Gently Falls the Bakula

by Sudha Murty

  Shrikant would also tease her saying that he knew she would some day become his wife and that is why he wanted her to call him Shri.

  Shrimati would become very dejected whenever Gangakka hurt her like this. Her mother was such a gentle, docile person, she would never have taught her daughter wrong things or given her bad advice. Shrimati felt very helpless when her mother was criticized by Gangakka, but she said nothing.

  Ten days after the marriage, Shrikant and his Shrimati came to Bombay. It was the month of August. The monsoon had set in and it was pouring in Bombay. Bombay rains are so different from the rains in Dharwad. The continuous rain would disrupt local life, but the disciplined citizens of Bombay never complained.

  Shrimati was shocked to see her small single-bedroom apartment at Bandra.

  It was probably smaller than a room in their Hubli house. There was no question of a garden or a bakula tree in a place like Bombay.

  ‘Shri, why should we pay a thousand rupees rent for such a small house?’

  Shrikant laughed at her innocence.

  ‘Shrimati, it is very difficult to get an apartment in Bandra without paying an advance. Be happy about this house. It is only thanks to Vasudev that we got it.’

  ‘Shri, what’s so great about Bandra?’

  ‘Shrimati, Bandra is a very expensive area. It is very well connected. Gradually, you will understand all that.’

  Shrikant reported for work, as a software engineer, on the appointed day. He was on probation for six months. Among the many people who joined the company that day, he was the only person who was married. Though it seemed a little odd, Shrikant was never embarrassed about it.

  Shrimati was left alone at home. She would keep remembering her mother, her Hubli house, and the quiet atmosphere of their hometown. All these memories would make her homesick. Her eyes would well up with tears. Kamala had not shed a single tear at her daughter’s marriage. She had held it in with sheer willpower.

  Now Shrimati started seeing her mother in a new light. At least for her, life was fun with a loving husband, a new city, new experiences . . . But for her mother? Her only friend was Shrimati! How is she managing without me, Shrimati wondered. This was the first time in twenty-two years that Shrimati was away from her mother.

  She also remembered Gangakka’s frequent taunts.

  ‘Shrimati, the colour of the saree your mother has given me is not good.’

  ‘Avva, for that price, it would have been the best one,’ Rama would add.

  ‘How much money did your parents spend for the marriage?’

  Shrimati did not know what to answer, but Rama would support her mother saying, ‘It would have definitely been less than what the Desais would spend on one day of Diwali.’

  Shrimati was so soft-spoken and well-behaved that it was difficult for her to answer back. Besides, she had just got married. She did not want to create any problems for anyone.

  After her marriage Vandana too shifted to Bombay. But she lived far away, near the Arland Church at Malad, another suburb of Bombay.

  Unlike Hubli, in spite of being in the same city, it was not easy to meet her often.

  Shrimati found it difficult to confide in Vandana about her problems because Vandana’s in-laws were very affectionate people.

  When Shrimati went to their house, she saw Vandana’s mother-in-law giving her a saree for the Gowri festival. Though it was not an expensive one, it was a token of affection!

  Whenever something was to be given to her daughter-in-law, Gangakka on the other hand would say, ‘Oh that is not our custom’ or ‘You are too modern, so I have not given you anything.’

  Irrespective of all this, life was very happy for Shrimati because of Shrikant. They were young, they were starting a new home and Gangakka was not present physically!

  Soon, Shrimati started getting used to Bombay. She took up cooking for the first time in her life. Shrikant was a hard working person and a dutiful husband. Right at the beginning of the month he would hand over his entire salary to her. He had told her, ‘Shrimati, my mother has suffered a lot. She has sacrificed so much for my education. So, every month, you must send her thousand rupees. Then with the rest, you manage the house. I won’t ask you anything.’

  She did not have any expensive habits, so Shrikant’s salary was more than enough for her. Without fail, she would send thousand rupees to her mother-in-law.

