by Jani Kay
I was falling . . . falling . . . falling.
There wasn’t a damn thing I could do to stop it. Nor did I want to.
14 — Razor
We reeked of sex, our hair and skins sweaty.
Before the lazy bastards at the compound woke to a new day, I snuck a near naked Lexi back into my room. I could easily have stayed in the rooftop garden fucking her all day long, but at some stage we’d both get hungry and thirsty. Not only that, I also had to go talk to Cobra face to face.
As I ran the water for a shower, I noticed that a mix of cum and her juices had run down her legs and dried on her skin.
“Ready to get clean?” I said with a grin. I loved that I’d marked her and my smell was all over her.
“You can have your t-shirt back now,” she said with a naughty smile that sent my heart racing. She took a step forward and stood in front of me, lifting her arms so that I could pull the t-shirt over her head.
I chucked the t-shirt into a corner and pulled Lexi under the stream of water with me, waggling my eyebrows at her. I’d fantasized about fucking her in the shower countless times, usually jerking off to the image of her pressed against the tiles and my cock in her luscious mouth.
I had the rest of my life to make every fantasy a reality. Because she looked worn out, I decided to just take care of her by washing her beautiful body and then letting her get some rest. I soaped up my hands and ran them over her skin, taking my time with her tits and working my way down to her pussy and ass. And those dirty thighs.
Fuck, just thinking about it and I was tempted to finger fuck her while I sucked on her tits, because somehow I just couldn’t get enough and I always, always wanted more. Lexi brought silence to the nagging in my mind, deviating my thoughts from darkness to her. I was consumed by my Spitfire, needing to be near her every waking moment.
Not that I was complaining. It had kinda been like that for a while, except that she’d turned me down and I’d been miserable as fuck ever since. Her revelation earlier confirmed what I already suspected. Like me, she didn’t think she fitted in anywhere. We were made of the same cloth, and I wanted to be the one who showed her that she wasn’t as misunderstood as she believed. Individually we were misfits in an otherwise conformist world, together we were perfect in spite of our flaws.
We were exactly where we belonged.
Razor and Lexi.
It couldn’t be any other way.
*****
“Take a nap while I go out to see Cobra. I won’t be long.”
Lexi yawned and curled up on the bed like a kitten.
“Hmmm,” she purred, closing her eyes. I leaned over and kissed the top of her head. What I really wanted was to crawl in behind that sexy ass and cuddle into her. Sleeping with Lexi in my arms was becoming my second favorite thing to do.
I tied the laces of my heavy boots and grabbed my cut off the chair. A soft snore came from the bed. At least I didn’t have to tie her down as I’d threatened earlier. I wasn’t fucking kidding either. A man had to do what a man had to do and I had no qualms about restraining her if she refused to be in my bed or denied me.
Bypassing the clubroom because I didn’t need any smartass comments from any of the boys who were up already, I snuck out the side door and went straight to my bike. I’d already cleared it with Hammer the day before that I was leaving the compound, and although we weren’t best of friends, he’d have my back.
I straddled my bike and kicked it to life. The sooner I got to see Cobra, the sooner I’d be back. This couldn’t wait. A talk with my brother was long overdue.
The whole ride to the hospital I mulled over in my head what I’d say to Cobra. For once I had an opportunity to make my mark in the club and I wasn’t going to miss it.
The ride seemed too short, or was it because I hadn’t been out on the road for a while and it filled me with new energy. I parked the Harley on the grass in the only shade available, right next to the sign that read Keep Off the Grass.
Cobra looked up from the television he was watching and grinned. “Thank fuck. I thought you’d forgotten me.”
I glanced at the TV and back at my brother.
“For fuck sake, brother, you’re watching fucking soap operas! It’s time to get you the fuck out of here.”
He grimaced. “I wish.” He pressed a button on the remote to turn the TV off. “You’d better have brought a fucking burger ‘cause if I have to eat the shit they dish up here one more day, I’m killing the fucking chef.”
I held up both hands. “Sorry, bro.”
