The Passenger

by Jacqueline Druga

  Everyone attributed it to his mother triggering his memory. But it wasn’t. It was his father.

  Something about the look he gave Jonas from across the stage, just before the song started. It caused some voice inside his head to remember his name and recognize Grant as his father.

  It was then he turned around, finding Maw-Maw to focus on and he saw his mother.

  He had to close his eyes to play, to sing the song, to believe the words, because the entire time he sang, the memories kept coming.

  He raced from that stage wanting only to hug her. Somewhere though in their emotional reunion, he passed out.

  Waking up in the emergency room.

  The feeling was strange, his time in Williams Peak, suddenly knowing how it felt to not remember who he was.

  It wasn’t just relief that hit Jonas, worry, fear and regret came along for the ride.

  How would they look at him? Jonas wasn’t just seeing Haley, Pastor Rick, Maw-Maw and Joe the way he did, as Chip anymore. A blank page was filled in.

  They weren’t strangers to him, as he expected would happen when the memory returned. They were family, and just like he felt with his mom and dad, he wondered if he was worthy enough to be around them.

  After being so good for so long, sitting there on that hospital examining table, alone in the room, Jonas felt like a fraud.

  Doc Jenner slid open the glass door and stepped inside. “Good news, everything looks good.”

  “I’m fine, I don’t understand why you had to run all those tests.”

  “One … you passed out. You had trauma and I wanted to make sure everything was working as it should. Getting your memory back affects you physically.”

  “I’m fine.”

  “I know. Do you feel like you’re still missing anything?” Doc Jenner asked.

  “The accident. I mean, I remember my drummer handing me my phone because it fell on the floor. My mom …” He forcefully exhaled. “My mom had texted, and I blew them off.”

  “Do you remember the accident?”

  “Same as before, the guy in the car. I can see him clearer now though. I remember him being in the car when I got in. Then after the windshield thing … nothing. Nothing until Ann the nurse was with me the next morning.”

  “Well, unfortunately, a lot of that had to do with the drug in your system. That causes black outs.”

  Jonas nodded.

  “I’ll get you all signed out. You have people waiting in the waiting room to make sure you’re alright,” Doc Jenner said. “Why don’t you go see them?”

  Jonas didn’t reply.

  “Are you all right?”

  “Yeah. Just … it feels weird now, that’s all.” Jonas slid from the table and walked to the door. “Thank you.”

  “You’re welcome,” Doc Jenner replied. “And I’m glad your memory is back.”

  It wasn’t that long of a wait, an hour or so, Grant lost track of time. He was nervous about being at the hospital, seeing Jonas all over.

  Doc Jenner told them he believed Jonas was fine and was waiting on the results. That was the last Grant heard. He sat in the waiting room with Cate, Marge, Joe and Haley. They were the only ones there, the emergency room wasn’t busy at all.

  He wondered how much Jonas remembered. Everything? Only a little?

  Two cups of coffee later, Jonas came from the back through the doors.

  Everyone stood.

  “Are you all right?” Cate rushed to him.

  “Yeah, I think I need to take a walk.”

  “Maybe, it’s not a good idea,” Cate said. “One of us could go with you …”

  “I’m fine.”

  “Or …”

  “Mom!” Jonas snapped. “I’m fine.”

  It was a bolt of shock that went through Grant when he heard the tone to Jonas’ voice. “We’re just worried, Jonas.”

  “Worried enough to lie to me?” he asked. “You spent all that time with me. Hanging around and not once did you tell me who you are. How could you do that to me? Huh? Did you hate me that much, hate who I was, that you just wanted to pretend I was someone brand new? Or better yet, maybe you wanted me never to remember?”

  “Don’t …” Marge softly scolded. “Don’t blame him. Do not put the blame on them. You want to blame someone. Blame me. I believed you didn’t want to know until you remembered. Now you do. Nobody wanted to lie to you. I was just going by what you said.”

