by Karen Cogan
“Whatever do you think you are doing?”
She bit her lip, trapped by her lie and caught in the truth. There was nothing to be done save to confess.
“I am not who you believe me to be. I lied to you and I am sorry, but I did not mean for this to happen.”
“That I can believe.”
The other dancers brushed past, giving them puzzled looks. Philip took her elbow and steered her forcibly to an unoccupied sofa in a nearby supper room.
He pulled her beside him and said, “At first, I thought I must be mistaken when I saw you waltz by. Then, I knew by your hair that I was not mistaken. Speak quickly and tell me the truth for I have left Miss Buckley with her tea.”
Katharine took a deep breath and whispered in a rush, “I am Lady Katharine Kirby. I did not have fond memories of our meeting as children. When my father died, I was forced by my uncle to throw myself upon you to be married as a favor to my parents. Not wishing that fate, I exchanged identity with my maid. It was she who died from the accident.”
Philip glared at her. “Do you think I will believe a ridiculous lie like that? You have stolen her clothes and are attempting to pass yourself off, to trick some poor bloke into marriage. Where did you get the ticket?”
Katharine, though feeling completely justified in her right to attend, was not proud of how she had gained entrance. She stared miserably into her lap. “Your mother was not going to use it.”
His eyes glittered with anger as he leaned toward her to whisper fiercely. “Do you know how much trouble you could get into for this? Did you stop to think of the embarrassment to my family if you should be discovered? Imagine the disgrace to my mother if it should be found that her maid had stolen a ticket and attended the ball in her place. I am only relieved that I arrived in time to gainsay your plan.”
She stared up at him, feeling suddenly defiant. “You are not supposed to be here. I would not have come if I had known you were attending and I would not have disgraced your family. I have used only my own name and title.”
“And how did you plan to further the acquaintances you made tonight? I have no doubt men would wish to call on you, for you are beautiful. That, I will not deny.” His face softened a bit as he assessed her, dressed like a princess, with delicate copper tendrils.
He took a breath and added, “Were you planning to steal more invitations, for you could not have hoped to have them call at my house.”
“I shall soon have my own house. My father has left me a pension, enough to get by.”
Philip stared at her a moment and then shook his head. “No. I do not believe you. I cannot believe that a lady, such as Lady Katharine, would concoct such a lie, even to escape such an unpleasant fate as marriage to me. It is more likely that you conspire to lure me into your charade, to convince me that you are my deceased fiancé in the hope that I will marry you.”
Katharine opened her mouth to protest and was cut off as he continued. “It is all too ridiculous. Even though I spoke of marrying for love, do you not think that I take my obligations to my family seriously? I admit that you tempted me sorely and that your deceit is a grave disappointment. So grave that you shall be lucky if I do not have you arrested.”
Katharine gasped. “You dare not do so, for whether you believe me or not, I am who I say that I am. You can prove it by asking my uncle, that sly serpent who lives in my father’s house.”
Philip drew back, taken by surprise at the insistence of her outburst. Though it was plain that he still did not believe her, in the face of her insistence he was not sure what to do. So he said, “Since you offer your uncle as a witness to your identity, I shall not have you arrested forthright. I shall put you in a hackney coach and send you straight home. I will not say a word about this until I invite your uncle and he arrives. But I warn you, my parents know him so you need not plan a trick.”
Katharine stood and straightened the skirt of her satin dress. “I assure you, I need plan no tricks. I am who I say that I am.”
She allowed Philip to escort her to the door. He found her a coach and saw to her departure. It was not until she clattered away toward Park Street, that she allowed the tears she had been holding to fall. The truth was out and he did not believe her. She would pen her uncle a message straight away, but could she ever expunge the distrust that she had seen in Philip’s eyes and recapture his trust?
CHAPTER SEVEN
Lizzy sat straight up in bed when Katharine slipped into the room. The pale moonlight that shone in from the small window outlined her white bedclothes. “I did not expect you so early. The master and misses will not be home for hours.”
“I was not having a good time. A certain young man made himself quite disagreeable and spoiled my evening.”
“I am sorry to hear it, though I must confess relief that you are safely returned. I could not sleep for imagining all of the terrible things that could happen. It would have been dreadful if you had been found out.”
“Terrible indeed,” Katharine agreed wearily.
Lizzylit a candle and helped Katharine out of her dress and into a soft cotton gown. She felt suddenly drained of all thoughts and emotions and wanted most of all to crawl into bed and hide in the covers as she had done in her nursery as a little girl when thunderstorms had shaken the windows.
Lizzy returned to bed and after a few more drowsy questions about the ball, went mercifully to sleep. Katharine felt comforted by the sounds of her soft breathing. With a last shuddering sigh, Katharine closed her eyes and went to sleep.
