Second Sight (Sojourner Series Book 3)

by Maria Rachel Hooley

  “What are you doing?”

  “Getting this straight with you.” He leans in and kisses my forehead. “Just for the record, Elizabeth Moon, I’m not going anywhere, no matter how hard it gets. You are stuck with me.”

  My shoulders soften, relaxing after a great weight has been lifted, and my breath catches while I lean into him, savoring his warmth and shelter from all the fear threatening to strangle me. My heart races, and I feel my arms wrap around him so tightly he grunts.

  “What’s this?”

  My voice fails me, and I know I don’t have an answer. All I know is that I am meant to be with him, and whenever we aren’t together, I can’t think.

  “Nothing,” I whisper and close my eyes. His arms slowly lower and wrap around me so that he can rest his chin against my head.

  “I’m not going anywhere this time. I promise.” He kisses the top of my head. “But there is somewhere we need to go.” He slowly pulls from me so our eyes can meet.

  “Where?” I ask, suddenly sensing a resurgence of tension in my body, my throat suddenly dry.

  “Evan and Celia have been staying with Jimmie and Griffin at your house, keeping them sedated. We need to get you home. The last time Jimmie regained consciousness, he went ballistic. Evan really had to use his abilities to get Jimmie to calm down. He was afraid Jimmie would hurt himself or have a heart attack.”

  I cringe, thinking this is all my fault.

  “No,” Lev argues, shaking his head. “The other angels set this in motion.”

  “I’ll never forgive myself if Jimmie doesn’t recover,” I whisper.

  Lev strokes my face. “I don’t think the damage is permanent. Once you’re there to help, I think he’ll be okay. Jimmie saw you impale yourself, and Evan just couldn’t convince him you hadn’t died. Then again, it takes awhile for the effects of what Theresa did to him to wear off. Still, I think seeing you will be the best medicine any of us could give him.”

  I fold my arms across my chest, suddenly chilled. “What about Griffin? How is he?”

  “Still out.” Lev sees my lips part in horror and speaks before I can say anything. “I know it seems bad, but like I said, sometimes it takes awhile for the effects to go away.”

  “How much time has passed since that night in the gym?” I probably should have asked that sooner, but my thoughts have been scattered, proof Lev was telling the truth.

  “Three days.”

  My knees buckle slightly in shock, and I try to fathom the passage of that kind of time. “Was I asleep that long?” I try to remember but can’t.

  Lev slips his arm around me. “Elizabeth, you almost died. For a while, I wasn’t sure I could save you. I’m not supposed to intervene once events are in motion. That doesn’t mean I can’t. But this time, it was almost beyond even my ability.” He leans low and kisses the top of my head. “And that thought haunted me. It still does.”

  As my head rests against his chest, his words rumble through me, and some part of me feels the pain I must have given him. But there was no choice. I could no more have killed Lev than he could have killed me. I just didn’t expect it to hurt the others I love.

  “Can we go?” I ask quietly, closing my eyes as I savor the feel of his arms.

  He points to the nightgown I’m wearing. “Sure. But you might want to change first.”

  Blushing, I shake my head. “I’d lose my head if it weren’t attached

  “It’s not like you haven’t had a million things to think about.” He walks to the dresser and pats the pile of clothing and a pair of sneakers next to it. “Here’re some clean clothes. I’ll get myself changed and wait for you in the living room.”

  “Thanks.” I wait until he’s gone and close the door behind him before I change, then I finger-brush my hair and braid it into one long strand that I push over my shoulder. I take one glance in the mirror by the bed and feel like crying. It’s amazing I still look like Elizabeth Moon but feel so different. I’m scared for Jimmie and Griffin. What if me coming home doesn’t fix this? What if Jimmie doesn’t snap out of it?

  When I walk down the hall and into the living room, I find Lev waiting. He’s slipped into a navy blue Henley and jeans. The dark clothes accentuate his light eyes and hair, as well as the faint glow of his wings.

  “You ready?” I ask.

