Lavender Fields

by Natalina Reis

  “My God, Sky. Your wings.” Caleb’s voice, even panicked, was a balm for my soul. “What did they do to you?”

  I lifted a bloodstained hand and blindly sought his. He met me halfway and held on for dear life. “Caleb, you’re in danger. Leave now.” I wanted him to be there and also to be gone, away to safety, away from that monster.

  I felt the softness of his lips on my knuckles. “It’s okay. Gabriel is taking care of things. We’re safe now.” I knew I was dreaming. A hallucination induced by the pain and fear overwhelming my heart and soul. But I so wanted it to be true.

  For the second time that day, I cried. Bitter tears of sorrow for the wings I had lost and for the love I would surely lose should Samael have anything to say about it.

  Wingless

  ____________

  ASHES

  Curled up like a child in a mother’s womb, I remained motionless for who knew how long. Caleb and Gabriel had taken me home, where an inconsolable Joan joined her brother to nurse me the best she could, cleaning wounds yet to regenerate, cooing and comforting all the while. I felt I should get up and rejoice in the fact that I was back with the ones I loved, but my grief held me captive as tightly as those angelic straps had earlier. I had lost my wings, my freedom, my joy… my soul. Voiceless and lifeless, I lay curled up in bed, my knees bent all the way to my chest, eyes open but unseeing.

  Sometime later, Caleb sat next to me, a cup of steaming tea in his hand. “Lavender. Your favorite.” His quiet yet powerful voice snapped me out of my trance, and I glanced at him. My beautiful human. Caleb’s dark, short hair stuck up a little as if he hadn’t combed it yet, and his face was covered in a thicker than usual stubble. His soothing lavender field eyes were rimmed in red.

  Although my muscles hurt from being immobile for so long, I reached out to touch his face. “Thank you.”

  He set the teacup on the table and, bending down, gingerly kissed me. “Don’t want to hurt you. You have so many wounds.” At the warmth of his breath on my lips, my heart filled with love again. Gradually, as his lips pried mine open and his tongue caressed the inside of my mouth, life returned to my body, ran through my veins, rejuvenating and restoring my faith in all that was good.

  Little by little, I stretched my legs and pulled him down beside me with my aching arms. I hadn’t lost my soul. Not completely. Flying had always been the one thing that made me happy, but there was something else now.

  Someone.

  “I was so scared, Caleb.”

  His eyes were suspiciously shiny. I brushed my hand across the stubble on his face, rejoicing in the familiar scratch against my skin.

  “I know you were. Who wouldn’t be?” He scanned my face and gently touched the bruises and cuts that peppered my face, now beginning to heal.

  “I was scared for you.” It still burned in my heart, the paralyzing fear that Samael would get his filthy, cruel hands on my love. “Samael is evil, and he was determined to have his fun at your cost. I couldn’t bear it, Caleb.”

  His arms went around and beneath me, his face flattened against my chest. I could feel my heart pounding against his skin in a love song. “We’re okay. We’re going to be all right.”

  When morning came, we hadn’t budged an inch. I had slept. Really slept all night in the arms of my personal angel. I had been sent to Earth to harvest his soul, but he had saved me in more ways than one. As I opened my eyes, blinking against the intruding sunlight peeking through the curtains, I noticed Joan standing by the bed, eyes swollen from crying, wringing her hands and watching her brother and me sleeping.

  “Good morning, Joan.” Careful not to wake Caleb, I waved her closer. “Come join us. I think we all need a great big group hug.” She didn’t need a second invitation. The elfin girl climbed onto the bed and stretched herself behind me, holding her brother on the other side of me. I could hear her tiny sobs and feel the moisture of her tears on my neck. We lay quiet for a while, allowing the heat between the three of us to recharge and console us.

  After a while, she stopped crying. “I feel like the ham in a great big sandwich.” I wanted to make her laugh again, to hear that young, crystalline giggling of hers. She didn’t disappoint.