She awoke well before Lady Charlesworthneeded her. Though the embarrassment of the evening still hung over her, she was determined to see it resolved by the truth. Though she believed that Lord Philip would issue a prompt invitation to her uncle, she doubted that he would explain the reason for the invitation. Katharine decided that it would be wise to prepare her uncle for the surprise of seeing her again. Feeling miserable, she took up her pen and began the humbling explanation of what she had done.
She saw to it that the letter went out with the post. Now she could only bide her time until he arrived. Meanwhile, Philip made every effort to avoid her, as did she to avoid him. Lady Charlesworth, unaware of any household difficulties save her own, remained blissfully oblivious of the situation.
A few days later, Lady Charlesworthwent out with her friends, giving Katharine the afternoon off. Katharine collected a few pence for her savings and hired a couch to convey her to see her solicitor, Mr. Adkins. Now that it had been sufficient time since she had first contacted the gentleman, she hoped that he had put all the necessary papers in order so that she might begin to collect her rightful pension.
She arrived while he had a gentleman in his office, forcing her to take a seat in the outer office where the young clerk irritated her with his adoring stares. When, at last, the client left and she was admitted, she was dismayed by the solicitor’s change of attitude.
Instead of inviting her to sit, he rubbed his thumbs together and stared at her from behind his desk. “I have made some inquiries and was disturbed to find out that Lady Katharine died in an accident some time ago. I do not know who you really are, but you should be ashamed of yourself for trying to steal the pension from her estate. Did you not think that I would find you out?”
Katharine stared at him, feeling dumbstruck. Her lie was proving more far-reaching and distressing than she had ever imagined. Yet she knew from her experience with Philip that no amount of insistence on her part would convince the man of her identity.
She faced him squarely and said, “I assure you, sir, that it is all a misunderstanding. When my uncle, the current lord of the estate, arrives in London he will attest to the truth of my claim as the daughter and pensioner of Lord Kirby. Until then, I shall bid you good-day.”
Until her uncle arrived, she would be forced to postpone plans for the freedom that she so eagerly desired. Her heart protested the necessity of turning to a man she so thoroughly disliked for deliverance. Yet
there was no help for it.
She wanted to run from the room, yet would not dream of giving this pompous solicitor the satisfaction of seeing her distress. So she took leave with as much poise as her bruised emotions would allow and hired a coach for the ride home. When she arrived, she gathered her dignity and determined to concentrate on her duties to Lady Charlesworth.
Katharine had just arrived home from an errand to the bakery one chilly March afternoon, when Lady Charlesworth informed her that Lord Graynor had arrived in her absence. At Katharine’s anxious glance about the hall, Lady Charlesworth said, “He has accompanied Philip to the club. It was a surprise to see him. But, of course, I knew him at once. He looks a great deal like his dear brother, rest his soul. It must have been hard for Lord Graynor to have lost a brother and a niece so close in time. And I am sure it pains him on his visit to London not to see his niece married to my Philip. But I am glad he has stopped to see us. Perhaps he may draw some comfort from stopping back to dinner. I have invited him this evening.”
Katharine’s heart pounded against her ribs. Tonight would be her rescue. Her uncle would verify her story and prove to Philip that she had told him the truth. He might still censure her for her pretense. Yet, she would prefer such censure, along with the truth, than for him to continue to believe her a fraud.
Tense with expectation, she found she could hardly do anything right. She broke a vase in the parlor for which she had been instructed to collect flowers and cut her finger on a shard of glass. She tripped on a stool in Lady Charlesworth’s chamber and upset a candle, nearly scorching a stack of letters that were piled beside it.
Lady Charlesworth shook her head. “You do not seem at all yourself today. Perhaps I should dismiss you and call Lizzy before your carelessness destroys the entire house.”
“I am sorry. I promise I shall be more careful.”
She succeeded in getting Lady Charlesworth attired for dinner without further incident. Yet, when she attempted to eat her own supper in the kitchen with Lizzy, she found she could hardly swallow a bite.
At long last, she heard the butler greet Lord Philip and his companion at the door. Her nerves went tight as an over strung violin. Yet, she gathered her courage and rose to meet them while they lingered in the portico, unloading their wraps. Her uncle spotted her and she forced a smile.
She bestowed a curtsey, and said, “Good evening, Uncle. I am grateful to you for coming to clear up the confusion. I must take the blame for the unhappiness my pretense has caused. Pray forgive me for the inconvenience.”
Lord Graynor nodded and replied smoothly, “Why, Ginny, it is nice to see you again. You look well.”
Katharine frowned, feeling she must have not heard him correctly. She rushed to say, “My letter must have been a shock after you had believed me dead. And to see me now must seem very strange.”
“It is not strange at all. I am glad to find you well. I trust you have been satisfactory service to her ladyship.”
Katharine assumed he referred to her pretension. “I am afraid I have done very ill, indeed, unprepared as I was for my duties. And I am eager to cast them off and have the truth be told. That is why you must tell Lord Philip that it is I, Katharine. Please, do tell him who I am.”
