by C. A. Harms
“Then I’ll sleep on your damn couch.” Will flops down and stretches out his arms over the back of the couch like he is settling in and I laugh.
“No, you won’t.”
Silence passes over us all. Whitney looks back and forth between her two brothers, lost in the testosterone that flows heavy in the room. Will and Warren continue to share some quiet conversation by using only facial expressions instead of words. Anyone on the outside looking in would have likely found the entire exchange comical, but I know they are planning something I’ll hate in the end.
“What’s his full name?” Warren finally asks, crossing his arms over his chest. “And his family, too.”
“Gunther is the last name.” I relax but only a fraction, knowing that Warren is going to do what I asked. “Zeke, Gabe, and Jake.” I pause for a second as a flashback of Gabe from that night hits me. “Cyrus.” The name alone feels like a shot of acid. That name alone reminds me of the side of Jake I never want to know. “His first name is Cyrus, but he goes by Jake.”
Again Warren looks at Will before he grabs his keys and storms off toward the door. He slams it a little harder than he needs to as he exits.
“You better stock the refrigerator with my favorite beer,” Will states with conviction as he grabs for the television controller. “Oh, and be ready to confirm to Marcy why I won’t be home until late tonight.”
“You are not sleeping all night on our couch.” It’s my turn to place my hands on my hips.
“No.” I feel a sudden sense of relief wash over me. That is, until he continues. “I’m staying until Warren gets back, then he’s sleeping on the couch so I can go home to my wife. His wife happens to be on shift tonight at the hospital so he’s got a free night.”
“You are both being so…” I growl as I stomp my foot in frustration like a two-year-old. “My god, you both just need to stop it.”
“Not gonna happen.” He wouldn’t budge and I should’ve already expected that. The Flannigan brothers are hard-headed. So instead I walk off toward my room like a scorned teenager and close my door behind me.
Damn men. All of them.
I wake up to the sound of Isabelle’s squeal. I look over at my alarm clock on the nightstand and panic runs through me when I realize it is close to eight at night.
Pushing back the covers, I grow frustrated when they manage to get tangled around my legs and I practically fall out of bed in the process. I can hear the sound of men talking as I round the corner and find not only Will, but Warren and Trevor too. On the floor near the couch is Whitney who sits before Isabelle as she bounces away in her soothing bouncer chair.
“What’s going on?” They all turn to face me when they realize I’m no longer hidden behind the door of my bedroom. “Why are you all staring at me like that?”
“I, um…” Warren stumbles over his words and my stomach feels like it suddenly drops. This can’t be good. “He wasn’t lying about his family, Blair. Or about his involvement in having them arrested.” Suddenly my airways feel just a little tighter. “This guy’s a cop.” What? “He’s new to the force, a rookie. I’m talking only weeks on the job, but currently on leave from Chicago PD. It would appear he has some friends in high places, and after some digging around I found that he’s applying to Polk County as well as the city police department for a transfer.”
“What?” I feel as though I’ve been warped into some kind of fantasy land.
“Looks like he didn’t just work with the force to bring down his family and the entire ring. He ended up joining them too. He goes by Jake legally, there is no Cyrus Gunther. He had it changed.”
I lean against the wall at my side to keep myself from stumbling as I let the information sink in. He’s a cop?
“He’s staying over at the Holiday Inn, looks like he’s paid two weeks in advance.” I don’t look up at Warren as he continues. My head spins with the information he’s giving me. None of this seems real. How can someone go from one side of crime to another?
“I want to tell you to stay away from him,” Will says as he steps up in front of me and kneels down to look me in the eye. “But I know I can’t. Something tells me he’s not gonna stay away and I guess if the tables were turned, if it was me and there was someone telling me I had to stay away from Marcy and Matthew, I’d wouldn’t either. Because there isn’t anything or anyone that could keep me from them. Part of me wants to be sympathetic to this guy, but I won’t lie to you, Blair, I’m cautious.”
“Me too.” He seems pleased with my confession as he reaches out and pulls me in for a hug. “No matter what happens, you need to remember that I’m here. We all are.”
“There’s one more thing you need to know, Blair.” Warren places his hand on my shoulder, gaining my full attention as Will leans back. “He’s not staying in the hotel alone.” My stomach plummets. “He has a woman with him.”
I don’t have the right to care, I know this. Jake isn’t mine, and I don’t really think he ever was. But knowing that if he is a part of Isabelle’s life, the woman he has with him will be too is what bothers me the most. It’ll be hard enough to share her with Jake; I’m not sure I can share her with his girlfriend too. Or whatever she is.
Chapter Six
Jake
“A kid,” Farris repeats to himself for the third time and I can almost picture him shaking his head in disbelief. “Bet that was one hell of a shock for sure. You went there for a woman, and now you got a kid.”
“So tell me you got some good news for me.” I sit down on the lounger near the pool as I watch Sadie go for yet another lap. She’s come down to the pool almost daily at the same time every day since we arrived. For an hour she swims back and forth, only taking small breaks in between each lap. I think it serves as some type of therapy, so I never question it.
