Chef

by Throsby, Lynda

  “Hey, slow down a little, Macen, you're almost sprinting, and nearly pulling Dixon's arm off there.”

  I stop, not realizing I’ve picked up the pace. Grandma must see the panic on my face. “Come on, let's get that pizza,” she says.

  “Yay,” Dixon shouts.

  Dixon is exhausted, so as soon as we get home, I get him bathed and put to bed early. I go to sit with Grandma in the living room where she has some wine poured out for me. “Macen love, twice today you were on pins, is it just a feeling you get?”

  I take a sip of wine and rest my head back on the couch. “Yes, I can't explain it, but I'm almost sure someone is watching me, Grandma. It happened in the park, then again on our way to the pizza place. I feel like I'm going crazy.” I turn my head towards her. “Do you think I'm going crazy? It's only started this week. Is it all this Reid stuff that's making me paranoid do you think?”

  She looks at me. “No, I don't think you're paranoid, but I am worried if someone is following you.”

  Yeah, I'm worried too.

  Sunday, we stay in. It's raining, so Dixon and I do some dinosaur drawings and play some games. I'm actually looking forward to work again tomorrow, knowing I won't be on the same shift as Reid. In my room, getting ready for bed, and as I close my blinds, I have that feeling again. I look out of the window, and I see a figure across the street, leaning on the railings of one of the houses. It's too far away and too dark to make out who it is, but he has a cigarette in his mouth. I can see the glow from it. He’s standing with one leg crossed over the other. It's definitely a male, and I can make out a beanie on his head. Oh god, just like the man I saw walking away from the school. Is it the same man? Why is he following me? The way he’s standing and the cigarette reminds me of Reid. No, it couldn't be, could it?

  Caspian

  THAT STUPID PRICK, Reid, stopped me from speaking to Macen. I wanted to walk with her and make sure the day had gone without any other incidents. Louis informed me that Reid had been intimidating her most of the day, just by watching her, so I wanted to see if she’d tell me about it. Then, he was there, behind me, watching us — the fucking ass.

  He’s defiantly going, after what I witnessed today at the fridge.

  There is no way I’m having him treating her like this. I asked him what he was doing, standing there, and he just held his cigarette up to show me that’s what he was doing. I told him I wanted to see him on Monday before his shift started. By the time I got onto 5th Avenue, she was long gone. I'm so conflicted with my feelings for her. I can't stop thinking about her, but my business head is telling me to leave well alone when my heart knows I can't do that.

  I wake up with a start. I'm soaking wet from sweating. I look at my watch, and it's 5.30 a.m. I was dreaming about being younger — someone had me and was hurting me. Fuck my pops for coming back into my life and stirring all this shit up. I’ve never dreamed anything like this before. There is no way I can sleep now. I may as well go for a run then hit the gym as I’m all sweaty anyway. I wish I were sweaty from being with Macen. Shit, where did that come from?

  After my run and gym session, I get dressed and go into Casper's. The team won't be arriving for a while yet, but I've got lots of paperwork to do, and I want to see if I can get hold of my lawyer about the Vegas restaurant and get the checks done on it. I know it's Saturday, but when you pay them big bucks like I do, they work when you need them. I put the call into Patrick, my lawyer, and ask him to get his team onto it. I set up a meeting with him for next Friday when he should have all the information together.

  The morning goes slowly. Macen isn't in this weekend so I'm not going to stick around for long. I don't want to see that dipshit, Reid. I'll see him on Monday and fire his ass then.

  I leave the office and decide to go for a walk in Central Park before I head home. I want to think things through, and a walk in the fresh air helps. I'm going to do some research on my younger life and try to find out who changed my name and why it was changed. Maybe if I check with the Florida state courts and see if I can get a copy of the petition to change my name, it may shed some light on it.

  I’m just about to head home when I spot Macen. I’m 99.9% sure it’s her although she’s wrapped up well with it being so cold out. She’s with a kid and an older lady. The kid’s holding the older lady’s hand, not Macen’s, so maybe it’s a nephew? She never said anything about a kid, but then again, I never asked her. All she said was she would give 110% commitment to Casper’s, which was good enough for me, and to be honest, she’s done that this week.

