Mark Twain on Religion: What Is Man, the War Prayer, Thou Shalt Not Kill, the Fly, Letters From the Earth
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And with that we reach the core of Mark Twain's interest in him. What the Father of History saw in Methuselah's time was what he saw around him in the last quarter of the nineteenth century in America.
Here was a correspondence, a repetition, an exemplification of the Mad Prophet's "Law of Periodical Repetition." In Methuselah's time as in Mark Twain's time, a great civilization had reached the point when the destructive forces it contained were beginning to dominate. He appreciated its greatness; he also appreciated the inevitability of its collapse. He and Methuselah lived in eras which they both loved and hated but in which they were never quite at home, eras with a doom on them, eras when the world was spinning toward the abyss.
For the fact that conditions all the Adam papers is that the Deluge is not far off. (The papers make clear that there is an error in the chronology of Genesis, which postdates the Flood by several centuries.) Mark's interest in the coming catastrophe was strong when he made the translations from Methuselah, in 1876 or 1877, but it was far stronger when, about 1906, his research reached the Mad Prophet. The year 920 After Creation was fateful for Adamic society -- and he saw the same forces at work round him, the same softened people, the same corrupt plutocracy, the same venal and bewildered government, the same chaos. In the Mad Prophet, making his detached calculations on the very threshold of world catastrophe, he found a figure who, according to the Law of Periodical Repetition, might well be the Father of History himself.
B. DV.
The first day of the fourth month of the year 747 from the beginning of the world -
- This day am I sixty years old, I being born in the year 687 from the beginning of the world. Came certain of the family to me praying that I would marry, so that heirs fail not.
I am but young to take upon me such cares, albeit I am minded that my father Enoch, my grandfather Jared, my great-grandfather Mahalaleel, and my great-great-grandfather Cainan did each and all take wives at an age like to that which I am now arrived at. All these have spoken their minds concerning me, and do concur in desiring that I marry, I being eldest son of my father and heir of this princely house in due succession, and ultimate possessor of the cities, principalities, and dignities unto it pertaining, when it shall please the gods to call hence those heirs and elder brethren that live and still stand between me and these high honors.
Tenth Day -- Dismissed the several wise men and their servants with presents and sent them upon their way to their several countries, I not requiring tutors more, having finished my youth and stepped upon the threshold of manhood. With the sage Uz, that dwelleth in the far land of Nod, in that old city called Enoch, I did send a centurion and many stout men of war out of my own bodyguard, to protect him and his caravan from the children of Jabal that infest the desert places by the way. His great-great-granddaughter Zillah tarrieth yet in the house of their kinsman Habakkuk, she being content to extend her visit, and they to have her. A comely maid and modest.
Eighteenth Day -- The anniversary of the building of the city -- prosperity abide with Aumrath and all that dwell within her gates! My great-grandfather, Mahalaleel, that did lay the cornerstone three hundred years ago, sat in state in the high place of the temple and received the chiefs of the city, praising the greatness thereof, and the strength and power and the splendor of her belongings; saying he had seen the first house builded and watched the growth from that small beginning till this day that it covereth the five hills and the valleys between and possesseth a population that no man is able to number. And indeed it is a goodly city, with temples and palaces, strong walls, and streets that have no end, and not one house but is stone. The house that was the first one is fallen to ruin, but many visit it with reverence and none are allowed to injure it, though many foolish persons, wanderers from other parts, have the vain fashion of graving their names and the obscure places whence they come, upon its stones, which is silly and marketh the doer for a fool.
Twenty-fourth Day -- This day performed before my father's court certain mountebanks, whereof one did eat fire, placing living coals within his mouth and crushing them with his teeth and swallowing them; also drinking naphtha while it flamed, yet betraying no inconvenience from it, but only relish and content.
Then another, placing a child under a basket, drove a sword down through it and drew it forth dripping blood, the child shrieking meanwhile. The basket being turned, the child was nowhere to be seen, nor yet its blood. But these be aged tricks, and little worth.
