The Trouble with Great Aunt Milly

by Alice Ross

  ‘I hope you are not minding, James, but I am svapping the seats with a friend of Eric’s. Which means vee are on the same table. Das ist gut, nein?’

  ‘Nein,’ James wanted to shout. ‘Das ist nicht bloody gut.’ But he didn’t. Given Anya’s recent odd behaviour, he’d no idea how she’d react. She might cause a scene – the last thing he wanted. He therefore opted for a cool approach, after all, there were eight other people on the table – including Alex – to share the burden.

  ‘Right,’ he said, forcing a smile onto his face. ‘That’s, er, great.’

  ‘I am thinking it is very nice vedding.’

  ‘Oh, it is. A lovely wedding.’

  ‘And I am thinking Mandy is making the lovely bride.’

  He raised an eyebrow. Never before had he heard Anya bestow a compliment on man or beast. ‘She does,’ he agreed warily.

  ‘I am thinking it must be very nice to be the bride.’

  He waggled a finger in his ear. Had he just heard correctly? That Anya had all but said she’d like to be a bride? That she’d like to be married? Anya? Married? The very notion was … unthinkable. For a start, he couldn’t imagine a man who’d hold her interest for more than two minutes. And that was assuming there was a man prepared to take her on. But what niggled him most was why on earth she was telling him this.

  Two hours later, Eric, Mandy and Alex arrived at the hotel and the party took their seats for the meal.

  ‘Gosh, I’m starving,’ puffed Alex, slipping into the chair next to James. ‘I’ve had the most brilliant day so far though. And I took some amazing pictures at the farm. I can’t wait to show you.’

  James’ stomach somersaulted as he met her twinkling gaze.

  ‘And it’s all thanks to you,’ she continued. ‘Without your camera, the day would’ve been completely ruined.’

  He rolled his eyes. ‘No it wouldn’t. You’re far too resourceful to have let that happen. You’d have thought of something else, I’m sure.’

  ‘Well, I’m not. I was in such a state I didn’t have a clue what to do. You were the first person I thought of to help me.’

  A bubble of pride expanded in his chest as she beamed at him.

  Then a phone beeped.

  ‘Woops, that’s me.’ She fished around in her little bag and pulled out her mobile. Her face dropped. ‘Oh, it’s from-’

  She didn’t need to say anymore. He knew instinctively it was from Piers.

  She stuffed the phone back in her bag and began nibbling her lip. ‘Look, James. About Piers-’

  James didn’t know if he wanted to hear “about Piers” or not. But before he could make up his mind, someone asked:

  ‘Are you vanting the vine?’

  He whipped his head round to find Anya, in the seat on the other side of him, holding up a bottle of white wine.

  His spirits nosedived. So focussed had he been on Alex, that he hadn’t noticed Anya. What with that and the bloody Piers thing, he had a strong foreboding the meal might not be half as enjoyable as he’d first thought.

  It wasn’t.

  Not even a quarter.

  In truth, it had turned into something of an ordeal, Alex being completely monopolised by the guy on her right, who evidently fancied himself as a photographer. Consequently, he was left with little option than to listen to Anya. Not that he was listening. Apart from the odd grunt or muttering the occasional “really?” he paid her very little attention. What he would give her credit for though, was the admirable way she kept topping up his wine glass because, if he was going to spend all day in close proximity to the woman, large amounts of alcohol were an absolute must.

  By the time the meal finished, James was semi-inebriated. Ridiculous, he chided himself, given the evening ceilidh hadn’t even started yet. Guests began mingling, swapping seats, heading to the bar or outside for a cigarette. Alex was still chatting to the guy on her right, whose girlfriend had now joined them. Anya prattled on about a new veterinary procedure being trialled in Holland. All at once James had the horrible sensation of being hemmed in. He ran a hand over his brow and discovered he was sweating. He needed some space. And a shower. Mandy had hired a couple of rooms upstairs – one for the bridesmaids to use, one for the best man and ushers. His stuff was up there, Eric having collected it the previous day. If he could just sneak up to the room for an hour and have a kip and a shower before the ceilidh started, he’d be right as rain.