  I stand and watch them walking when suddenly she stops and turns around. She's looking for someone, scouring the faces of everyone around her. I'm standing next to a tree, and I duck behind it so she can't see me. I pop my head around, and I see the older lady looking around too. Maybe they're waiting for someone else to join them — the kid's parents or someone? I watch, still hidden behind the tree, and they carry on walking. One thing, I know for sure it's her. I couldn't mistake her beautiful face. I’m wondering if the kid is hers. Is it lying to me if she didn't disclose it? Fuck, something else to ponder on.

  I’ve been going through article after article on my younger years, and I think the dream last night must stem from that. I can’t believe all this is about my family and me, and I don’t remember anything. I’ve had enough, and I need a break. I would love nothing more than to bury myself in Macen to help me forget all this stuff, but that’s not going to happen. I need to do something though. Maybe if I visit Arthur’s again, that will give me what I need and help me forget for a while?

  The communal room at Arthur's is not doing it for me, so I go up to a private room area and see if there is anything up there that will help. I enter the viewing area of a room, which is occupied by two women and one man. This is better, and it looks like they have only just started, as the women are both still in their bras and panties, although the man is on the edge of the bed, naked. He pulls one girl to him by the waist, who has long dark hair with purple streaks in it and a stunning curvy figure. He starts to lick her tummy and slowly slips his hand into her barely-their panties down the front. He starts stroking her pussy and inserts a finger or two, and she starts to gyrate on his hand. With his other hand, he pulls the other woman, who has shorter blond hair, to his side, stops licking the dark-haired woman but keeps finger-fucking her.

  “Take her bra off,” he demands the blonde, and she does. “Now yours,” he says, and she takes that off too. His other hand then disappears down the front of her panties, and he finger fucks them both. “Suck her tits” he commands the blonde, and she turns to the dark-haired woman and takes a tit into her mouth. He then takes one of the blonde woman's tits into his mouth. The dark-haired woman then grabs his cock and starts wanking him at the same time.

  They are all moaning, and the dark-haired woman explodes on his hand. She stops pulling on his cock, and once she comes down from her orgasm, she drops to her knees in front of him and takes his cock into her mouth. He’s still finger-fucking the blonde, who by the looks of it is getting close to her own orgasm. This is hot, and I’m rock hard, but I’m not ready to rub one out just yet. I want to see the penetration first.

  The blonde explodes. She moves away, lowering her panties, so she’s standing naked in front of him. He pulls the dark-haired woman’s head off his cock. “No, I want to be inside to cum.” She gets up, and she too takes off her panties — they are both now naked.

  The dark-haired one pushes him backward on the bed, so he is lying down. She crawls on top of him and edges up his body towards his face, then manages to turn so she’s facing the other woman, edging back slightly until she is kneeling up over his head and he is looking straight into her pussy. He licks his lips, then blows gently onto her pussy. The blonde woman then straddles his legs, positioning herself above his cock. She puts her hands on the waist of the dark-haired one, then together they both lower themselves: the dark-haired one on his face and the blonde on his co
ck. Fuck, I take my cock out, and I start to rub gently over the tip, spreading the pre-cum over my cock, up and down. I want to try to wait and cum when they do.

  They are all going at it. The blonde is bouncing up and down hard on his cock, and the women have their tongues in each other's mouths. The dark-haired one is gyrating on the guy's face, grinding down on it, and I'm surprised he can breathe. She is flicking the clit of the other woman while he is pushing up as hard as he can each time she slams back down on his cock. He is now putting a finger into the ass of the dark-haired woman and pumping in and out as she gyrates on his face. She screams with the release of her orgasm, panting hard and has slowed down the gyrating while he milks her for every drop she has, sucking her dry. He is still pushing up hard into the blonde as she slams down on him. She's getting frantic now, and the dark-haired one leans her head down and starts licking his cock and her pussy as they slam into each other. She's trying to flick the other woman's clit with her tongue and suck the juices from them both, and he has spread her butt cheeks and is using his tongue on there as well as his fingers. The blonde screams out over and over. She’s now grinding down hard on his cock, milking him as he explodes inside her. The dark-haired woman is lapping it all up from them both. He is quiet as he lets his release take him away.