  Shrikant too had simple tastes. His only luxury was technical books which he would buy because they were essential for his work. Shrimati knew about it and would keep some money aside. On his modest salary they had enough for their needs, but not for luxuries. Some weekends, Shrimati and Shrikant would visit nearby tourist sites like the Elephanta Caves, Bhaja, Karla and other places of interest. Shrikant was not really interested in these historical places but for Shrimati’s sake he would go.

  Six months after their wedding Shrimati got a letter from Professor Collins in reply to the wedding invitation she had sent him.

  He wrote that he had been a visiting professor in South America for six months. As a wedding gift he sent her a set of Roman and Greek history books. This was the best gift Shrimati had received.

  Shrikant was confirmed as a permanent employee within three months of his training instead of the usual six months, since his performance had been very good. As a result he became busier by the day. His company, which was of a moderate size, was growing rapidly and Shrikant started growing with the company. Within a year’s time, everyone had heard about him. His general manager, Mr Vishwas Kelkar, had taken a great liking to Shrikant because of his hardworking nature. He would work even on Sundays. He never uttered the words, ‘Sorry, I cannot do it.’

  Sometimes, Shrikant would work the entire night. At such times he would ask Shrimati to carry dinner to the office for him. Bombay being a safe place, Shrimati would take a local train, give him his dinner and come back. Initially, she would wonder how people travelled in such crowded trains. But now, she was one of them.

  It was the custom for a newly-wed couple to go to the parents’ place for the first Diwali after marriage. Shrikant and Shrimati were supposed to go to Hubli, but because of some urgent assignment, Shrikant could not go and Shrimati had to go alone. She had made it a point to take gifts for Gangakka and Rama. Even after all these months, the treatment she received from them was no different.

  The first year of Shrikant and Shrimati’s marriage flew by and Shrimati had become a Bombayite. The charm of discovering Bombay had worn off and she had started feeling a little lonely. She seriously began to think of continuing her studies and Shrikant welcomed the idea whole-heartedly. At times, Shrikant would feel bad that his intelligent wife was whiling away her time in Bombay. So, he encouraged her to study further. But a letter from Gangakka jeopardized everything.

  FOURTEEN

  Gangakka had written, ‘For your studies, I had taken a loan of one lakh rupees. One part of that money I took from your uncle Sheenappa and the other from my cousin Shyam. Now Sheenappa’s daughter Ratna is getting married and Shyam is building another house. Both of them have asked for the money back, at the earliest. Maybe you can send ten instalments of ten thousand rupees. They are nice people and have not asked for any interest. Maybe Sheenappa is asking for the money because he is upset that you did not marry his daughter, I do not know. However, I feel that it is your duty to return the money now . . .’

  The real reason for Gangakka’s letter was something entirely different. Gangakka was extremely miserable that her daughter-in-law was happy. She could see the happiness when Shrimati had come to Hubli for Diwali.

  She was envious of Shrimati. All these days, Shrikant was solely her property. She could not bear the fact that now he also belonged to Shrimati. Gangakka’s happiness was inversely proportional to Shrimati’s.

  As Shrimati was physically far away from her, Gangakka had to find other ways to trouble her. Though Shrimati invited Gangakka to Bombay many times, she refused to go. She sa
id she would get bored there. Besides, it was Shrimati’s house, after all.

  Bombay was too far for Rama to visit them often, but she did spend a lot of time with her mother.

  It was Rama’s idea to ask Shrikant for the money. ‘Let us ask Shrikant for a huge sum. That will make Shrimati struggle.’

  ‘But on what pretext can I ask?’

  ‘Tell him that you had taken a loan for his education.’

  They knew that Shrikant would be hurt in the process, but they felt that he deserved it because he had married Shrimati.

  Shrimati was scared when she read that letter. How on earth would they get a lakh of rupees? Neither did they have so much money nor could her parents afford to lend it. Shrikant was worried too. He could not ask for a loan from his company in the second year itself. After he had been made permanent, his salary had increased, but he also had to set up a new house, and buy everything from scratch.

