Separation Anxiety

by Lisa Suzanne

  “How is it,” he asked, “that you manage to look so goddamn beautiful in the morning?”

  Those flutters that I was feeling back on that night at happy hour before I’d told him about Richard and me? They were back in full force.

  “How is it,” I asked back, turning in his arms to face him, “that you know the exact right words to say in every situation?”

  He grinned down at me. “It’s my specialty.”

  “You are quite the expert,” I said, and he pressed his lips to mine.

  “Did you have a bad dream last night?” he asked, pulling away.

  “No,” I said. “Why?”

  “I remember you groaning and then waking up out of breath.”

  I blushed. I didn’t want to because I knew it completely gave me away, but it was one of those damn things I couldn’t control.

  “Wait just one hot second,” he said, a wide smile slowly forming on his very kissable lips. “Was it a sex dream?”

  I averted my eyes as I felt the blush spread from my cheeks down my neck. Suddenly I was quite warm. “Maybe,” I admitted, throwing the blankets off of me as I tried to get some cool air.

  “So, Miss Freemont,” he said. “You catch me indecent as I’m changing my clothes and then you have a dirty dream? Was it about me?”

  The blush moved from red into purple territory, and I felt a buzz in my head. I didn’t say anything.

  “No denial. I guess I’ll have to assume that it was, in fact, about me.”

  “I plead the fifth,” I said, moving to get up and get away from this mortifying conversation.

  He grabbed my arms and pulled me back. “I don’t think so, V. You’re not hiding from me.”

  I rolled my eyes uncomfortably. “Fine. It was about you.”

  He beamed in victory. “I kind of figured.”

  “Oh? Why’s that, Mr. Arrogant?”

  “Because you screamed out my name.”

  Oh. My. God.

  I buried my face in his chest so he couldn’t see the ridiculous shade of red I had certainly become, and he gently stroked my back and kissed the top of my head.

  “V, I can’t think of anything more flattering. Don’t be embarrassed about it. I’ve had dreams about you, too.”

  “You have?” I asked, shifting to peek up at him.

  He nodded. “Fuck yes, I have. Really, really dirty ones.”

  I grinned. “Tell me about them.”

  “Oh no. If you’re pleading the fifth, so am I.”

  “Then show me,” I said. I wasn’t sure where that sudden bold statement came from, but I was glad I said it.

  “I plan on it,” he whispered, his gaze smoldering down into me.

  I gazed back for one hot moment. “I’m sorry we have to wait,” I said.

  “Why?”

  “Why am I sorry?”

  He nodded.

  “Because I think we both know we want it.”

  “True. It’ll happen,” he said confidently.

  “I just hate the waiting game.”

  “Me, too. But we’ll get there, V.”

  “I know. But it’s my fault that we have to wait.”

  “It’s not your fault. We’ve both got our reasons.”

  He was right. I had my ingrained reasons, and he’d told me he didn’t have sex with married women.

  “We’re building anticipation, and when our time comes, it’ll make it that much better,” he said.

  I felt a surge of love course through me for him. I kissed his chest just over his heart, and I felt him tighten his arms around me.

  “I can’t wait,” I whispered.

  “Neither can I,” he murmured back, and then his fingertips found my chin and I scooted up in his arms. His mouth covered mine and I knew that the wait would be well worth it.

  He used the restroom first while I got up and started gathering clothes to take a shower (not forgetting my panties this time). A quick check of the clock on my cell phone told me that we’d slept in; it was almost 10:30, and I felt rude as a guest to sleep so late. Jesse assured me that it was fine, though, and then I set to looking through my bag for my cell phone charger. My battery was already down to twenty-four percent, and in that haze of lust produced by naked Jesse, I completely forgot to charge it the night before. I went through my bag three times. I took everything out and put it all back in.

  No cell phone charger.

  Jesse had an iPhone, too, so I’d just borrow his. When the bathroom door opened for his exit, my mouth somehow failed me as the words to my question died on my lips.

  Holy fucking hell.

  Jesse was wearing a pair of shorts and nothing else. No socks on those sexy feet. No pants covering those perfect calves. No shirt concealing his broad chest or that washboard he called a stomach.

  Beads of water clung to his chest. Who knew I could be jealous of water?

  His hair was still damp from the shower, and he hadn’t put any product into it yet.

  Jesse Drake fresh from the shower was surely a sight to behold. As I stood there staring, jaw dropped open, I felt like if I died right in that moment, I would have died the happiest girl in the world just for the eye candy staring me in the face.

  He grinned over at me, clearly catching me in the act of ogling him. “Your turn,” he said.

  “Uh,” I muttered, and some other sounds incoherently fell from my lips. I forced my gaze from his body and back to my clothes, and then I turned to head to the bathroom.

  “Hey,” he said softly. I glanced up at him. “Can I watch?” he asked, and then he grinned sinfully.

  “Soon,” I said, thinking that it wouldn’t be soon enough. I smiled as I walked by him, and he grabbed me into his arms and gave me one of those Jesse specialty double kisses.

  “Have a good shower.”