“Ahhh, fuck off then,” he said, raising an eyebrow. “Unless you brought cigarettes.”
I was dying for a cigarette myself, so I dug both my hands deep into my jean pockets and lifted my shoulders. “You seem to have amnesia. You don’t smoke anymore.”
“Funny as fuck. What else am I supposed to do? Lie around and wait to get old?” A sad smile lifted the corners of his mouth.
“Yeah. I guess that we’re all happy you’re just fucking breathing. A while ago it didn’t seem you were going to make it, so getting old is good.”
His reply was gruff. “Don’t get all fucking sappy on me, brother.”
“I’m not. Anyway, I came to talk club business.”
Both his eyebrows shot up. I had his full attention.
“Lockdown is bullshit. I get why we did it to begin with, but hey, nothing has happened since the attack, yet we’re all holed up. I don’t know if it’s just in my mind, but its driving everyone a little crazy.”
Especially Lexi.
“You should be used to lock down by now. Fuck, we’ve had plenty of those since we were kids. Chopper was a lot more anal about it than me.” He must’ve seen that I wasn’t buying into it. “It’s for everyone’s protection, not just mine. Until those crazy fuckers are stopped we just don’t know what our enemies have planned.”
I’d always gone along with Cobra’s decisions as far back as I could remember. I’d put him on a fucking pedestal and worshipped him. I’d let him think for me. Allowed him and Daemon to overshadow me.
No more. I’m fucking tired of dancing to everyone else’s tunes.
Cobra was no longer God in my eyes. He was fallible like any other man.
Perishable.
More than once he nearly died on me. God didn’t die.
“Cobra, listen, bro—”
“Lockdown stays.” He crossed his arms and frowned. “It’s not fucking negotiable.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “It is when I take over as president. Step down, brother, let me handle things.”
Cobra pursed his lips, glaring at me.
“I’ve been waiting for this day. Ryder warned me.”
“Fuck Ryder. I’m your blood. I’m Chopper’s son, too. I shouldn’t have to fucking remind you.”
“Yeah, but you’ve always been a follower. Leading a group of men as wayward and crazy as the Scorpio Stingers takes a real leader, Jessie.”
I coiled back. Cobra hadn’t called me by my real name since I was nine. His jaw clenched tightly and a nerve jumped in his thick neck.
“You don’t like me challenging your leadership? Is that it?” I smirked. “Maybe you’re afraid I’ll do a better fucking job than you.”
Cobra’s eyes were on fire and his nostril flared. “I was thrust into being pres when Chopper’s health went down the gurgler, I wasn’t ready. I just don’t think you’re fit for the job yet, that’s all.”
“A lot has happened lately. Both Mia and Jade are revolting against you or Ryder being pres. It adds pressure to both of you. And to the rest of the club.”
Cobra’s eyes nearly popped out of his head. “Since when did we let our ol’ ladies dictate what happened in the fucking club? We’re the men—we’re in fucking charge,” he ranted.
I laughed. Cobra was a fool.
“You don’t know that pussy rules the world? You’ve forgotten that you put your and my and a few of your brother’s lives at risk
when we pulled that stunt and stole Mia? That’s exactly why we’re in the shit we are with a hit ordered on you.” I narrowed my eyes on him. What kind of idiot did he think I was? I wasn’t thirteen anymore. “Don’t feed me that bullshit and expect me to swallow it. Both you and Ryder are so fucking pussy whipped you don’t even come up for air.”
Cobra blinked a few times and stared at me, his mouth hanging slightly open. It took a while until his frown dissolved.
I sat down in the chair next to his bed, locking my fingers behind my head. Yeah, it was slowly dawning on him that what I said was true.
“I think it’s time for new blood.”
“Yours no doubt.”
“Exactly. Who else. I’m the only one not fucking ruled by a woman.”
“Yet.”
“Ah, so you are admitting it.”
Cobra’s lips curled into a mocking smile. “When you eventually fall in love, you’ll get it, brother. It happens to the best of men.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “It even happened to Chopper, that’s why he was so bitter after mom left and took it out on us boys.”
