In the Lap of the Gods

by Li Miao Lovett

  “She’s gone now,” the woman snarled. “Can’t scrub carpets or tiles.The manager took pity on her and put her in bookkeeping.”

  “How can I find her?” Liu asked.

  “Oh, you can’t.They’re up on the eighteenth floor and nobody’s allowed up there.”

  “But she’s my wife. I came all this way to look for her.”

  “If she’s your wife she can talk to you after hours. This hotel is for guests only. Get along now, or I’ll call the cops.”

  Hollering down to the service clerk, she added, “Now you make sure that young man’s going down.”

  Liu shuffled back down the hall, keenly aware he was being watched. He felt like a hunted animal in the Wan Bao. He did not belong, although his wife had found a home here. In the elevator, he nearly collided with the bellhop and his empty luggage cart.The fellow, who called himself Ah Ming, offered Liu a cigarette and the two stepped outside the building. Pigeons strutted on the ledge above the first story; their droppings speckled the inlaid copper plating on the sidewalk.

  “She’s your wife, you say?” Ah Ming asked. He leaned against the wall and tipped his cigarette at a rakish angle. Liu nodded. “Well, she’s a pretty one, the type that men run after like pigeons in heat. Like those things.” The bellhop pointed above their heads, where a flutter of wings ensued, driving one of the birds from its perch.

  Liu pursed his lips, unsure what to make of Ah Ming’s crude remark. “I came to talk to her about moving here.”

  The bellhop lowered his leg from the wall and stamped out his cigarette. “You’re a good fellow. Everyone here cares only about money and status. If you’re a man with neither of those things, just be careful. You ain’t gonna win.” Ah Ming cast a conspiratorial look at Liu. “Me, I’m trying to get out of here. Sneak over to Hong Kong. I’ll be okay as long as the authorities don’t catch me.”

  “And what’ll you do there?”

  “Get a job at another hotel. And when I save up some money, I’ll try to go to England or America.”

  OVER THE NEXT WEEK, LIU CAME BY THE HOTEL WHEN DUSK descended on the city, and waited by the corner to catch Mei Ling at the end of her shift. For days he waited in vain, and Ah Ming told him that he might try the back entrance to the hotel. Here, in a small alleyway, the city’s scavengers lurked between their forays into the trash and recycling bins that lined the downtown boulevards. Liu watched them during the day as they scoured through the refuse. It was passionless work, so different from his own forays along the Yangtze, where he had escaped its furious tides and found a few lost treasures, chief among them his little girl.

  As night crept over Chongqing, obscuring its gilded surfaces and seedy elements in the same pitch of darkness, he thought of his trip into Fengdu, a crumbling town that defied scavenging, and his stint in prison. Of this he was not so proud. But in that dank, concrete cell, he had finally laid down the stone of grief he had carried for so long. In the confines of prison, he had found the courage to be with another woman again.

  And if Mei Ling demanded that he surrender Rose, if their bond only aroused jealousy in her, could he abide that? In the waning hours, as night shadows flitted like bats across the cityscape, Liu felt a wavering in his soul. Perhaps Rose could have a better life if she had parents who didn’t struggle with one another and drift apart in the wake of misfortune.What good was a lonely father who couldn’t buffer his little girl against life’s blows? Mrs. Jew had casually mentioned a friend of hers in the city who was childless. If Mei Ling wanted him back, maybe Liu could find a prosperous, more comfortable home for little Rose.The thought, however, wrenched his heart. He kicked the railing hard, and the pain distracted and calmed him down a little.

  That evening, Mei Ling did not appear. Liu resumed his night watch the next evening, but he began to wonder if Mei Ling knew of his presence, and was evading him.

  Shortly after darkness fell, a figure in a heavy coat flung open the door. Hurried footsteps clattered down the walkway until Liu caught a glimmer of the moonlit face.

  “Mei Ling!” he cried. His body, numb from the cold, angled forward eagerly.

  His wife shrieked. “Who. . . ? What in the world are you doing here?” Her eyes darted about, as if there were others lurking, waiting for her.

  “I came to find you, of course. I know it may seem strange, but I couldn’t wait until you came back during spring festival.”

