The Fifty-Seven Lives of Alex Wayfare

by MG Buehrlen

  I close my eyes and try to find my way back to Blue.

  Nick.

  I picture the alley, Loogie’s thin, stretched lips, Nick’s blue-green eyes, the feel of the broken milk bottle in my hand. I summon all the sights, smells, and sensations and try to bring on déjà vu, but it doesn’t work. I’m still sitting in the garage beneath Tabitha’s number.

  I stand and go through the motions of the fight. I can feel the grubby hands of the thugs on me. I kick and spin and slice and punch until I’m sweaty, not even caring if I bring on an asthma attack. But when I open my eyes, I’m still in the garage. The pigeons are staring at me. And I feel like a complete idiot.

  My knees meet the floor. I pull my sleeves over my palms and swipe at the beginnings of tears. I close my eyes and hide in the darkness of my sleeves, sniffling. There’s only ever been one thing I’ve seriously prayed for on my own, and the weaker Audrey gets, the more I wonder if God even gives a damn about my prayers. But praying is my last resort. I don’t know what else to do.

  Please send me back. I have to know what happened to Blue. I have to know if he’s all right. If it was real, if there was any truth to my vision at all, send me back. Please.

  I lower my forehead to the cool concrete. It smells like motor oil. I squeeze my eyelids tight until spots dance before me, almost as if that will make my prayer more powerful. I remain there, bowed down, tears welling, until my aching body demands relief.

  At last I sit up and open my eyes to garage and graffiti. More tears blur my vision. Vibrant colors and jagged shapes swim together.

  “I’m not going back,” I whisper to the pigeons.

  I heave my backpack over my shoulder and trudge toward the garage door. Once home, I’ll search for Nick’s name online. I’ll find out if October 21, 1927 really was a Friday. I’ll look up the Cafferelli Brothers. I won’t stop looking for answers.

  A breeze kicks up outside and swirls in through the broken windows smelling of fish and chips from the restaurant across the street. An old, weathered yellow flyer taped to the graffitied wall across from me lifts and rattles in the gust then settles again. I glance at the two bold words printed across the top.

  I gasp.

  RISTORANTE CAFFERELLI

  I rip the flyer from the wall. It’s an advertisement for an Italian place in the historic district. But it’s not just the name that takes me by surprise. It’s what’s written in black Sharpie underneath.

  Alex,

  If you’re looking for answers, I’ve got a few. Come have a chat with me. I’ll be the old codger in the Orioles cap, eating a cannoli. (They have really good cannoli here.)

  Porter

  IN WHICH I MEET SOMEONE EVEN MORE CRAZY THAN ME

  I step off the city bus downtown and hitch my backpack higher on my shoulder. I haven’t been to the historic district in a while, and I realize how much I miss the cute folksy shops all decked out for Halloween. The smell of cinnamon and cloves from a candle shop mingles with the briny sea air. A dozen seagulls squawk at me and half hop, half fly out of my way as I cut across a drugstore parking lot.

  I’m not sure what I’m doing, following a cryptic flyer to meet some old guy I don’t know. I know a hundred different ways this meeting could take a turn for the worse, but then again, I don’t think anything could be as scary or dangerous as what I’ve just gone through in my vision. And putting myself in that situation was involuntary.

  Still, I wish I had Dad’s pepper spray.

  Ristorante Cafferelli is quaint and bright, with a wall of windows overlooking the Bay. Murals of grape-studded vineyards cover stuccoed walls, and red and white checkered tablecloths drape over small square tables. The scent of fresh baked bread and sautéed garlic wafts out from the kitchen.

  I spot the worn, orange Orioles cap right away. The man called Porter sits over by the windows, blowing steam from a wide mug of coffee he holds in both hands. He looks to be in his sixties – late sixties? – but fit for his age with only a few wrinkles. He wears jeans, a faded black polo, and slip-on boat shoes. White stubble dots his cheeks and chin, and a bit of short white hair peeks out from underneath his cap around his ears. He’s the only customer in the place.

