Lavender Fields

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by Natalina Reis


  Caleb joined me, laughing softly. “Are you ever going to serve that coffee, girl?” Joan stuck her tongue out at him and poured a cup. “Joan makes the best coffee in town.” I spied a little smile on her lips as she handed me the steaming cup. “And she’s a great judge of character.” She was smiling in earnest by that point, and I couldn’t help but smile along.

  Joan looked at me and winked. “In spite of being an old crank most of the time, my brother can be quite charming.”

  My breath caught in my throat watching Caleb’s odd eyes light up at her words. There was such love there. I wanted to be the recipient of some of it and I couldn’t be. Not anymore.

  My eyes prickled and burned. “I shouldn’t bother you any longer.” My absence would be noticed if I stayed away too long, and as much as I didn’t want to give up on Caleb, what good would lingering do, painfully realizing he didn’t remember me any more than he remembered Gabriel? “I should go.”

  Caleb stood up. “No, please. Stay for dinner.” It was just a polite invitation, I knew, but it still made my heart sing. I was tempted. Very tempted. Can I get away with another hour or so? “Something sent you to our door. I don’t like to piss off fate.”

  Joan chimed in. “Yeah, he only likes pissing me off.” She was rewarded with a swat from her brother’s hand. “But he’s right. Stay for dinner. I have pizza in the oven.” Her voice took on a singsong tone, and I was inexplicably lulled into a sense of peace.

  “Okay, I’ll stay.” I didn’t even realize I was going to say it until the words were out of my mouth. But I did want to stay. As unwise as it may be, I needed this. “Very kind of you to ask.”

  I must’ve had a stupid smile on my face because Joan giggled. “Why so formal? You’re not any older than my brother.”

  If only she knew how old I really was. I smiled at her, stealing a glance at Caleb, who seemed perfectly content sitting and watching his baby sister.

  We ate around the small round table in the kitchen. Joan had a voracious appetite for someone so small, and I made a special effort not to eat more than one slice in case she needed more. Not that angels actually have to eat, but over the years I came to appreciate the flavor and pleasure of eating good human food. I was particularly partial to baked desserts. Since angels don’t absorb calories, I could eat my weight in sugar and never put on a pound. Small perk of being an angelic creature.

  While I was taking a gulp out of the gigantic glass of Coke Caleb had set in front of me, I noticed Joan watching me between bites, a funny expression on her face. “You do look terribly familiar,” she said, a big chunk of pepperoni hanging from the corner of her mouth. “Not sure where I met you before, but I’m pretty sure I did.”

  That startled me. I was certain I had never met the little elf. “Don’t think we’ve met.” I have met your brother though. I bit my tongue so as not to let my thoughts out. “I just have that kind of face.”

  “What kind? The drop-dead-gorgeous kind that no one in their right mind would ever forget?” I choked on my drink, and I heard Caleb laugh. “Come on, guys, let’s be serious. Mr. Heavensent here is a hottie. Ask him out, Caleb, won’t you? If you don’t, I just might.”

  My face and neck were taken by a growing burning heat. I coughed a little, avoiding Caleb’s eyes.

  “You’re not old enough to date someone our age.” It was Caleb’s voice, still laughing under his breath. “You’re barely eighteen, and Sky here is at least twenty-five.”

  “Then you do it.” They seemed to have forgotten I was in the room, listening to every word. “God knows you haven’t dated in ages. I don’t need a fucking babysitter anymore. You can go out and enjoy your life now.”

  Caleb’s eyes narrowed and he stopped laughing. “Young lady, I’ve warned you about the cursing.” His voice had taken on a fatherly role, and I wondered where the real parents were. “I taught you better.”

  The young woman rolled her eyes again—what’s with teenagers and eye rolling?—and crossed her arms in front of her. “All right then. I don’t need a freaking babysitter anymore, and you can freaking date again. Is that better?”

  From the corner of my eye, I noticed Caleb wasn’t really angry at her. There was an amused little smile dancing in the corner of his lips. He didn’t say anything for a few moments, as if pondering what to do next, but I expect he was only trying not to burst out laughing. “Who’s up for some ice cream?”

  Joan’s eyes lit up like a child. “Yay! Sweetums?”