  Shrimati suddenly found a solution.

  ‘Shri, can I get a job?’

  ‘Yes, you may get one, but not in any history department, where you will be paid very little.’

  ‘Don’t worry, Shri, I will take up any job anywhere for a year and save money.’

  ‘But you wanted to study, Shrimati!’

  ‘The day we send the last instalment, I will stop working and pursue my studies. It doesn’t matter if I am late by a year. Can you please find a job for me?’

  ‘Shrimati, you can get an administrative job, but it is not really meant for people like you. You are a different kind of person, your talents are in a totally different area. More than that, why should you repay my loan?’

  Shrimati smiled and answered, ‘When you are mine, your loan is also mine. It comes as a package. I cannot say I want only my husband. His joys and difficulties are also acceptable to me.’

  Shrikant was too moved to speak.

  He actually believed that his mother had taken that huge loan. He never suspected any foul play on her part. He trusted his mother and strongly believed that she would never do him any wrong.

  He was also hurt that Shrimati had to work for more than a year for his sake and postpone her Ph.D. He was aware that it was unfair to her.

  With the help of Mr Kelkar, Shrimati got a job with a small import-export company in the Fort area of downtown Bombay. The salary was good but the job was mechanical. Shrimati had to leave home at seven in the morning and returned at seven in the night. With some hesitation, Shrimati joined the company. Her Parsi boss, Mr Farooq Modi, was a decent man. He was a good friend of Mr Kelkar. Both of them were members of the same club on Charni Road. There was a predominance of women in the office as Mr Modi firmly believed that women worked harder than men.

  Shrimati soon became very popular in the office because of her non-interfering nature and her habit of working hard. She did not enjoy the job much since it was monotonous, but she did enjoy the company of all her colleagues. They came from different parts of Bombay. Shrimati became friendly with three of them—Nalini Bapat, Marukh and Shanta Iyer. She often went shopping with them but she wouldn’t spend a rupee on anything. Her main goal was to save as much as she could.

  All the money Nalini earned, she spent on gold ornaments. Marukh would spend her’s on clothes. Shanta had a big responsibility, as she looked after a huge family.

  Every month, Shrimati would send Gangakka her entire salary along with some savings from Shrikant’s salary.

  When Gangakka received the first instalment, her joy knew no bounds. She had not expected her obedient son and sincere daughter-in-law to take her demand so seriously. They said they would send her the money in ten instalments. She regretted not telling them that the amount was two lakhs instead of one!

  Now that she had excess money in her hands, Gangakka decided to use this bonus amount to buy ornaments for Rama. Rama was thrilled. Neither she nor her mother realized that this money was at the cost of the bright young Shrimati’s future.

  After fifteen months, Shrimati decided to resign. All her friends felt that she was being impractical. Nalini, in particular, told her, ‘Shrimati, you must always earn your own money, irrespective of your husband’s income. His money can never be yours. A day could come when he may say that this is my money and I will spend it the way I want and suppose you want to spend something, you will be at his mercy.’

  Shanta advised her, ‘Shrimati, be practical. You don’t have work at home. Extra earning is always a great incentive. You never know how the days are ahead. This is a good company, try to continue as long as possible.’

  Shrimati knew that it was their affection for her that made them advise her. In an impersonal place like Bombay, no one advised anyone on personal matters. Shrimati said to them, ‘Thank you for your sincere advice. For me, there is no difference between Shrikant’s money and my money. I am not in the habit of spending money on myself. Besides, if I did want to, he would never object. Actually, I want to register for my Ph.D in history.’

  Mr Modi, her boss, tried to persuade her, ‘Shrimati, why do you want to resign? If you want, I will raise your salary. You are a good worker. I don’t want to lose you.’

  Shrimati politely declined his offer. When she came home that day, she was so relieved and happy. With the last instalment, Shrikant wrote a note to his mother, thanking her for providing him with a good education, in spite of all the difficulties. He did not forget to mention that it was only because of Shrimati’s hard work that he had been able to send the money.

