by Amy Clipston
As she grinned at him, a bright smile overtook his face. The look in his eyes made her pulse start to pound. Did he already know she’d loved him from afar since she was ten years old? Oh no. Ariana would be furious if she found out Mariella had a crush on her brother! When they were younger, and Mariella had been tempted to tell her friend the truth, Ariana said she was tired of girls in their youth group feigning friendship with her just to get close to Tobias. She never wanted Ariana to doubt her loyalty, so she’d kept her feelings for Tobias a secret for years.
“It’s really gut to see you.” He turned toward the windshield and flipped the reins as he guided the horse toward the street.
She silently blew out a sigh of relief as Tobias kept his attention to the road. How ridiculous of her to be worried he could tell how she felt about him. Even if he could, he wouldn’t be interested. He’d never paid much attention to her. She was never more than his sister’s best friend, and that’s all she’d ever be to him.
“That pie smells heavenly.” He gave her a sideways glance. “Is it lemon meringue?”
“Ya, it is. I thought your mamm and dat might enjoy it.”
“That’s very thoughtful of you. Danki.”
She adjusted the pie plate on her lap and then took in his profile. Despite his smiles, tension seemed to be coming from him in waves. Even by the light of a lantern, she could tell his knuckles were white as he gripped the reins.
“Are you all right?” she asked.
“Ya.” He halted the horse at a red light and then turned to her. “Why?”
“You seem naerfich.”
He snorted. “You could say that.”
“About going home? Why?”
“Let’s just say I don’t expect mei dat to welcome me back with open arms.”
“Why wouldn’t he?”
“I didn’t exactly leave on good terms.” The light turned green and he guided the horse through the intersection. “If he kicks me out, could you take me to Jesse’s haus before you go home?” Jesse was not only his sister’s fiancé, but his best friend.
He cringed as if remembering something. “Wait. Jesse wouldn’t want me either. I left on a bad note with him too. I suppose I might have to find a hotel room.” He sighed. “I made a lot of mistakes before I left, but I’m ready to apologize and make things right. If Dat doesn’t forgive me, though, I guess I’ll have to go back to Florida and try to make a life there.”
She leaned toward him. “He’ll not only forgive you but he’ll be froh to see you. Everyone missed you, and they’re going to celebrate you being home.” She held up the pie. “That’s the real reason I brought this.”
He gave her a small smile. “I appreciate your encouragement, but I don’t think you know how badly I hurt my family and Jesse. Mamm and Ariana seemed to forgive me right away. They wrote me letters once I let them know where I was. But Dat? I never heard from him.”
“I do know what happened. Ariana told me you checked yourself into a treatment facility for alcoholism, but I never shared that information with anyone. Not even mei dat. Your schweschder and parents were so worried about you.”
They rode in silence for a few minutes as he kept his eyes focused on the road ahead.
“How are you doing now?” she finally asked.
“I’m doing well.” He gave her a quick glance before looking back toward the road. “I feel better than I have in a long time.”
“That’s wunderbaar. How was Florida?”
“It was gut. I lived with mei onkel and worked in his auto repair shop.”
“You have an onkel who fixes cars?”
“Ya. Imagine that.” His smile was back, and it warmed her heart. “He left the community when he was eighteen and went to Florida. He took me in and helped me find a rehabilitation place. Once I got out of the program, he let me live with him and work in his shop to earn some money. I sent mei dat a check to replace the buggy I wrecked before I left, and then I saved most of the rest. Onkel Earl wouldn’t take any money for rent.”
“That was generous of him. What are your plans now?”
“My plans? I suppose that depends on what mei dat says when he sees me.”
“Oh.”
They fell silent as he halted the horse at another red light. When the light turned green, he flipped the reins and glanced toward her. “Are you getting married this wedding season too?”
Mariella gave a bark of laughter and then clapped her hand over her mouth.
“Why is that funny?” His dark eyes sparkled with mirth.
“It’s funny because I would need a fiancé to get married.”
“Oh. Do you have anyone special in your life?”
