Shadows of Memories (Baxter Academy)

by Charles, Jane

  “That’s all I am doing!” She throws her head back. “Waiting on insurance. Waiting to see Nana. Waiting to see if there’s a medication that will work. Waiting until the right apartment becomes available. Waiting to see if my kids will get scholarships. Waiting to see who’s accepted into college. Waiting for answers to requests at the school.” She turns to look at me. “Even though I didn’t have total control over my life before, I had enough. That’s not the case anymore. Everything is happening around me or to me. I hate it.” She stands and stomps into the kitchen.

  “It’s temporary, Jenna.”

  She turns and looks at me. “Is it? God I hope so, because I hate being adrift like this. I need to have control of something and I have none right now.”

  What can I say? I don’t have the answers and I can’t fix any of this.

  “I guess I should think about dinner, though I’m not very hungry.” She opens the fridge. “There are no groceries and I really don’t want to go to the store.”

  “Tell you what.” I come up from behind her and slip my hands around her waist, pulling her close. “Let me get a shower then I’ll run to the store and then grab a pizza on my way back.”

  She leans back against me and sighs. I love holding her and I’m so fucking glad she doesn’t pull away when I touch her, like she did at first when everything went to hell.

  “Are you sure you don’t mind?” She turns in my arms and looks up. “I can go with.”

  I quickly kiss her and smile. “You relax. I’ll get everything we need.” I kiss her quickly again because if I don’t, I’ll linger and want more. “Make out a quick list so I don’t forget anything.”

  Thirty-One

  “Make a list.” I can’t remember the last time I put together a grocery list. I usually just shop, knowing what I need. Grabbing the notepad and pen out of my bag, I sit at the small table in the kitchen and start writing – paper towels, salad, potatoes, thighs. “Shit.”

  I tear the paper out of the book and crumple it before tossing it across the room. Why the hell am I writing Nana’s list?

  I shake my head and start over, but stop and listen.

  “Fly me to the moon. Let me play among the stars.”

  Cole sings in the shower? He didn’t in New York, and I haven’t been around when he’s showered since we got back.

  “In other words, hold my hand. In other words, baby, kiss me.”

  A giggle rises and I just sit back and listen. His voice is pretty good. Does he ever karaoke? I don’t think he was in choir in school.

  “Fill my heart with song.”

  I can’t help it and start laughing harder. Not because he’s bad, because he’s not, but I would have never in a million years thought Cole was a singer and certainly not a song like Fly Me to the Moon.

  “You are all I long for. All I worship and adore.”

  Is he a Sinatra or Bublé fan? Or both? What else does he have in his repertoire?

  My phone rings and I grab it to check the number. It’s the nursing home and quickly answer, tuning Cole out. “Hello.”

  “Miss Ferguson, this is Patty from Manor Gardens.”

  Patty? I don’t remember a Patty, but I haven’t met everyone yet.

  “Your grandmother is a bit aggressive this evening and the doctor wants to try a new medication.”

  “Okay.”

  “As her POA, we need to get permission.”

  “Sure, if that’s what he thinks is best.”

  She rattles off a drug I’ve never heard of. “I just need your verbal consent and we’ll send you paperwork.”

  I straighten. I’ve signed more paperwork this week than I have in the past year. “Why?”

  “The verbal consent is so we can start it immediately. But, we need a written record of your authorization in the file.”

  Am I going to have to do this each time her medication changes? I don’t mind, but it’s got to be a pain for them. “Of course.”

  “Thanks.”

  “By aggressive, what do you mean?” Nana’s never been a person to hit or anything like that, so I’m not sure what’s going on.

  “She pushed back at a nurse. It’s not unusual for that to happen here.”

  “It’s not like her though.”

  “She’s just getting used to being here. There’s nothing to worry about.”

  “Okay.” It’s easy for her to tell me not to worry, but it’s not so easy to do.

  I hang up the phone and go back to writing my list. Not that I can concentrate and think of anything I need, even though I have nothing. Not even a loaf of bread.

