by Karen Cogan
Katharine fingered the envelope which held the tickets to the ball. She looked behind her to be sure no one was watching, and then slipped out one ticket and enclosed it in a fold of her skirt as she descended the stairs to deliver the salver to the table beside the front door.
She felt as guilty as a child as she set off for her chamber, wanting to reach it before anyone asked her to perform a task that required both hands.
She passed by the kitchen uneventfully and arrived in her bedchamber. She heaved a sigh of relief. She had succeeded in acquiring the invitation to the ball. Lady Charlesworth would never know that it had gone missing. And if her luck held, Katharine would attend other balls as well. Surely Lady Charlesworth could not accept all of the invitations sent her. And by the time the season fully began, Katharine hoped to have rented her own house and be established in a suitable social circle.
She slid the gold embossed invitation into the novel she had been reading and slipped it under the blanket on her bed. It was safe now, this key to her future. She had secured it herself and so proved that she possessed what it took to rise above her circumstances.
She sat upon her bed and reflected. She was not proud of the deceit that had put her in this position. But she was proud of her self-sufficiency. If she kept her wits about her, all would be well. She would escape the clutches of her uncle and his sniveling son. And she would escape from the pretense that had put her in her awkward position with Philip and his family. She would soon be free.
On this note of assurance, she washed in the china basin and went to eat her lunch. Lizzyjoined her and prattled on about the sights she had seen when she accompanied Cook to secure the fresh duck that would be served at dinner. It seemed that Lady Charlesworth had invited some old friends and their daughter to dine that evening.
“Cook says Lord Charlesworth does not care much for their company. But Lady Charlesworth likes them and he will put up with tiresome company upon occasion in order to keep the lady from complaining.”
The butler walked past the small dining table set in a corner of the kitchen for the servants. His severe look subdued Lizzy. Knowing she had perhaps been too liberal with her tongue, she leaned toward Katharine and whispered, “I am to do the lady’s hair tonight while you see to her dress. Will that not be fun?”
Katharine could think of many other things that would be a great deal more fun. However, not wanting to spoil Lizzy’s excitement, she smiled and nodded an agreement. At least Lady Charlesworth would not require her company this evening. She would be free to plan what she would wear to the ball.
Yet, she could not shake a certain disquiet regarding Lady Charlesworth’sinvited guests. She finished her lunch and tried to ignore a nagging wish. She wished that the couple invited for dinner had not had a daughter.
Lady Charlesworth proved in high spirits that evening as they readied her for her small party. As she twisted and squirmed to give directions to Katharine, Katharine was glad that it was Lizzy and not her who was charged with arranging the mistress’ hair.
When they had finished, Lady Charlesworth studied her ample figure in the mirror as she patted her locks approvingly. “I have not seen Ira and Henry this whole long year. I hope Henry will not drink too much and fall asleep before the evening is over. He does that, you know.”
The door chimed and she fluttered about, in a dither to don her slippers. Lord Charlesworth appeared at her door to escort her down to dinner. She said to him, “It is ever so fun to see old friends. Do you not think so, my dear?”
His irritable grunt caused Lizzy to stifle a giggle.
“I do not think he is as eager as the mistress.”
Katharine smiled. “And I think you are very perceptive, my dear Lizzy.”
They followed discreetly behind the couple to peer down at the guests as they were relieved of their wraps. She heard Philip enter the portico and greet them. The couple was of little interest to Katharine, each being portly and middle-aged. However, the daughter was another matter entirely.
The girl was striking, with dark hair swept upward to display to advantage her slender neck. She looked to be Katharine’s age, though she was taller by several inches. Her dress of dark blue velvet had long fitted sleeves that accentuated the trimness of her arms. She smiled, looking up as she spoke. Katharine’s stomach tightened into an uncomfortable knot. Though she could not see him, Katharine was sure that Philip, the object of her charm, was smiling down in return.
While Lizzy was busy helping Cook in the kitchen, Katharine passed the time in her quarters. She spent a miserable evening listening to the sound of laughter and conversation from the dining room. She wished she might have escaped to the garden. Yet, the drizzle of cold rain trickling down the single window of her room told her she would only succeed in acquiring consumption if she tried.
Lizzywas full of information when she was released from her duties. She sought out Katharine, eager to share everything she had learned about the guests. Her eyes shone as she said, “They are Lord and Lady Buckley. He is an earl, I believe. Their daughter, Miss Buckley, is named Amelia. She is very pretty, though I believe she is inclined to show her temper. I heard her reply to her Mamá quite crossly when I was allowed to bring in coffee after the ladies retired from dinner.”
Katharine sighed. “I would wager she was all smiles and manners while Lord Philip was in attendance.”
Lizzy nodded. “From what I could tell, she was all politeness with Lord Philip”
She added with a frown. “I do not want to fault her too quickly. Perhaps she was only tired.”
