The Breath Between Waves

by Charlotte Anne Hamilton

  Ruby swallowed audibly. “So… That’s all this is? Just following procedure and giving your crew a taste of what it’d be like during a real emergency? There’s…nothing to it?”

  The steward’s smile twitched a little. “Not at all. Don’t forget, miss—our Titanic is unsinkable.” Then the man retreated from their room and disappeared down the corridor.

  “Did you believe a word he said?” Penelope asked after a moment, watching the other passengers and stewards bustling about.

  “Not a word,” Ruby replied, looking at the lifebelts still strewn haphazardly across the sofa.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Penelope was the first to move.

  She strode forwards, and without much thought, slammed the door to their room shut.

  She then turned to find Ruby staring at the lifebelts with wide eyes. Taking a deep breath, Penelope cupped Ruby’s jaw with her fingers, watching as they trembled against the soft, pale skin.

  Ruby finally shifted her gaze away from the sofa to Penelope, who smiled the second those soft blue eyes met her own.

  “Hello,” Penelope whispered, her thumbs rubbing gentle lines along Ruby’s sharp cheekbone. “Come back to me. Don’t get lost in there.” She lifted one hand so that she could tap against Ruby’s forehead.

  The action brought a smile to Ruby’s lips, a sight which caused Penelope’s heart to soar. It usually did that anyway, whenever Ruby smiled at her—she had such a beautiful smile, after all. It was so easy, the kind that beckoned everyone around her to join in.

  Penelope closed the space between them, pressing another petal-soft kiss to Ruby’s lips. It seemed odd that the kisses they had been sharing mere minutes ago had been far fiercer and more passionate. This kiss was as soft as a breeze.

  “I suppose we should head up to the deck,” Ruby said when they parted. Her hands covered Penelope’s, still framing her face. She threaded their fingers together. “Since that’s what they want us to do…” Her eyes darted briefly to the lifebelts. “Do you… Do you want to go to your parents’ room? To check on them?”

  Penelope gnawed on her lower lip, considering Ruby’s words, before she ultimately shook her head. “Father told me to wait and see if stewards came knocking. And ours did say to put the lifebelt on and go on deck. My parents are sticklers for rules, they’ll follow the steward’s orders, then look for me up there.”

  Ruby nodded, giving a low hum as she lowered their hands from her face. “Of course. My family will no doubt be the same. Victoria and Frank will look after Liam and Julia. And Daddy will be with His Grace.” She nodded again, as if confirming her own assumptions.

  Swallowing down the lump in her throat, Penelope moved over to their luggage, which had slowly merged over the four days they had spent together.

  She fished out two scarves and two pairs of gloves. “It’ll be cold, this far out in the Atlantic and so close to midnight,” she explained as she handed one set to Ruby before tugging on her own.

  Ruby frowned and regarded her wristwatch. “Eleven minutes past midnight, to be precise,” she declared, that familiar twinkle in her eyes returning for just a moment before it faded as she looked at the lifebelts. “What about…?”

  Penelope gathered up both belts, surprised at how light they were. She tucked them under one arm and grabbed Ruby’s hand.

  “We’ll take them with us to the deck and see what the situation is before we put them on.” Penelope squeezed her hand, urging Ruby to take a step towards her. She then brought their joined hands up to her lips, pressing a kiss to the supple leather of Ruby’s glove before heading towards the door.

  They stepped over the threshold, and Penelope was surprised to see that their corridor wasn’t utterly swamped with people hastily scrambling to the Boat Deck as instructed.

  There were only a few people moving about. The majority of the doors remained shut, whether they had closed after leaving their room, or had shut them and were ignoring the stewards, Penelope couldn’t say. The two men from earlier were still there, continuing to bicker about the severity of the situation but making no move to put on the lifebelts they held, or to head to the upper levels.