  ‘If you’ll excuse me, Anya,’ he said, pushing back his chair and thrusting to his feet. ‘I’m going to take a bit of time out.’

  Her eyes grew wide. ‘Are you taking the air? I can be coming vith you. I, too, am needing the air.’

  ‘No. I’m going to grab an hour’s sleep.’

  ‘Sleep? Vhere are you sleeping?’

  ‘There’s a room reserved for the ushers upstairs. I’m going to get my head down for an hour before the ceilidh.’

  A strange look crept over her face. A look he couldn’t begin to identify. ‘A room upstairs. Very gut. Then I am seeing you later.’

  James didn’t make any excuses to Alex. She was still deep in conversation. And besides, he wasn’t sure he wanted to hear what she’d been about to tell him about Piers.

  His head swam as he made his way up the stairs. Yet again, he’d had far too much to drink. After today he’d have a complete detox, a whole month without alcohol. He’d done it before, and he could do it again. But for now, all he wanted to do was sleep.

  In the room he pulled the curtains to and stripped down to his shirt and boxers. Leaning against the pillows, he closed his eyes and promptly fell into a deep slumber.

  Chapter 18

  James awoke with a start. Somebody was fumbling with the buttons on his boxers.

  ‘Anya! What the hell are you doing?’

  ‘I vos thinking vee might be having a bit of the fun,’ she replied coyly.

  James’ eyes grew wide. ‘Fun? What do you mean fun? And why are you-?’

  ‘I vos thinking …’ she slithered up the bed until her face was only inches from his, ‘… that vee are becoming closer these last veeks and that maybe vee could-’

  ‘No! We couldn’t!’ he exclaimed. ‘We definitely couldn’t. Now, please, get out.’

  She slipped off the bed. ‘I think you are not knowing vot you are missing.’ Reaching behind her, she tugged down the zip of her dress. ‘I think you are getting nice surprise.’

  ‘I don’t like surprises,’ protested James, rolling off the other side of the bed and jumping to his feet. ‘Now, please. Will you just go!’

  Anya’s dress fell to her feet, revealing a lacy white bra and matching panties. ‘This surprise you cannot fail to be liking.’

  James opened his mouth to inform her otherwise, when all at once there was a knock on the door. ‘Come in!’ he shrieked.

  Alex’s head appeared. ‘Hi. I’m just checking you’re-’

  She broke off as her gaze landed on Anya, hands on hips, in her underwear.

  ‘Oh,’ she muttered. ‘I didn’t realise- That is, I’m sorry if-’

  ‘Anya was just leaving,’ declared James.

  Anya yanked up her dress.

  ‘Well, I’ll go and-’ mumbled Alex.

  ‘No! Don’t go,’ he pleaded, shooting her a meaningful look. ‘We need to … have that chat. About the … the camera.’

  Evidently grasping his meaning, Alex nodded. ‘Oh. Yes. Right. Of course we do. Well, in that case, I’ll just wait outside until Anya has-’

  ‘There is no need,’ announced Anya. ‘I am going.’

  And with that she waltzed out of the room leaving James and Alex gawping after her.

  ‘You didn’t seriously think … did you?’ asked James, as he and Alex sat on the edge of the bed with a cup of coffee each, a couple of minutes later.

  ‘Well, for a couple of seconds I did,’ she giggled. ‘I mean, there you were in your boxers – nice legs by the way. And there was Anya in her bra and knickers. What was I
supposed to think?’

  James shook his head. ‘Hmm. I don’t know what she’s up to but whatever it is, I want no part in it. How we’re going to work together again after this, I have no idea.’

  ‘It’ll sort itself out. Anyway, I’m glad I’ve got you to myself. There’s something I wanted to talk to you about.’

  James’ heart sank. He had a strong notion of what that something might be.

  ‘It’s Piers.’

  He set down his cup on the bedside table and swivelled round to face her. ‘What about him?’

