by Nina Singh
Teddy threw his head back and laughed out loud. “Way too late for coffee, son. But come on by my table later. I have some projects we should discuss.”
With that, Teddy sauntered away.
“Let’s forget that even happened and enjoy the rest of the night, shall we?” Jordan suggested as they sat back down.
Right. As if she could do that. As if she could stop wondering about who this woman Teddy spoke of could be. And what had she been unreasonable about?
She couldn’t even presume to make an educated guess. It’s not like Jordan had shared enough about himself to even make speculation possible. Jess thought back to the picture she’d found in his desk earlier today. He certainly kept things close to his chest. When she really thought about it, how well did she really know Jordan? He hadn’t told her much about himself.
He hadn’t confided in her at all beyond the barest of facts.
* * *
He didn’t want the evening to end just yet.
Jordan unbuttoned his collar as they drove back to the penthouse and glanced over to Jess in the seat next to him. Sweet heavens, she was beautiful. He couldn’t deny he enjoyed spending time with her. Aside from the uncomfortable interlude with Teddy, he’d had a really fun evening. When was the last time he’d thought that about a charity auction? He couldn’t think of a single one.
He wasn’t ready to bid her good-night.
He helped her out of the car once they arrived. “What would you say to getting some air?”
She took in the scene around them. “That sounds lovely. Though it’s a little late for a walk, isn’t it?”
He winked at her. “It’s never too late to stroll around New York. Surely, you’ve heard it’s the city that never sleeps.”
She laughed. “Of course.”
“But that’s not what I had in mind. Follow me.”
He led her to the front doors of his building and through the lobby, past the main elevators.
“Where are we going?” Jess asked, glancing back at the elevator panel behind them.
“Trust me.”
He took her to the back of the building, past the service entrance and loading dock. The elevator shaft back here was much narrower. Using his key card, he summoned the car to the first floor.
“Curious about where I’m taking you?” he asked after they’d passed several floors.
“I’m guessing it’s an alternate route to your penthouse? I can’t imagine why, though.”
“Hmmm. Good guess. But it’s wrong.”
He showed her a few moments later when they got off on the top floor then traveled up a flight of stairs to the metal door that led outside, a door that only a handful of people had access to and the means to unlock.
“Oh, my God,” Jess shrieked as they stepped out onto the roof of the tall high-rise. “This is amazing.” The high wind served to muffle her words somewhat but her meaning was clear.
Jordan took her by the hand and led her to a small enclosed area that housed some of the backup generators. The walls were just tall enough to block out some of the wind.
She turned to stare out into the horizon, her breath deep and heavy with excitement. Jordan didn’t take time to think about what he was doing. He put his hands on her hips and pulled her to lean back against him, her back up against his chest. The scent of her teased his senses. A subtle floral scent with a hint of lavender.
They stood that way for several moments, just silently admiring the view.
“What do you think?” he finally asked her.
“I’m in awe.”
Her reaction sent a ripple of pleasure through him. He liked that she was enjoying herself so much. He’d never brought a woman up here before. It hadn’t even occurred to him to do so. But he’d decided he would bring Jess when he’d seen her watching the city out of the limo windows.
Several more moments went by in silence. Finally, Jess spoke again on a soft sigh. “I’ve been trying so hard not to ask.”
He could guess what she meant. She was thinking of Teddy and the references the man had made. He rested his chin on her shoulder. “The answer isn’t terribly complicated. I was in the middle of a relationship when my father became ill. Not a terribly serious one, but a relationship nonetheless.”
“What happened?”
“I ended up as sole guardian of a six-year-old girl. The woman I was with wasn’t terribly comfortable with the new status quo. She wasn’t exactly secretive about it.”
She shifted ever so slightly to look at him over her shoulder. Their faces were a hairsbreadth apart. “What did she want you to do?”
“Long story short, she gave me an ultimatum.”
“I see.”
“You must also see the choice I made. Not that there was any real choice. I wasn’t going to leave Sonya in the care of strangers or a twenty-four-hour nanny service. Although...” He let the sentence trail off. What was the point in getting into the rest? No good could come of it other than him venting.
“Although what?” she prompted.
“Nothing. It’s not important.”
“Jordan, please tell me what happened. Everything. I need to know all about Sonya if I’m going to be working with her one on one.”
She had a point there.
And it was so easy to talk to her, to know that she was listening and honestly cared. He’d had no one to confide in or vent to when Sonya had first arrived in his home. He’d felt utterly alone—his father and mother both gone, his bachelor friends with no idea how to relate, and the woman he’d been with less than interested. Now here was Jess asking him to unburden some of himself.
“I’m not sure I’d know where to start,” he admitted.
“There’s an old saying—the best place to start is at the beginning,” she replied. “You mentioned you wanted Sonya to grow up in a smaller, less hectic setting. Because of her accident.”