Lord Graynor pulled at his beard.
Philip spoke, his voice tense. “This girl has told me that she is your niece. Do you deny it, sir?”
“Indeed, I must. I do not know why she would make up such a story. This girl was a maid at the manor, Lady Katharine’s maid, in fact.”
Katharine felt her knees go weak. “It is not true. Why do you say such a thing?”
Philip broke in, speaking to Lord Graynor. “It is obvious why she has made it up. She hoped to profit by the lie, to pass herself off as a lady and snag a fine husband.”
The disappointment on his face was more than Katharine could bear.
Lady Charlesworth had descended the stairs to demand an explanation.
Philip turned to Katharine. “Perhaps you would like to tell your mistress about the ticket you stole to Almack’s and how you have tried to pass yourself off as Lady Katharine, even to appearing in public shamelessly clad in her clothes.”
Lady Charlesworth gasped and looked as though she might collapse. “Is it true? No, it cannot be. She would never dare such a devious act.”
Lord Graynor shook his head and looked regretful. “It is distressing when a servant with whom we have become fond lets us down.”
“It is not true,” Katharine insisted. She knew she was on the brink of becoming hysterical, but she could stand it no longer. Why was her uncle refusing to acknowledge her? Was it a punishment for having spurned Cedric? If so, she wished that he would see that she had suffered enough and take pity upon her.
She spun to face Lady Charlesworth. “I am Katharine Kirby, daughter of the late Marquess of Eastmoor. It was the wish of my parents that I marry Lord Philip, but I made up the lie because I did not wish to do so…”
She was cut off by the mistress before she could continue, “Nonsense, utter nonsense. Would your own uncle not know you? I am shocked by your reckless daring. In fact, I am feeling faint and fear I must sit down.”
She fanned herself with dramatic flails of her white-gloved hand. Katharine thought it more likely that she relished being the center of attention than that she was in danger of swooning. She clutched the banister and waited for Philip to take her arm and lead her attentively into the parlor.
Katharine faced her uncle “Why will you not tell them? I know I was wrong to deceive them, but I pray you will not continue this torture.”
“Torture? My dear, I must insist that I have no idea what you are talking about. Since it is clear that you have upset the lady, I do not believe she will welcome your service any longer. I will tell her that I have generously offered to take you back with me to serve as a maid at my estate.”
Katharine felt the blood drain from her face as she began to understand at what game he was playing. He would return her to his estate, where she would be forced to marry Cedric. And without access to her father’s funds, she would have no money for escape.
“I will not go with you.”
Lord Graynor raised an eyebrow. “No? I think you will find that you have little choice.”
Philip, having left his mother to recover upon the sofa, rejoined them and said, “I apologize for your trouble in coming, Lord Graynor. While I have found you amiable company, I would not have bothered you had I not been half-convinced this girl was telling the truth.”
He turned to Katharine. “You put on a compelling show at Almack’s. I nearly believed you. I wanted to believe you. Now I see that I should have made good on my threat and had you arrested.”
Lord Graynor nodded. “Indeed, you would be quite within your rights to do so. However, I have offered this scheming girl the opportunity to return with me. She is not likely to get into such trouble serving in the country.”
Philip gave her a severe gaze. “It is the best offer you are likely to get. Pack your things and be ready to leave with Lord Graynor. And, mind you, you will not be taking Lady Katharine’s clothes with you.”
Katharine swallowed over the immense lump that had formed in her throat. Philip’s disdain gave her more pain than the knowledge that she could land upon the Londonstreets with naught but the clothes on her back. Yet even if that should be her fate, as she could expect no quarter or sympathy from anyone in London, she was firmly resolved that she would not return with her uncle to become a pawn for his purpose. The thought of bearing him grandchildren brought a vile taste to her throat.
She bolstered a last flare of indignity and looked Philip squarely in the eye. “It is not I who lies to you now. It is my uncle who lies for his own purpose. So, I will pack my bags and gladly leave your house. But you are wrong. I am Lady Katharine. We played as children at your estate and I find you as distasteful now as I did then. So, I am glad to have been spared my part in the marriage.”
Katharine turned on her heel. She squared her slender shoulders and held her head erect as she marched to her bedchamber, fleeing one man who had proven more unscrupulous than she had imagined and another she had come to admire, even to love.
The tears coursed down her cheeks as she sank onto her bed. What would she do? She knew no one to whom she could turn for help.
Lizzy found her thus when she finished her kitchen duties. She ran to Katharine and threw her arms around her. “My dear Ginny, whatever is the matter?”
Hearing the assumed name only served to make Katharine cry harder. Lizzy held her and crooned softly, looking as though she might burst into tears of sympathy. When Katharine’s sobs ebbed into an exhausted trickle of tears, Lizzy asked, “Did you do something to displease her ladyship?”