“No.” She shook her head as embarrassment again heated her cheeks. “I don’t have a boyfriend or a fiancé.” She stared out the windshield to avoid what she imagined would be a curious stare. Or maybe her romantic status didn’t surprise him at all.
“Ariana told me her wedding is the first weekend in December.”
“Ya, it’s coming quickly. I’m helping her and your mamm with the preparations. We’re working on the dresses between our quilt orders.” She looked at him again. “Did Ariana tell you we’re making quilts to sell now?”
“Ya, she did. I think that’s great. Do you get a lot of orders?”
“Oh, ya. We’ve been busy. We supply some of the local stores and we have private customers too.”
“What’s been your most popular order?”
“Oh, it’s definitely been for queen- and king-size quilts. Most of our customers like the log cabin design.” He asked her a few more questions about their business until his parents’ farmhouse came into view.
As he guided the horse up the long, rock driveway, his expression hardened. She wasn’t sure how, but maybe she could be an encouragement to him as he faced his father for the first time in five months.
Chapter Two
As his heart hammered with apprehension, Tobias stared at the back of the whitewashed two-story farmhouse where he’d been born and raised. He gripped the strap on his duffel bag with one hand and held Mariella’s quilt over his other arm as more of the disrespectful conversation he’d had with his father before he left filtered through his mind.
“Why were you racing? What were you thinking?” Dat had shaken a finger inches from Tobias’s nose. “What do you have to say for yourself, Tobias John?”
“Nothing,” Tobias snapped.
“Nothing?” Dat’s bushy eyebrows had shot up toward his receding hairline. “Why not?”
“Because I don’t have to say anything,” Tobias had said, seething. “You’ll say it for me.”
Tobias cringed as the memory faded. Coming home was a colossal mistake. He should have remained in Florida and continued working for his uncle. Maybe he could have become his partner and learned how to repair cars. Then he wouldn’t have to face his father and confess his sin to the church. The congregation might not believe his heart was pure enough to return to the church. They could reject him before he even had a chance to make his confession.
Worse, his father might never forgive him.
“Don’t stand out here in the cold. Come inside.” Mariella’s voice broke through his mental tirade as she stood on the rock path leading to the back of the house, beckoning him. The warmth in her eyes gave him enough confidence to propel him forward. He followed her to the porch.
She climbed two steps, but then swiveled toward him, her face crumpled into a scowl.
“Was iss letz?” he asked.
“I’m so sorry. I don’t mean to barge in on your reunion with your family, to intrude.” She descended the steps. “You should go first.”
His anxiety dissolved as he dropped his bag and touched her arm. “You’re not intruding. In fact, you’re the reason I’m still here.”
“What do you mean?”
“You just gave me the confidence to walk up these steps. I was considering just going back to Florida until you told me to
get out of the cold. You calmed me, and I’m grateful you’re here.”
“Oh.” Her cheeks flushed pink as she looked up at him and smiled. “I’m glad I can help you.”
Suddenly he realized—for the first time—just how attractive she was with her golden-blonde hair peeking out from beneath her prayer covering and her astute, dark-chocolate eyes. She was stunning. Had he been blind all these years? Or had she transformed while he was gone? Why hadn’t one of the young men in their community already snatched her up?
“Tobias?” She tilted her head. “Are you okay?”
“Ya.” He hauled his heavy bag onto his shoulder and climbed the porch steps. When he reached the door, he knocked.
She appeared beside him and rolled her eyes before turning the doorknob. “You grew up here, remember?”
“Right.” He pushed open the door and stepped into the mudroom. Instantly, the smells of home—his home—filled his nostrils. They were familiar and comforting.
“Hello?” Mamm’s voice called from the kitchen.
He hesitated.
Mariella nudged him forward. “Go.”
He stepped into the kitchen. His parents, Ariana, and Jesse sat at the table, drinking coffee.
Mamm and Ariana gasped and jumped to their feet.
“Tobias!” Ariana called.
