the wall. Grabbing my choice of weight, I sat down on the bench close by. Slowly I curled the weight up to my chest.
“Coach isn’t even in here. Why are you still lifting?” Jeremy made his way over next to me.
“Some of us still do as we’re told you know? We can’t all be so perfect on the court and slack off.” I retorted.
“Psh.” He smirked. “Whatever, I’m going to take a shower. You better come this weekend.”
Nodding my head I replied, “You know I’ll probably be there.”
My response sufficed him. It didn’t take much to twist my arm. He knew I’d come. That’s probably why my grades were for shit. Too many times I’d went to The Edge or someone’s house party or even spent the night cozied up in the bed with Holly.
Grades didn’t come easy to me. I always had to work hard to rake by, but add slacking off on top of it and it made for a disaster. Now I’d have to spend the rest of the semester digging myself out of the hole I’d buried myself in.
“Quitting time Jack.” The coach called out to me as he walked back into the weight room from his office. I was the only one left in the room and he waved his clipboard around so that I’d notice I was alone.
“Got it coach.”
I placed the weights back against the wall and rushed off to the showers. No one else was in there thankfully, because I wasn’t in the mood to listen to there bullshit. I wanted to hurry and finish and get my ass to the library. Rubbing my hands hard against my scalp I let the warm water rush down over me and rinse away the shampoo.
My record timing shower had me at the library only fifteen minutes after weights was over. The door opened easily, and as I walked inside I immediately scanned the desk for Grace. I knew that she’d be there somewhere. However, I didn’t see her as I walked in and found a table close to the back and beside the window. The seclusion was always nice. I needed complete silence to work. My brain wouldn’t function otherwise.
A couple of times I looked up from my notebook in search of the girl that I couldn’t keep my mind off of. I never saw her though. Maybe she hadn’t come into work after all. I buried myself deeper into my books and tried to pound out some work. She’d just be a distraction anyway.
I don’t know how long I sat there, but I was aware that I had read the last paragraph three times and still had no clue what it said. My eyelids were too heavy and I’d started to lose focus.
“Jackson.” I heard a soft voice call out my name.
When I looked up I saw Grace standing there across from my table. Her head tilted slightly to the side and her blonde braid laid flat against the front of her shirt. I started to speak, but I guess I’d been staring too long. She spoke instead.
“I brought your jacket back. I wasn’t sure if you would be here.” She hesitated. “It’s behind the desk up front.”
“Oh right, my jacket.” I smiled up at her and watched as she shifted her gaze to the floor, and I couldn’t help but smile bigger. She was so shy. “You can keep it if you need it.”
“That’s okay. I’m fine.” She replied.
She took a step back, and I knew that she was about to walk away. I quickly spoke again hoping to keep her there a little longer.
“Hey, do you know anything about college Lit?”
She shook her head and pressed her lips together tightly. “I don’t know. I’ve never taken any college courses.”
I sat my pencil down on the notebook in front of me, and leaned back in my chair. “I’m supposed to write a paper on one of the books on the professor’s list. We had to randomly choose them out of a bucket he passed around the room.”
“That sounds exciting.” Her eyes lit up. “Which book did you choose?”
I held up the paperback and glared at her.
I could tell she was fighting back laughter. “I’m sorry.” She tried to keep a straight face. “You just don’t strike me as a Jane Eyre kind of guy.”
I sat there for a minute keeping a stern look on my face, but I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I had to laugh too, because she was right. Just her face alone was making me it hard for me to keep my composure.
“I’m sorry.” She apologized again.
“No, I don’t mind. It was funny. You were funny.” I said. “So have you read Jane Eyre, because you do seem like that kind of girl”?
“I have.” She nodded.
I knew it. “Good, sit down.”
“I can’t. I have to get back to work.” She pointed over her shoulder.
“It’ll be okay. I just need someone to read what I’ve written. I have to have a second opinion. My grades are depending on it.” I pouted my lip hoping to sway her decision.
She looked over her shoulder, and then towards me. “Okay.” She held out her hand.
I handed her my paper, and leaned back and watched her as she read.
She hadn’t even made it through the first page when she sat the paper back down on the table.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Uh,” she hesitated.
“Just say it.”
“You haven’t read the book.” She blurted out.
“Yes I have,” I lied.
“Nope.” She shook her head.
“Okay fine. So I skimmed it. Not a big deal.”
“You have to read the book.”
I growled under my breath. “I don’t have enough time now to read the book, and I need a good grade.”
“Well, I’m no literature professor, but he or she will know you didn’t read it. Your information is all wrong.”
“SHIT!” I called out a little too loud.
Grace flinched at my words and took a jolting step back.
“I’m sorry, I just,” I paused for a moment and ran my hands through my hair. “My grades are all ready in the tank and I needed to get a decent grade on this paper. My basketball scholarship is on the line
.”
I’d fucking read the book if I had the time, but I don’t, and now I’m screwed.
“Um,” Grace started to speak and I looked up to see a sympathetic look on her face. “I can help you if you’d like.”
She was serious. I could tell. She wouldn’t lie. Girl’s like her didn’t lie.
“You’d do that?”
She shook her head yes, and stepped closer to the table. “We’re closing in about an hour, so I could help you tomorrow if you want. I don’t have to work tomorrow.”
“It’s due tomorrow,” I interjected.
Her cute little nose scrunched up tight when she said, “Well shoot.”
I had to laugh at her. Her words were adorable and delicate just like her.
“Just say it. I want to hear you say it.” I laughed.
“Say what,” she said.
“Shit.” I smiled big. “Come on little Gracie.” I teased. “Say it.”
She rolled her eyes. “What? You think I can’t say it.”
“Nope. You’re innocent little mouth has never said those words.”
She shook her head. “You have no idea what my mouth has said,” and her eyes grew big at her confession. It was as if she couldn’t believe she’d said it.
“What are you guys talking about?” Kennedy said.
“I’m just corrupting your girl here.” I admitted.
“Don’t listen to a single word that comes out of his mouth. He’s filled with useless information and shit.”
Grace smiled.
“Grace here has kindly agreed to help me finish my paper for my lit class.”
“Oh really.” Her voice was exaggerated.
“I don’t know when I’ll have the time.” Grace said. “Didn’t you say it was due tomorrow?”
“Yeah, but I can come over to your place after you get off work tonight.”
“Uh.”
I thought about the words and realized that she’d probably be uncomfortable. Maybe I pushed her too quick.
“Unless you have plans. In that case I’ll just be up until sunrise, no big deal.” I let the guilt settle in.
She let out a sigh. “Let me just call my aunt and make sure she doesn’t mind.”
Yes! She was easily persuaded. I didn’t even have to stick out my lip. It was my chance to be alone with her, even if all we were doing was studying. Plus, I was going to ace this paper for Lit class.
I Am Free Page 5