  “You’re right, I did say that. I ... have to take a walk.” Shaking his head, Jonas walked out of the emergency room in a storming manner.

  “And just like that.” Cate said softly. “The old Jonas comes back.”

  “Please don’t say that,” Haley said. “Please believe in him.” She turned and hurried to catch up to Jonas.

  Cate closed her eyes and sat back down. “That … that was wrong of me to say.”

  Marge sat next to her. “I know it’s hard. But I truly think he’s just confused. Imagine … this morning he woke up one person and in the middle of service he remembers not only who he was, but a person he thinks is completely opposite of the Chip that was working at the church.”

  “Isn’t he?” Cate asked.

  “No.” Marge shook her head. “He’s not a different person. He just got a chance to bring a part of him out that he buried. Have faith.” Marge squeezed her hand. “I do.”

  ◆◆◆

  Haley found him.

  He was standing outside on the sidewalk into front of Jumping Jupiter Bar and Grill.

  Just standing there. She didn’t know if he was staring inside or debating on whether to go in.

  After a few moments of debate on whether to approach him, Haley darted across the street and stood next to him. “Boy, for someone who just got out of the hospital, you run fast.”

  He glanced at her through the reflection in the glass. “It’s all that softball you had me doing.”

  Haley softly chuckled, then drew seriously. “Are you all right?”

  “Yeah. Just thinking. Looking.”

  “Inside? It’s not that great. Are you mad at me?”

  “You? No. Never.”

  Haley smiled. “Thank you.”

  “You know this is my social media name?”

  “Jumping Jupiter?”

  Jonas chuckled. “Just Jupiter. My way of hiding from my family. They couldn’t find out. Sound familiar?”

  “But they did find you here in Williams Peak, and I’m willing to bet they found you on social media, too. You just didn’t know it.”

  “I didn’t mean to be so hard on them back there. Like I always do, I blamed them.”

  “It’s not okay, I’m not going to tell you it was.”

  “Thank you.”

  “But they’re you’re parents. They love you. They’ll understand and forgive you.”

  “How many times, Haley?” he asked. “How many times do I hurt them? Lash out? Before they give up on me.”

  “They’ll never give up on you, even when you give up on yourself. Can I ask why you’re staring into Jupiter’s? Are you thinking about the loaded fry special?”

  “No, but it does sound good with a milkshake.” He glanced over to her with a smile. “This is not egotistical. I’m looking at my reflection. Ironically through a window of a bar. Which pretty much defined my lifestyle before the accident. Metaphorically speaking, I’m looking inside myself actually. I look at this reflection. I like who I see, I just don’t like who I am or was.”

  “The nice thing about being one way and not liking it, is you can change it,” Haley said.

  “Did I change, or did I just become who everyone wanted me to be? I feel like this huge phony.”

  “You’re not. Trust me. Can I be honest with you?

  “When aren’t you?” Jonas asked.

  “True. Maybe deep down, Chip is who you wanted to be.”

  Jonas grumbled half-jokingly. “Oh, I don’t know about that. I doubt it. I wanted to be a rock star.”


  “In a way you are. In Williams Peak.”

  “Haley.” He faced her. “I used to ridicule my mother for going to church. For believing in God. I’d argue with her about Him. I’d tell her I didn’t believe.”

  “Maybe you really did and just thought you were too cool to admit it.”

  Jonas shook his head. “No. No, I didn’t believe at all.”

  “Do you now?”

  Jonas softly laughed. “Yeah. I mean how can I deny His existence? Since the accident there’s no denying. I’m here, I’m alive, I shouldn’t be. Especially when things about the accident and the car are just unanswered.”

  “The passenger?”

  Jonas nodded. “Yes. There’s no explanation for him. No answers other than it was divine intervention.”

  “Would Jonas, a month ago be saying this?” Haley asked.

  “No. Absolutely not. No.”

  “Then how are you a fraud, how can you even ask if you became who everyone wanted you to be? I know that’s on your mind. I wish my words could convince you of what I believe.”