Mamm made a strangled sound in her throat, and her brown eyes filled with tears as she came near. When Tobias set his bag on the floor and draped the quilt on the back of her empty chair, Mamm pulled him into her arms. He closed his eyes and breathed in her familiar scent as his heart swelled with happiness—and regret. Oh, how he’d missed her!
When she released him, she cupped her hand to his face and looked up at him. Tears trickled down her cheeks. “You’re home,” she whispered, her voice wobbly.
“Ya, I am.” His voice shook too.
“Tobias.” Ariana touched his arm and then pulled him into a hug. “It’s so gut to see you. You got my letters?”
“I did.” He released her from the hug. “Danki.”
Jesse appeared beside him. Ariana seemed to think all was forgiven in her letters, but now that he was here, would his best friend reject him?
“I’m glad you’re back.”
Tobias hesitated, but then stepped forward to shake Jesse’s hand. Instead, Jesse gave him a quick hug, tapping his shoulder.
“It’s gut to see you,” Jesse said when he released him.
The anxiety that had been clamping down on Tobias’s shoulders loosened slightly at Jesse’s words. Then he turned toward his father, who now stood beside him.
“Dat,” Tobias said, holding out his hand. He held his breath.
Dat gave him a curt nod as he shook his hand. He remained silent, but his hazel eyes were glassy as if he were holding back tears. Was he as happy to see him as Mamm was? Was all forgiven with his father as well?
“Did you just get back to town?” Mamm asked.
“I did, and Mariella brought me here from her haus.” Tobias had almost forgotten Mariella had come inside with him. He turned toward the doorway where she stood with a sheepish smile, holding the pie plate. She’d already shed her coat in the mudroom, no doubt to give him a few minutes alone with his family.
“Mariella. Come in.” Tobias beckoned her, just as she’d done in the driveway.
“I brought that quilt I needed to finish,” she said as she waved a hand toward where Tobias left it. “And a lemon meringue pie.” She held up the plate.
As a brief silence followed, Tobias averted his eyes to avoid his family’s questioning looks. They were no doubt wondering why he hadn’t come directly home. But he wasn’t ready to explain.
“Danki for bringing the pie,” Ariana finally said as she moved to the counter. “I’ll make more kaffi.”
Mamm took his coat and then instructed, “Tobias, sit.”
Tobias sank into the seat he’d always taken for meals. To be back in the kitchen where he’d eaten nearly all his meals from birth felt surreal, almost like a dream.
“Have you eaten supper?” Mamm gestured toward their gas-powered refrigerator.
“Ya, I ate at Mariella’s haus.” Tobias fingered the blue tablecloth, still feeling uncomfortable.
Mariella placed the pie on the table. “Do you want me to get plates and forks?” she asked his mother.
“I’ll get them.” Ariana began pulling dishes out of the cabinets.
Mariella joined her at the counter. “I’ll get a knife to cut the pie.”
Jesse sat down across from Tobias. “How was Florida?”
“It was gut,” Tobias said as Ariana set a mug in front of him.
“And how are you doing?” Mamm asked, her brown eyes showing concern.
“I’m doing well,” Tobias said. “Really. I completed my rehabilitation and I feel better than ever.”
“Gut.” Mamm’s expression relaxed. “How is mei bruder?”
“He’s great.”
Tobias told them about his work in Onkel Earl’s shop and, over pie and coffee, what it had been like to live in Florida. His father remained silent the whole time.
When they reached a lull in the conversation, Mamm glanced at his duffel bag. “Are . . . are you staying?” Her expression was hopeful.
Tobias glanced at his father. “I planned to, if I’m welcome here.”
“For how long?” Dat lifted his mug of coffee as the question hung in the air like a thick fog covering the kitchen.
“I’d like to stay for gut, if you’ll allow me to move back.” Tobias gripped his empty mug, trying to stop his hands from quaking. It was time to face the gravity of what he’d done, not just by leaving his family, but by leaving his community. “When I arrived at the bus station, I took a taxi to Mariella’s haus so I could speak to her dat before coming here.”
“What did you discuss with him?” Dat’s eyes were trained on him.