  Bread! I need bread. Now, what else? And, when did writing a grocery list get so damned difficult?

  Why is Nana being aggressive? Because she’s in a strange place? Because she hasn’t seen me? Is she feeling like I abandoned her?

  Jenna’s grocery list is fairly short so I order the pizza before I go into the store and it’s ready just as I get to Antonio’s. By the time I get back, Jenna’s changed out of her work clothes and is wearing a long, loose dress that might be a nightgown, but I’m not sure. There’s still some steam in the bathroom and I assume she bathed. I don’t think she showered because her hair isn’t wet, though I suppose it is possible to shower without getting your hair wet. I’ve just never tried.

  Instead of using the small table in the kitchen, she puts the pizza on the coffee table in front of the sofa and turns the television on. I’m glad to see she hasn’t gotten her laptop out. Even though we’ve relaxed together in the evenings, I’m usually watching a game while she works. She’s always working but I’m glad tonight’s an exception.

  I take a seat beside her and sip my beer before grabbing a slice of pizza. It’s loaded and I have to cradle it in two hands to keep from dropping the toppings all over Alexia’s couch.

  “Comedy, sitcom, drama, movie?”

  “I don’t care,” I answer. It’s Friday night and I have no idea what is usually on. I’m gone too much to follow any series.

  “I know you like sports. We could watch a game.”

  “Do you even like basketball?” I chuckle.

  “I could live without it.” She shrugs. “But, I have a book. Why don’t you watch the game?”

  Jenna reading is the most normal thing in the world to me. It’s the first thing that’s felt right in days. “If you’re sure you don’t mind.”

  She gives me a half smile. “Do you really need to ask?” She waves her e-reader in front of my face.

  I relax against the back of the couch and turn on the game. She cuddles up in a corner and starts to read. This is a good sign, right? Jenna’s reading. It’s her favorite thing to do, and a part of me relaxes. Not quite as worried as I was earlier.

  By the time the game is in the fourth quarter, Jenna’s stretched out on the couch and her feet are in my lap. She’s been curling her toes between my thighs. I’d assume she knows exactly what she’s doing but when I glance over, she’s just reading and twirling a piece of her hair.

  Her toes are rubbing my balls and she doesn’t even seem to realize it. Is she so engrossed in her book that she’s unaware? I’d remove her foot, but it feels too damn good. I’ll probably be miserable for the rest of the night.

  Maybe she knows what she’s doing. I slide a hand up her leg and she pushes me away.

  Damn.

  She’s into her book and doesn’t want to be disturbed. That’s all that’s going on, even though I wish it were more.

  By the time the game is over I’m hard as a rock. Shifting her feet away, I stand and take the pizza box to the garbage. She grabs the empty beer cans and tosses them. It’s getting late and we should probably turn in. Jenna’s still not sleeping enough and I don’t want to be the reason she isn’t going to bed now.

  “Stay here for a minute.” She disappears into the bedroom, closing the door and I finish cleaning up from the meal before sitting back on the couch and start flipping channels again. A documentary is probably w
hat I need to forget about being deep in Jenna. It will also bore me to tears and maybe put me to sleep.

  The door opens about five minutes later. “Why don’t you turn out the lights and television and come to bed.”

  Like I’m going to be able to sleep right now. My cock still hasn’t relaxed and I’m tense as hell. Maybe she just needs a little encouragement. A little seduction. If she shuts me down, fine, but a guy’s gotta at least try.

  After checking the lock on the door, I head to her room. The lights are out, but candles are lit. I step inside. She’s at the foot of the bed and has changed into a slinky little number, all red and lacy, and hiding nothing. If possible, my cock is harder than it was earlier and becoming uncomfortable.

  I step toward her, anxious to get into bed but she holds a hand up as if to stop me. I’m not sure what she has in mind, but I hope she doesn’t think we are just sleeping. I’ll never be able to sleep with her dressed like that. I’m not even sure you call it clothing. I can see light brown nipples beneath that lace and my mouth salivates, wanting to suck and nip at them. To stir her blood and make her want me as badly as I want her.