  I explode the same time as the blonde woman. I try to be quiet, but it’s all too much. It’s fucking bliss. I'm cleaning up when the curtain suddenly pulls back, and a woman comes in. Fuck, she is hot. She sits next to me. She watches the three in the room as they come down from their orgasms, still licking each other and caressing each other. Suddenly, the woman next to me edges her chair a bit close to me and takes my semi-hard cock into her hand. She starts to pump. Fuck, I come to watch, not participate, but I'm too far gone to stop her.

  The three in the room move around, and the dark-haired one lies on her back on the bed. The man moves above her, and the blonde gets behind him. They are going at it again. He enters the dark-haired one as the blonde inserts her fingers into his ass and starts pumping away. The woman next to me moves faster and harder, and in no time, I cum all over her hand. I breathe out and close my eyes tightly, hoping she's gone before I open them again. The only image I have in my head is Macen. How I wish it were her here with me, but it's not, and I feel guilt and anger. I grab a handful of tissues and wipe myself clean. I shoot up from my chair, fasten my zip, and storm out as she’s still sitting there. I don't even look at her. I didn't want that.

  I leave Arthur's. It's late now and dark, so I don't go through the park. I use the main streets to get home. Any New Yorker will tell you to steer clear of Central Park once it's dark. I can't shake the anger and guilt I feel as I get near home. Why do I feel guilty? I feel as though I've just cheated on Macen, which is fucking insane because we will never be an item. I hate this feeling. I feel drained, sad, and angry all at once, and I shouldn't.

  In my apartment, I pour myself a drink then head to the shower. I stand under the hot showerhead for ages, just letting the water wash away the guilt and anger that’s built up. Everything comes flowing through my head: Reid, my poppa, my momma and me when I was young and what happened to me, Macen — what am I going to do about Macen? Should I get rid of her too? Because, in all honesty, I don't see how I am going to keep my hands off her if she sticks around. Every day is torture when she’s near, and every night is torture because she isn't near. I head to bed, hoping I can sleep.

  Again, I wake with a start, and this time, in my dream, I remembered seeing my momma lying on the bed covered in blood. I remembered someone grabbing me and running with me. I remembered being hurt and crying. I’m going to throw up. I run to the bathroom and collapse on the floor by the toilet bowl. I heave and heave, but all that comes out is bile. I curl up into a ball. Fucking dick, why did I have to run into my poppa? I’d obviously shut all the trauma out, and reading all about it must have triggered my memories. Now, not only do I have to put up with remembering the bullying trauma in the homes, but this shit as well. I feel sick and violated. I think that's why I was so angry yesterday at Arthur’s because I felt like that woman came in and violated me. That was a viewing area, not a participation area. I'm supposed to be safe in there, and I should have told her to stop straight away, but I didn't. I let her do that to me, just like when I was taken. I let him do that to me. It feels the same. I feel like my life is one big fucked up mess all of a sudden and I feel like I’m losing control over it. It’s a snowball effect, of everything, and I can’t stop it from getting bigger.

  I’m by the window having a coffee, and it’s a shit, miserable, rainy day. It matches my mood perfectly. I feel terrible, and I can’t shake it. The only time I don’t feel terrible is when I think about Macen. I’ve got it so bad for her, and I don’t even know her. I knew the minute I saw her — before she even entered Casper’s last Monday, that I wanted her. I knew it in my heart. My heart knows it now.

  Macen

  I WAKE UP to Dixon jumping on me again. This time, I know I have to get up and take him to school, as I'm on the late shift again today. I remember I won't have to put up with Reid because he will be on the early shift, and I feel such relief at that thought. “Momma, it's time to get dressed. It's raining again. Can I put my rain boots on?” I smile at him; I know he wants to put his rain boots on because he loves splashing in all the puddles. “Yes, of course you can, as long as you don't get your trousers wet for school.”