“Perhaps.”
Katharine lay awake that night and wished that she had never met Philip. She wished she did not care if he had enjoyed the company of Miss Amelia Buckley. She tried very hard to distract herself with the gowns she had perused before Lizzy had joined her. She had almost certainly decided upon a crimson satin with overlaid cream tulle. If she could persuade Lizzy to secure her hair into a flattering upsweep, she might rival even the beautiful Miss Buckley.
This thought only brought her back to wonder if Philip found the girl attractive. She squeezed her eyes tightly closed in an effort to squeeze out all thoughts of him. She told herself that she cared for him only because she had no other suitors. The ball would solve her problem. When she arrived, free of her masquerade, she would attain all the attention she desired and she would not care a bit about Philip.
The next morning, Lady Charlesworthslept late, exhausted from her evening party. She breakfasted and then summoned Katharine to attend to her attire. “It was a wonderful evening,” she enthused as Katharine assisted her into a printed day dress. “I do believe my son was quite taken with dear Miss Buckley. And I believe she favors him as well. It would be wonderful if my friend, Mrs. Buckley and I should see our son and daughter wed. I have been disappointed once on that score and do not mean to be cheated again.”
Katharine nodded and feigned an interest that she did not feel. She did not enjoy hearing about Miss Buckley and was relieved when Lady Charlesworth dismissed her in order to write her morning notes.
It was unfortunate timing that she should meet Lord Philip just coming back from his ride as she headed to the library to return a book she had borrowed. She returned his greeting through stiff lips as she slipped past to give sanctuary to her wounded feelings. She was dismayed to discover that he had followed her. He paused in the doorway and watched her, spanning the opening and blocking her exit.
She felt like a mouse in a trap and the notion annoyed her. She would not allow him to toy with her emotions. If it was “dear Amelia” that he wanted, then it was Amelia that he would have.
“Did you need something, my lord? A book, perhaps?” She kept her voice deliberately cool as she faced the bookshelves.
“No. I hoped you might have a moment to discuss what you were reading.”
Katharine shook her head. “I do not. I have a busy morning. And I feel sure that your lordship will not be inco
nvenienced in finding both appealing and interesting conversation elsewhere.”
Philip frowned, believing his mother must have begun the day on a demanding tone “If you are busy now, perhaps you would join us this evening when I read poetry.”
Katharine faced him. Exasperation gave her voice a sharp edge. “I beg you to excuse me. I will not be able to join you.”
Philip studied her flushed face and the determination in her eyes. “Have I done something to offend you?”
“Indeed no. And I do not wish to offend you. I see no good that can come of your lordship being in my company. So, if you would excuse me…”
She paused in front of him, like a small bird poised to fly. Instinctively, he stepped away from the door and let her pass. As she scurried past him headed toward the kitchen, he stared after her and tried to understand her reaction. Did it mean that she held an attraction toward him also? If so, he could not decide whether to be pleased or disturbed.
Katharine found herself shaking as she escaped to her chamber. There, she thought, I have finally done it. I have assured Lord Philip there can never be anything between us. And though she tried to distract herself by tidying the tiny chamber, she could not escape the hollow feeling that plagued her, a sense of loss that left her feeling lonely and at lose ends.
She was relieved not to see Philip again that day, nor was there talk of his reading poetry that evening. Apparently, he had gone out to a concert, as did Lord and Lady Charlesworth, leaving Katharine to spend the evening with Lizzy.
It was the perfect opportunity to convince Lizzy to become an accomplice in her scheme. She waited until Lizzy was settled comfortably with her personal mending and asked, “Have you ever wondered what it would be like to attend a ball?”
Lizzy’s smile was wistful. “Oh, yes. I expect it would be wonderful.”
“What if I was to go to one and come back and tell you what it was like?”
Lizzy set her shift in her lap and stared at Katharine. “Have you been invited?”
“Not directly. But I have secured a ticket.”
Lizzy’s eyes went round with surprise. “How did you get it?”
“From Lady Charlesworth, but she must not know. She does not intend to go and it would be a waste not to use it.”
Lizzy gasped. “You could get into terrible trouble. You must not even think of it.”
“But I have thought of it and am quite determined to attend. I will borrow one of Lady Katharine’s gowns. I thought to ask you to arrange my hair.”
Lizzy’s eyes grew round with horror. She spent an impassioned half-hour trying to dissuade Katharine from her plans. When she realized it was to no avail, she finally agreed to the secret, though she feared the outcome would be ill.
On the Wednesday of the ball, Katharine waited until the Lord, Lady, and Lord Philip had left the house. Then, feeling breathless from the boldness of her plan, she dressed and secured a still unwilling Lizzy to pile her hair onto her head, leaving tiny tendrils to curl from each temple. She chose emerald earrings to dangle from each ear and clasped a gold necklace about her throat.
