by Jani Kay
My skin stuck to the leather of the couch as I slowly moved my legs and sat upright without making a sound. I slipped Razor’s shirt that lay on top of me over my head and pulled it down to cover my naked pussy and just watched Razor for a long while, wondering what exactly he was thinking.
I want to touch him. Feel his warmth against my skin.
Images of him fucking me with that glorious dick of his flitted through my mind and I had to squeeze my thighs together to stop the throbbing of my core. I wanted him back inside me. Right this minute.
I knew what I liked and what I wanted. While other people oscillated between uncertainty and greed, I mostly had a clear idea in my mind of my goals and how I wanted my life to play out.
Except this.
This—whatever is happening between Razor and me—confuses the hell out of me.
Perplexed, I drew my knees to my chest and pulled the t-shirt over to cover my legs, staring at his strong back as if it held all the answers.
Not expecting to have sex with Razor again after the one time I’d let him fuck me over a year ago and swore to never let it happen again, I’d given in last night. To my surprise I wasn’t regretting it for one moment like I had the time before.
When I couldn’t stand the distance between us any longer, I lifted off the couch and crept towards the muscled body etched against the rising sun.
My heart beat so loudly in my ears that I was sure he could hear me approaching, but he didn’t so much as move a muscle.
“Hey,” I said softly as I wrapped my arms around him from behind and pressed my body into his.
“Hey.” His voice was low and deep, and oh so fucking sexy. He stroked my arms, letting me hold on to him for a while before he turned his naked body in my embrace.
An unlit cigarette dangled from his lips. “You sleepwalking?” I teased.
A slow smile spread across his face and his hungry eyes drank me in. He removed the cigarette and stuck it behind his ear. “Fuck, you’re sexy with your hair all tousled like that, wearing my t-shirt.”
“Um . . . I recall my shirt being torn, so it’s only fair you give me yours.”
“Everything that’s mine is yours, baby. You should know that by now.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“Everything?”
“Everything.”
I reached for his cock. “This too?”
“Especially that.”
“Hmmm . . . I’m liking where this is going.”
“So am I, babe, so am I.” A guttural groan escaped his lips as I rubbed the length of his cock in my fist while cupping his balls in my palm. I loved the easy banter between us. I loved his reaction to my touch. I loved that we were all alone and the day was only just beginning.
“Well, if this is mine, I’d have to kiss it good morning, wouldn’t I?” I said in a husky voice as I dropped to my knees.
His hand resting on my head held me in place as he thrust his hips forward, his cock brushing my lips, leaving a trail of wetness. I looked up at him through my lashes and smiled sweetly. He watched me with eager eyes, dark and stormy with lust.
“Kiss as much as you like, babe.”
Men were so fucking easy. The little brain always, always took over.
I opened my mouth wide and swallowed him whole. His cock didn’t care that I had morning breath. No, it liked what I was doing to it with my tongue, responding by becoming thicker and heavier. I almost gagged as Razor held my head in both hands and fucked my mouth.
“Is this the way you like it?” he groaned, speeding up his movements.
It wasn’t. My mouth was totally different to my pussy. I liked to be in charge of the speed I bobbed my head and gagging wasn’t on my list of favorite things.
I bit down on his cock. Hard. Sinking my teeth into his rock hardness.
He yelped like a puppy who got his tail in the door and jumped back, his cock leaving my mouth with a pop.
“What the fuck was that?” he roared, nursing his tool in his palm.
I covered my mouth with my hand to hide my laughter, but when tears started leaking from the sides of my eyes, I just let it rip and laughed out loud. Served him fucking right.
“Jesus, Lexi, you’re gonna pay for that, babe. I’m gonna bend you over that couch and fuck you so hard your brains rattle inside your pretty skull.”
“Is that a promise or a threat?”
Razor jerked me up off the ground and lifted me into his strong arms.
“You’re gonna find out soon enough.”