  I walk right up to him despite every instinct telling me not to. I guess my need for answers, whatever they may be, outweighs all the lectures Dad gave me as a child.

  “Are you Porter?”

  He looks up, a little startled at first. Then he clears his throat and sets his mug down. “I am.”

  “I’m Alex.”

  He leans back in his chair and folds his hands on the table. “Of course you are.” He pauses, staring at me. “How did you know how to find me?”

  I drop the flyer in front of him and point at it. “Didn’t you write that?”

  He leans forward to look, then a small, knowing smile breaks across his lips. “Not yet. But I guess I will. Soon.”

  Not yet? My brow crinkles. “How did you know I’d be at Johnson’s Auto Garage? Do I know you?”

  “Mmm,” he says with a slight nod, looking down at his mug. He turns it slowly around in his hands. “But it’s been a very long time since we last spoke.”

  He looks up at me then, and I feel that same nostalgia tugging at me like needle and thread. The same feeling I got when Blue looked me in the eye. There’s something about this man I recognize. Something in the way his laugh lines surround his sad, watery eyes, or the way he looks so very tired and yet so very alive. But the memory is too transparent to grasp in full.

  It hurts my head too much to think about it.

  He gestures to the seat across from him. “Why don’t you sit down? I suppose you came for answers, like the flyer reads, and that’s what I’ll give you. If you want them.”

  I sit only because I feel like I know him from somewhere, even if the memory is a wisp of candle smoke. It’s not like I’m not scared, because I am. Mostly because I can’t remember if the memories I have of him are good or bad. All I know is they’re there, somewhere. Eluding me. Just like everything else having to do with the visions.

  Porter watches me with kind eyes and a smile that almost seems paternal. It’s the same look I’ve seen on Pops’ face when I catch him watching me from across the dinner table. The silent pride of a grandfather.

  “You look good,” Porter says. “All grown up.” He adds that part like it’s some kind of inside joke.

  I don’t get it.

  “Let me buy you a drink,” he says. He flags down a dark-haired waitress. “Is Chianti still your favorite?”

  I wrinkle my nose. “I’m seventeen.”

  He laughs. “True. And you may not like it in this body anyway. The taste buds are always different.”

  The waitress approaches, and Porter orders me a cappuccino. I don’t object, even though I don’t like coffee. I’m too curious about what he means by in this body.

  “What would you like to know first?” He speaks and moves like a gentleman straight out of the classic films I watch with Mom and Gran, very formal and proper, although he doesn’t exactly look like one in his jeans and ball cap. His clothes look out of place, almost like he’s wearing a disguise.

  I think about his question for a moment, pulling the sleeves of my army-green parka over my wrists and gripping them under the table. I have no idea where to begin, and I’m cautious about saying too much at first. I’m still not convinced the flyer was meant for me.

  The waitress sets the cappuccino in front of me. The foam is swirled into a peace symbol on top.

  Porter slides his half-eaten cannoli toward me. “They really do have the best cannoli in town.” He nods at it, insisting I finish it. But I’m too nervous to think about food.

  “Why don’t I talk and you eat?” he says, nudging the cannoli again. “Perhaps I’ll start with the visions. I assume they are why you’re here, yes?”

  I sit up at attention. “How do you know about the visions?”

  “You’ve always had them. And the
dried blood in your hair was a tip off. You’ve just come back from one, haven’t you?”

  My hand flies to the knot on the back of my head, the surprise clear on my face.

  “I’m sorry you got hurt,” he says. “It can be such a dangerous journey, no matter how old you are or how much experience you have.”

  I don’t even try to figure out what that means. “What are they?” I say. “The visions?” The words tumble out, my voice sounding like gravel.

  “They’re a side effect. Of your ability. No other Descender has them, though. Only you.”

  “Descender?”

  “A Descender is someone who descends to the past. That is your ability.”

  “You mean, by imagining it? Someone who can visualize the past in their mind?”

  “No. I mean someone who can travel to the past by means of their soul.”

  I let out a puff of air. “What, like time travel?”

