Chef

by Throsby, Lynda

  We sit like this for a while. I know exactly what triggered my panic. He bit my nipple. It was very gentle, but it was enough to bring back the memories of that night and what my attacker did to me. I'm scarred from him biting my nipple so hard. The doctor thought it might do some permanent damage to me, and that I may lose the sensations there altogether. Well, it’s clear that I haven't lost the sensations. When he was sucking my nipples and licking them, I wanted to tell him to make love to me quickly. I felt the urge. I felt the need. I felt wanted and loved by his touches. I know it's nothing like my attack. This is completely different. He told me the other day that making love and having all those feelings would wipe out the bad from that night. That remembering all the good feelings would become normal, and he's right. Just remembering those feelings is getting me going again. It's not fair on him though.

  We sit in silence, and I feel his breathing become labored. He must be exhausted. He's fallen asleep, and I don't want to move and wake him. I look into his lap as it's not far from my face and he's still hard. I can see his cock tenting in his slacks. I wonder what it feels like. I have never had the desire to look before, but I want to see Caspian's. I feel embarrassed having these thoughts, but each time I’ve felt him, it's felt like stone. How can something like that be so hard? It's all flesh. I feel sorry for him being hard all the time and me not being able to help him out or do anything about it. I wonder though. What if I touched it? Would that help? Maybe if I stroke it — that's what happens in the books I read. The woman strokes it or blows on it. I don’t think I can put it in my mouth. Maybe if I touched it though.

  I slowly move my hand to his thigh. He doesn’t move, so I edge it up slightly towards his cock. He sighs, and I see it grow bigger — is that even possible? My hand is gently moving up until I brush it with my fingers. He moves. I look at him, but he hasn’t opened his eyes. His breathing is slightly more uneven now. I move again and brush again, a little firmer than the first time. Then I move my fingers back and forth at his crotch, catching him with each stroke. He wiggles his behind on the couch, and slightly jutting his hips upwards. I think he wants more.

  I creep my fingers onto his bulge, very gently. Wow, it's hard. It’s like stone. I want to rub it with my full hand and not just my fingers so I can get a good feel of it. I gently palm it and massage, and he starts jutting upwards, a little firmer this time, trying to get more traction from my hand. I press harder and palm harder, up and down. Suddenly, he grabs my hand and stops me. “Macen?” he questions. I look up at him, sheepishly. He's looking down at me with hooded eyes, looking gorgeous in a sleepy daze. I smile gingerly at him, embarrassed he’s caught me. I go to move my hand away, but he clamps down, making me press harder on his cock. “Macen, look at me, baby. Do you want to do this? Is this something you want to try, to explore? You're not just doing this because you think you have an obligation?”

  I shake my head and stare at him. “I wanted to feel it?” My voice is shaky.

  He smiles down at me, a great big smile. “Baby, if you want to, then I will not argue with you. But you don't have to. I can take care of myself in the shower like I usually do, thinking about my fucking hot-as-hell girlfriend.”

  My face drops — his hot girlfriend. He lifts my chin, "Macen. You, you are my fucking hot-as-hell girlfriend."

  He laughs, and I do too because he knew exactly where my mind went.

  “I would like to feel it, Caspian. Only by hand,” I add hastily. He laughs again. He is wide-awake now. “Do you want to just feel like this?” He still has hold of my hand, and he starts to move it up and down, pressing harder on himself. I shake my head, no. He furrows his brows. “You tell me what YOU want, Mace. We only do what you want?”

  I bite my lip inside. I feel stupid, nervous, and embarrassed all at once. I look at him, rubbing himself using my hand, and I clear my throat. “In the flesh,” I whisper.

  I hear his sharp intake of breath, and I look up at him through my eyelashes as he leans forward, tilts my chin up and kisses me hard. He lies back, then he unbuttons his slacks, lifts his ass, and pulls them down with his Calvin's. His cock springs free. It reminds me of the Jack-in-the-box toy that Dixon used to have, and I laugh. He looks at me, a bit concerned; I hold my hand over my mouth to stifle the laugh, but it doesn't work. He scowls at me. “What's so funny?” I laugh harder because he's so offended that I'm laughing at his cock. I can't help it, and I go into hysterics at the look on his face. He's not amused, which makes me laugh more. I end up on the floor, curled up, laughing into a cushion that he hits me with playfully.