He strode over to the couch and threw me down unceremoniously onto it and then followed me down immediately, hardly letting me catch my breath. His mouth covered mine, bruising my lips. Hungry, searching, teasing.
My hand went around his thick neck and drew him closer as I pressed my tits into his chest. This man was a fucking animal and I loved the way he made me feel like I was his prey and he wanted to devour me.
Seconds later I gasped for air as his hand slid around my neck and squeezed. “I’m going to make you beg me to stop.”
His cock slammed into me. I was so fucking turned on that he slid in all the way to the back, filling me completely.
“My spitfire is so fucking wet already. You want this, don’t you, my little bitch. You like it when I’m rough.”
I did.
It made me feel alive.
I stared into his wild eyes and nodded.
Pleasure was the other side of the coin of pain. I needed one to fully experience the other. Slow vanilla sex bored the shit out of me. Razor got it. He knew how to make me fucking crazy for him.
Razor used his tool for my ultimate pleasure. Every piercing on his cock caused friction inside me as he rolled and ground his hips into me and fucked me while restricting my airflow. Faint and breathless, his rough actions intensified the sensations in my body until I wanted to pass out.
The hand around my neck loosened and I sucked in a long quivering breath.
Razor flipped us around so that I was on top of him, his cock still deep inside. He cupped my ass cheeks in his large hands. “Take off the t-shirt so I can suck your tits.”
I didn’t need to be told twice. The t-shirt was off and I leaned into him, burying his face in my cleavage. He moved his head to the side and sucked a plump brown nipple into his mouth.
God, the way he nibbled and licked and sucked sent a message straight to my pussy. I was going to come so fucking hard that I knew I’d be screaming. Only I couldn’t do that without alerting everyone in the compound of where we were and what we were doing. Not that I cared. A secret fantasy I’d had forever was to fuck with everyone watching.
“Ride my cock, Spitfire. Make me come.” His eyes were feral, nearly rolling to the back of his head.
I straightened my back, moving my tits out of reach so that he had to watch them bouncing in his face while I rode him like a fucking cowgirl.
Fingers dug into my ass cheeks and I clawed mine into his shoulders as I bobbed up and down ferociously while making animalistic grunting noises.
“Oh fuck, I’m going to come.” Razor had that look on his face that was unmistakable. He was close and so was I. Our chests heaved in unison.
“Come, baby,” he commanded in a gruff voice. “Now.”
I threw back my head and let my orgasm take over my body.
“Razor,” I cried out, trying to be quiet but failing miserably.
His lips snared mine and swallowed my screams, sweat dripping from both our bodies as we gave in to the pleasure, slipping skin to skin as we devoured one another.
I couldn’t get enough. I wanted more. I wanted everything.
What the fuck has this man done to me?
Nothing was ever going to be the same again. I wanted this man to fuck me blind and never stop.
13 — Lexi
“Lexi, I want you, baby. Forever.” His breath was warm on my skin. “I don’t wanna let go of you.”
“Razor. Don
’t.”
“Why not?” His piercing gaze cut right through me. “Why can’t you be mine and let me love you?”
Stunned by his question, I sat completely still. It was difficult coming up with a coherent reply while his cock still throbbed inside me.
Maybe it was time he learned more about the real me. About the girl underneath the tattoos and make-up. The girl who is scarred for life. A misfit who should never have been born.
A cold shiver ran down my spine. Razor tried to pull me closer, but I pushed my palm against his chest.
“It’s complicated.” I closed my eyes to stop him from seeing the turmoil inside.
“Try me.” His voice was soft, gentle. Coaxing. In that moment, I trusted him with my life.
“My father . . .” I paused and took a deep breath, my mind a muddle. So many emotions bubbled under the surface that I found it difficult to articulate my thoughts in a way he could understand.
I started again. “My mother . . . she died just after giving birth to me.” I didn’t want to go into all the gory details. Anyway, I didn’t quite understand them myself. “Complications.”
“I’m sorry.” Razor lifted both my hands to his lips and kissed my fingers. The warmth of his lips encouraged me to keep talking.
