Picturing Different

by Nikki Kwiatkowski

  “My mother told me a quote the other day and this is what popped in my head,” she admitted, staring at the canvas.

  A large ship was the focal point, positioned just a little more to the left than to the right. The background near the stern of the ship was a dark and stormy sky, with murky waters, whereas at the bow, in the direction the ship was headed, contained a magnificent sunset with a sky full of birds and the clearest and bluest waters. The ship itself still needed a bit more work before it was finished.

  “What did she tell you,” Tripp quickly asked, wanting to know what it was that inspired Ashlyn.

  Ashlyn thought for a moment, making sure she got the wording right. “A ship in a harbor is safe, but that’s not what a ship is built for.”

  When Tripp looked over to Ashlyn, their eyes met, and for a moment, everything felt right. Tripp knew it was just his mind playing tricks on him. Ashlyn needed to talk to him about something, and after earlier events, he couldn’t imagine it would be in his favor.

  Ashlyn looked away. This was going to be so hard. She was horrible with putting her heart and feelings out there. Tripp must have sensed that she was having difficulty getting started.

  “Just say it,” he sighed, stepping away from the easel and into the center of the room, creating a vast amount of space between them.

  “There’s so many things I have to say. I just don’t know where to start,” Ashlyn said. She grabbed at her forehead and shook her head.

  “Look, I don’t want you to be upset or aggravated on your birthday. We can talk another time. I figured that coming might not be a–”

  “You came with my best friend,” Ashlyn blurted out with more emotion than intended.

  “I didn’t exactly have an invitation,” Tripp pointed out. He didn’t want to get angry, and he wouldn’t throw it in Ashlyn’s face, but how could she have not invited him but still had that idiot.

  “They were sent out a long time ago, before…” she paused. She wasn’t sure how to end her statement.

  “Forget it. It’s no big deal.”

  It was. They both knew it was. Ashlyn knew it was a horrible mistake on her part. Just another to add to the list of many, and she had a feeling that in the coming moments that list would only grow.

  Once she expressed her concern, Tripp would know that she felt something for him, and that terrified her.

  “Did you seriously break up with Rachel for Emory,” she blurted out.

  Tripp’s jaw dropped. That was not at all what he was expecting as one of the many things she claimed that she had to say. “What,” was all he could say.

  Ashlyn toyed with her side braid, the shorter pieces on the opposite side already making their way out. “Ugh. I feel so stupid bringing it up. Earlier in the week, Rachel flipped out, calling you a player. She was upset about you breaking up with her and dating someone else.” Ashlyn couldn’t even look at Tripp anymore. Regardless how hurt she was, she wasn’t going to cry. “I just can’t believe that neither of you told me, that I find out on my birthday.”

  “Stop,” Tripp insisted. He didn’t know where to begin with straightening everything out. He walked up to Ashlyn so that they were less than a foot apart, forcing her to look at him. “First of all, I told you that Rachel and I weren’t dating. She’s nuts, and if you believe anything she says, I might be forced to rethink your mental state as well.”

  Ashlyn’s brows clenched and her jaw dropped at the insult.

  “It’s a joke,” Tripp chuckled. He knew that he’d have to be serious. This was obviously a big deal to Ashlyn.

  “What about Emory?”

  “I thought she would have made it clear that we came as friends. However…” He hesitated, thinking carefully about his next words. “I’m glad she didn’t.”

  “Oh yeah, and why is that,” Ashlyn scoffed, annoyed with the situation or lack thereof.

  “Because right now, you’re telling me a lot without saying anything.”

  Ashlyn swallowed heavily, fully aware what Tripp was insinuating. She was just about to change the subject and bring up the camera when his next words hit her like an anvil in one of those old cartoons.

  “What I can’t understand,” he began. His eyes that were often so golden now turned dark. “Why is it that you care so much about who I am or am not dating? Especially after that lovely little show from Eric.”