  I walk him to school, and I was right, he runs ahead of me splashing in all the puddles. I’m glad I put a clean pair of trousers in my bag because I know he will be soaked when we get there. “Dixon, don't go ahead too far, please. You know the rules. Never leave momma,” I tell him as he moves further on ahead of me. A little dog comes out of one of the brownstones I'm passing and starts yapping at me, just as a young girl comes out to collect him, apologizing to me. I crouch down and let the little terrier smell my hand so he feels safe enough that I can pet him then the young girl picks him up, apologizes again, then disappears up the steps to the house.

  I look ahead of me and can see Dixon way ahead but stopped at the side of the street — he knows he's not allowed to cross the street without me. I can see him talking, but can't see who he’s talking too. As I quicken my pace, Dixon looks my way, and I see him point. Then he turns to whoever he's talking to, and I see a hand pat Dixon on the head. I start sprinting towards him in a panic. He knows not to talk to strangers. I see him wave, and as I get to him, I throw my umbrella to the floor and pull him into me “Who were you talking too?” I ask, looking down the street in the direction he was facing. I just see a male figure in a beanie hat turning a corner, but I don't know who it is. I look at Dixon in a panic, running my hands over his head and coat. He looks fine and relaxed except for the furrow on his brow.

  “Dixon, what have I told you about talking to strangers? Do you know who that was?” He shakes his head, no. “What did he say to you?”

  “He asked me what my name was. He said he was a friend of my momma, Macen, so I thought it was okay to speak to him. Did I do wrong, Momma?”

  I grab him into a hug and just hold him. “He knew you, Momma, he knew your name.”

  I pull back to look him in the face. “Dixon, I don't know who that was. Have you seen him before?” He shakes his head, no again. “What else did he say to you?”

  “He asked me my name, and I told him. Then he asked was I three? I told him no, silly, I'm five and a half. Then I pointed at you and said here's Momma now. He said he had to go and said goodbye to me. I waved goodbye to him as he left.”

  I hug him again. Who the hell was that? Was it the same guy I saw walking away from school on Friday? Now he's approached Dixon. This is serious and cements my feelings of being watched as being real, not just my imagination. I need to warn school. What if it's a predator picking out his next victim? But he knew my name. How? How does he know me? Was he watching me on Saturday? Did he hear Grandma call me by my name? Did he get cl
ose enough? I'm shaking, still holding onto Dixon. I'm terrified. “Was that all he said to you, Dix?”

  “He just said goodbye, see you soon, Dixon.”

  I panic, stand up, snatch the umbrella, and grab Dixon's hand.

  I walk us across the street and Dixon tries to let go of my hand, but I’m holding onto him tight. “Momma, can I go, please?” He wants to jump in the puddles.

  “No Dix, come on, we’ll be late. You can’t play in the puddles now.” He sulks and starts dragging his feet to make a point. “Hey, Dixon, come on, we’re nearly there, and we need to get you cleaned up ready for your day at school. Okay, little man?” he nods, but he’s still sulking.

  At school, he runs off to his friends once I've cleaned him up, and I speak to his teacher to let her know about the incident with the stranger and Dixon. They are going to look at the CCTV from Friday and talk to the police. It puts my mind at ease a little but not a lot.

  I sprint home in the rain, running into the apartment and telling Grandma what just happened. We call the police to report it, and because he’s approached Dixon now it’s a completely different ball game. I haven’t been able to prove that anyone’s been following me but now this guy has approached Dixon, and they say I’ve done the right thing. I’m taking no chances.

  I get the tube to work because of the rain. I'm a little early and in hindsight should have stayed back a bit because now I've just run into Reid, outside the back of the restaurant, having a cigarette. He knew I would be coming in any time now — he knew he would see me. He is out here in his normal clothes? Does that mean he's on a late as well?