One swallowed a crooked sword above an arm's length long. This was a soft-spoken, gentle varlet, yet did I wish it might rend his bowels and so end these entertainments since I nor any might sit in my father's presence or depart whilst he remained. But he was charmed, and marveled much; which comes of holding himself in retirement and study and seeing little that doth transpire abroad. Verily these threadbare vagaries did stir his admiration to that degree that no louting clown new come from out the country could surpass it.
Then went he to the theater in state, the court attending, all in brave attire. This new actor, Luz, whose fame filleth the land of late, so wrought upon the multitude in the great part of Adam in the classic, venerable and noble play of the Driving Forth from Eden (there being nothing comparable to it written in these modem times), that they wept aloud and many times rose up shouting and so stood till it seemed they would never give over. Yet in the midst cometh in Jebel, that never-failing half-brother of my great-great-great-great-grandfather Enos, and did raise his brows and turn him this way and that, looking with compassion upon the people, as who should say, "In sooth, call they this acting?" So always does he, being never satisfied with anything except it be something ancient and stupid which he hath seen and others have not; decrying all that is modern as being trivial and weak, neither enjoying anything himself nor permitting others that would. Then discoursed he long and loud, with much inflated speech and pompous air, concerning what the stage had been in other times before this degenerate day; saying, "When the great Uzziel lived, lo, there was an Adam! Please God, when we that have seen true acting look back and remind us what the stage was four and five hundred years ago --" and then would he work himself up to such an anguish of grief and boasting and most hardy and prodigious lying, that one could be content he were back among his vanished idols and God be thanked that it was so. How tiresome these people be, soured and toothless and old, that go on living for no end, it seemeth, but to keep flinging in one's face the overrated marvels of an age that is forgot and that none regret but they themselves. Old age hath its charms, but this fashion is not of them. I had told him so, indeed, if such language might become my meager years and downy beard.
Twenty-seventh Day -- This day, Zuar, a slave of mine, did prostrate himself before me, humbly reminding me that it'is now six years since I bought him of his father.
Calling my steward, he shewed me that it was so. Wherefore, the man being a Hebrew, I might not longer hold him, so told him he was free from bondage. Then bowed he again to the earth, saying, "My lord, I have a wife and children." Then would I, not thinking, have said, "Take them also," but that my steward, falling upon his knees, cried,
"O Prince, I must not fail my duty, albeit it is hard: they came not with him when he was bought; your grace did give him his wife, and his children were born in servitude."
Whereat I was troubled, as not knowing my own matter, I having no experience of a like case before, but said, "Well, if it be so, let it be so -- give him money and clothing, and let him depart from his house alone; but be kind to his wife and babes, they shall not be sold, neither suffered to want."
Then Zuar rose up and, saluting, went out bowed as one that is stricken with a great sorrow. I was not easy in my mind, though fulfilling the law. I wished it might be otherwise. I went out to see, forbidding the guards to come, and found them locked in each other's arms, but not speaking, their faces turned to stone, and not a tear, the babes prattling about their knees, contending for a butterfly that one had caug
ht. I drew back to my place, the pleasure of life gone out of me, which was strange, these being only slaves, dust under my feet. I must give this thing some further thought.
Twenty-eighth Day -- Came these poor creatures to me, and Zuar, with a despondent face that belied his words, said, "My Lord, in the form and according to the usage of the law, I am come to declare that I love my lord, and my wife and my children, and do refuse to go out free; therefore, let my ear be bored with an awl before the judges, and I and mine by this token be returned to slavery forever, since that or even death itself is better than that I be parted from these that are more to me than bread and sunshine and the breath that giveth life."
I know not if I did right, but there was no finding it in my heart to suffer this; so I said, "It is a hard law and cruel; go forth free, all of ye, that my conscience may trouble me no more." These were servants of price, but I pray God I shall not repent me of it, since my state is so great and opulent it is but casting away a farthing in any wise.