  She grimaced. ‘Well, the day of the barbeque he was a bit- A bit- Well, what I mean is, I know he can sometimes be full of …’

  James resisted the urge to finish the sentence for her. He could reel off a long list of things Piers was full of, the main one beginning with S and ending in T.

  ‘… himself,’ she continued. ‘But he didn’t use to be. When we started going out at uni he was a good laugh. Since he’s started training as a surgeon though, he’s gone all kind of- He was one of only six in the country chosen for his particular training course, you know.’

  ‘Good for him,’ muttered James.

  Alex’s gaze shifted to a spot on the carpet. ‘Well, anyway, he’s been offered a job. In Canada.’

  James’ spirits began to soar but, just as quickly, he reined them back. He had a horrible feeling there was more to follow.

  ‘He’s asked me to go with him.’

  No sooner had she voiced the words, than his mouth went dry and his stomach began to churn. He didn’t want her to go. He wanted her to stay. Here. Right next to him.

  She set down her cup on the floor and turned to him. ‘I don’t know what to do. What do you think I should do?’

  For one brief moment, James hoped she might be telling him this because- But he was being fanciful. She was merely seeking the advice of a friend.

  ‘Do you think I should go with him?’

  No, he wanted to scream. I don’t think you should go with him. The man’s an arrogant, pompous git and you deserve better. But he didn’t.

  ‘Well, what do you want to do?’ he asked. A pathetic retort given she obviously didn’t have a clue.

  ‘I don’t know,’ she admitted, staring at the floor again. ‘One minute I think it’s a great idea. Lots of new opportunities, chance to make a fresh start, new experiences. All that kind of stuff. But then I think-’ She broke off, meeting his gaze.

  ‘What?’ His heart began to race.

  ‘I don’t know,’ she muttered, her eyes locked on his.

  James didn’t know either. Because, before he could stop himself, he’d taken her in his arms and was kissing her.

  *

  Anya von Hutterhausen had never been more mortified in her entire life following the scene at Mandy and Eric’s wedding. And what made it worse was that she was convinced, given a few more minutes, she could have seduced James and secured the final piece of her plan. But then that blonde girl had appeared, ruining yet another perfect opportunity. If she could get her hands on that girl, she’d- But there was no point trotting down that track. It would only raise her blood pressure and waste her – very precious - time. Now though, she was at a complete loss as to how to move forward.

  *

  Matt’s job hunting was not going well. Or, to be more precise, it was going nowhere at all. After phoning three contacts in rival firms he’d admitted defeat. All anyone wanted to do was wheedle gossip from him about Francesca and that prat of a footballer. Everyone was apparently talking about them. Particularly since Hello! had wasted no time featuring a twelve-page spread of “the glowing couple” draped around various rooms in Antonio’s Florida villa, wearing flouncy clothes, too much make-up and blingy jewellery. And talking of jewellery, she’d obviously decided to keep her rock of an engagement ring, thereby robbing him of the opportunity to realise back any part of the three grand it had cost him.

  Meanwhile, he continued to be skint. And the chances of him getting another job were non-existent. He needed cash - desperately. But where from?

  His mother rang.

  ‘Just to let you know that your father and I are going to spend a few days at Aunt Milly’s cottage, darling.’

  A light-bulb ignited in Matt’s head.

  Great Aunt Milly.

  Or, more to the point, Great Aunt Milly’s will. And her one million pound share portfolio.

  A swarm of ideas began swirling around his head.

  *

  The morning after Mandy and Eric’s wedding, James woke up feeling dreadful. In fact, to say he “woke up” was something of a misnomer. Other than the odd ten minutes here and there, he hadn’t slept at all, his mind abuzz with the events of the day – particularly the one involving an underwear-clad Anya. He swatted the images away. He didn’t want to think about Anya. Ever again, if he could help it.

  Of much more concern was what had happened with Alex. Not that anything had happened. Other than the kiss. A long and passionate kiss. His pulse raced just thinking about it. And he suspected that, had it not been for a delivery of towels by a member of the housekeeping team, there would likely have been much more for him to fret over. With the benefit of hindsight though, the interruption had been timely. It had jolted them back to their senses, James muttering something about taking a shower, Alex something about seeing him downstairs later. After she’d scuttled off, he’d stood under the shower for thirty minutes. Along with the piping-hot water pummelling his skin, had been a million shards of guilt. He’d closed his eyes, attempting to conjure up an image of Olivia. But it was Alex’s face that persistently appeared.