  “Please don’t. I don’t want to talk about that.” Thinking about what Eric said made her feel sick to her stomach.

  “Why not? Is that why you didn’t invite me, because he would be here? We all know that he can’t control his temper, but I can and–”

  “I didn’t invite him,” Ashlyn coldly interrupted, her stern eyes firing daggers at Tripp. “He showed up, and…”

  When she paused for longer than he would have liked, “And?”

  “He threatened me.” Ashlyn saw a look come across Tripp’s face that frightened her. “Wait. No. Not like that. Ugh. Let me explain.” She took a deep breath and started over. “I asked him to leave. I really did. He said he’d only stay for a bit and if I wanted to argue about it, that he’d cause a scene. So…I just let it be.”

  Tripp ran his hand through his hair. He wanted to scream, but he knew that’s not at all what Ashlyn needed.

  “Then what was that down there?”

  “It’s taken me a long time to come to terms with it, but it’s just another one of his ways to keep me around. He’s never said that before. I guess he thinks–”

  Tripp couldn’t help but interrupting her. “You’ve dated him for two years and he’s never said that?!”

  Ashlyn shook her head, feeling a little embarrassed. “The amount of time is insignificant.” Her mother had told her as much. “It never felt right, but at the same time, being in a relationship with him after a while felt…comfortable.” She left it at that, refraining from pointing out that he wasn’t always like the way he was currently.

  “What about now?”

  “No.” Ashlyn didn’t bother elaborating once she saw the relief in Tripp’s eyes.

  Tripp glanced to Ashlyn’s desk and the jewelry box sitting on top of it.

  Ashlyn saw where his eyes went, and before he could say anything, “I planned to give it back to him, but then I realized that you were waiting on me.”

  A playful glimmer came back to Tripp’s face. “I have a feeling that you didn’t ask to talk to me privately just to talk about Rachel and Emory.”

  Ashlyn quickly took a couple steps forward and wrapped her arms around Tripp. He sucked in his breath in shock and stopped breathing. She was hugging him.

  “Thank you,” she mumbled softly into his chest.

  He brought his hand up to touch the back of her head, but before he could respond to the embrace, she stepped back and swatted at his chest.

  “But what were you thinking?! I can’t accept that.”

  He blinked a few times, letting the last few seconds sink in. Realizing what she was talking about. “Oh, the camera.” He shrugged. “It’s no big deal. I was going to get you one anyway.”

  “Why?”

  He looked at her like she had grown a second head. “Because you needed one.” His words were phrased more like an uncertain question than an actual statement.

  “It was my fault it got broken. It wasn’t your responsibility–”

  “I’m going to stop you right there. It absolutely wasn’t your fault. I also know that I didn’t need to or have to, but I wanted to,” he stressed.

  “It’s too much. You can’t try to buy my affection.”

  Tripp laughed, not his usual chuckle or even like he found something humorous, but a full on deep and hearty laugh. Ashlyn didn’t know how to respond or why that comment was funny.

  He brought himself impossibly close to her. She thought she might pass out from how intoxicating he smelled. It wasn’t until he spoke, and his warm breath danced across her skin that she realized how much she desperately wanted him to kiss her.r />
  “I don’t need to buy your affection, Ash,” he said with a sinister smirk. “And we both know why. I just wish you’d say it.”

  He already had it.

  She had practically made that clear when she asked him about Rachel and Emory.

  Something in that moment made her decide to give him what he wanted.

  “Fine. I might have a small…faint…tiny…crush on you,” she told him, holding back. She couldn’t show all her cards.

  “I’ll take it,” he whispered with a smile. He drew back from her and headed toward the door, allowing whatever moment between them to come to an end. “Let’s get you back to your party.”

  Ashlyn could feel her hands shaking and a tsunami stirring in her stomach. “Wait.”

  Tripp stopped just short of the door and turned back around, realizing that Ashlyn wasn’t right behind him. He couldn’t imagine what else she still wanted to talk about, but she walked toward him with such purpose and certainty.