“Word is Polk County has a position opening up.” Farris is my inside informer since he has multiple friends and family on the police forces scattered throughout the US. It’s great to have friends with connections. “They have two guys up for retirement, but I need you to hold out for a little longer. There seems to be a hang up.”
“What type of hang up?"
He lets out a deep breath and I hear papers shuffle around through the other end of the line. “Do you know a guy by the name of Warren Flannigan?” Just the name alone sets off warning bells in my head.
“Flannigan is Blair’s best friend’s last name.” I know this can’t be good.
“Which would explain why the guy is poking around in your past.” Yes, it would. “Your girl seems to have her own connections.”
I smile, knowing since she took the time to check me out, it means she hasn’t completely written me off.
I look up just in time to see Sadie climbing out of the pool and walking in my direction. She looks better than she did in the city, more lively, and the color in her cheeks has come back. She’s also put on a few much needed pounds, but I won’t dare tell her that. She no longer looks like that frail, lifeless girl I knew a year ago. She has a spark back that looks good on her.
I hold out the towel to her and as she reaches for it, she shakes her head, throwing water all over me from her wet hair. I jump up, the chair scoots along the tiled floor, and she laughs out loud.
“Pansy,” she mumbles as she walks off in the direction of our rooms.
“How’s Sadie doing?” I’ve noticed Farris has been asking about her often. They had something between them in the city. Neither of them have openly admitted it, but I could tell.
“Why don’t you take a trip to Iowa and find out for yourself?” He doesn’t reply back right away but when he does, I can almost sense he was grinning widely.
“We’ll see.”
I end the call after he assures me that he’s working on getting me into Polk County Sheriff’s Department. If that doesn’t work, I’ll have to find another means of income because one thing’s for sure, I’m not going anywhere. Now that I know I have a daughter, I’ve fo
und my home. It is wherever she is. Which means it’s time to find a more permanent residence besides the Holiday Inn.
I bypass Sadie’s room and go to my own door. Though they are joint rooms and we often leave the inside doors connecting the two open, there are also times for privacy. Just as I place my keycard into the slot on the door I pause, looking to my left.
Only a few feet away stands Blair, looking back at me hesitantly.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have come but—”
“No,” I interrupt her, “it’s okay.” I push open the door to my room and motion for her to join me. “Let’s step inside. We can talk more privately.”
Again Blair hesitates, looking at the now open door, almost like she believes stepping inside will be nothing more than a mistake.
“Just talk.”
Her gaze finds mine and after a couple of short breaths, I can see her shoulders visibly relax before finally deciding to accept my offer.
I try not to focus on her backside as she steps into the room, but it’s like a rope pulling me in. I remember a time when I’d been able to reach out and pull her close whenever the urge had risen. I miss those times.
“Sorry about the mess.” I hurry around her, quickly trying to gather the clothes I have scattered around the room. I’m a shitty housekeeper but in my defense, no one has been in my room but me, with the exception of Sadie, but she doesn’t count. “Here,” I hold out my hand to the chair that is now visible in the corner of the room, “have a seat.”
She does so, but not without caution.
“I’m surprised to see you here.” I sit on the bed opposite her. “I don’t ever remember telling you where I was staying.” She tries to look at anything but me, but it’s a fraction too late; I’ve already seen the discomfort in her eyes. “Who’s the guy you have snooping around to gather information about me?”
“It was more of a means to verify you were telling the truth.” Blair lifts her gaze to meet my own and offers a little shrug. “Not really to find out things you hadn’t already told me. But to answer your question, it’s Whitney’s brother. He works for the Polk County Sheriff’s Department.”
I offer a simple nod.
“In the process, he also found out that you are a cop.” She arches her brow and that reaction makes me chuckle. “And of course, the fact that you are staying here, at this hotel.”
Again she looks away, like she’s avoiding saying anything more.
“So he also informed you that I’ve requested a transfer to Iowa?” It is her turn to nod, still looking down at her lap instead of at me. “You should know that if that doesn’t work out then I’ll be looking for something else outside of the force, because I don’t plan on going anywhere. Not unless you and Isabelle leave.”
“This is our home.”
“Then its mine, too.” We stare at one another, waiting for the other to break. It’s the loud obnoxious knock on the adjoining doors that breaks our trance.
“Move it, Jake.” Sadie’s voice sounds muffled through the door, but it is clear enough to know what she says. “I’m hungry and after that workout I just had, I’m counting on you to feed me.” I’m well aware of the way her words sound. It’s also a difficult situation because Sadie and Blair have a past, one that didn’t end on the best of terms.
“Sorry,” Blair stands quickly and begins walking toward the door, “I guess I should go.”
“No.” Reaching out I grab her hand and she pauses with her back still turned to me. “You don’t have to.”
Another knock rings throughout the small room. “Feed me or I’ll be forced to order from every takeout menu in this town and bill your credit card,” Sadie hollers out. “It’s your choice.”
“Yeah, I think I do.” I notice the way Blair is looking toward the door Sadie just spoke through. Then her gaze shifts and she glances over her shoulder to our still joined hands. “Honestly I don’t know what I was thinking coming here.”
“But something brought you here.”