  “Oh, can I borrow your cell phone charger? I can’t find mine.”

  He nodded. “I’ll find it while you shower.”

  “Thanks, Jesse,” I said.

  He sighed.

  “What?”

  “I just like hearing the way my name sounds passing through those gorgeous lips of yours,” he said.

  “I like saying it,” I said. “What’s your middle name?”

  “Ethan.”

  “Jesse Ethan Drake.”

  Jesse and Veronica Drake.

  Veronica Drake.

  Wait. No, it was Jesse Drake. I shook my head and headed to the shower, perplexed by the direction of my thoughts.

  I was still married. Certainly I wasn’t ready to jump into a second marriage before my first marriage was dissolved.

  Besides, for as much as Jesse made me feel like we had a future together, his reputation as a ladies’ man preceded him. I was afraid to get my hopes up too high only to have them shattered later, when I fell even harder for him. Because I was falling harder every second we spent together, and deep down I was terrified that this was going to end badly, that it was going to end in heartbreak for me. All I could cling to was the hope that Jesse Drake would treat me right, that he would hold onto my heart and take care of me. Allowing myself to think any other way was only going to cause pain, so I wouldn’t even imagine that situation.

  After I finished getting ready, I found Jesse waiting for me on the bed. He stood and pulled me into his arms.

  “You look beautiful, V,” he said.

  “I love it when you call me ‘V.’”

  A smile curled the corners of his lips, and I ran my fingers through his hair, still soft from lack of product. It stuck up where I touched it, and it was even silkier and softer than I’d imagined it would be. He leaned into me and buried his face in my neck, and when he held me like this, when he displayed this emotion for me, I knew it was his way of telling me that he’d fallen as hard for me as I had fallen for him.

  He groaned and tightened his arms around my waist, and a moan slipped out from my lips that I hadn’t even intended.

  “Bad news,” he said, pulling back.


  “What?”

  “I forgot my charger, too.”

  “Do your parents have iPhones?”

  He shook his head. “Fucking Androids,” he said with mock irritation. I giggled.

  “We could go buy new chargers,” I suggested.

  “Or, we could shoot off a quick text to those who might need us and give them my parents’ number for emergencies and then just, I don’t know, go off the grid for the next two weeks.”

  Going off the grid with Jesse Drake? Yes, please.

  “I love that idea,” I said. “What’s your parents’ number?”

  He pulled their contact open and rattled off some numbers, and I texted my parents and both of my brothers. Work could wait, and Quinn would understand.

  Jesse’s parents had gone to church, a place that Jesse said he used to attend up until his sister’s death, so we had the house to ourselves. Jesse made us omelets and I made some fresh coffee, and then we sat outside on the patio and ate while we watched the waves roll in and out.

  We spent the day at the beach. It was too chilly for swimming in the ocean, but the air temperature was nice, and walking on the beach was absolute heaven. Jesse wore just a pair of khaki shorts, and since I was wearing sunglasses as we strolled in and out of the surf, I took the liberty of flat out staring at his perfect torso.

  Some men with a six-pack stomach were overly bulky while others were too skinny, but everything about Jesse was, as I liked to say, absolutely perf.

  He was toned and solid and fell right in the zone of perfection.

  And that tattoo… I sighed just thinking about it. I had never been a huge tattoo aficionado like Quinn was, but something about the reason behind his work of art and the beauty of it made it extraordinarily stunning.

  Staring at Jesse Drake. This was my kind of spring break.

  We ate dinner with his parents and I fell a little more in love with them as I fell a little more in love with him. Each moment that passed brought me a moment closer to the time when we could finally be together in every way that mattered.

  Jesse’s parents both had work the next day; his mom’s spring break didn’t start until the next week, and Dr. Phil had patients lined up for the next day, so they headed to bed early.

  We sat on the patio with the three Bs: beer, Barry, and banter.

  Barry was perched on my lap, sleeping, the occasional snort escaping him as he dreamed of Milk Bones and long walks. In one hand, I held my beer on the armrest, and my other arm dangled from the side of my Adirondack chair, as did Jesse’s. His fingers found mine and tangled together. I leaned my head against the back of the chair and stared up at the night sky, listening to the romantic and tranquil waves as they rolled rhythmically in and out. Aside from the completion of my split from Richard, I couldn’t think of a single thing on earth that would make me feel more contented than I did in that moment.

  And then the very next words that fell from his lips after I’d had that thought made my already contented heart soar with love.

  “You know how I told you that I’m taking a road trip in June?”

  I turned toward him and nodded, not lifting my head from the back of the chair in complete and utter laziness.

  “Come with me.”

  I sat up in shock, apparently inconveniencing Barry, who sighed in bitter frustration the way only dogs can and jumped off my lap.

  “Come with you?” I asked.

  He nodded and sat up, mirroring me.

  “Yeah, V. Come with me. And when your divorce is finalized, wherever we are, that’ll be our night.”

  Our night.

  I liked the sound of that.

  I liked the sound of a month with Jesse. I liked the sound of traveling to Mexico and driving through California wine country with Jesse. And I especially liked the sound of celebrating my independence from Richard in a night that would be just for Jesse and me, a night that would be the start of many, many nights together.