  “Take your shirt off.”

  I hitch an eyebrow. So, this is the game she wants to play. Not that I’m certain what kind of game it is. Still, I’m happy to oblige. I pull the t-shirt over my head and toss it aside. Jenna walks forward and places a hand on my chest. I reach for her and she backs away.

  “No touching.”

  “What?

  “I touch you. You can’t touch me.”

  I’m not sure that’s even possible, but I’ll try. “Okay.”

  She bends, and licks a nipple. Desire shoots to my dick. I’ll explode if she continues to tease me like this.

  A hand slides down my chest and across my abdomen and my muscles tense. I have to fist my hands to keep from touching her. It’s pure torture not to.

  Jenna drops to her knees and unbuckles my belt before sliding down the zipper of my jeans. I bite back a groan as her hand brushes against my cock.

  What the hell was she reading anyway and was she intentionally rubbing me while I watched the game?

  She pushes the jeans down my legs, leaving me still in my boxers.

  “Kick them away,” she orders.

  I do as she says. Does Jenna have a little dom in her? I would have never suspected and it’s really a turn on. Not all the time of course because I like to have control too.

  It hits me. This is about control. She needs it and if this is the only place she can get it, I’ll give it. I’m all hers to do with as she pleases.

  Her hand grabs my cock through my boxers and she squeezes. My knees nearly buckle.

  “On the bed.” There’s nothing gentle in her tone, but it isn’t mean either. Just orders since I came in the room.

  “Whatever you say.” I crawl into the middle and notice the cuffs dangling from the posts of the headboard. Does she have a whip stashed away? I’m not sure how I’d feel about that.

  “On your back.”

  I do as I’m told. Jenna gets on the bed, straddles me, then takes one wrist at a time and secures them in cuffs. Her twat is pressed against me. She’s not wearing any panties and she’s already wet. I haven’t even touched her, but it could have been the book that got her in this state.

  “Comfortable?” she asks and for the first time I see a little doubt in her eyes.

  “Oh, yeah.” I half smile, not sure if I should let on how much I’m really enjoying this. I’ve never participated in any type of bondage and she claimed to be vanilla. This could be a new experience for both of us. And, not only am I ready for her to do whatever she wants to me, I want her free to do so without a care in the world.

  Jenna leans in, her lips against mine, and kisses me. I mean, really kisses me like she hasn’t since we were in New York. Her tongue tangles with mine, her breasts are pushed against my chest, her hair draping around us and her wet pussy pressing against my cock. My balls tighten and I push up and against her.

  She breaks the kiss, moving to my jaw, neck and then chest. I want to touch her. Tangle my fingers in her hair, pinch her tits, sink my fingers into her folds, rub her clit, but I can’t do any of those things. All I can do is lie back and take it.

  My boxers are being pulled off as she kisses and licks her way down my stomach. My cock is free, straining toward her. She shifts only long enough the pull the boxers from my feet and toss them to the floor, then she’s straddling my thighs.

  My breathing is heavy. Anticipating what she might do next courses through me.

  She slides her hands up my inner thighs, excruciatingly slow, until she comes to my balls, and begins fondling them with one hand.

  “Do you like that?”

  All I can do is nod. Like is too mild of a word.

  Her other hand slides up my cock and squeezes. I groan and grab the posts that the cuffs are linked to. If I can’t touch her, I have to do something.

  She bends and licks the tip. My cock swells and she takes me into her mouth. Involuntarily my hips come off of the bed. She pushes them back down and looks up. “Do I need to cuff your ankles too?”

  “No.” I breathe out. My mouth’s dry. I can’t touch and I can’t move. That’s asking a hell of a lot. I’m not sure I can control myself that well, but I have to do what she says. This is all about her. Giving her control of something. Does she even realize what this is about?