Silence passes between us once again and ever so slowly she eases her hand from mine before crossing her arms over her chest. She pivots, looking up at me with such a fierce determination that it makes my stomach feel empty.
“I can’t stop you from seeing Isabelle.” Blair takes in a shuddering breath. “I won’t try.” Relief washes over me. “But I will fight you on her safety and those who become a part of her life along with you.”
“I have that right too, ya know.” Her eyes narrow at me and I recognize it as her look of irritation. “The right to protect her from the guys you choose to bring in and out of her life.” I know what she is referring to when she makes it clear that she’ll fight me on my involvement with Isabelle if she needs to. It is directed toward the voice she heard only moments ago; she just won’t come out and say it. So I do make it clear.
“Well, then I guess it’s a good thing the only men involved in her life have been her grandpa and her uncles,” she replies. I feel the tightness in my chest grow less tense. “Isabelle comes first, she has since the day she was born. I would never bring anyone into her life that I felt wasn’t worthy. That won’t ever change.”
I follow behind her as she opens the door to my room and steps out into the hallway. I notice the way she looks toward the door to Sadie’s room before quickly looking at the floor to hide her interest.
“When can I see her?” I ask.
“I work tonight.” She takes in a deep breath, her shoulders lifting, then relaxing once more. “I get off at seven. If you want to meet me there I can have Will bring her by.”
“Will?”
A smile tugs at the corner of her lips. “Whitney’s other brother. He and his wife keep Izzy when Whitney can’t.” There went a little more tension, fading away. “Or she stays with Whitney’s parents. They’re the only true family I’ve ever had and that makes them her family too.”
I know very little about Blair’s childhood. She was always so reluctant to share any of her past with me; I assume because there aren’t many good memories to share. But one thing’s for certain: she did talk about Whitney’s parents and how good they were to her, so knowing that they are also a part of my daughter’s life gives me peace. Fact is, neither of us have family to share with Isabelle, so these people are the perfect substitute.
“Spencer’s at seven.” I tell her with a nod.
“I know I don’t have the right to ask, but for now can we hold back on introducing your girlfriend to Izzy?” She may not have wanted me to see the flare of her nostrils when she said the word “girlfriend,” but I do. That alone gives me a rush of hope. “I know she’s too little to notice any tension, but this entire thing is overwhelming enough that I just think…” She pauses, at a loss for words.
“I’ll be there alone,” I tell her, reaching out to nudge her chin, forcing Blair to look up at me. “But just so we’re clear, she’s not my girlfriend, just a close friend.” Even though she nods I can see the hesitance in her gesture. “She’s more like a kid sister, really.”
“It’s none of my business,” she steps back and my hand falls free from her face. “I just don’t want any more awkwardness then there will already be.”
Chapter Seven
Blair
The plate slips out of my hand and bangs against the counter as the silverware on top of it tumbles to the floor. The racket echoes through the small space, making it only seem that much louder.
“Did you lather yourself in baby oil before your shift today or what?”
I don’t look up from the slate grey counter when Krista steps up beside me. I’ve been a wreck all night, and with each passing second it only gets worse.
“I’m just off tonight.”
“That’s an understatement,” she adds with a laugh. “Wilber said he’s gonna glue skid pads to your hands so you won’t drop anything else.” Wilber is our seventy-two-year-old boss and an all-around great guy. Like a grandfather to us all, he spoils us and never once has
he gotten angry, even when he should. “Thank goodness you have less than an hour before your shift ends.”
She hurries away after grabbing what she came for and I look up at the clock, verifying what she said. Forty-eight minutes…that’s how long I have until Isabelle meets her daddy. Though he saw her only a couple days ago, it all seems like a blur.
I guess it’s the unknown that terrifies me so much. Where do we go from here? How do I share her with him?
“He’s here.” I spin around, and in the process knock a fork to the floor. Krista is standing behind me, her brow arched as she looks down at the floor between us. Numerous utensils remain at my feet, my hands shake, and though no one can see it, my stomach is tied in knots. Forget knots; I’m so tangled up inside I feel like I’m going to keel over.
“Who’s here?” I already know she means Jake, but I guess I’m hoping for some luck that she means Will or someone else instead.
Krista reaches out and grabs my arms. “First off, you need to calm down.”
I nod, but I am anything but calm.
“Jake just sat down in your area, and Carol got him something to drink.” Again I nod.
“Is he alone?”
“Yes.” She smiles because she knows me too well. “Is this about you being nervous over him with Izzy? Or is it more of you being worried that he is with someone else and you’re gonna be forced to watch that?”
“Iz,” I say, but am well aware that it comes out sounding more like a question. “Okay, maybe both.” My shoulders sag, my heart beats rapidly, and I suddenly feel exhausted. “I can’t let myself feel the things I’m feeling, not for him. Not after everything that’s happened.”
Krista says nothing, only lets me ramble on with my self-lecture.
“He can’t just show up here a year later, then we fall back into the time before it all went wrong. He lied, he pretended to be someone else, that can’t be forgotten. Having a child doesn’t change a thing, being a cop, changing his life, it doesn’t erase the past. It can’t. Right?”