  “Yes,” I whispered finally.

  “Yes?” he asked, and then I could see his grin in the moonlight. He stood up and pulled me up with him, and then he wrapped his arms around my waist and lifted me up, twirling the two of us around a few times. Then he pressed his lips to mine, and I knew for sure that I had found the love of my life. I knew now that Fate had indeed stepped in, and this time I wasn’t going to fuck it up. I was going to be with the man with whom I was meant to be.

  Our two weeks of spring break passed in the blink of an eye, and we were so contentedly happy being off the grid that we decided to stay through Sunday, cutting it close since we had to get back to work on Monday.

  Our days mostly consisted of lazy sleeping in, taking a walk or a run on the beach, and strolling along Santa Monica Pier. Jesse held my hand, kissed me, and loved me, even though he still wasn’t ready to say the words.

  Our nights consisted of dinner with his parents, and Jesse even set up a bonfire on the beach a few times. We sat by the fire, talking softly about our pasts and the dreams we had for the future. I never felt closer to another person than I did to Jesse, and I couldn’t get over the fact that we shared so much intimacy without having sex.

  Jesse treated me to a few date nights, and I felt more and more like he was my boyfriend. Each day that passed caused my heart to open more to him, and I knew that he felt as close to me as I felt to him based on the intimate confessions he’d made to me.

  And because of our amazing spring break together, nothing could’ve prepared me for the shit storm that faced us when we returned home.

  And I mean nothing.

  CHAPTER 14

  I had been at the beach. I’d called my parents to let them know I had forgotten my cell phone charger and gave them the Drake’s home number for emergencies.

  Jesse and I went off the grid for a few days.

  What a hell of a few days to go off the grid.

  We arrived home Sunday night, and on the surface, everything was fine. We both plugged in our phones immediately and then headed back out to the car to unload. We took our time, unpacked our luggage, and started some laundry. I felt lighthearted and happy as I watched my clothes mix with his in the washing machine. It was one of those simple, everyday chores that had suddenly become special because we were doing it together.

  I felt closer to Jesse than I ever had. I felt like a part of his family. His parents made me feel like another daughter, not in the sense that I could ever replace their Allison, but in the sense that they loved me because they saw how happy I made their son. I even sat with Judy one night and told her all about Richard. She held my hand in hers and patted my arm as I spoke. She sympathized with me and hugged me and brushed my tears away when I told her how unsupportive my own mother had been when I’d told her that I was getting divorced. She understood my situation and could clearly see that I was meant to be with her son. In fact, she’d said to me, “I’ve never seen Jesse with a woman, but I know love when I see it, and I know that my boy loves you. I don’t know if he’s told you that. He’s had a hard time getting close to people since what happened with Allie. But I see the way he looks at you, and I couldn’t be happier that he’s found someone as special as you.”

  Tears spilled from my eyes as she hugged me, and I suddenly had the inclination that someday I’d be part of her family. Someday I’d pass the sweet potatoes over the Thanksgiving turkey and someday she’d hold our child, her grandchild, in her arms.

  So everything was perfect until we arrived home. Well, really, until our phones were charged. It wasn’t until I turned on my phone that I started to freak out.

  Apparently Jesse had turned his phone on at the exact same time, because when he appeared in the doorway to the guest room that we’d been sharing since… well, since the first night he’d stayed the night with me, his face was pale.

  I had seventy-four new texts. Most were from Quinn, and after reading through the first few, I knew that I had not only missed something major, but we had a major problem.
/>
  “Are you seeing this?” Jesse whispered.

  I nodded, staring at my phone.

  I pulled open my work email, and that was when my fears were confirmed. I couldn’t log on. My account was frozen.

  I logged into my personal email account, and there it was: an email from our campus union representative.

  Veronica:

  I have tried to reach you by phone and am hoping this email will reach you. If you haven’t seen the news, you and Jesse Drake are both being put on leave during this investigation. The leave shouldn’t last more than a week, but contact the union attorney ASAP.

  Dave

  Jesse and I had both been put on administrative leave? For what?

  “Jesse, I have an email from Dave,” I said.

  “So do I.” He took a few seconds to read it.

  “What’s going on?” I asked.

  “I don’t know, but Bill texted me a link to a news report.”

  I stood close to him and we watched as his phone loaded the video.

  The news anchor from our local news started reporting the story. “Breaking news out of local high school Central Valley, where a teacher and a counselor are being accused of having an illicit affair on school grounds. CBS five takes you to the scene. Nancy?”

  The shot zoomed to a still of our school’s marquee out front and then showed a few panoramic photos of the campus.

  “Thanks, Deb. No one expected this story out of this quiet high school where the football team won the state title this past fall, but sources say that accused English teacher Veronica Thomas and long time counselor Jesse Drake have been partaking in an affair on school property during school hours.”

  Nancy cut away to a taped interview of one of our senior students on the prom committee. “Yeah, Mrs. Thomas and Mr. Drake have been working on prom together. I had no idea that this was going on, but I did notice that they were together a lot.”