“Dad had to raise me all by himself. He gave up his studies to work part time and take care of me as well. He was only nineteen. And I was a sickly baby. Cried all the damn time.” I shrugged my shoulders, trying to lighten the weight on them. It didn’t help.
“You were only a baby. It wasn’t your fault.” The gentle tone of his voice was my undoing. A thick lump clogged my throat and my chest burned like hell.
“Well, that’s not true. One night when he came home drunk after a work party, he sat on the couch sobbing his heart out and I came to see what was wrong. He told me that if he had a choice about who would live or die, he’d choose my mother every time.” My voice hitched. “It was tough to absorb all of that as a kid. I still struggled with it to this day, although he denies that he ever said it. But I was there. I’m not making this shit up. It happened and I remember it as if it was yesterday.”
“Fuck. I’m so sorry, baby.” He leaned his forehead against mine. I took a few deep breaths, my eyes screwed closed so that the tears I held back wouldn’t leak out. I’d grown up to be tough, to not show that I cared about anything. Razor was slowly unravelling me and letting all those insecurities rush back. I was seven again. All alone. Lost. Broken.
Unwanted.
“I decided that I’d never love a man—never fall in love.” I opened my eyes and met Razor’s. “Love hurts too much.”
He sucked in a sharp breath. “Lexi.”
“I’m never going to fall in love, Razor. I don’t want to hurt you. You deserve to be happy. Find somebody else.” I ducked my head so he wouldn’t see the tears brimming on the edges on my lashes.
“Are you fucking kidding? I want you. Nobody else.” His thumb lifted my face to his. “It’s been you since the first moment I laid eyes on you when you started working at the bar. Always has been and it ain’t gonna change.”
“No.” I shook my head vehemently, “don’t fall for me. I’m not capable of loving anyone.”
“Too late.” His lips curled up at the sides. “By about a year and a half.”
My eyes widened. “Are you fucking serious?”
The smile evaporated off his face. “I am.” He pursed his lips together so they formed two thin lines. “Fucking serious. The most serious I’ve ever been in my life.”
My insides churned. I felt sick. Naked and vulnerable. Exposed to the bone.
I held up both hands. “Well, stop. Just stop, okay!”
Trembling, I scrambled off his lap. My eyes darted to the ground, finding the t-shirt I so eagerly discarded and I quickly pulled it over my head, covering myself.
“You think love is like a light switch? I’ve got news for you, sweetheart. Sometimes I wish I didn’t want you the way I do. I’d give you my fucking heart on a platter if it would make you happy.” The harshness in his voice hit me in the heart.
I spun around and glared at him. “I want to be happy just like everyone else. But love isn’t part of it. I thought you’d understand.”
He gripped my wrist and pulled me closer. His eyes burned into me. “So what was this? Just a fuck? Is that it?”
I nodded. “Yeah. It was just a fuck. A good fuck.”
“You’re full of shit. I know the difference between a fuck and—”
I didn’t stay to listen further. Jerking my wrist out of his grip, I bolted for the gate. I nearly made it, but just as I put my foot on the first step, he grabbed me from behind. He pulled me against his rock-hard chest with a thump. I fought him off, arms flying in all directions. My elbow connected with his stomach in a desperate attempt to free myself and run, but he was too strong and I didn’t stand a damn chance to fight him physically.
“The bet is off,” I huffed, out of breath and mad as hell. With Razor. With myself. With the whole fucking world. “I’m not staying in your bed another fucking night. It was stupid in the first place. I don’t even know why I went along with it.”
Both Razor’s arms tightened around me, caging me in. His breath was hot in my neck and his beard prickled my skin as he spoke close to my ear in a demanding tone.
“Fuck. You’re not giving up on me like this. Not again. I let you do it once before and I haven’t had a decent night’s sleep in a fucking year. You’re mine for another two nights and I’m going to make sure you’re in my fucking bed even if I have to tie you to it.”