Fifth Month, Third Day -- I cannot abide the Princess Sarah, granddaughter of my kinsman Eliah, rich and great and old as that house is, nor will I marry her unless my father force me. Came she again, with a great train of nobles and lesser servants, three days since, to visit at my father's palace, which is over against my new one and no great space away. This girl is near my own age, though a trifle older, which is less pleasant than if she were a trifle younger, she being just turned sixty-one. But Lord, whilst at her age she should be blooming and gay, she apeth the gravity of a matron and hath a mature look and a dull complexion. She affects to be wise and learned, and goeth about with her nose in the air, lost in lofty contemplation. Pray God she hitch it not upon the bough of a tree and so hang herself, for it hath a hook that might serve for it. After the fashion of the time, she hath more hair upon her head that cometh from the bazaar than nature hath provided of her own to keep it company. It were as sensible to add to the proportions of the nose God's grace hath given us -- then what, I marvel, would this woman do? Whithersoever she goeth, she draggeth a woolly and insufferable dog by a string and taketh it in her lap and comforteth it when she sits, and in chill weather covereth its body with a red embroidered cloth lest it be taken of a cold or a fever and the world mourn. Cursed be the day that I fall heir to its place and the affliction of the affections of its mistress. Amen.
Fifth Day -- Came Zuar and his wife Mahlah, as I walked in the Court of Fountains, and fell upon their faces before me to make a petition; and when the guards would have dealt roughly by them for intruding upon my privacy and my meditations, I would not suffer it; for since I was lately merciful to these there hath sprung up within me a consideration for them. Their petition being that I would attach them to my service, I did so, albeit it was odd simplicity in creatures of their degree to prefer a prayer in person to one of my quality; and did appoint Mahlah to serve in the apartments of the women, and Zuar to be near me and be Master of the Pages, with good wage for both, whereat they were very grateful, not expecting or aspiring to such high fortune.
About noon saw the girl Zillah pass by the great gate of the palace, with but a single servant following, for these are people of mere civilian degree and of no estate.
Uz, her great-greatgrandfather, hath great learning, but cometh of ancestry of no quality. They be idolaters, worshipers of Baal, and so suffer certain restraints and curtailments of privilege under the law. This girl is very beautiful -- more so, indeed, than I had before observed.
Tenth Day -- All the whole city did flock to the streets, the walls, the housetops and all places of vantage, to get sight of the savages new come to town from the famous tribe of the Jabalites, that live not in houses, but in tents, and wander in lawless hordes through the length and breadth of the great deserts in the far northeast that lie toward the land of Nod. These came to the number of twenty, greater and lesser chiefs, with many servants, all upon camels and dromedaries, with a fantastic sort of barbaric pomp, to make submission to my father and enter into a covenant of peace, they receiving goods and trinkets and implements of husbandry, and undertaking to make the right of way secure and not molest our caravans and merchants. A visit like to this they make to us as often as once in fifty or sixty years, and then go away and break the covenant and make trouble again. But they are not always to blame. They covenant to go and abide upon lands set apart for them, and subsist by the arts of peace; but the agents sent out to govern them do cheat them and maltreat them, removing them to other stations not so good and stealing from them their fertile lands and hunting districts, and abusing them with blows when they resist -- a thing they will not abide; and so they rise by night and slaughter all that fall into their hands, revenging the agents'
treachery and oppression as best they can. Then go our armies forth to carry desolation to their hearthstones but succeed not. These that came today went about the city viewing the wonders of it, yet never exclaiming, nor betraying admiration in any way. At the audience many loving speeches were made upon both sides, and they were feasted and sent away with store of presents, mainly implements of husbandry, the which they will fashion into weapons and go out against their persecutors again. They were a wild spectacle, and fierce of countenance, a goodly show; but they and the other tribes of their sort are a sore problem to my father and his council. They worship no god; and if we in goodness of heart do send a missionary to show them the way of life, they listen with respect to all he hath to say, and then they eat him. This doth tend to hinder the spread of light.
II A LATER EXTRACT FROM METHUSELAH'S DIARY
It was Mark Twain's intention to translate in detail Methuselah's observations on manners and morals, on his travels in distant lands, and on the recurrence of fashions and beliefs. He expected to give us an account of an experiment in republicanism which occurred in the middle period of Methuselah's life, the bureaucracy that grew up as a result, and such accompaniments of it as a women's rights crusade, the corruption of the judiciary, and the triumph of the demagogues. A typical incident was summarized thus in his notes: "Poor foreign devils lost and starving in the desert. Republican govt. of Meth. can't relieve or rescue them. Somebody observes that if you can pretend they are robbers or other criminals govt. will hunt them up with alacrity -- which is done. Disgust of govt. to find they are honest and harmless."