A brick suddenly lodged itself in Jordan’s throat. He had to push past it in order to continue. He wanted to tell Jess all of it, needed to confide in her like no one else before.
“We were walking down Madison Avenue,” he began. “I wasn’t even holding her hand.” He squeezed his eyes shut as the memory of that afternoon came surging back. He’d been so distracted. So focused on his own concerns. So damn self-centered.
“You have to understand. I knew next to nothing about taking care of a child. And yes, a big part of me was more than a little resentful at being handed such a daunting responsibility.”
“Didn’t you have a nanny service?”
“It was all so new. We hadn’t found Elise yet. I was in the process of interviewing and determining shifts.”
“What happened?”
“We’d just purchased a helium balloon for Sonya from some street vendor when my phone rang. I wouldn’t even be able to tell you now who I was speaking with. It was obviously not terribly important.”
“Oh, Jordan.”
“I didn’t even realize she’d started running toward the street. The balloon had slipped out of her hand and she’d gone chasing after it.” A deep shudder ran through his center as he spoke. “We were told things could have been so much worse. That if the cabbie hadn’t reacted as quickly as he did... The doctors actually said Sonya was lucky. She was a little banged up. But her X-rays showed nothing seriously damaged or broken.”
She didn’t interrupt. Just let him continue. “But then she started having issues hearing different sounds. Each time she watched TV, she’d insist the volume be turned up louder and louder. It was gradual at first. Then got more pronounced. After a while it started affecting her speech, as well.”
He finally looked up, expecting to see derision and scorn written all over her face. But even in the darkness, all he saw was sadness and empathy. A slight sheen of moisture glistened in her eyes.
She asked the most obvious question. “Did the accident cause her hearing loss?”
Jordan thought hard about how to answer that question. He knew what the doctors had told him. But he couldn’t bring himself to believe it. “I honestly don’t know, Jess. All I do know is that I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself. For letting that child down so badly when she needed me the most.”
Jess moved toward him, then wrapped her arms around him and simply held him tight.
Jordan couldn’t guess how long they stood there. Time seemed to stand still. The noise of the wind and the city below grew muffled and muted. He didn’t want any of it to end, just wanted to seek solace in the comfort of her embrace.
Finally, he felt her breathe out a deep sigh before she spoke his name. “Jordan?”
“Yes?”
“You told me that you’d leave it to me. Whether we would kiss or when.”
His heart started to pound in his chest at where her words might be leading. “Yes?”
“And I’ve decided.”
“You have?”
She nodded slowly. “Yes. I’d like for you to kiss me now. I’d like that very much.”
Jordan didn’t need to be asked twice. Taking her about the waist, he pulled her up against his length. “A deal is a deal.”
Then he crushed his lips to hers. And he was lost. Lost in the feel of her. Lost in the taste of her. Her soft moan of pleasure nearly had him undone. But he couldn’t break away, was convinced his soul would shatter if he did.
He hadn’t expected this, hadn’t meant for it to happen. Though he was helpless against it now. In this moment she was air and light. And right now she was his. Her hands traveled up to his shoulders and held on tight. In response, Jordan deepened the kiss even farther. He couldn’t get enough of her and perhaps he never would.
Jess was the one to finally pull away and he had to clench his hands by his sides to keep from reaching for her and pulling her back. Every last bit of this had to be her decision. Or he’d never forgive himself.
So her words when she spoke sent a spear of thrill right through his very core.
“Jordan, I’d very much like you to take me downstairs to your apartment now.”
* * *
Jess could hardly think. The next few moments were a desire-filled haze as Jordan led her back to his penthouse. Then he started kissing her again as soon as the door shut behind them.
A wealth of emotion bubbled in her center at what he’d just confided. Emotion so overwhelming that she thought she might burst with it. But she held herself steady for Jordan’s sake. He needed her strength right now. And her understanding. She wasn’t going to bother with platitudes about how he shouldn’t blame himself. Nor would she bother to point out that the accident had occurred when he was still reeling from the loss of his father and that he could be forgiven for being distracted at such a time.
Didn’t he see just how overwhelmingly his life had been turned upside down through no fault of his own?
There was no use in trying to point it out to him. Not now. He wasn’t ready or willing to hear any of it, she knew. Jordan would have to work his way to those conclusions on his own and in his own time. She would help in any way she could as he struggled with the reality of what he’d just confided. No matter how long it took.
But there was tonight. She didn’t have much to give, but tonight she could offer him some comfort. Tonight she could be the woman Jordan wanted, not the woman that so many of those in her life had found so lacking. Tonight she was enough. For one night she wouldn’t be the little girl who was abandoned by a mother who didn’t want to change her lifestyle for her daughter. Nor would she be the teenager who’d been sent away by a father who’d never wanted her. And she would not be the college grad who’d had to return a ring to her fiancé because he’d suddenly found her to be far less than what he wanted in life. Or a visiting tourist’s summer fling who didn’t even warrant a simple goodbye.