  I calm myself down and peep out from under the cushion. He’s stark naked on the couch. He’s sitting on the edge, looking down at me on the floor. “Have you quite finished with your little laughing fit at the expense of my cock?” He raises his eyebrows at me, and it sets me off again. “Right, that's it.”

  Uh oh, I watch from behind my cushion as he gets up off the couch. He's towering above me, and his cock is stuck out rigid. That stops me in my tracks. He's a sight to behold that's for sure. I need to keep this memory. He stands with his hands on his hips, looking down at me, smiling that cocky smile of his that I love. It's assertive Caspian standing above me right now.

  He takes one of my hands and starts to help me up. He then lifts me up over his shoulder. “I think I need to show you to your room now, young lady. Laughing at my cock is a serious crime. I need to think of a suitable punishment for you.”

  I swat his naked backside as it's right in my view, then I grab his ass cheeks in both my hands and start kneading them. He swats my ass.

  “Take me to your room, Caspian,” I whisper. He stops walking.

  “You sure?” I swat his ass again.

  “Yep.”

  He moves, almost running with me. He kicks open a door, and before I know it, he lowers me very slowly to my feet then sits me down on the edge of his bed.

  He's standing right in front of me, naked. His cock is eye level, and I can't stop staring at it. If I just reach out, I can take it. I don't even realize my hand is doing what I was thinking, as I wrap my fingers around his cock. It's huge. I start to feel it properly, and I gasp. “Wow, it feels like velvet. It’s so smooth to the touch.”

  I hear his breathing getting more and more ragged as I feel and squeeze his cock. It's wet at the tip where the hole is. I rub my finger over it and smear the liquid over the top of his cock. I look up and see his eyes are screwed shut. I stop moving. “Am I hurting you, Caspian?” Oh shit, what have I done? Does this hurt him? He shakes his head, no, then slowly opens his eyes. I see the love and adoration all over his face. He reaches out and strokes down my cheek. “I love you, Macen. I don't care if you do any of this. I love you so fucking much.” He leans down and takes my mouth gently. I still have his cock in my hand, and I start to stroke him. He takes my hand, and he shows me what to do, gripping my fingers around it as much as I can, adding pressure, then moving it up and down. He lets go once I have the rhythm, and he continues kissing me as I continue rubbing his cock.

  He breaks off, standing up straight, and jutting his hips harder into my hand. He grabs my shoulders, but not tightly. I think he just needs something to hold while he thrusts. I start moving faster with his thrusts, and I watch his face closely. I see mixed emotions cross it fleetingly, sometimes he looks in pain, then it changes to adoration, then pain again, then love, and he never takes his eyes off mine. I'm getting faster and faster, and it’s wet with all the cum seeping out slowly, then, “Oh, fucking hell, Macen, I'm coming. FUCK!” he screams that last word out as he thrusts. Cum is shooting out of the end like a fire hose and its squirting all over my chest. I don't stop pumping him — I love it. I love I can do this to him and for him, and the feelings I have watching his ecstasy is making me feel brave, and I have this urge to taste his cum. I lean down, and I lick the top of his cock. “FUCKING HELL,” he screams, and it squirts out more, right into my face. I look up at him, licking my lips, as he wipes
the cum off with his thumb, then he takes my face, and he smothers me with kisses. I let go of his cock, and I fall back on the bed. He falls on top of me, but panics, trying to lift himself up quickly before I go into meltdown. I hold him to me tightly. “No, stay. I want to feel you. I want you to feel me, and I want you to touch me — show me how it should feel, Caspian, show me?” I say into his ear as I hold his head close to mine. I don't let him look at me or ask if I'm sure. I take his hand and place it between my legs. I want him to touch me. I want to feel love.