Methuselah met a number of eccentrics, notably one Lamech (not to be confused with his son Lamech), who was a murderer and "charmed with the idea that any man that shall avenge the murder will have to suffer seventy-and-seven fold, if Cain's must suffer sevenfold." There is also a notation that Methuselah once met Cain. He was not able, however, to gratify his great desire to visit Eden. The place was under a taboo, none could visit it, and centuries of mystery about it had created terrible legends.
Methuselah observes the slight differences in the religions he encounters, and makes notes on the local dialects of the mother tongue. He sees a census of the family of Seth or Enos: "1200 brothers and sisters mustered, inspected, counted, tallied, invoiced, account of stock." In his old age on a similar occasion he "is introduced to brothers and sisters never met before. Invites 40 or 50 to dine. Sees resemblance -- have much family talk about What ever became of Jim? -- Married So-and-so and moved into So-and-so 200 years ago, etc." (The problem here suggested grows acute in the Mad Prophet's time.)
Another note repeats a familiar theme. "Remains 20 years in Enoch (short stay -- is hurried); returns there 500 years later -- everybody married or dead or moved away -- inquires for all -- reads moldering monuments to them -- asks after this and that one -- is all very sad -- so many changes --
finally finds one withered wretch who was a humble youth and befriended him in the old time -- shows him graves, ruined houses and tells everything. Changes in town's appearance and customs. Men kissing going out of fashion -- been out twice before in M's time."
(The last two notes are out of key with the others and I suspect that they were made long after the t
wo translations from Methuselah. The appearance of the manuscript supports the evidence of the content. They are on a different kind of paper, and the penmanship has changed from the large, cursive style of the seventies. It is much nearer the small, precise copperplate of the nineties. At a guess, these two notes were made in the late eighties and signify a brief reawakening of interest in Methuselah which Mark did not follow up.)
But neither Methuselah's travels nor his reflections on society are translated at length in the second extract. Instead, Mark is principally interested in the coming visit of Adam. A number of notes bear on the ceremonies and the Pageant of Progress that accompanied them. Apparently Methuselah was going to review the whole of Adamic culture. But the translation was dropped abruptly: I do not know why.
I imagine that by this time the Father of History had got absorbed in the reign of Edward VI (he began writing The Prince and the Pauper in 1877) or in his own travels in Europe (1878) preparatory to writing A Tramp Abroad.
The second extract was translated, I think, very soon after the first. The date is almost certainly 1876, 1877, or 1878. My guess is that both date from the summer of 1876 and were written at Quarry Farm.
B. DV.
Tenth Day -- It taketh but short space to craze men of indifferent understanding with a new thing. Behold, 'tis now but two years gone that a certain ancient game, played with a ball, hath come up again, yet already are all mouths filled with the phrases that describe its parts and movement; insomuch, indeed, that the ears of the sober and such as would busy themselves with weightier matters are racked with the clack of the same till they they do ache with anguish. If a man deceive his neighbor with a shrewd trick that doth advantage himself to his neighbor's hurt, the vulgar say of the sufferer that he was Caught out on a Foul. If one accomplisheth a great and sudden triumph of any sort soever, 'tis said of him that he hath Made a Three-Base Hit. If one fail utterly in an enterprise of pith and moment, you shall hear this said concerning him: "Hash-bat-kakolath." * Thus hath this vile deformity of speech entered with familiar insolence into the very warp and woof of the language, and made ugly that which before was shapely and beautiful. Today, by command of my father, was this game contested in the great court of his palace after the manner of the playing of it three centuries gone by. Nine men that had their calves clothed in red did strive against other nine that had blue hose upon their calves. Certain of those in blue stood at distances, one from another, stooping, each with his palms upon his knees, watching; these called they Basemen and Fielders -- wherefore, God knoweth. It concerneth me not to know, neither to care.