  He’d seen little of her during the remainder of the evening. By the time he’d arrived downstairs, the ceilidh had started and she’d resumed her photographer duties. After an hour he’d sneaked away, feeling slightly guilty at not having said goodbye to Mandy and Eric. He hadn’t wanted to spoil their fun. What he had spoiled though, was his chance of friendship with Alex. He shouldn’t have kissed her; shouldn’t have taken advantage of her vulnerability. Indeed, rather than helping her make a decision about Piers and Canada, his drunken actions had probably confused her even more. Which wasn’t fair. He obviously hadn’t been himself. Because when he was himself, he constantly thought about Olivia, and she hadn’t once entered his head when he’d been snogging the face off Alex.

  *

  Anya pressed the End Call button on her mobile and promptly sat down. She couldn’t believe it. Concerned she hadn’t been to the gym for a while, Jakov had called to check on her - and to ask her out for a drink. He’d never called before. Nor had he ever suggested meeting outside their designated times. The invitation had caught her completely off-guard. She’d babbled some nonsense about having to check her diary. He said he’d call back later. But what should she say? Did she want to meet him or not? Never before had Anya von Hutterhausen been in such a quandary, and never before had she been so completely unsure of herself.

  *

  James made sure he knew exactly what he was going to say, and in what order he was going to say it, before making his way to Alex’s cottage.

  He rapped on the door.

  She opened it.

  He tried not to notice how edible she looked in a yellow pleated skirt and white blouse. She beamed at him. A thousand butterflies began fluttering in the pit of his stomach.

  ‘Hi,’ she said. ‘This is a nice surprise. And great timing. I’m editing the wedding pictures on the computer. There’s a great one of Mandy on the tractor. And another with Eric-’

  She broke off, obviously noting his serious expression. ‘Is everything all right?’

  James shook his head. ‘Not really,’ he mumbled, praying his nerve wouldn’t desert him. ‘Could I have a word?’

  ‘That sounds ominous. You’d better come in. I’m working in the kitchen.’

  He marched through and sat down at the pink glossy table. The gentle hum of James Blunt floated out from the CD player, while a f
antastic picture of Mandy in her wedding dress and wellies sitting atop a tractor, beamed at him from the laptop. For all its creativity he ignored it. He mustn’t allow himself to be distracted - by photos or anything else, not least of all Alex’s legs, browner than ever against her yellow skirt.

  She sat down opposite him.

  He looked at her.

  She looked at him.

  He cleared his throat. ‘Look, Alex-’

  She raised her eyebrows.

  His resolve began to melt. No. It couldn’t. He had to tell her what he’d come here to say. It was only fair.

  ‘I just wanted to say that, um, I really don’t think you should let what happened between us at the wedding sway your decision about Canada.’

  She furrowed her brow.

  ‘After all …’ he continued, tearing his gaze from her and focussing on the golden palm tree in the corner. ‘… it’s such a great opportunity and I wouldn’t like to think that I was responsible for you giving it up.’

  He stopped, desperate for her to say something. She didn’t.

  He cleared his throat again. ‘What I’m trying to say is that it’s too good an opportunity to pass up. You can make a fresh start with Piers. And there’ll be loads more chances for you to build your business over there.’

  Her sapphire eyes bored into him.

  He shifted awkwardly in his seat. ‘The whole thing was a stupid mistake on my part. I shouldn’t have taken advantage of you like that, especially now you’re back with Piers. And it’s not as if I’m looking for a relationship myself. I’m not. In fact, I was thinking I might go abroad for a while. Things are a bit awkward with Anya after … well … you know … so I thought I might get away and-’

  He stopped. He was rambling. Stealing a look at her, his gaze snagged on hers causing his breath to shorten and his heart to race. Then Alex sucked in a deep breath.