  Penelope rolled her eyes, adjusting her hold on their own lifebelts as they made their way to the staircase, closing their door over a little but leaving it open, so those who passed by knew they had followed the order. It was no busier than during the day, and the people they did pass seemed to be hastily dressed or had just shoved coats over their nightclothes. None of the women wore their extravagant hats. It was such a surreal sight.

  Penelope made sure to take in each face that they passed, certain that Ruby was so lost in her mind that she wouldn’t notice if they passed their families.

  As they made their way from E Deck towards the Boat Deck, climbing the stairs at a pace that made her calves burn and her chest heave, Penelope felt unsteady. And not just from the exhaustion taking over her body. There was something else to it that made her draw to a halt, causing Ruby to stumble into her back.

  “Everything all right?” Ruby asked, her voice still a soft whisper.

  Penelope cocked her head, stepping a little farther aside to give more space to the people who pushed past them. Part of her wanted to pretend she hadn’t noticed it, but she didn’t want to exclude Ruby from her thoughts just because she was worried about how she’d react.

  “Does the ship feel…lopsided to you?” Penelope asked. Granted, she hadn’t been on a ship before, so her experience was lacking, but there was definitely something…off…as they stood on the Second Class staircase that connected the Bridge Deck to A Deck.

  She watched Ruby’s thick brows tug down in confusion. Then she closed her eyes and rolled her shoulders a little, as if finding her centre of gravity. Then her eyes flew open, wide and alarmed. “She’s listing,” Ruby said breathlessly. “She’s leaning to starboard. I…” Ruby shook her head as her gaze darted nervously around the stairwell.

  Ruby’s hand tightened around Penelope’s to the point where their joints were grinding together and causing pain. She didn’t care, opting to return the pressure, tugging Ruby that little bit closer so that she could feel her body against her own.

  We’re going to be fine. We’re going to be fine. We’re going to be fine. It was an endless mantra her mind started up as she took a deep breath to steel her nerves and turned back to the front. The ship was leaning to one side, but that didn’t mean anything.

  They would get to the Boat Deck and discover that this seemed worse than it actually was. They would get to the Boat Deck and the crew would tell them that it was all just a big misunderstanding and they could retreat to their room, and then they’d give them a free meal tomorrow for the inconvenience.

  Penelope took off up the stairs, pulling Ruby along behind her, who seemed to be made of lead. Her feet caught on the steps and caused her to stumble several times. After what seemed like the hundredth time, Penelope stopped and turned, dropping their lifebelts at their feet for a moment as she gripped Ruby’s upper arms.

  “Darling, I adore you, but I am going to need you to get a hold of yourself.” She gave Ruby a shake to ensure that she was paying attention.

  Her glassy, distant eyes finally focused in on Penelope. She swallowed thickly and nodded, and Penelope moved her hands up to rest on her shoulders. “I promised you that we’d be all right. And I will keep that promise. But you need to help me here, Ruby. I can’t do this on my own.”

  “I know, I’m trying, really.” Ruby took a deep breath. “When I lost Mammy, I didn’t see it coming. It was like one day she was fine, and then the next she was in her bed, struggling to breathe, and we weren’t allowed near her. After that, I started to second-guess and question everything—every little cough or blemish. And yet, I didn’t notice my father getting ill until it was too late. And now, things are looking up and this happens, and I know my lu
ck, Penelope, I know nothing will be as fine as it seems.” She scoffed, scrubbing tears away with her fingertips. “Perhaps it’s not the ship that’s cursed but myself.”

  Penelope tugged Ruby closer until their foreheads touched. She was glad that everyone around them was so distracted that no one looked twice at them. It broke her heart to hear the woman she had come to care for, whose carefree attitude inspired her so much, speak so darkly about herself.

  “I know that noise made it seem scary, and the lifebelts don’t help, but we don’t even know what’s happening yet. We’ll get up to the deck, we’ll find our families, and then we’ll find someone who can give us answers.” She gave Ruby a crooked smile that required far more effort and concentration than it used to. “And besides, Father has been constantly informing me that this ship is unsinkable. Just as the steward did. We have nothing to worry about, understand?” Her fingers continued to caress the back of Ruby’s neck. “And trust me, my dear, you are many things, but cursed is not one of them. So hold your wheesht about that, all right?”