  “You say it like it’s science fiction, and yet you’ve known they weren’t just visions for years now, haven’t you?” He leans forward, his pale eyes locked on mine. “You’ve known on some level ever since Jamestown.”

  My mouth drops. “How did you know about Jamestown?” I place my fists on the checkered tablecloth. “Have you been talking to Dr Farrow? Is this one of her tests?”

  “Doctor who?”

  “The idiotic psychiatrist from AIDA who thinks I have schizophrenia.”

  “Ah, yes. The one you spilled all your secrets to.” He cocks a white eyebrow at me. “You were supposed to come to me when you were ready for answers, you know, not some doctor. And by all means not someone who works for AIDA.”

  “How was I supposed to know that? I don’t even know you.”

  Porter waves a hand like it’s no big deal. “Doesn’t matter now. I’ve taken care of it. No harm done. I just wish you would’ve paid attention to the signs. I thought you’d be smarter than that.”

  “What signs?”

  His brow knits together again, and he gives me the same look most people give Audrey when they find out she has cancer.

  Pity.

  “I suppose you didn’t know what they were,” he says. “Your memory issues must still persist, despite your IQ. I guess I underestimated your defect. It really is quite severe, as far as Descenders go.”

  I heave a sigh. I’m getting tired of his riddles and nonsense. “I didn’t come here to be reminded of how much of a freak I am. I get enough of that at school. So if you don’t have any answers for me…” I grab my backpack to leave.

  “Oh, no, Alex, I’m sorry.” He stretches a hand toward me, and I pause when I hear the sincerity in his voice. “I didn’t mean to offend you. I’m going too fast, and I realize I’m not making much sense. I don’t blame you for wanting to leave.” He lowers his hand and his voice softens. “I must have practiced what I’d say to you a thousand times, and here I am getting it all wrong. I apologize, truly. What do you say I start over? From the beginning?”

  I frown and drop my backpack at my feet. Waiting.

  It’s not like I would’ve left anyway. I don’t know if I could walk away from this guy now, even if he is frustrating. He’s the first person to give me answers that line up with what I already believe – that my visions aren’t hallucinations. He’s the first person to give me validation, no matter how confusing he’s been so far. And if he knows about the visions, then he might know how I can get back to Blue.

  “What do you know about the AIDA Institute?” he asks.

  I sigh through my nose. It’s the same sassy sigh Mom grounds me for when I use it on her. “What everyone knows. They’re the biggest cancer research institute in the world.”

  “Right. But cancer research isn’t all they do.”

  “I know. They have tons of different divisions. They’re like an organization of superheroes – the best doctors, researchers, scientists, archeologists – all working to find cures, end world hunger, create a better environment. They’re ‘saving the world, one person at a time.’” I add that last part, recalling AIDA’s popular slogan I’ve heard hundreds of times, but I say it with a bit of a bite to it. “I should know. My parents are two of those heroes. They joined the AIDA Corps when they were in college. They’ve been working for AIDA ever since.”

  “I know. That’s why I chose them.” When I look at Porter like he’s crazy for what feels like the millionth time, he says, “Give me ten minutes. If I haven’t answered all your questions by then, you can go. And you’ll never see me again in this lifetime. I promise.”

  CHAPTER 7

  ANSWERS. SORT OF.

  Porter folds and unfolds his hands on the table. His forearms are covered in freckles and thick white hair. He rubs the pinky knuckle of one hand with the thumb of his other.

  I take a sip of my cappuccino, but it’s gone cold.

  It tastes just as disgusting as I remember.

  Porter takes a deep breath, then begins. “AIDA was founded in the Sixties. Do you know who the founders were?”

  I think back to my recent meeting with Dr Farrow, to the portrait of Durham Gesh hanging on her office wall, with those eyes, condescending and cold. I pull my sleeves down over my wrists again. “I thought there was only one founder. Durham Gesh. His portrait’s everywhere at AIDA Headquarters. I’ve seen it a hundred times. He’s famous. Everyone loves him. They talk about him like he’s a saint. Supposedly he saved thousands of lives or something back in the day.”