  He starts to move his hand, rubbing me gently. I start to move with his hand, wanting the friction. “Show me, feel me?” I say to him. He lifts, and I undo the button and zip on my slacks. I raise my hips and pull them down with my panties. I see the look on his face, asking me with his eyes if I’m sure, and I just nod and smile. He gets up off me, and kneels on the floor, removing my slacks and panties completely, taking his time as he does, before he spreads my legs wider so he’s between them. He looks at my most private parts and then into my eyes. I nod. I feel brave and powerful — like I have power here, and I’m in control. The feelings are so overwhelming. He leans forward and kisses my pelvis, then peppers downwards with kisses. He's going to kiss me there. I've read about this in my books, and the women in those books can't get enough of it. I want to try this. I want to have new feelings.

  I lay my head back and wait. But am I waiting for the panic to set in or something else? He blows on me gently. He must be able to see how wet I am? I feel embarrassed. I look at him one more time, just as he bends his head and licks me from bottom to top, keeping his eyes on me at all time, trying to gauge my reaction. I can't take my eyes off him as he repeats the action a few times. It is so erotic, watching him watching me as he licks me there. He sucks my clit, then licks, then sucks again, and I start to squirm. I have never felt anything like this in my life. I want to scream. I grab his head, and I pull on his hair, yanking him further into me. I want more. I want to feel him. I want him to lick inside.

  Just then, he puts his tongue at my entrance and pushes inside me slowly. I shudder, then he sucks my clit again, but this time I feel his fingers playing at my entrance. I'm pulling his hair hard; squashing his nose into me. I'm not sure he can breathe, but I don't care. I love how it feels, and I want more. Then he does it — he inserts his finger into me and starts gently pumping in and out, still sucking and flicking my clit. “More!” I shout, so he pumps faster, deeper, and harder. Then it's two fingers. I hear how wet I am. I need to let him up for air, but I don't want him to stop, I don't want him to break off. Then it hits me. The explosion in my body like someone lit a firecracker inside me. I scream out so loud I think I've deafened him as well. “Caspian, Casp, don't stop, oh, fuck, fuck, fuck. I fucking love you.” I can't see because there are lights going off in my head, and my body is tingling all over. I feel like I’m convulsing. I feel euphoric, elated, ecstatic, and emotional all at the same time. I cry, big sobbing cries, and I don’t know why.

  Before I know it, he’s got me in his arms, hugging me to him tightly, comforting me. “Shhh, baby, it’s okay. I’m so sorry. I knew it was too much, too soon. Shhh, Mace, I’m sorry.” He keeps repeating how sorry he is. I look up into his worried face, and I stroke his cheek.

  His stubble is soaking wet from my cum, but he looks so adorable. “You didn't do anything wrong, Caspian. I can't explain how I'm feeling right now, except to say, I probably feel how you felt when I was making you cum. I don't know why I'm crying. I have never felt anything like that in my life. It felt out of this world, literally.” I smile from ear to ear at him, and the relief on his face makes my heart melt. He hugs me, rocking us on the bed.

  “I thought I’d made it worse, Mace. I thought you hated me when you cried so hard.”

  I shake my head. “I love you, Caspian. I just can't put into words how much. You just gave me my first ever orgasm.”

  I laugh, and he laughs with me.

  We go into his bathroom to clean up, and I grab a towel to cover up. I feel strange being naked, I've never been naked in front of anyone voluntarily. He stands in front of me, unfolds the towel, and lets it drop to the floor. He pulls me to him by my hips and looks down at his hands. “I fucking love these hips. They are made for me, Mace. No one else, just me.”

  I look down and go to cover my chest. “No, don't,” he says. “Please don't feel uncomfortable with me. You are perfect. I want to see all of you. Come on, let's have a shower, then if you want, I will show you your room.”

  My face falls. My room! That hurt. A tear falls down my cheek, and he sees it and wipes it away, then lifts my face to his. “Hey, what's wrong? What did I say? We don't have to have a shower together if it's that traumatic for you.”

  I move from his hold and grab the towel off the floor to cover up and head back to his room to get my slacks.

  He has no idea, does he?

  Caspian

  OH FUCK, WHAT have I done? She's angry with me, and I don't know why. I follow her into the bedroom where she’s picking her clothes up off the floor and is heading for the door. I move quickly and take her hand. “Hey, what's wrong? Is it the shower, Mace? You can have one in your room if you want?”

  She glares at me, then moves to leave the room again, so I pull on her hand. “Macen, talk to me, baby, please, what did I say?”