“Touch me again, and so help me God,” I cried, heat swirling in my belly.
My knees were about to buckle under me, but it didn’t stop me from trying to kick him in the shin. He lifted me off the ground and carried me back to the couch. He sat down and held me on his lap, his arms like bands of steel around me.
I refused to look at him. I pursed my lips together tightly.
“Lexi, don’t do this, baby.” His voice was eerily calm. “Give me a chance to show you that it can work. I get that you’re frightened. So am I. I’ve never done this before. I’ll do whatever it takes—”
I couldn’t listen any longer. He had to stop or I’d crack.
“You can leave me the fuck alone. That’s what you can do. And stop calling me baby and pretending we’re a couple. We’re not. I was forced into this by losing a damn bet. I’m never gonna love you, Razor, so get it into that thick skull of yours.”
The moment the words left my lips, I covered my mouth with my hand.
I’m lying. Blatantly lying through my fucking teeth to this man. Why? Why was I being such a damn fool and pushing him away?
The more time I spent with him, the more he was getting under my skin. I could almost see a future with him.
No. It would never work. Men only wanted what they couldn’t have. I’d seen it happen over and over. He’d grow tired of a woman like me and leave. To Razor I was just a conquest and once he had me where he wanted me, he’d move on.
“You don’t mean it. I know you, Lexi. After what happened between us . . . the mind-blowing sex last night and this morning I just don’t fucking believe that is true. I get your fear of loving anyone. I’m just as damaged as you, and until I met you, I never wanted to fall in love. Hell, I was happy screwing anyone with a warm pussy. But that changed for me and it can never go back to how it was before.”
The fear swirling in my gut was almost unbearable, yet the sincere tone of his voice managed to soothe me enough to halt my urge to get as far away from Razor as I could. My body craved him, that part I couldn’t deny.
And my heart? Oh, God, my heart was weak. What the fuck was happening to me?
I was tired of fighting, of giving in to the mistrust and anger and fear. If Razor meant what he said . . .
“Do we stand a chance? You and me?” I whispered, more to myself than him.
His body stiffened bene
ath mine and he stayed silent for the longest time. He drew long deep breaths through his nose and exhaled even slower. His grip around me loosened and I curled into a ball on his lap, hiding my face in his chest. His hand ran up and down my spine, gently caressing and soothing me.
I closed my eyes and just focused on his breathing—our breathing—inhaling and exhaling at the same time as he did. Surprisingly calming, my mind stopped racing for a while as I melted into his chest.
Slowly the fear dissolved and a feeling of safety replaced it. For a man who was known as a hothead with a volatile temperament, Razor showed me a side of him I doubted anyone had seen.
Noisy birds chirped in a nearby tree, announcing that morning had broken and a new day was about to begin. What did it hold for us? I opened my eyes to see an orange and pink sky that took my breath away with it’s beauty.
After what felt like forever, Razor spoke. His heartbeat quickened beneath my fingertips. “Nobody can say with any certainty what will happen in the future. But if you’re asking if I’m willing to be yours as much as you’ll be mine, the answer is yes.”
My heart flipped. I lifted my head and met his gaze, thrown by the intensity burning in his eyes.
“I’m a man of my word and I’ve already told you I want you. That’s not going to change anytime soon. I want to take care of you the way a man takes care of his woman. I want to protect you and make you happy. Is that enough for you?”
My lips parted to speak, but for once I had no words because they all seemed trivial. The only way I could answer was to show him. My arm slid around his neck, pulling his head down to meet my mouth for a kiss.
I put everything I had into that kiss. It was acceptance, a promise, succumbing—all rolled into one.
His dick stirred against my belly. His appetite for me was insatiable, or was it the other way around? It didn’t matter, because I shifted on his lap, straddled his hips and guided his thick cock to my entrance. He penetrated me slowly, inch by inch. His gaze never left mine as we moved together in a gentle rhythm, completely different to the violent fucking we’d become accustomed to.
It felt right. Perfectly in sync, everything else faded away.