  She didn’t stop until she was nearly on top of him. She grabbed either side of his collar, and pulled him down toward her, which he willingly allowed.

  Before Tripp could respond to the warm set of lips tightly plastered against his, Ashlyn pulled away, her eyes wide with fear.

  She clasped her hands on her forehead, trying to hide her embarrassment. “I’m so sorry,” she exclaimed. “I don’t know what came over me. That wasn’t me. I’m not that bold and reckless. I don’t know what I was thinking. Can we pretend that didn’t just happen,” she asked, now beginning to ramble.

  Tripp lightly grabbed her wrists and pulled them from her head, forcing her to look up at him. “No.”

  She opened her mouth, no doubt to protest, and Tripp swung her around until she collided into the wall next to the door. He dropped her wrists and placed his hands on either side of her head, and dropped his forehead so that it was nearly touching Ashlyn’s.

  “I want you to be as bold and reckless with me as you want.” His voice was deep and rough, sending chills down Ashlyn’s spine. Then he asked the strangest and sweetest question, sending her back to the first time they kissed. “I want to kiss you so badly, but I don’t want you to think it’s a mistake, so I’m asking you right now, can I?”

  Ashlyn bit her lip and looked into his eyes. He was serious. He was really asking her for permission. Her heart thundered throughout her chest. It was so loud that Tripp had to hear it too. The longer she waited, the more concerned his face became.

  Every second of silence, even though it was only about three before she gave him an answer, felt like eternity to Tripp. When she nodded and softly told him yes, it took every bit of restraint in him to make it deep and meaningful, despite wanting to slam her into the wall like a ravenous barbarian.

  Their lips had barely touched when a soft moan escaped from Ashlyn. Tripp brought one hand to her cheek, his thumb gently caressing her before moving his hand to the back of her neck and pulling her into him. His other hand found its way to her waist and around to the small of her back.

  Her hands went to the back of his neck just as her lips parted. Tripp couldn’t stop the growl that came from deep inside when their tongues touched and began fighting for dominance like they were fighting for air.

  She tasted like sweet icing and smelled like a field of flowers. It was invigorating and as her body continued to melt perfectly into his, only one word came to mind. More.

  Ashlyn didn’t know what had come over either one of them. She also didn’t know just how much she both needed and wanted this kiss. She felt like she was floating on air with clouds beneath her feet. She tried to gain her footing and only then realized that Tripp was holding her up with a single arm. The kiss was nothing short of pure magic.

  Tripp eventually placed her down, though she could barely stand with how weak her knees felt from the kiss. They slightly broke contact, untangling themselves from the mess of passion and hormones they had become. Tripp placed his forehead against Ashlyn’s, both of them breathing heavily onto the other.

  “Wow,” he managed, partly because he was breathless, partly because there weren’t words to describe what just happened.

  At that moment, looking so closely into his eyes, Ashlyn saw it. Though she was terrified of something new and different, Tripp was the beautiful adventure in front of her.

  Tripp pulled away like someone threw boiling water on him and Ashlyn shook with fear at the banging on the door next to them. Then an all too familiar voice came through.

  “Hey, Ash. Can we talk?”

  Chapter 22

  Ashlyn stepped outside her room, quickly closing the door behind her.

  “Uh, maybe we can go inside,” Eric suggested.

  Ashlyn held on tightly to the handle behind her back. There was absolutely nothing that he could say that would make her let him in her room. If he saw who was in there, Tripp was dead.

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  Eric ran a hand across Ashlyn’s cheek, and she couldn’t help but flinch a little.

  “Five minutes? Just to talk?”

  “I have some paintings in there. I wanted to keep them a surprise until the art show,” Ashlyn only partially lied.

  Eric rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. “Seriously? Nobody cares about your stupid paintings. It’s not like I’m going to steal your idea,” he scoffed.