  “Yes. I’ll drive.” He slips his arm around me and leads me outside where I get into his truck. Part of me still has trouble realizing Scott and Lev are the same; I think it has to do with the first rocky moments we met when he was in this form and I was angry at the world. For a few seconds we just sit awkwardly staring ahead. It’s like any time anything reminds us of whom we’ve been these past few months, we move to separate corners and the pain reasserts itself.

  “Do you think we’ll get past this?” I ask softly.

  He strokes my hand. “I’m counting on it. Now come here.” I wait until he backs out of the driveway before scooting closer and leaning on his shoulder.

  “Like this?” I ask in a breathy voice.

  “Much better.”

  Even though I’m calmer now, my heart is racing. It will probably keep racing until I see Jimmie and know for myself he’s okay.

  “Here, let’s do this.” He takes my hand and sets it on his chest just above his heart and puts his hand over it. “Can you feel it?”

  For a moment, I just sit there, trying to feel the slight pounding. Then the strong, calm beat reaches me. “Yeah, I do.”

  “Focus on it. Match your heart to that rhythm. Won’t do a bit of good to go see Jimmie if you have a heart attack, will it?”

  “I don’t guess so.” At first I feel kind of silly, holding my hand against his chest, knowing that as an angel, his heart really isn’t beating. But then again, it must mean something that he’s making it beat just to calm me, right? And it works, I realize, feeling the thumping in my chest slowing down. I close my eyes, savoring the way it feels to be close to him.

  “Much better,” he whispers, kissing the top of my head.

  We stay like that the whole drive from Knoxville back to Tellico Plains. Part of me doesn’t want to move because I’m afraid I’ll break the spell of being with him, afraid that if I move something else will break between us, and I couldn’t stand that.

  He senses my fears and smiles as we pull into the driveway. “It’s going to be okay, Elizabeth. One way or another.”

  I stare at the house, wondering what passing through that door is going to hold. My life has been changing on a dime, and I want it to stop. “What if it isn’t?”

  “It will. Just breathe and take it slow.” He pulls the keys from the ignition and nods to the door. “Evan is relieved we’re here. It’s been difficult keeping Jimmie under.”

  I get out and wait for Lev to start up the walk. By the time we reach the front door, Celia stands there—only it doesn’t look like Celia. She looks like Scott’s therapist friend.

  “Boy, am I glad to see you.” She starts to embrace me, but I duck back. For a moment I stare, trying to recognize her in that skin because she seems so foreign. She looks at Lev, and he nods.

  Before my eyes, Celia’s body shifts back to the blonde girl I knew from Hauser’s Landing. “It really is me, okay?” She offers her twinkling smile, and I fall into her arms, suddenly more glad to see her than I can say.

  The three of us walk through the house to Jimmie’s room, where Evan, in the same form as always, sits in the chair across from the bed. The curtains are drawn, shutting out most of the light, probably to help keep Jimmie unconscious. As I see him lying there, so still, I can’t tell if he’s breathing, Evan stands and wraps his arms around me.

  “Good to have you back on the right side of things.” He kisses the top of my forehead, much like Jimmie often has, and all I can do is stare at my guardian. My whole body is shaking. Still, I don’t see his chest rise.

  “He’s not breathing,” I whisper, tears pricking my eyes. “He’s not breathing!” I can feel
the hysteria tugging at me, threatening to draw me under. My knees buckle. I would have fallen if Evan had not been holding onto me.

  “Yes, Lizzie, he is.” He leads me over to a chair and presses me into it, exchanging worried glances with Lev. “You just can’t see it.”

  I keep staring at Jimmie, wishing this whole nightmare would go away. I don’t know how much more I can take. Lev kneels beside me and puts his hand atop mine.

  “I know you’re scared. You think because he’s breathing so slightly he’s in danger. Truth is, when Evan was healing him, he did that to try to keep him unconscious. He’s been fighting it the whole time. Now that you are here, Evan can stop controlling his body and allow him to wake. Just remember what he has seen, Lizzie. Jimmie isn’t going to wake up calm and placid. His mind is a mess, and he is emotionally damaged at present. Seeing you is the only thing which will ease his nightmares.”

  Evan takes a deep breath. “Are you ready, Lizzie? The minute I release my hold, he will awaken.”