  “Goodness, Liu. The cops might think you’re a criminal, loitering around like that.”

  “If they mistake me for a street dog, they’ll leave me alone. And I’d just keep nipping at your heels.” Liu took a bold step forward. He crouched down and looked up at his wife with rounded eyes.

  “Oh, Liu.” Mei Ling thrust her arm out, but she couldn’t suppress a laugh. “This isn’t a place to talk. It’s late. I have to get back to my dormitory.”

  Liu continued in his jovial vein. “Man caught pouncing on wife. It’ll be in the news tomorrow.”

  “Stop it, Liu. Really.” Mei Ling tried to push past him, her warm coat brushing against his arms.

  “No, please don’t go. I’ve been thinking about things. And if you’re willing to give it another go, maybe we . . . I could find a good home for Rose. And I could get a job in town.”

  “Liu, it’s not that simple. And it’s not just Rose. I don’t think we can resolve our differences.”

  “Why . . . what do you mean?”

  “Well, I’ve made a life here. And I don’t think you’ll be happy in the big city. You have simpler tastes.”

  Liu stiffened up. “I think you underestimate me. But if you’re saying I’m not good enough for you now—”

  “It’s not like that. Please.”

  “Mei Ling, I just want you to reconsider. It was your choice as much as mine to get married.”

  In the murky light, Mei Ling’s eyes flashed wildly. “Liu, I can’t talk tonight. Let’s wait a couple of days, okay? I don’t work on Sunday. I can meet you at Li Feng’s for lunch.”

  Liu nodded slowly. He took a deep breath, tracking the outline of her dark cloak as it disappeared into the night.

  WITH A FEW IDLE EVENINGS ON HIS HANDS, LIU DID NOT WANT to stay in his hosts’ apartment. The presence of the imposing Mr. Jew, a well-clad banker, made Liu feel not only awkward and intrusive, but also less assured about his mission to win back Mei Ling.

  Instead, he slurped noodles with his new friend Ah Ming, and they smoked their cigarettes down to little nubs until the last customers had left. He felt comfortable around the lad, whose freckled face seemed to convey an innocence beneath his worldly, cynical remarks. Liu told him about the ups and downs of his marriage.

  “She’s been distant, eh?” said Ah Ming. He smashed the butt of a cigarette into the ashtray. “Did you know, and this may be rumor, that your wife is supposedly seeing another man?”

  Liu shook his head. Surely, Mei Ling wouldn’t lie to him. “What? How do you know that?”

  “I saw them together myself a few times, and I think he even had his arm around her waist briefly once. He’s one of the big managers around here. And the witch who runs facilities, Mrs. Lao, still talks about her, calling her the broken shoe who tripped off the eleventh floor.”

  The blood rushed into Liu’s temples. “How long has this been going on?”

  “Oh, I don’t know. Been hearing the chatter these past two months.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me this before?” Liu cried. His arms descended like leaden weights onto the table, scattering cigarette ash onto the plastic tablecloth.

  “Well, it wasn’t my business to meddle in another man’s affairs. But then I figured you’re really going to a lot of trouble . . . for nothing.” Ah Ming sucked in his cheeks, and his gaunt face looked even thinner.

  Liu stood up, his eyes black as bituminous coal. A hot sweat drenched his palms, and he shook so hard that he rattled the heavy wooden table beneath his hands. Everything blurred before his eyes, and the walls seemed to
breathe, but no air came into his lungs. And then, in his rabid, shaken state, he saw the frightened look in Ah Ming’s eyes.

  “Liu, you’d best take it easy; go home and think it over. Don’t do anything rash.”

  That night, when Liu collapsed onto the couch in the Jews’ living room, an angry procession of thoughts marched through his head.

  No wonder she had been sullen and withdrawn. Her concerns about Rose were a sham; all she really wanted was to break free from him. And now that she had a wealthy, successful man at her side, Mei Ling didn’t need him anymore. But why did she marry him in the first place?

  And then a different stream of voices emerged, a calming tide that called for mercy. Maybe she had loved Liu once. She must have seen some promise in him, enough to put up with caring for a child that wasn’t her own. After all, she had dutifully sent money home for the last few months. How could he repay her?