My eyes widened. It all kinda fell into place. And what was more, I had a damn good idea how it felt to be in love. Only I wouldn’t let my bitch rule my life. No fucking way.
“We’ll talk when I get back next week for Bella’s birthday. That’s the day I get out of here. And I swear, I’m never coming back. This is the last fucking time I’m in a hospital.”
“Cobra, I came to tell you brother-to-brother that I’m not standing back and letting Ryder become president of Scorpio Stingers. He’s already got his hands full with Jade and the twins. He’s not getting any sleep and he’s in no condition to make important decisions. Plus, there’s definitely a target on his back, too. And jade’s gonna freak the fuck out when she finds out.”
Cobra sucked in a breath. The frown was back. “Christ. How do you know for sure? I don’t even have that information.”
“One of the guys I used to hang with at the dance club in town told me that a foreign dude came in two nights ago. He overheard a conversation he was having and called to tell me that a man with an Irish accent was speaking on the phone and mentioned both my and Ryder’s names and an fuckload of money.”
“Irish?” Cobra went a shade of white. Was I imagining his hands trembling slightly?
“Yeah. Why?”
“The Irishman would be the meanest motherfucker on the planet. He’s the fucking king of hitmen, he heads a group of the highest paid killers in the world. And I’ve heard they never give up on a target either. They keep going until they make the hit. Politicians, priests, congressmen, billionaires, mafia. Nobody is off limits.”
“You know about the Irishman? How come I’ve never heard of him?”
Cobra shrugged. “He’s been around for a while. Building his kingdom. It’s one list nobody wants to be on. Including me.”
I shook my head. My brother had gone soft after that attack. “Irishman is a fucking continent away. And can’t be that bad if I’ve never heard his name. My informants keep me in the loop—”
Cobra held up his hand to quiet me. “Sorry, bro, I know you think that you’re an evil fucker, but you’ve got nothing on this bastard. He’d slice his own mother for a dollar, his sister just because it gives him pleasure. He already made mince of his brother in high school.”
As shiver ran up my spine. I’d never hurt anyone I cared about. If that made me less of an asshole, I didn’t care. Maybe I wasn’t as badass as what I believed.
“More fucking reason I need to take over as pres. I’m not afraid of Irishman and his gang. In fact, I’m gonna hunt the motherfucker down and put a stop to his empire.”
My brother looked at me as if I’d lost my mind. He was turning into a girl in front of my eyes. I’d not seen him this worried or afraid in a long time. How bad could it be?
Shaking his head, Cobra grimaced. His shoulders slumped and he looked tired. “This is the worst news I’ve had in a while. I need to speak to Ryder.” His fists slammed onto his thighs. “We gotta beef up security. Lockdown is still firmly in place. Nobody goes anywhere, you understand?”
If he was trying to shatter my confidence and scare me, it wasn’t working. If anything, it spurred me on to get to the bottom of this killing business. Lockdown was killing my spirit and everyone else’s at the same time. It had to fucking end.
I need to be free.
Lexi, too.
She wasn’t meant to be kept in a cage.
“He isn’t dangerous if I find him first and take him down.” Yeah, that was exactly what I was gonna do. I’d made up my mind on the spot. I’d work with whoever the fuck could give me info on his whereabouts, find him and slice the fucking piece of crap up before he hurt those under my protection.
“I don’t like the odds. If I were a betting man, I’d take my money and run.”
I lifted a brow. “Thanks for the support and confidence in my abilities, brother. Means a lot.”
“Don’t be an asshole, Razor. This man is in another fucking league. You have no idea.”
“Well then I’m just going to have to find out, right? As soon as I leave here, I’m looking up some buddies who owe me favors. Somebody’s gotta have info on the Irish.” I patted the sheet over Cobra’s leg. “Leave it to me. I’ve got this. You just focus on getting better and back to us in time for Bella’s birthday. I’ll have good news for you by then, and we’ll have a double celebration, okay?”