  She takes me in her mouth again and I groan. Jenna giving me head is something I had thought about but the fantasies were never this good. Her tongue caresses the backside of my cock, taking me deep as she slides her hands up my chest and teases my nipple.

  I’m not sure how long I can last. I’m so close to coming, but I want to hold off. I want to enjoy this as long as possible and just when I don’t think I can last for one more lick or suck, she pulls back, sitting up. I open my mouth to protest but hold it back as she reaches toward the nightstand. There’s a box of condoms that I hadn’t even noticed.

  She tears the wrapping and tosses it aside before rolling on the latex. Jenna shifts and poises her pussy directly over me, bracing her hands on my chest and slowly slides down, taking me deep inside. I’m glad I’m wearing the condom because if I didn’t have protection, I would have come the minute I was inside her. As it is, I’m not sure how much longer I can hold out and I want to hold out. The pleasure and pain is more intense than I’ve ever experienced.

  Her eyes lock with mine as she starts to move. I don’t look away. I barely blink, though I can’t hold back the moans. My balls tighten, I thicken. I can’t stop this. As much as I want to, I can’t. And, just as I’m about to explode, she stops and grins.

  Jenna doesn’t move a muscle, but has me seated in her as far as I can go.

  The urgency to come slowly leaves, but my breathing doesn’t lighten. I’m not so sure if it’s from anticipation or the urgency that’s already flooded my body.

  She moves again, as if she knows exactly what she’s doing and what it’s doing to me. Taking it slow and easy as she goes up and down. Over and over but it doesn’t take long before I’m almost there.

  And, she stops again.

  “Are you trying to kill me?” I can’t help it. I’ve moved to frustration. My heart is going to pound out of my chest and my balls are going to explode if I don’t get some relief.

  “Do you want to come?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you need to come?”

  Our eyes are locked.

  “Yes.”

  “Badly?”

  “Please.” At this point, I’m not above begging.

  She grins then leans over to the nightstand again. What is she getting now?

  Jenna straightens and in her hand is that lipstick vibrator. If she’d just uncuff me, I’d be more than happy to give her clit all the attention it needs.

  The little buzzing fills the room and she presses it against her. I can feel the tip against my skin. Her head falls back
and she groans. But she isn’t moving. Is she going to come and not take me with her?

  After a moment she starts moving on me, the vibrator pressed to her clit and one hand braced against my chest. She starts to ride and she looks at me again. Her pupils are dilated as she rubs the vibrator against her and moves on me quicker and quicker. I grab the posts of the headboard again to hold on for the ride. My balls tighten, I thicken and just when I can’t hold back any longer, she throws her head back, cries out and sinks down on me as I finally explode with the most powerful orgasm of my life.

  Thirty-Two

  It’s already noon and I’m just now waking up. I can’t believe I slept nearly twelve hours. I know I needed the sleep, but the pre-slumber activity must have been the ticket to a good night’s sleep.

  Did I really handcuff Cole to the bed? I glance up. They’re still dangling there and all I can do is close my eyes and cringe. What the hell does he think of me now, not that he made any objections?

  I also feel lighter today. Not so overwhelmed with everything. Sex was exactly what I needed. Not only for my body but my mental and emotional health.

  Those endorphins are amazing things.

  After shuffling down the hall, I go about making a cup of coffee. “I handcuffed Cole to the bed.” It may take me a while to get over what I did. There’s a little embarrassment but I also want to do it again. I’ve never been the bold one in the bedroom. I just usually went along with what the guy wanted to do.

  There was power in taking charge last night. Power in control.

  Shit!

  Was it all about control because I couldn’t find it anywhere else?

  What kind of person did that make me?

  My phone beeps and I grab it off the coffee table. I can’t believe I left it out here all night. Ever since Nana was hurt, I’ve had it with my constantly, afraid I’ll miss a call from the nursing home.

  It’s Cole. My face burns with embarrassment, even though he isn’t even in the damn room.

  “Hey.”

  “How are you doing today?” I can hear the smile in his voice.