  I slowly nod, thinking anything will be better than that still pose reminding me of somebody lying in a coffin. Jimmie is never this still. I feel Lev standing next to me, his body inching closer as his fingers slowly wrap around mine, squeezing. At first, I think there’ll be some kind of sign so I’ll know when Evan releases his hold, but the only way I know is that Jimmie’s breathing suddenly shifts into deep, rapid gasps like he’s been running. His eyelids begin to twitch, and his body convulses. I shudder as life seems to grip him and tear him apart.

  “Easy,” Lev whispers. “He’s just about to come out of it.”

  Then Jimmie’s eyelids jerk open wider than I’ve ever seen, revealing blood-shot eyes. He’s looking at the ceiling, but from his expression, I don’t think that’s what he’s seeing, not by a long shot. He’s making these panting sounds, and it scares me. I’ve never seen him this far out of control.

  “Elizabeth, talk to him.” Evan’s voice is low and soothing, but I also sense its inherent warning.

  I swallow hard and shift to sit on the bed beside Jimmie. Sweat beads his temples and runs down the sides of his face. His breathing is wild and labored. My dry mouth feels stuffed with all my fears and regrets, so stuffed there’s no room for words.

  “It’s all right,” Lev murmurs. “Just talk to him.”

  My hand creeps along the peaks and valleys of the bedspread until I come to Jimmie’s hand, and when I look at his fingers, I see the faint wrinkles and scars from all the hard labor his life has been. He’s done it not just to provide for himself but also to take care of me. It never occurred to me to wonder how different his life might have been had I not been thrust into it, that maybe he wouldn’t have had to work so hard. That makes me cringe, and I have to remind myself to focus.

  “Jimmie,” I say, my voice wavering.

  Immediately his eyes shoot to my face, and he gasps as tears pool in his eyes, washing the light blue and turning them a shade darker.

  “Lizzie, is that you?” he rasps. Light reflects in the tears as they trail down his face. He seems so much older and more vulnerable.

  “Yeah. It’s me.” I’m shaking so violently even my voice trembles, and before I know it, I’m crying, tears blur my vision.

  “Oh, God,” he whispers. His hand slips away from mine so he can pull me to him. I can tell he’s straining; his grip should be so much stronger than what I feel in these spasming arm muscles. As he holds me, all I can feel is the pain and breath ripping through him, and I know it’s my fault.

  No, it’s not. Lev’s voice enters my thoughts. You didn’t choose this, and neither did he.

  I can’t argue with Lev logically, but my gut tells me different. Still, there are no words between Jimmie and me, just a lot of tears and embracing. It seems like we stay that way forever as Jimmie refuses to let go. Maybe he feels if his arms aren’t holding me I will suddenly vanish and leave him in a world bereft of me. That’s how I feel about Lev. But no matter how much you love a person, you do have to let go, knowing it might cost you in the end, and knowing that being apart makes you feel weak, hurt, and halved.

  His arms finally ease their hold so I can slowly raise my head and take in the miracle of his eyes and tear-streaked face. “I thought I’d lost you, Lizzie Girl. And I couldn’t bear it.” He reaches for my hand, and I take it.

  “You couldn’t lose me if you tried,” I whisper, my throat aching from all my tears.

  He shakes his head. “I know what I saw. I stood there, watching as you plunged that dagger deep in, and there was all that light. Blinding. I tried to crawl to you, but I couldn’t get there. I lost you.” His voice is trailing off, and I see doubt creep into his eyes. I know where he’s going with this.

  “It’s okay, Jimmie. Just take a deep breath.”

  He shakes his head and blinks. His right eyelid twitches. “No, it’s not. Not at all.” I can see his breathing is getting worked up again, and my shoulders tense. “You’re dead, Lizzie. I saw you kill yourself. There’s no way you could have made it through that.”

  Chills sweep down my spine, and I touch his forehead. It’s burning up. “What’s wrong with him?” I ask, suddenly very frightened again.

  “Theresa’s possession of his will was stronger than we thought; it’s taking more to break it. Aside from that, he hasn’t been exactly willing to be healed. He feels guilty, like he drove you away.”

  “Lizzie?” Jimmie’s eyes dart to me, and in them I can see the profound fear that eats away at him, slowly consuming him.