Cobra lay back against his pillow. “Only a fool would be a cocky as you. Don’t do a fucking thing till I’ve spoken to Ryder, Hammer and Ox. We gotta put our heads together. This affects everyone. You got that?”
I hadn’t listened to anyone in a long time. Why the fuck would I start now?
15 — Lexi
I’d spent most of the day looking after little Isabella while first Razor and then Mia had gone to see Cobra.
My eyes kept darting to the door all day long, watching for Razor’s return.
He’d found me in the sunny playroom with a group of women and kids. He lifted Jamie into his arms and tickled him, then got hold of Isabella and threw her into the air while she giggled herself silly.
“Hey, babe,” he greeted, but he didn’t touch me. He seemed distant, a faraway look in his eyes as if he was in another place altogether.
Jamie hung playfully onto his leg, trying to tackle the large man down as he moved closer to where I sat modelling a dog from yellow play-dough.
“Hey,” I said lazily, my gaze meeting his as my lips automatically curved into a smile. The red bandana around his head was fucking hot and I realized with a shock that I’d missed him.
His eyes were ablaze and a wicked smile spread over his face, crinkling the corners of his eyes.
There was something about Razor I couldn’t quite put my finger on. A shift of sorts I could only sense but not explain.
Did he have a fight with Cobra? Or Ryder?
An energy to him that hadn’t been present earlier meant something significant had happened, and I was curious as fuck to find out more.
“I’ve just come to have a quick shower. I gotta go out for a while. I’ll be back later tonight.” He waggled his eyebrows in a playful manner that made me squirm in my seat. Whatever Razor was on did wonders for him. I hadn’t seen him this upbeat in a while yet I knew I had nothing to do with the cause.
Is there another chick who caused his high spirits?
“Oh.” I’d been looking forward to maybe going back to the rooftop in the evening after Mia got back. “Where you going?” I kept my voice as neutral as possible, not wanting to acknowledge the twinge of jealousy that had just taken over my body.
“Business, babe. Something I gotta check out. Not sure how long I’ll be, but I’ll catch you later.” He moved closer to my ear so the kids couldn’t hear. “In bed, sexy.”
What if he was going to see another chick? Fuck another woman? How would I know?
I�
�d test him. “Can I come, too? Mia will be back any moment. I’m surprised she didn’t come with you, you’ve been gone most of the day.”
“Nah. This is men’s business, babe. I gotta go alone.”
Something was up. Something big. Razor was like a kid waiting for Santa on Christmas eve.
What if he was going to that dance club where some of his friends liked to hang out? There were always women there, ready for the picking. Or worse, what if he was meeting someone special?
*****
“Hey, sorry I’m back later than I thought I’d be. Hope Bella wasn’t any trouble?” Mia unwrapped the scarf around her neck, removed her sunglasses, and placed both items on the table before opening her arms for her daughter.
With a happy giggle Bella rushed to her mother and embraced her. I watched Mia scoop the toddler into her arms, her fat little arms circling around Mia’s neck before she planted a wet sloppy kiss on her mom’s cheek. Mia laughed and tickled her tummy before kissing her back with an exaggerated smacking sound.
For the first time something inside me clicked into place. I loved kids but I’d never wanted any of my own. Yet a sudden realization hit me out of the blue that the unnamed thing stirring inside me was nothing other than the deep desire to hold my own child close to my chest just like Mia was doing.
I’m going mental. Totally insane.
I wasn’t meant to be a mom. I’d be shit at disciplining a kid.
Some people are just not meant to be parents, and I’m one of them.
Yet I couldn’t ignore the burning sensation as my chest tightened. “So how is Cobra?” I asked, swallowing the lump in my throat. I dipped my head and picked up the toys at my feet and put them into a basket.
“He’ll be back at the club in time for Bella’s third birthday.” The relief in Mia’s voice was palpable. Her breath hitched. “I still can’t believe I’m getting my husband back.”
If it weren’t for Isabella humming a tune, the silence that fell between us would’ve been awkward.
“You’ve been through a lot. You’re a damn brave woman, Mia. I’m not sure how you do it.”