  “Sure. Go get your coat.” I had no idea what Sweetums was, but I was guessing it was an ice cream place. We were left alone in the room while the girl went to fetch a coat she really didn’t need in the mild, end-of-summer evening. “You’ll join us, right?” His voice, soft and sweet as honey, caressed my senses and a pleasant shiver ran through me. Boy, Gabriel’s wrath couldn’t stop me! “I’m glad you knocked at my door tonight. I haven’t seen Joan so excited about anything in a while.”

  My heart fell. Joan? Not you?

  “Are you coming or what?” Joan was already by the door, slipping her thin arms through the sleeves of a light jacket.

  “We better go before she gets mad.”

  Caleb took a few steps toward me and closed his hand over my shoulder, prodding me in the direction of the door. An earthquake shook my whole being. If I were to guess, most likely an eight-point-five at least, with shock waves so strong it pushed my blood to the surface of my skin in a tidal wave of heat. He stopped suddenly as if he had felt it too, but it lasted only a few seconds. Maybe it was just my wishful thinking. “Let’s go.” Is it my imagination or did his voice come out ever so slightly choked?

  Sweetums was just around the corner from their house, a happening place for the sleepy little town with people lining up outside the door. “You should try the lobster tracks flavor. It’s awesome!” Lobster in ice cream? Really? Well, nobody could accuse me of not trying new things. I nodded with cautious enthusiasm, afraid of disappointing her if it turned out I didn’t like it.

  Caleb burst out laughing. “You should see your face, Sky. There is no lobster in lobster tracks ice cream. The lobster bits are just chocolate chunks tinted red to look like lobster.”

  Ah, that sounded a lot more appetizing. I loved the way Caleb’s eyes crinkled at the corners when he laughed.

  After getting our cones of generous servings of ice cream, we walked along the sidewalk, heading to the banks of Sheepscot River at a leisurely pace. We sat on a wooden bench by the pier and talked in hushed voices as if afraid to wake up the sleeping fauna. It felt right, as if we had been doing it for a long time. I suppose that was how it felt to have a family. To belong.

  Too soon our ice cream was gone, and I had to once again face the fact that I must leave. Little Joan gave me a mighty hug and then sauntered away, blatantly leaving her brother alone with me. Caleb wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and stared at the ground as if searching for words. Did he feel the magnetic attraction from that beach two weeks before? Did he feel anything at all besides the awkwardness of being alone with someone his sister seemed hell-bent on matching him with?

  I went first. “Thank you for a wonderful evening, Caleb. Your sister is awesome and—”

  His hand shot out from his side and wrapped around mine. “Sorry I can’t remember you, Sky.” His eyes shone in the moonlight, and my skin prickled under his touch. “But it was an amazing evening. I would like to see you again.” My heart quivered. “And so would Joan.” He dropped his hand and I felt empty.

  “I have a very tight schedule.” It was true. I was also forbidden to leave Arcadia until further notice. “But I’ll figure out a time to visit again. It’ll be in the evening after work. Is that okay?”

  I was so distracted by my need to pull him into my arms that I almost flew. Catching myself right before my wings began unfurling, I waved goodbye to both of them, then jogged off the pier and away from them as quickly as my legs could carry me. My eyes burned with unshed tears
, and my heart was about to burst. He didn’t remember me at all.

  ____________

  DOLDRUMS

  “No, no, no!” Cranky Amy’s strident voice pierced my ears just as effectively as if she had stuck a needle in them. “Heavens above, Sky. You just can’t seem to do anything right.” I mumbled a stream of curses under my breath before looking up at her and smiling angelically. “And don’t think that idiotic smile will work on me.” She slammed a pile of folders on my desk and a big puff of old paper dust billowed into the air, making me cough. “Do these again. And do them right this time.”

  As she walked away, I fought the instinct to stick my tongue out at her. A bit childish maybe, but giving her the finger wasn’t exactly proper for an angel. I stared at the pile of files she wanted me to go over again and sighed. I would’ve bet my life that she messed them up on purpose just to give me something boring to do. My memory was excellent and nowhere in it was the memory of me screwing up those old, musty files.