  “Which is?” Jonas asked.

  “I believe God gave you a gift of not knowing who you were in your past so you could find who you need to be in the future. I think if you take some time and do some soul searching …” she tilted her head. “Pray on it? Find your answers.”

  “Not that I don’t think prayer isn’t powerful, but you’re right. I need answers about who I was and about that night, the accident ... the passenger. I think I know where to start.”

  Haley looked at Jonas curiously.

  ◆◆◆

  The two-tone musical alert went off when the door opened, and Russ looked over because he knew someone entered.

  He saw Jonas walking in.

  “Word on the street has it that someone got their memory back,” Russ said.

  “Word on the street would be correct.”

  “I’m happy for you.”

  “Thanks.”

  “What can I help you with?” Russ asked, motioning his hand to the chair at his desk.

  “Is there anything I can help you with?” Jonas questioned as he took a seat.

  “Well, that’s nice of you.” Russ sat down. “But I don’t think you know as much as I do.”

  Jonas laughed. “You don’t say.”

  “I do say.”

  “Chief … I know you wanted to find out who I was. I know that. I appreciate you not telling me. I don’t think I could have handled knowing how I was.”

  “Was is the key word.” Russ winked. “I like that. Little truth here …” he leaned back in the chair. “Had I run your prints, had I read your rap sheet, I probably wouldn’t have told you. I would have called your parents. I like your dad.”

  “I do, too.” Jonas looked down to his folded hands.

  “Do you remember anything about that night?”

  Jonas shook his head. “Not much. I remember the guy in my car a lot clearer now.”

  “What did he look like?”

  “Thin. Dark hair. It was long, like one length, came to here.” Jonas touched below his own shoulder. “Beard, but it wasn’t grown too much or shaped. Does that make sense?’

  “It does.”

  “Have you found him?’

  Russ shook his head. “Nope. Nothing on him at all.”

  “Chief, I know you have been working hard on my case, Marge said you were borderline obsessive.”

  “I was. Am.”

  “Can I ask why?”

  “You can.” Russ nodded. “And I’ll be honest with you. When I met you, I knew there was trouble around you. Your coloring, your weight, that anger. I wanted to help you. I thought at first if I could do that, I could make up for what I didn’t do for Marge and Joe’s kid. I didn’t look hard enough. I didn’t put forth the effort I should have because I thought he’d show up after another binge. But he didn’t. I have to live with that. So, in some way, if I could help you, it would be my atonement. Then, it turned into more because I really saw a good kid in you.”

  “Thank you. Did you learn anything? Anything I don’t know?”

  “A lot. Not sure if you know it or now. I have dug deep. I can tell you that much.”

  “Please,” Jonas said.

  “That night of the accident, you got into an argument with a guy named Lance over his girlfriend. According to witnesses, you egged him on. It got physical, some shoving, he decked you, fight broke up. He tried to apologize but you had him kicked out. After your last set his buddy Doug gave you a bygone be bygones drink.”

  “It was spiked.”

  Russ nodded. “Yep. He didn’t know you weren’t driving with your friends. State Police have been waiting for you to get your memory back to see if you want to press charges. They’ve charged him anyhow, but if you jump on it, they’re gonna up the charge to attempted murder.”

  Jonas slumped back. “What is he saying about it? This Doug.”

  “Oh, he’s tore up. Wracked with guilt. I thought he was the passenger at first. Or followed you, saw the accident and pulled you out. But he wasn’t. I couldn’t find anything about the passenger. Not saying I didn’t try.”

  “I appreciate it.”

  “You had all your gear in that car. The car caught fire. But you had said something to me …” Russ reached down, grabbed his travel mug and set it on the desk.

  Jonas looked at it. “The design. I told you it looked familiar.”

  “Because of your guitar.”

  Jonas nodded. ‘Yes. The same design.”

  “Everyone thought I was nuts. But I saw it at Guitar World in Fremont. An eighteen year old kid named Kevin McConnel hocked it for two-hundred and twenty-five bucks.”