  He pressed his arms tightly against his face. Maybe she deserved better, and if he could offer her nothing, it was best to leave well enough alone. She would be coming back for spring festival anyway, to get her things. He would not push her anymore. If she wanted to come back, she would make that clear to him.

  But what if Ah Ming’s revelation was really just a rumor? Liu thought again about the possibility of confronting Mei Ling. If there was no such affair, then he should still believe what she said about Rose. But if there was another man, Mei Ling would deny it anyway. Either way, Liu could not win.

  And besides, he was wearing out his welcome in Mr. Jew’s house. The decision to do nothing settled quietly in his gut, and he fell into a delirious sleep.

  The next morning, Liu asked the bellhop to tell Mei Ling that something urgent prompted his return to Wushan, and he would await her return at the end of the month. Ah Ming spat on the pavement, scattering a few pigeons. “Smart man. You gotta figure that women are like rings. If you got skinny fingers, they’ll slip right off. But if a man’s got a fortune—oh—they’ll cling to him, and he’ll have more than a few shiny stones on his pinky alone.”

  Liu thought about his friend’s assessment, and added, “A rich man pulls a lot of people down with him.”

  “It’s every man for himself,” said Ah Ming. “It’s a new China; old folks like my dad don’t get that. If I had a chance to be on top, I’d take it. Wouldn’t you?”

  “I suppose.” But Liu wasn’t so sure. Somewhere in his muddled brain, he knew that even a great man could fall down a well as deep as his own.

  28

  THE REUNION OF FATHER AND DAUGHTER WAS A WELCOME ONE for all concerned. The little girl screeched, tottering toward Liu, who felt a pang of guilt that he had been gone so long.The babysitter let out a sigh, sending her bangles and earrings aflutter, and she accepted his small gift of ginseng with a wan smile.

  “Did Tai get that electric stove like his wife wanted?” Liu asked.

  “I’m afraid he and his wife have moved,” she said, fingering her rings.

  “You mean, they found another apartment?”

  “No, your friend wanted me to tell you that they’ve left Wushan. Blamed it on a bad investment. Mrs. Tai was very upset about it.” The woman shook her head, and an array of silver jewels jangled against her face and neck. “I told her not to give him such a hard time, but the loss really did put them out. They boarded a ship for Shanghai earlier this week, where her family lives.”

  Liu clenched his fists, unable to feel anything except for the scratching of Rose’s fingers on his sleeves. “Did he leave an address or anything?”

  The woman opened a desk drawer and handed him a small audiocassette. “Here, he asked me to give you this.”

  He stuck the cassette in his pocket and lifted Rose into his arms. “Say thank you to Auntie.” She waved her little hand as if swatting a fly. He scrambled down the back stairway as fast as his bad leg could carry them, the sound of the babysitter’s jewels still echoing in his ears.

  In their apartment, stale air hung thick as crumpled old bedding. It surprised Liu that little had changed during his month-long absence; the same dishes remained unwashed, the drawers sat gaping with his spare shirt and socks in one corner and the outgrown baby clothes in the other. Liu fussed about the room, collecting Rose’s trinkets in a small pile as she watched him, her pink thumb bulging against her cheek.

  At last he sat down and stuck Tai’s cassette into a tape player he had salvaged from Old Wushan.

  “Ol’ brother,” the recording crackled. He could hardly recognize Tai’s voice, which was drowned out in places by a din of activity. “I am sorry I could not say good-bye to you in person, but all this has happened rather suddenly. You know how happy I’ve been to build up this restaurant. But I felt I could never keep up with my wife’s demands, and there was always something better around the corner. So I invested in a local coal mining company. Unfortunately, that turned out to be a bad decision. The coal’s no good. It’s blown up a few stoves, and I couldn’t pull my money out fast enough before the business tanked. I’ve had to sell the restaurant, and as much as I hate the idea, we’ll be living with my wife’s family in Shanghai to help us get back on our own feet.”

  Tai cleared his throat, then continued. “I guess we’ll both have to depend on our wives for a while. I’ll see what I can do in Shanghai. You gotta keep your wits about you in the big city, but maybe this experience has made me a little wiser.”