  My eyes roamed to the window and the view of the Edge with longing. I wish I could be flying, pummeling down like an out-of-control aircraft, the wind shear making my body shake and my eyes burn. Instead, I was sitting at that desk shuffling through meaningless papers.

  I focused ahead, as I was going to sneak down to Earth again to visit Caleb and his sister. The mere idea of seeing the one who filled my dreams and every waking thought made me happier than a puppy with a tennis ball. I had been visiting them almost every night for the past couple weeks, and those moments gave me a reason to endure the monotony of my days and look forward to my nights. Gabriel would have my feathers if he got wind of the time I was spending with the one he had so unfairly wiped of all memories of me. We were building new ones—or so I hoped.

  My heart soared higher than my wings ever could when I spent time with Caleb. He still had absolutely no recollection of me but, however small, there was something growing between us. I lost my heart to him the first time I saw him, but I could feel—or maybe it was just wishful thinking—something tender developing between us.

  I always fell too hard, too soon, and too deep in love. It was who I was. My mother used to say that I may have been born with a defective love gland, or maybe a hyperactive one considering other angels didn’t seem to have that problem. I had fallen helplessly in love with Cloud, a tiny guardian angel who made the mistake of paying attention to me when I was still a fledgling. She had been so tired of my devotion that she quit the Guardians and joined an obscure corps with headquarters a few Heavens above mine and lived in absolute isolation. Later I attached myself, heart and soul, to a fierce angel of mercy who wasn’t merciful enough to cut me off before I went in too deep. My heart seemed to have a very active imagination, if that were even possible. One smile, one kind word, and I was hooked.

  With Caleb it felt very different though. Yes, I had once again fallen too fast and too deep for someone I barely knew, but instead of the typical anxiety-inducing pangs and yearnings, every time I laid eyes on him an overflowing sense of peace filled me.

  So far we had gone out for lobster in the harbor, walked along the river at twilight, had coffee and warm bread at the local bakery, and hid in the sunken garden chuckling like little boys while Joan cursed her way through the streets of Wiscasset looking for us. Being with him was easy and carefree. Barring the fact that I kept my true identity secret from him, I could be myself around him. No pretenses, no games. Caleb seemed to enjoy my company in spite—or even because—of my quirkiness and penchant for blunder. With him, I could leave my ‘liability’ status and even my position in the Angelic Corps behind and be simply Sky.

  “Are you finished yet?” Cranky Amy was back, her chubby cheeks puffed up in annoyance. The image of a puffer fish came to my mind and I laughed. She wasn’t happy. “What are you laughing about? There’s nothing funny about being lazy. You sit there all day, your mind a thousand miles away and with idle fingers.”

  The files were actually done. I wasn’t the total nincompoop she made me out to be. The work may be boring, but it wasn’t complicated. I handed the files to her with a smirk on my face.

  “Are you sure these are done properly?” A little shiver of pleasure went through me at her look of disappointment. “Gabriel’s going to flip if you messed them up again.”

  “They’re done correctly.” As long as you don’t mess them up again. I held my tongue. Even though she was only an assistant, she had the ear of the archangel. And his trust. Amy worshiped the air Gabriel floated on and would do just about anything for him. He knew it and rewarded her with his trust. Their whole relationship reeked of nepotism and made me sick. “Gabriel will be pleased.”

  Reluctantly and with a little huff, she took the files and skittered away toward the stairs. I sighed and looked at my watch. It was almost time to leave. If I play it right, I can start cleaning up right now and be done by the end of my shift. I covertly looked around me and noticed I wasn’t the only one with that idea; several other angels at nearby desks were already packing up their belongings, storing materials in drawers and cabinets.

  My mind was racing way ahead of me. I would rush home, preen my wings a bit, and then as soon as the sunlight began to fade, I would fall off the Edge and fly down to what was quickly becoming my favorite place in the universe. I couldn’t wait.

  When the trumpets of the herald angels rang announcing the end of the workday, my heart was ready to burst with excitement. I jumped off my chair and ran to the door, forgetting all pretense of calm or decorum. Just as I was about to cross the threshold, I heard my name called.

  It was Gabriel. What could he possibly want? I turned around slowly, careful not to show the irritation I was feeling inside. “Yes, Gabriel?”