  “It’s worth way more than that, monetarily and to me.”

  “Yes, it is. Kevin swore he found it on the highway. Probably thrown from the car. That’s what he said.”

  “You don’t believe him.”

  Russ lifted his hands. “Nothing I can do. I thought whoever pawned your guitar was your passenger. I thought maybe this passenger survived the crash, took off with your guitar. But I was wrong. I’m probably out of practice because to be honest, this is the first case in a while I really had to solve.”

  “I appreciate it. You said my guitar was at Guitar World?”

  “It was.”

  “Was? So, it’s been sold?”

  “Yep.” Russ stood up. “Can you excuse me for a second?” He walked over to the closet near his desk and opened it. He pulled out a guitar case. “I know how much finding out who the passenger was means to you. Answers, I can’t give you. But I can give you this.” He put the case on a table. “I knew you’d get your memory back.”

  Almost awestruck, Jonas walked to the table. He slowly undid the latches and lifted the lid to the case. When his eyes cast upon it, an ache of a moan flowed from him. He turned his head to Russ with glossed over eyes. “You did this? You got my guitar for me? I can’t thank you enough. How much do I owe you?”

  “Don’t insult me. You owe me nothing. I got that for you. My thank you.”

  “Thank me?” Jonas asked shocked. “Why are you even thanking me?”

  “You helped me heal. After Matthew, I doubted everything I stood for. Helping you got me to believe in myself again. I didn’t think that would ever happen.”

  “I don’t deserve this.”

  “Yes, you do. Now take that guitar. Believe in yourself,” Russ said. “Because I believe in you.”

  ◆◆◆

  It was one of those days, they happened every so often, when Pastor Rick would think he wanted to get a dog.

  He took a walk, thinking about how nice of a summer evening it was, and if he had a dog, he wouldn’t be so bored on a walk.

  It was on his way back to the house that he heard it. A sound of guitar playing coming from the church.

  He thought he had locked up, maybe he was wrong. Then again, the guitar playing sounded familiar and it could only be one person. />
  Pastor Rick walked into the church through the side door and onto the stage, where he saw Jonas sitting in the first row. He had an electric guitar on his lap. A cord ran from the guitar to an amp.

  It looked like a new guitar. It was semi dark in the church, but he swore the guitar looked like the Chief’s travel mug.

  Jonas stopped playing when he saw the pastor.

  “Don’t stop because of me,” Pastor Rick said.

  “It’s okay.”

  “That sounded beautiful.”

  “I’m writing a song. Thought I’d process things by putting it to music. My journey and stuff.”

  “Well, that might be an opus.”

  Jonas laughed.

  “I’m very happy you got your memory back.”

  “Thank you. And thank you so much for all you’ve done.”

  “I have to tell you, I was a little concerned. Haley told me you were upset.”

  “I was. I was mad. I wasn’t nice.”

  “Haley told me that, too,”

  “Yep, and she told me I needed to find answers. I went to the Chief. He gave me some answers.”

  “Enough to help?” Pastor Rick asked.

  “Enough to start.”

  “What’s troubling you?” Pastor Rick looked up and smiled. “Wait. That was so pastor like of me to ask that.”

  Jonas smiled. “I’m sitting here and holding my guitar. It feels good, right. But playing in here also feels right. In my mind those two things should not feel right together.”

  “What about in your heart?”

  “My heart says, I know who I am, it’s time to get back to that life. To that crappy apartment on seventh, cutting grass and playing music.”

  “Hmm. Sounds kind of like what you do now. Although, I think your room at the house is nice.”

  “It is.”

  “Seems to me your day to day didn’t change all that much, rather your outlook.”

  “I had amnesia,” Jonas said.

  “You did.”

  “I have to go back. Isn’t that the right thing to do?”

  “The correct thing is what feels accurate to you. I can imagine a part of you thinks you need to pack up and head back to your old life because you know who you are now.”