  Ashlyn didn’t want to have a conversation with Eric. All he did was ruin her birthday ever since he showed up.

  “Fine, whatever. We can talk here.”

  Ashlyn stayed quiet. She could see Eric’s cool and calm demeanor changing into irritation and anger.

  “How could you do that down there?”

  “What are you talking about,” Ashlyn asked, although she already knew.

  “I gave you that awesome gift and I told you all that crap and you didn’t say anything back! You even allowed your stupid friend to come up and throw me to the side.”

  “You know I can’t control her,” Ashlyn began. She tried her best to skirt around the first part of what he said.

  “You could have at least said it back!”

  “I think we need to talk,” Ashlyn said slowly and carefully.

  “Duh, Ash! That’s what we’re doing.”

  Ashlyn knew once she said what she was about to, Eric would explode. Remembering the necklace, she quickly excused herself and darted back in her room, locking the door behind her. She ignored Tripp’s presence and rushed to her desk to grab the tiny box.

  On her way back to the door, Tripp stepped in front of her and mouthed the words, “Are you okay?” Ashlyn nodded and tried to put on her best smile and hope that Tripp couldn’t see how nervous she was.

  She waited for him to take several steps from the door until she went back out.

  “What was that about,” Eric immediately asked.

  Ashlyn held out the box he had given her. “I need to give this back.”

  He narrowed his eyes and took a step forward. “And why is that?”

  Ashlyn took a deep breath and made herself look him in the eyes. There were so many times over the last two years that she should have tried to end things, but she had never broken up with a boy, and Eric seemed to be the only one who had ever showed any interest in her. She thought that had to mean something.

  “I don’t want just a break. I want to break up. For good.” Her words were rushed, but Eric heard them loud and clear.

  “Why,” he growled.

  She had thought for days about how the conversation would go, and she was prepared for the why. “Because you’re not the same person you were when we started dating. You get kicked out of school. You broke my camera. You never say anything nice to me. You–”

  “I just told you that I loved you,” Eric screamed.

  Ashlyn shook her head and gathered her thoughts. “You didn’t mean it. You and I both know you didn’t.”

  “Is this because your friends are all in your head? I know Emory
hates me and hates you with me.”

  “No. It’s that they don’t like how you treat me, but this has nothing to do with them. This has to do with me.”

  Eric took a step forward and Ashlyn pressed her back to the door. For once, she was definitely scared of him.

  “Is there someone else?”

  Ashlyn could feel her eyes widen and she tried to hide any telling reaction. “No. I just can’t go through the ups and downs with you anymore. This has nothing to do with anyone else.”

  “Good,” he said with a sinister grin spreading across his face. “I like to hear that.” Before Ashlyn could ask him what he meant by that, he snatched the box from her hand. “See you around.”

  Ashlyn felt the oxygen return as soon as Eric began to descend the stairs. Something about that interaction didn’t feel right. Breaking up with him felt like a weight had been lifted from her, but there was something else. She couldn’t quite place it; however, the knots in her stomach told her that it couldn’t be that easy.

  ✽ ✽ ✽

  Ellis’ screams later confirmed to Ashlyn that Eric was not going to take the breakup well.

  She waited until a tow truck took Ellis and Emory’s car and they, along with Deacon, got a ride home with Tripp. Then, before she even looked through her presents, she text Eric.

  Ashlyn: Really? You slashed all the tires on Ellis and Emory’s car?

  Eric: I have no idea what you’re talking about.

  She knew he wouldn’t admit to it on text; after all, her dad was a lawyer.

  Say it, forget it. Write it, regret it.

  Ashlyn: They share that car! I thought Ellis was your friend.

  Eric: First of all, stop accusing me. Secondly, none of them are my friends.

  Ashlyn wasn’t going to bother responding to him after that. She was certain he did it. Once she told Emory about their conversation outside her room, Emory was even more certain.

  Ashlyn’s heart thundered in her chest when Eric didn’t leave it at that, and another message came in.