When she turned for Lizzy’s inspection, the girl admitted, “You look very grand. That dress looks like it was made for you.”
“Thank you, Lizzy. Please pray for me that all goes well. Imagine, I may meet a duke or marquess.”
“You may, though I do not see the good it will do you unless you can leave a glass slipper.”
Katharine smiled and gave the girl a quick hug before glancing out the door of their shared chamber. “Go and secure me a hackney, then make sure I am not seen leaving the house.”
The cook had already gone home and the butler had gone to his chamber. Nonetheless, Katharine wanted to take no chances that her opportunity would be spoiled. She waited until Lizzy returned to make her way quietly out of the house and into her waiting transportation.
She waved to Lizzy, who stood in the doorway nervously biting her lip. This will go well, Katharine whispered to herself. It must go well. For if she were to succeed in London society, she must begin somewhere.
The coach pulled onto St. James Street at the thickest rush of arrival of the grand coaches accompanied by the clatter of horses’ hooves and the call of footmen. As she was handed down, Katharine congratulated herself on her timing. In the push of the throng she was not likely to have either her lack of escort or her identity questioned.
Nonetheless her heart pounded as she approached the austere structure that looked down upon her like a threatening giant. Katharine took a deep breath and stepped into the crowd. She saw at once that she would have a great deal of competition from the other young ladies, who were clad in their finest embroidered tulle and deep ruby velvets.
She passed through the arched entranced and arrived at last into the great ballroom where she blinked, adjusting to the profusion of wax lights, especially those in the massive chandelier. The couches lining the walls were filled with matrons in rich clothing and plumed hats. Small groups of men and women stood awaiting the dancing that would begin promptly at eleven o’clock.
Katharine felt very much alone and was nearly regretting her impetuous decision when a young man appeared at her side. He was short and quite sturdy with merry blue eyes. He bowed so courteously that Katharine curtseyed and introduced herself.
“Lady Katharine Kirby.”
“It is a pleasure to meet you. I am Captain James Blake, son of the Earl of Errington. I saw you looking around and thought I might be of assistance.”
She smiled. “It is of no consequence. I was only admiring my surroundings.”
“May I be so bold as to request the first dances? It would be a great honor.”
“I should be very pleased to dance with you Captain.”
He bowed and retreated while Katharine made her way to a supper room. She was far too nervous for a large repast and settled instead upon a single tea cake and cup of ratafia. She sipped her refreshment while she waited for the band.
Precisely on time, she heard the first strains as Collinet, positioned behind garlands of flowers, struck up his band. The young Captain appeared at her elbow to guide her into the area roped off for dancing. As they passed the couch at the upper end of the floor, Katharine avoided the gaze of the patronesses.
Captain Blake escorted her toward the formation of the quadrille and said, “Lady Dominant quite frightens me. I believe she would like to withhold my ticket.”
“And why is that, Captain?”
“I do not know. Perhaps it is because this is my second season and I have not yet proposed to any of her favorite young ladies. That makes me quite useless, you know.”
“Does it now?” Katharine laughed as the dance began.
They spoke off and again, the Captain asking about her family.
“I am the daughter of the late Lord Kirby, Marques of Eastmoor.”
Captain Blake raised a sympathetic eyebrow. “Then you are here with your mother?”
“No. I am staying with one of her closest friends.”
Though it was not a lie, Katharine was relieved that the dance required a momentary parting. When they came together once again, Katharine changed the subject to ask about the Captain. He proved of a jovial disposition and not at all recalcitrant to tell her about himself.
As the dance ended, Katharine glanced up to see a familiar figure in a dark dress coat. The female beside him was none other than Miss Amelia Buckley. In a panic of alarm, Katharine ducked toward the tea room. If Philip were to see her, she would find it difficult to explain herself.
“I am sorry, Captain. I am overcome with heat. Would you be so kind as to accompany me for a cup of punch?”
“Indeed. I would be happy to do so.”
As she bought time, Katharine thought quickly. She must free herself of her companion and make a hasty escape.
The strains of a waltz began as they finished their punch.
“Come now. If you are refreshed, you have promised me a s
econd dance,” the Captain urged.
Katharine opened her mouth to excuse herself to the ladies refreshing room, when she saw Philip escorting Amelia toward the tea room. In a panic, she allowed Captain Blakely to lead her onto the dance floor. Taking her silence for agreement, he steered her smoothly into a waltz.
All seemed well until the end of the dance when Captain Blake suggested they sit upon the sofa. “I must know if I may call upon you. I do not even know with whom you are staying.”
Katharine, desperate to be excused, was grasping for an excuse when she heard Philip’s voice answer in her stead.
“She is staying with my parents and I believe she has promised me this dance.”
With a look of deep disappointment, Captain Blake bowed and took leave. Katharine turned slowly, forcing herself to meet Philip’s accusing gaze. His eyes were dark with disapproval.