  I lean close. “Yeah, Jimmie. I’m here.” I take his hand, and he puts mine between his, anchoring himself to me.

  “Don’t leave. Please, baby, I didn’t mean to drive you away. Just don’t leave again.” He flinches, and I feel the pain of his words.

  “I’m not going anywhere, Jimmie. But you need to relax and rest. You’re exhausted.”

  His eyelids are drifting downward. “You’ll be here when I wake?” His voice sounds so childlike it cuts through me.

  “Of course. Just rest.”

  I watch until I’m sure he’s drifted off and stopped fighting Evan’s efforts to heal him. I look at Evan and find his eyes are closed, and his head is bowed. I start to ask a question, but Lev motions for me to remain quiet before taking my hand and leading me to the guest bedroom where Griffin lies. At least when I look at him, I can see his chest rise and fall with each breath. His hair is dark, rumpled silk against the white pillowcase, and even his slumber seems too still.

  “How is he?” I ask, flinching as I recall Evan striking him.

  “Still recovering. Evan didn’t mean to hurt him. Luckily, his power just drained Griffin, nothing more.”

  I nod. “Has he regained consciousness?”

  “No.” Lev slips his arm around me. His fingers stroke my back in a soft, swirling motion that reminds me of butterfly wings.

  “I hate this,” I whisper and lean against his him, tucking my head under his chin.

  “I know.” His voice rumbles through me, and suddenly I realize I’m still pretty tired myself as my world suddenly tilts slightly. Lev’s arms immediately tighten, and he says, “I know what you need, Elizabeth.” Then, without further discussion, he slips his arm beneath the bend of my knees and lifts me, carrying me to my room. The exhaustion is so strong it’s almost palpable as he sets me on the bed and lies beside me.

  “Shouldn’t I be close to Jimmie when he wakes up?” I try to rise, planning to head that way, but Lev sets a single palm on my chest to keep me inclined.

  “Evan will remain with him, and he will sense when Jimmie is rising toward consciousness. There is no place for you to rest there, so stay here. With me.”

  At this moment, with half-closed lids, I see his wings suddenly appear and furl around us. Then I look into those ocean eyes and find myself drifting.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  The world around me is quiet as I slowly ease from sleep into the soft warm bliss of Lev’s arms. As I slowl
y open my eyes, I feel Lev’s gaze upon my face. His mouth starts out in a neutral line and then gently curves into a gracious smile.

  “There you are,” he whispers, one hand gently toying with a strand of my hair. Slowly, his wings melt away to reveal night has slipped into the sky, and the moon’s pastel glow seeps in. Once Lev’s wings shrink back to the minimal glow on his back, the soft light caresses his naked shoulder and chest.

  “How’s Jimmie?” I ask.

  “Still sleeping, I would guess. But we can check on him.” I nod, and Lev props himself on one elbow before rising and reaching for my hand.

  “Did you rest well?” His fingers close around mine.

  “I always rest well with you.” I slowly rise and stand next to him.

  “Unless you think I’m dangerous, and then you really don’t rest at all.”

  Flinching, I can feel my shoulders stiffen. “I’m sorry.”

  He swallows hard. “Not half as sorry as I am, Elizabeth.”

  He tugs me toward the door, and we head to Jimmie’s room. As Lev predicted, Jimmie is still sleeping while Evan sits in the chair beside the bed, his elbows resting on his thighs, his chin in his hands.

  “How is he?” I walk up to the bed and peer at his face, relieved to see his expression seems much more tranquil and he’s not sweating anymore. I fold my arms across my chest and take a deep breath.

  “Much better. I think the next time he wakes up, the effects of Theresa’s influence will be gone.”

  “Will he remember what happened?” It’s probably a long shot, but it’s something to hope for, anyway.

  “’Fraid so,” Evan confirms. “He’s going to remember everything that happened, including watching you almost destroy yourself, which is why we need to come up with an explanation.”

  Shaking my head, I slowly sink into another chair. “What about the truth?”

  Lev brushes his hand across his cheek. “I know how much you want things to be better, but I honestly don’t think either he or Griffin are ready for the truth just yet. Most people are never ready for that kind of truth.”