  He stood on the bottom step of the staircase, looking his usual sour self, his lips pursed and arms crossed over his chest. “I need you to run an errand for me.”

  “But Gabriel, it’s time to go home.” I probably sounded like a whiny child.

  “You can do this on your way home.” He stepped forward in my direction and handed me a piece of paper. “It’s not like you have a social life anyway.” True. I didn’t. Not until Caleb. “I need you to stop at the flower shop and order a dozen seraphic roses to be delivered to this address by tomorrow afternoon. Make sure they are of the best quality.”

  Who’s he trying to impress? Is he up for some kind of promotion and wants to woo whoever’s in charge of hiring? A business prospect? I really didn’t care, but it was annoying that he would delay me like that.

  “Well, go! The shop will be closed in half an hour.”

  I wanted to ask him why he didn’t do it himself, but I held my tongue. The shop was on my way home, and it would be just a few minutes extra. No point in getting on Gabriel’s wrong side again. I took the paper and ran off.

  The store was packed, of course. I waited in line for a good twenty minutes while the female angel in front of me took her sweet time deciding whether to order white lilacs or gardenias for her six-hundred-and-fiftieth birthday party. My thoughts were unworthy of an angel as I tapped my fingers on my arms, waiting for my chance to order. After what felt like an eternity, which said quite a lot for an angel, I was finally able to order the seraphic roses—“Purple or pink? I don’t care, just make it quick”—and leave. Dusk was already staining the horizon and the Earth below me.

  Anxious to get to Caleb’s side and afraid that I may be too late, I flew even faster than my usual crazy speed and landed with a thump right behind their house. A cloud of dirt flew up into the air around me, and I spent the next five minutes dusting myself off.

  Joan came to the door and hugged me as if she had known me her whole life. “Come on in. Maybe you can drill some sense into my unreasonable brother.” Uh-oh. What have I dropped into?

  Caleb was sitting at the kitchen table, pouring over what looked like bills, his reading glasses sliding down his nose and his teeth clamped over his upper lip. I licked my lips remember
ing how good his tasted and then, feeling guilty, moved my eyes away from Caleb’s delicious mouth and to Joan’s very angry eyes. The young woman was standing a couple feet away from me, arms crossed and her foot tapping angrily on the tiled floor.

  “Can you tell my impossible brother that I have to go on this trip?” Joan said, surprising me off my thoughts. “My social life is hanging in the balance. If I don’t go on this trip, I’ll be forever marked as an outcast in my school.”

  Caleb looked up, noticing me for the first time, and smiled. “Don’t be so dramatic. There are a lot of kids who aren’t going.” With his forefinger, he made a little circle in the air by his temple. “You’ll survive. Trust me.”

  “I’ll never be invited to any parties anymore, and my chances of meeting a suitable prom date will be destroyed.” Joan didn’t give up easily. I learned that very quickly.

  “For God’s sake, Joan. We can’t afford it right now.” Caleb sighed deeply and wiped a hand over his face. “I have too many bills to pay.”

  “What if I get a job? I hear Sweetums is hiring. What do you think, Sky? Shouldn’t he stop being such an old cheapo and let me go?”

  Stuck between a rock and a hard place, I blinked. What was I supposed to say? Conflict mediation was not my field of expertise. On one hand, I didn’t want to displease Caleb, but I also didn’t want to deal with Joan’s wrath. She was young and tiny, but she could be fierce. “How much is it?” Not what they were expecting to hear, I’m sure.

  “It’ll cost only five hundred dollars and includes stay and food. It’s dirt cheap.”

  I almost laughed; Joan sounded so convincing.

  Caleb chuckled. “Only five hundred. I don’t know what I was thinking. I know, I won’t pay the electric bill. After all, we can go without heat and light for another month or so.” The sarcasm in his voice was so thick I could almost see it.

  Angels have money. It never occurred to me to ask where it came from, but the fact remained that we did have money available to us. We weren’t paid a salary, but we used money to buy food and drinks, sometimes clothes and other things. When we were running out of money, we went to the Angelic Tender Machine—aka ATM—and withdrew whatever amount we needed, never more or less.

 

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