  Ruby let loose a long sigh mixed with a hint of laughter, her shoulders slumping a little. She cupped the back of Penelope’s neck, twining her fingers in the short, fine hair at the nape.

  As they stood there, foreheads together, Penelope’s eyes drifted shut. Despite the panic, the concern, the worry, they stood there, sharing the same breath, each inhale and exhale perfectly mirrored as if they were one.

  When they pulled away, Penelope longed to press a kiss to Ruby’s lips, but she knew that would be pushing it too far. Their interactions, if only glanced at, would appear sisterly or friendly. A kiss on the lips—the way Penelope wanted to kiss her, anyway—would be too obvious. She couldn’t risk it.

  Instead, she pretended there was something on Ruby’s face, brushing her thumb softly along her lower lip before removing her hands from her completely. And to avoid any further temptation, she hastily gathered the lifebelts back into her arms.

  Ruby reached for her hand, entwining their fingers, and with a final squeeze, they continued their ascent.

  As soon as they stepped onto the deck, Penelope and Ruby drew to a halt.

  It was so loud and there were so many people.

  Penelope only noticed that she had gone numb from the shock when the lifebelts started slipping from her grasp. The Boat Deck was a rather small area, and from where they stood, Penelope could see so many people that she could hardly glimpse the ocean surrounding them. And she knew there were more coming.

  “Including the crew, there’re over two thousand people aboard.” Ruby shook her head slowly. “If things get so bad that we need to abandon ship, where are we all going to go?”

  Penelope swallowed. “I didn’t even realise there were so many people aboard. You wouldn’t have guessed with how thoroughly the different classes have been separated.”

  “None of that matters now, I suppose,” Ruby said, and Penelope knew what she meant.

  There were hundreds of people on the deck, every single one looking as confused and concerned as she felt. Mothers held children close to their bodies whilst fathers looked around, searching for answers to give their families.

  Crew members were rushing around the deck. Some stood to the side, supervising and giving instructions with hand signals; others were assisting passengers, ordering them into their lifebelts, whilst the majority worked on the lifeboats, removing the covers and starting to wind the cranes that held them in place.

  “Why are they readying the lifeboats?” Penelope asked, and as soon as the words were out, it was as though the world snapped back to her. Nothing was as overpowering as the whistling of the air that rushed from the funnels. It made it impossible to think.

  “What did you say?” Ruby asked, shouting in Penelope’s ear, and even then it sounded like a whisper. She wondered, briefly, if there’d be damage to her eardrums after this, but she banished that from her mind. She refused to think of anything going wrong.

  Shaking her head, Penelope answered, “Nothing. Come on. Let’s find our families.”

  Ruby’s eyes narrowed for a moment and she pointed to the lifebelts in Penelope’s hand.

  Gnawing on her lip, Penelope glanced around the deck. She noticed that not many people had their lifebelts on; they either held them or had set them nearby.

  Taking a breath, Penelope moved the lifebelt to her free hand. “The ship still seems steady and those look terribly uncomfortable…” She laughed without humour. “Let’s just…keep them in hand for now.”

  Ruby nodded.

  Just as they stepped forwards, two stewards brushed past them.

  “—get the passengers up and tell them to dress warmly. And to bring their blankets with them. That will be good for—” was all Penelope was able to hear as the stewards continued their walk and the funnel drowned out their words.

  Penelope and Ruby shared a look of concern.

  “Bringing our blankets would have been a good idea.” Ruby offered with a fleeting smile, which then slipped from her face completely as she clawed at her coat. “My mother’s shawl. And my stamps! I didn’t think to—”

  Just as Penelope opened her mouth to soothe Ruby, an awful screech filled the air. It was unlike anything she’d ever heard before. Even after it faded, she could still hear it ringing in her ears, a steady repeat that made her sway where she stood. The previous scream returned, filling the night with its ominous howl.