  A sharp female voice rang in the background. Tai let out an audible sigh. “Liu, I wish you the best, and hope your woman comes back in good time. Give my best to Mei Ling. If you ever come to Shanghai, please do look for me....”

  Liu wondered how his friend, who had been thrifty and threadbare for as long as he had known him, could take such big risks with his money. And he thought ruefully how his own life had been one gamble after another in the wake of Fei Fei’s death. He had taken his chances with Mei Ling. And while the love of a widower flowed along muddier shores, he had felt assured at one time that his heart was strong again. Now he was not so sure.

  AN URGENT KNOCK SOUNDED AT THE DOOR JUST AS LIU AND Rose finished their morning porridge. Liu wondered who could possibly be visiting them. He did not expect Mei Ling back so soon, as the spring festival was still two weeks away.

  Fang Shuping stood across from him, with a leather briefcase braced against his wool coat. “Greetings, my friend!” A corner of his mouth tilted into a grin, like that of a man picking his teeth. “It’s been a while, haven’t seen you since your wedding. How’s your lovely wife?”

  “Fine.” Liu stiffened, barricading the doorway, his body rigid and unrelenting.

  “Aren’t you going to invite me in?” asked Fang.

  “It’s not like you to pay house calls, Fang. What do you want?” Liu was worried that the old broker had played a part in Tai’s downfall, and was here to collect the debt.

  “I have a lucrative proposition for you. Now let’s sit down and talk about it, shall we?”

  Liu relaxed his stance a little, relieved it was only another of Fang’s diabolical schemes. The old man looked less menacing than miserly, with his big black case. Little Rose, who was playing with a pair of spoons, shoved one in her mouth when Fang walked in. Liu reluctantly offered him a seat on the couch. It had been presentable at one time, but had become anointed with toddler fingerprints and scratches.

  The old man sat down gingerly. “Cozy place you have here. Could use more of the woman’s touch; don’t tell your wife I said that. Where is your lovely bride?”

  “She’s working,” Liu replied.

  “What a great age we live in,” Fang chuckled, “when the wives put rice on the table, and the men get to gamble it all away.”

  “I don’t gamble,” said Liu coldly, but the allusion to Tai’s mishaps bothered him. “I was working for a boatman until I broke my leg a few months ago.”

  “That’s too bad. Now my offer might be just the thing to take a load off the family pressures.” Fang leaned forward,
joining his fingertips. It struck Liu as a curious gesture, and reminded him of the old women in church who joined their hands to pray to an invisible deity. In an unguarded moment, Liu’s curiosity was piqued by the broker’s words.

  “Now you may remember that the gold pendant you sold belonged to an old friend of mine, to her deceased husband, as a matter of fact. She was grateful to get it back. There is something else that belongs to the family, and a handsome price will be paid for its return. Consider it a reward for the trouble you’ve taken as a steward, a guardian of precious goods.” Fang glanced over at Rose, who had resumed her concert with the utensils, banging them against the wooden frame of her crib.

  “What are you saying, Fang?” A cold tremor seized Liu in the chest. Clearly, the old man was up to no good again.

  The child’s staccato rapping filled the interlude of silence. Tap. Fang rose up from his seat. Tap. Tap. He walked to the cradle in a slow, deliberate stride. Tap. He squatted next to Rose, holding out his palm. She refused to surrender the spoons, and recoiled from the old man’s touch.

  “This girl’s Po Po would like her grandchild back. It is true that the mother had abandoned the child, but her grandmother is willing to raise her. And for your pains in taking care of her, you’ll receive a generous 10,000 yuan. Not bad for a year and a half’s work.”

  Liu gestured to Rose, who toddled over to her father’s side. “How do I know this is really true? What does an old woman want with a young child? And why are you so concerned, Fang? I’ve not seen you so interested as you are now in other people’s welfare.”

  “Come on, you might not believe me, but you’ll have to take the word of a lady at face value. She’s as upright as they come. She’ll be in town next week, and you’ll see for yourself. And this girl looks like her grandmother, too. Look at those wide cheeks.”

  When Fang bent over to pinch her, little Rose reared back her lips and bit the old man’s bony hand. A squeal of pain escaped from his lips, and he pulled back, as if attacked by a rabid dog.