Amazon_Signs of the Secret
Page 41
Chapter 81
DAWN OF A NEW CYCLE
I sat silent with Saratiese in the cool grass on the edges of GarTaynia, staring into the approach of dusk. Three seasons had passed since Queen Perseathea had gone from us, and staring out into this evening reminded me of her. This sunset hazed just the same as that last evening I stood atop the fortress wall with my mother staring out over the twinkling fires of the fields. A warm breeze lifted through my hair, ushering in the fresh smell of the approaching spring, and I let a slight smile lift my lips. The pain in my heart remained heavy, as it always would, but it was now somehow bearable, the sting fading. I turned to Saratiese who sat palming her swollen belly.
“The shamaness said sunset.” She told me softly.
“Then you should go.” I lifted, extending my hands to her.
Saratiese looked up at me with worry in her blue eyes. “Do you think she will give blessing?”
I took her hands, pulling her up. “I do.”
“Then I’ll come for you after?”
“She’ll give the baby blessing.” I assured, squeezing her shoulder. “I promise.”
Saratiese smiled at me then turned, drifting back down the slope toward GarTaynia. I stared after the girl till she disappeared into the shadows of the village, then turned back to face the sunset.
“Askca.” A child’s voice came.
“Palius.”
The girl shuffled the last few paces up the grass. “I thought you might be here.”
“I bet you did.” I pulled Palius into a quick hug. “I’m glad you came.”
“I’ve waited long for this talk.” Palius said, dropping to sit in the cool grass.
I sat next to her. “Then you know what it is I must ask?”
“Yes.” Palius answered, hugging her knees in, her eyes on the sunset. Despite her old words, she looked so young. Like a child still unaware of what the world could do to such an innocent soul.
“I don’t know how to ask this-“
“You fear the answer.” She cut me off, her blue eyes now on me. Serious. Intense.
I swallowed, hesitating. I did fear the answer. Part of me didn’t want to know and I had considered not asking at all.
“Saratiese fears the baby will-”
“Be the Rival.” Palius cut in again.
I swallowed, apprehensive myself. “Yes.”
“Her fear is reasonable. Her baby is the Rival.”
A cold cut into my gut, and I took a deep breath, trying to think, trying to reason my way out of things. “But that can’t be. The consecrated is destined to one day battle the Rival. If it is Saratiese’s child….” I dropped my words, scared to speak them.
“And that battle will not be swift,” Palius spoke where I could not, “but will bleed out into a long journey to the death.”
I stared on her, this weighty silence tensing my sister and I. As the quite took over, I dropped my attention to the grass, twisting at the blades, letting the words sink in.
“Then you know what I must ask of you next.” I whispered, still not looking on her.
“I knew before I came.” Palius said, her words sounding warm, yet heavy in my ears. Old and ancient.
“Then tell me… am I the consecrated?”
Another breath of spring air warmed passed me, bringing a hint of wildflowers. And I waited. Silence stretched out, long moments with Palius saying nothing, and I began to wonder if she would tell me.
“I cannot reveal that to you.” Her answer was soft, almost apologetic.
“Why?” I flit anxious eyes to her. “Do you not know? Can you not see-”
“I know.”
“But these are the very trials I must prepare for.”
“The things I have seen… you are not ready to know.”
I took in a sharp breath, planning to speak, but no words came. There were no words. Palius looked up at me, a gentle and waiting expression on her face that spoke loudly. She never intended to upset me.
“You understand why it must be this way?”
I put my arm around my sister, pulling her in under my shoulder, staring out into the twinkling of sunset.
“I do.” I squeezed her, feeling her relax under my assurance. “I understand.”
And in that moment, I did understand. The transformation I had chased after since the day I lost my family had at long last come for me on my quest for the Queen. And that quest led me to more discoveries about myself than I’d ever expected or imagined. I learned how to be a woman, a warrior, and most valuable, a loyal friend. I learned my true name as a daughter, and my fate as the child of a Queen. The name of the consecrated still shrouds in the unknown, but it doesn’t matter. I’ve gained a sister and a family, and after all, that’s what I’d lost to begin with.
But in this joy, I’ve also found its paradox. None of this changes my past. And now I see, that‘s what I‘d been seeking all along. But at the end of it all, be it good or bad, I am still Askca. I am still that young girl who lost her mother and her sister… and I always will be. And a part of my soul will always hurt for them. Yearn for them. I miss them every day and I always will.
But I’ve found my peace in knowing that it isn’t the past that has to change, but how I see it. The past is as it must be, and it can be no other way. No amount of my wishing will mold it into what could have been. Because the truth is, what could have been is what happened. Everything happens for a reason, especially the pain. And my pain led me here, and here, I am happy. So at long last I accept my failures, my losses, and my heartaches. I embrace them, because it’s in them that I blossomed. I may not be able to mold my past, but there is something better to shape. My future. The rest is chasing the wind.
THE END
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Becky Rhush’s Horror short story BLACK WEDDING is featured in the current issue of Dark Tide Writers Magazine. In 2006 her Horror short story SEEING THE UNSEEN featured in The Lightening Journal. In 2007 she served as script supervisor on the short indie film SOCCER MOM. In 2005 Ms. Rhush placed top 7 in the International Write Idol Contest. She is the recipient of the2005 Frontiers In Writing Conference Award and is also a member of the Panhandle Professional Writers.
She currently resides in Texas with her partner and several fuzzy children.
Website address: www.freewebs.com/rhush
e-mail Becky J. Rhush at readrhush@hotmail.com