  She stops, then turns to me. “So, you get what you want, then it's off you go, little girl, to your own room?”

  Oh fuck. I roll my eyes and look up to the ceiling, letting go of her hand and rubbing my stubble. She bolts out of the door, and I follow and watch her open each door, looking for a spare room, then I move behind her and pull her into my chest. She tries to wriggle free. “Macen, please stop. That is not what I meant. I didn't want to presume you would sleep with me. I would rather you did sleep with me in my bed than be in another room, driving me mad because I want to be next to you, but you've come so far tonight, further than I could ever have imagined, and I didn’t want to jeopardize that. I’m so fucking proud of you, and I fucking love you. Please, if you don't think I'm after just one thing, I would love for you to sleep in my arms. Please, baby.”

  She tilts her head to look up at me. I release her, turn her in my arms, and I crouch down to be at eye level. “Macen, please stay with me tonight in my bed?”

  She nods yes, and I sigh out in relief. “Can we take a shower now? It means scrubbing your scent off me, but I will rectify that later.” I wink at her, and she slaps my shoulder.

  We shower, cleaning and exploring each other, and I notice a scar around her left nipple, the one I nibbled on when she froze. I suspect this is from her attack, but that's a question for another day. She then puts one of my t-shirts on to sleep in. I would prefer her naked, but if she feels more comfortable in that, then one step at a time.

  I'm still in awe of her. I can't believe we've come so far. I know the feelings we have for each other are deep, and I can only put it down to that. She trusts me, and that is massive for me. I trust her too — when I have never trusted or loved anyone in my life. She is it; she is mine, and I will do whatever it takes to protect her. We snuggle in bed. I hope to God I don't have a bad dream tonight. I don't want to scare her. “Baby, I know one of your triggers is my hard cock touching you. I have to warn you; he will be rock hard throughout the night and especially in the morning with you being in my arms. I don't want you to freak. I want you to try and remember how he felt in your hands. He's not your enemy — you need to think that. Come on, lets chant, ‘Caspian's cock is heaven. It is not my enemy, Caspian's cock—”

  She slaps my chest playfully and laughs hard. “You weirdo.”

  I wake suddenly. It’s not from me dreaming this time, but Macen is thrashing about next to me. She’s shouting ‘no, no,’ and crying. Fuck. I kneel up and take her in my arms, holding her to my chest to comfort her. She’s still asleep as I rock her in my arms. “Shhh, baby. Macen, Macen. Wake up, baby, look at me.”

&nbs
p; She slowly opens her eyes, and I look down into her terrified face. Realization dawns where she is and who with. She wriggles free from my arms and scrambles out of bed.

  “Macen, look at me.”

  She walks to the bathroom, ignoring me. “MACEN!” I say firmly. She stops, “Look at me!” She doesn't. I get off the bed and walk up behind her, putting my hands on her arms. She flinches. “Macen, it's okay, look at me?” I turn her slowly and gently into my arms, pulling her to my chest.

  She wraps her arms around me tightly, pulling me to her, and she cries into my chest. “I can't do this to you, Caspian. It's not fair to you. It's best if I just leave.” Not this again. I move back and tilt her head up to me. “Baby, we did this dance a few hours ago. I'm not going anywhere. Screw this being fair to me. If you’re not with me, then that isn’t fair to me. How is that going to help? I'm here for you, just as you would be if it were me that had been thrashing about in a nightmare. Let's clean your face, and then I want you to tell me what happened, okay?”

  I get us some water, and we get back into bed. I sit upright, and she lays her head on my chest. “Do you get a lot of nightmares, Mace?” She shakes her head, no. “Not many, no. It only usually happens when something triggers it.” I think what it could be. Maybe it's the intimacy we shared earlier? Then I remember my cock was hard when I woke up. “I wonder if you felt my cock on your backside, and that triggered it?” She looks up at me, smiles, and shrugs. “I don't remember, but it’s possible, I suppose.”

  “What about the dream. Do you remember what it was about?”

  She thinks for a minute. She sighs. I know she finds this hard. “Yes, it was him rubbing his cock on me, down there.” She nods downwards. “He was rubbing it on me before ramming into me, hurting me. It was that.”

  “Then I definitely think you felt my cock in your sleep, and it triggered it.”