Tobias opened his mouth, but the words stuck in his throat. He looked at Mariella sitting beside him, and when she gave him a shy smile, he found the courage to continue.
“I told him why I left the community and that I want to come back. If the congregation will allow me, I’m going to confess at church tomorrow.” Tobias bit his lower lip as silence filled the kitchen.
Mamm took a shuddering breath as tears began to fall.
Dat remained silent, his dry eyes still assessing his son.
“Am I welcome to stay here?” Tobias asked.
“Ya, ya, of course!” Mamm reached over and squeezed his hand. “You’re our sohn, and this will always be your home.”
“Danki.” Tobias looked at Dat, but his father said nothing, his eyes turned down. Why would Dat tear up upon his arrival, yet behave as though the deepest chasm remained between father and son? Perhaps Tobias had hurt him more than he imagined. How was he ever going to make it up to him?
“So you’ll be at our wedding, right?” Ariana chimed in.
“Of course I will,” Tobias said, forcing a smile. He didn’t want his troubles to dim his sister’s happiness.
She grinned as she took Jesse’s hand. “Great!”
“I should get on the road.” Mariella carried some of the dishes and utensils to the counter. “I promised mei dat I wouldn’t be too late.”
Tobias looked at the clock on the wall and cringed. Where had the time gone? “I didn’t realize it was nearly eight thirty. I’m sorry for keeping you here so late.”
“It’s okay.” Mariella shrugged. “I had a gut time.”
Tobias gathered the empty pie plate and knife and carried them to the counter. Mariella started filling one side of the sink with hot water.
“I’ll take care of the dishes, Mariella.” Ariana set three mugs on the counter. “You just go.”
“Are you sure?” Mariella glanced at Ariana over her shoulder. “I hate leaving you with a mess.”
“I’ll help too,” Mamm offered as she moved to the sink. “Danki for the appeditlich pie. I’ll call Mrs.
Wilson to come and get the quilt after I finish the dishes. The quilt is schee. She will love it. It’s the perfect wedding gift for her niece.”
“Oh, I’m thrilled you like it.” Mariella washed the pie plate and then dried it with a dish towel.
“I’ll walk you out,” Tobias offered.
“I should go too.” Jesse placed his mug on the counter. “Danki for supper, Roseanne.”
“Gern gschehne,” Mamm tossed over her shoulder as she scraped crumbs into a trash can. “Be careful going home. We’ll see you both at church tomorrow.”
Mariella and Jesse said good night to Tobias’s parents, and along with Ariana and Tobias they retrieved their coats from the mudroom. Tobias grabbed a Coleman lamp and then suggested to Mariella that she stay inside where it was warm while he checked her horse and buggy.
As the men brought the horses from the barn, Jesse gave Tobias a sideways glance. “I can’t believe you’re back.”
“You didn’t think I’d come back?”
Jesse shrugged as he led his mare to the buggy. “I supposed you’d return at some point, but I didn’t think it would be this soon. Did Arie’s letters inspire you to come home?”
“Ya, that was part of it.”
They worked in silence for a few moments, but Tobias knew it was time to apologize. He struggled to find the right words. When the buggy was ready, he faced Jesse and took a deep breath.
“I’m sorry for all the awful things I said to you before I left,” Tobias began. “I realized through counseling that I blamed everyone else for my problems with mei dat. I used drinking to try to escape them, and it did nothing but destroy my relationships with the most important people in my life. I hope you can forgive me.”
“I do forgive you.” Jesse rested his hand on Tobias’s shoulder. “In fact, I should thank you for opening my eyes to my own shortcomings.”
“What do you mean?”
“You said I was privileged, and I never had to work for the things I have. You were right. I took everything for granted, including Arie. You may have been drunk when you said all those things, but you were right.” Jesse leaned against the buggy. “After you left, your dat broke my engagement to Arie, and I had to prove to him that I was worthy of her hand in marriage. I worked harder than I ever have in my life, and I proved to your dat and Arie how much I care about her. I’ve promised her I will never take her for granted again, and I intend to keep that promise. I realized I had a lot to prove to her, and I’m glad you helped me realize that.”