  When she turned towards Ruby, she saw her blue eyes fixed on the funnels, watching as the steam gushed from them in a never-ending stream.

  “What is it?” Penelope shouted.

  “I always thought a banshee’s screech was a tale,” Ruby murmured, so quietly that Penelope had to press her ear next to her lips to hear. “It was just a story, meant to scare children, but that…” She blinked slowly and as she did, tears fell down her rosy cheeks. Penelope was so concerned about them turning to ice on her skin that she reached up and wiped them away with the cuff of her sleeve. “We’re going to die out here, Penelope.”

  Penelope tucked her lifebelt under her arm so she could grip Ruby’s arms. “No. What did I say?” She gave her a hard shake, no longer caring about being gentle or understanding. “I need you to stay with me. You don’t get to panic, understand? Not yet.” Her voice was like steel, strong and unyielding. And when Ruby didn’t respond right away, she gave her another shake, prompting her to nod.

  “Good.” Penelope released her and turned, her eyes surveying the deck, desperately searching for a glimpse of her parents and Ruby’s family. Someone older and wiser, who would be able to take over and allow her a moment’s break.

  But she saw no familiar faces.

  Perhaps others would have heard “deck” and assumed that that meant either the Promenade Deck, or even the Bridge Deck. Not ready to give up, she pushed herself into motion.

  She made her way past the crew members trying to organise the lifeboats until she got to the end of the deck, where the crowd had thinned.

  Stepping up to the railing, she took only a second to consider her options before she pushed herself up onto it, using the metal as a step stool to lean over the side and get a view of the forwardsmost deck at the front of the ship.

  A smile tugged at her lips as she saw people scattered about there.

  She even saw men playing football with a large chunk of ice. It was that which drew her attention to the rest of the area, and she noticed several larger chunks of ice strewn all over the deck.

  Her jaw locked and she started to lower herself back to solid ground, but as she moved, her gaze was drawn to the body of the ship. Many portholes were illuminated, and they reflected in the water. It was enough to allow her to see the water level in relation to the ship.

  And what she saw made her heart stop in her chest.

  At the front, the water was brushing up against
a line of portholes… But as her gaze followed that line along to the back, she saw that the water level lowered.

  She felt the tilt to the side—that was obvious as the ship hung over the right side—but that uneven waterline wasn’t just a result of that…

  As her eyes landed on the back of the ship, she saw that the bright red line that marked the waterline was completely visible, as were the tops of the large, completely still propellers that normally pushed the ship through the water.

  Penelope scrambled off the railing.

  “Penelope…?” Ruby stepped forwards, reaching for Penelope’s cheek.

  Penelope eagerly covered Ruby’s hand with her own. Not caring how it looked, she drew it to her lips and pressed a kiss to the palm. “Come. There’re people down on the Bridge Deck. Our families may be there.” She entwined their fingers and led Ruby towards the staircase that would take them back down to the Bridge Deck.

  “Should we check A Deck? Just to be safe?” Ruby asked as they came upon the entrance to the Promenade Deck. She dug her heels in, causing both herself and Penelope to stumble to a halt. Penelope turned and glanced at the doors with a frown.

  “That’s… It’s just for First Class passengers…” Penelope’s words hung in the air around them as she stared at the doors, wondering what to do. She knew there was also a good chance that Ruby’s father was there with the duke. But that would just be one father found. Penelope found herself worrying that, should they find Ruby’s family first, Ruby wouldn’t try and help Penelope find hers.

  Penelope quickly banished that thought as she threw her shoulders back and marched towards the door. “We’ll stick our heads in and see what kind of people are about… Though, when I hung over the railing, I couldn’t see many people. The Bridge Deck was much more crowded,” she explained.