  “That’s right,” Porter says. “Durham Gesh was one of the founders. Some would say he is the only founder. He was the face of the Institute. He did all the socializing and networking and schmoozing. But there were two founders of AIDA. Two very brilliant, very ambitious scientists. One was Gesh, the other was Iver Flemming.”

  “Never heard of him.”

  “That’s not surprising. He was a quiet man who kept to himself, content to work in the background and stay out of the spotlight. Very few people know of his involvement with AIDA. He was always like that, even when Gesh met him at a private primary school in Denmark. Gesh was the charismatic, outgoing one, while Flemming was the studious one holed up in his dormitory with his nose in a book. But they had similar interests, similar IQs, so they became friends and remained friends all throughout medical school. Shortly after they graduated, they founded an organization devoted to the cure of cancer and other terminal illnesses. They were visionaries. Luminaries. Throughout the next twenty years, they cured countless diseases, even a few cancers, which attracted the attention of the media and philanthropists. People came from all around to be treated at AIDA. Everyone believed they were geniuses. There was no other explanation for their success rate. And they were geniuses. But there was more to it than that. They had an upper hand. A secret weapon no one else knew about. They could travel back in time.”

  “You mean they had visions? Like me?” I push my glasses up my nose and lean forward. I rest my elbows on the table.

  “No, no visions. Only you have those. But they could descend to any time period they wished, just like you can. They used their ability to their ultimate advantage. They could go back and save invaluable research that had been lost or destroyed. They could talk to other scientists and medicine men and gain their ancient knowledge. They could move floppy disks, documents, even ancient scrolls to secret locations, then come back to retrieve them when they returned to the present time. Sort of like a time capsule. They gained knowledge no other scientist or doctor had access to, and they healed thousands by forging new roads in medicine. Can you see how that ability could be used to save the world?”

  Theoretically, yes, I can see it. The idea of traveling back in time to recover knowledge that had been lost sends shivers through me. All the information lost during the Dark Ages could be restored. All the mysteries throughout history could be explained. Ancient treasures uncovered. The reason for the disappearance of certain civilizations revealed.

  Maybe even the information Mom needs to perfect
Audrey’s cure could be handed to her on a silver platter.

  But the logic is still fuzzy. “How did they travel?”

  “By accessing Limbo.”

  “Limbo? Like Dante’s Limbo?”

  Porter’s eyes light up like he’s impressed. “Exactly, yes. The Isle of the Blessed. Elysium. Abraham’s Bosom. Barzakh. They’re all referring to the same place. Everyone passes through Limbo on their way to Afterlife when they die, but only a few can access Limbo while still alive. Gesh discovered how to do it as a child. He later taught Flemming.” He levels his eyes at me. “And then he taught you.”

  A chill washes over me. Goosebumps rise and salute on the back of my arms. “How could he have taught me? I’ve never met him before in my life.”

  “You have. You just don’t remember.”

  I narrow my eyes at Porter. “Right. Like I don’t remember meeting you?”

  “Yes. Exactly.”

  I stare at him for a moment longer, but he doesn’t elaborate. I want to know what he means, but there’s something else I want to know about even more. “Is Limbo the ‘black’?” I ask, recalling the deep darkness that envelopes me before my visions.

  “Yes, the black is part of it. But there is so much more to it than that.” He tilts his head to the side. “Have you figured out how to access Limbo on your own yet?”

  I frown down at my cold cappuccino. “No. I just get yanked into the black randomly, whether I want to or not.”

  “So you haven’t figured out what triggers the pull?”

  I look up at him. Was there a trigger? “I used to think it was déjà vu, but I disproved that theory a long time ago.”

  Porter cracks the smallest grin at the corner of his mouth. He reaches into his jeans pocket, pulls something out, and sets it on the table between us. It’s a pure white stone the size of a quarter, smooth and round, shaped like an M&M. “Do you know what this is?”

  “It’s a game piece,” I blurt out without thinking. Then, once I realize what I said, I cover my mouth with my hands. It wasn’t a guess. I know it’s a game piece, but I’ve never seen one like it in my life. Not even in my visions.