Tonight would be different. Tonight would be about only the two of them.
“Jess.” He whispered her name against her lips, his voice full of longing. Longing for her. “Tell me this is what you want.”
She gripped his shoulders, tried to get her brain to function well enough to form a coherent answer. Somehow, she managed. “Yes. More than anything. More than I can say.”
The last few words barely left her mouth and she felt herself being lifted off the ground. Jordan carried her through the hallway and to his bedroom. He set her down gently near his bed, all the while consuming her in another soul-shattering kiss.
She’d wanted this from the moment she’d first laid eyes on him. She’d wanted his arms around her, his lips tight against hers. But the reality was so much more than she’d imagined. The taste of him flooded her senses. And all she could think was that it wasn’t enough.
She could only cry out his name. He responded by moving impatient hands along the sides of her body, up higher to her shoulders.
For some reason he tore his lips from hers and she thought the loss would break her.
“Jess? Are you sure, sweetheart?” he asked again, his voice full of longing. He was being touchingly careful with her, making sure to ask yet again if this was what she wanted.
Her answer was to slowly slide the straps of her dress off her shoulders and let it slip off her onto the ground.
Jordan sucked in his breath. Wrapping her arms around his neck, she pulled him up against her. Her need for him had reached a near maddening apex. “Now, Jordan. Please.”
He obliged at once.
Jess turned herself over to him completely, let the pleasure of his touch and kiss burn through her from inside and out. The world ceased to turn. Only the two of them existed. All that mattered was the here and now.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
WHEN JESS WALKED into the kitchen the next morning, the world was different. Everything had changed. She’d spent the night in Jordan Paydan’s bed. No matter what happened from here on out, the reality of that was the simple truth. More important, she was beginning to see through the surface to the man he truly was.
Jordan stood in front of the kitchen counter by the coffeepot as if willing it to brew faster.
He finally noticed her presence behind him. “Good morning.”
“Morning,” she responded with a shy smile. She didn’t have much experience with morning-afters. In fact, aside from Gary and that one summer, she didn’t have much experience in general.
“Coffee should be ready in a few minutes,” he informed her then turned back to the pot.
Jess grappled for something appropriate to say. It wasn’t easy. And she blundered it royally. “I wanted to thank you for last night,” she began, before it occurred to her how the statement might be misconstrued. She quickly explained. “I mean for taking me to the roof, that is. Not for—you know.”
Oh, dear. That didn’t sound much better. She was really messing this up.
Jordan simply chuckled but his laugh held no real amusement. The lines of his face were set tight, his jaw clenched.
Taking a deep breath, she tried again. “I won’t soon forget how utterly magical the city looks from up that high. I wanted you to know that.”
He came over to her and rubbed a finger softly down her cheek. She had to suppress a shudder at his touch. Memories of the previous night flooded her mind before she could do anything to stop it.
“You’re welcome, Jess. Maybe I can take you up there again sometime.”
Wow. So that was how they were going to play this next round.
He wasn’t even sure if he would ever bring her back here, to his original home. Would she ever get another opportunity to travel back to New York with him? What did it mean for her heart that she wasn’t sure of the answer? So many questions that had to be answered in this new reality. Well, s
he was a big girl. One who would have to accept fully the consequences of the decisions she’d made last night.
“Do you have access to the roof because you own the penthouse?” she asked by way of conversation.
Jordan cleared his throat. “Not quite.”
Jess raised her eyebrows in question.
Jordan shrugged in a distracted, casual gesture that belied his next words. “I have access because I own the whole building. Along with several other buildings like it throughout Manhattan and the Upper East Side.”
Jess felt her jaw drop. “You own the entire building? And other similar ones?”
“That’s right. My family’s main source of income is prime New York real estate.” His gaze searched her face. “I guess that never came up.”
No. It certainly had not. She’d known Jordan was well-off. That fact was obvious to the naked eye. But apparently, he was more than just wealthy. Turned out he was a billionaire.
“No. It certainly didn’t come up.” She would have remembered.
He studied her reaction before turning away to the coffeepot. It was hard not to notice that he didn’t offer her a cup this time, unlike yesterday.
“Help yourself to some coffee,” he told her instead.
Jess wanted to hit the reset button on this whole morning. Instead of waking to find herself alone, she wanted to find a way to ensure he was there when she opened her eyes. Maybe Jess might have then found a way to entice him into staying under the covers a little longer.
Maybe they could have somehow avoided this whole awkward and strange conversation about his family finances.
She was about to admit to all that when his next words stopped her.
“I have the car coming for you in about half an hour,” he told her. “I figured you’re probably ready to be back home.”
She was? And when exactly had he decided that for her? Without so much as speaking to her about it.
“What about you?” she asked.
“I’ve decided to stay back another day. Sonya’s well taken care of with Elise. They usually just spend Sundays by the pool or reading. And there are some work issues that could use more of my attention before I leave the city.”