  Gangakka was furious when she read his letter. ‘What is so great about Shrimati? She did not bring any dowry, so she has repaid his loan, that’s all.’

  FIFTEEN

  One evening, Shrikant told Shrimati, ‘Don’t cook at home today. We will go out to eat.’

  ‘No Shri, it will be expensive,’ Shrimati replied.

  ‘It’s all right. One day we can afford to eat outside.’

  ‘Are you getting a pay rise?’

  ‘Of course. I am going to be a manager now.’

  ‘Oh! Within two and a half years?’ she asked with surprise and happiness.

  ‘Don’t go by the number of years. I have probably worked as much as a normal person would in five years. My salary has increased but the cost of living also has gone up. So we should send more money to my mother. At least now she can get something for Rama without asking me. Let her be economically independent.’

  Shrimati became silent for a moment, before agreeing to what Shrikant said.

  She did not want to curb Shri’s happiness by speaking what was on her mind. Shrimati remembered the ingratitude of Gangakka who hadn’t said a single word to her about the loan, knowing very well about her contribution.

  This was the first time the two of them were having dinner outside home. Both of them walked up to Dhanaraj Restaurant in Bandra.

  While Shrimati was looking at the menu card, Shrikant warned her playfully, ‘At least today don’t look at the price, Shrimati!’

  Shrimati put the menu card aside and asked, ‘Shri, what are your responsibilities in the new job?’

  ‘I may have to travel more. A group will report to me. My boss Mr Kelkar has great confidence in me and he expects that I should work with total concentration. The salary hike comes with more responsibility, of course.’

  ‘Hey, Shri, when you talk about concentration I am reminded of one of the stories . . .’

  ‘Hope it is not the usual long historical one!’ Shrikant interrupted.

  ‘Yes, it is, but you must listen.’

  ‘I don’t have much choice when I am married to a historian,’ Shrikant joked and got ready to listen to her.

  ‘Long ago, there was a young sage who wanted to write a commentary on the Dharmashastra. He was so focused in his work that he had forgotten about the outside world. His poor mother used to look after him and when she realized that she was getting older, she went to the next village and chose a bride for him. As an obedient son should, he went there and got married
. Even after his marriage, this sage remained busy in studying and writing, not bothering about his young wife.’

  ‘That sounds a bit unusual, not bothering about a wife!’ Shrikant made fun of the story.

  ‘No, Shri, it can happen when one is totally focused. When the sage’s mother died, the young bride did not wait for her husband but came on her own to his house. She understood the situation. She used to work outside and get money, cook for her husband and look after him like a mother. This man continued his work. Time passed by and one night, after he had completed the last line of the book, he noticed an old woman sleeping on the floor. He recognized her face but could not remember who she was. He woke her up and asked, “Lady, who are you? When did you come here?” She replied politely that she was his wife and explained that she had been with him for the last forty years, ever since his mother had died.

  ‘The sage was wonderstruck. He could not believe that this woman had done so much for him. He asked her with great respect, “What is your name?”

  ‘“My name is Bhamati.”

  ‘Then he wrote on the first page of the text, “Bhamati”. Till date, the book Bhamati is referred to by many Sanskrit scholars. Bhamati signifies all those women who sacrifice their youth for the betterment of their husbands. Nobody remembers that sage’s name but Bhamati stands out.’

  Shrikant was listening very carefully.

  ‘Shri, whose sacrifice do you find more praiseworthy?’

  Shrikant thought for a minute and said, ‘Of course, both of them, but I feel the single-minded perseverance of the sage, without getting distracted by the worldly pleasures, is praiseworthy.’

  ‘I don’t agree with you, Shri. I think the sacrifice made by Bhamati is unparalleled. She spent her entire youth without asking anything or complaining. His work would not have been completed but for her. More than that, I like something else.’