  “What makes you think you’d be a ham? You have quite an inflated opinion of your looks, don’t you?” She let go of us and sat on the edge of the bed, still behind me. Reluctantly, I also released the sleeping Caleb and turned on my back so I could see her. “You’d be more like turkey, I think. What with all those feathers—” She stopped herself and looked positively horrified. “Oh my God! I can’t believe I just said that after you lost—”

  I sat up and held her hands in mine. “Honey, it’s okay. You can make jokes.” I needed her silly and snotty jokes right then. I needed to feel lighter and brighter and forget all the terrible things that had happened. “I love your jokes. Well, most of them.” With a smile, I gave her hands a tug, encouraging her to go on. Her face relaxed and her smile came back.

  “I’m so sorry about your beautiful wings, Sky.” She scooted closer to me. “I hope that idiot dark angel gets what he deserves.”

  “Nothing will happen to him. Being cruel is his job.” It was a fact, pure and simple. Yes, Samael was more brutal than most, but that was the one thing that made him Asmodeus’s favorite. I was suddenly reminded that I didn’t know exactly what had happened. How had Gabriel and Caleb ended up in that hellish place? How had they been able to stop Samael? I asked Joan.

  “When that fucking winged idiot took you, he left something behind.” Joan threw a glance at her brother to make sure he hadn’t heard her cursing. He stirred and she paused, as if expecting him to rebuke her. He tossed a little and turned to the other side. “Caleb says the dark angel picked you up by your feet and your phone fell from your pocket. He knew Gabriel calls you on that phone sometimes, so he looked up the caller ID and gave him a ring.”

  Caleb stirred again. He was slowly waking up, his eyes fluttering and his nose twitching.

  “Caleb called Gabriel?” I didn’t even know it was possible for a mortal to call an angel.

  My beloved had turned around and was now staring at the two of us with an amused smile on his face. “Yes, I called Gabriel, and you were right—he’s an asshole.” I laughed at his conclusion. “But nevertheless, he didn’t want one of his angels—even you—to suffer at the hands of the dark ones, so he pulled some strings, called a few head angels, and was able to get special permission to go to Hellgates and get you.”

  I was impressed that he had learned so much about my world in such a short time. “That was actually Abaddon,” I corrected him. “Hellgates is further out. Once you’re in, there’s very little chance you’ll ever get out.”

  The pointed glare I received for my troubles shut me down. “Gabriel said your body will regenerate a bit slower than usual because of the angel fire, but you’ll still heal much faster than a human. He wants you to call him as soon as you’re well enough. Something about an investigation.”

  What about Caleb? Is he safe now, or is his soul still up for grabs? What’s going to happen to him now? What’s going to happen to me? A lifetime of desk work away from the one I love? So many questions cluttered my brain. I shook my head and endeavored to focus on the most important thing right then. Whatever may happen in the future, I have Caleb and Joan with me now. It would be stupid to waste such an opportunity.

  “What did he say about my wings?” I had to ask, even though I knew the painful answer. I had never once met an angel without wings. Ever.

  Silence dropped and enveloped us all. Joan stood up. “I’ll leave the two of you to talk about it. I’ll be baking cookies if you need me. We desperately need sugar right now. Lots of it.” She left the room and it was silent again.

  “They won’t regenerate, Sky.” Like a double-edged blade, hearing what I already knew was true pierced me through my soul. “Gabriel said the Department of Wings will be working on creating a prosthetic for you, so you can eve
ntually fly again, but you’ll never regrow your own.” If the expression on my face reflected my misery, it must’ve been hard to see. Caleb’s own face contorted in pain. “I’m so sorry, Sky. I know what those wings meant to you.”

  I spoke then out of a need to share my pain with him, to share all of me with him. “It’s like someone yanked a piece of my still-beating heart from my chest and set it on fire. My wings were more than a limb. They were my soul, my freedom. When I flew down to Earth, the wind on my face and my feathers flapping soundlessly, I was happy. So very happy.”

  Hesitantly at first, Caleb moved closer. “I know.” He lowered his voice to a mere whisper and, getting on his knees, he crawled around until he kneeled behind me. He touched the now-empty roots of my wings with warmth and tenderness. “I would give anything to bring back your wings, but I can’t.” He caressed and massaged the raw wounds, sending shivers of comfort through the sensitive skin already growing over them. “I loved your wings too, but I’m just happy you’re alive and well. I don’t love you any less because you can’t fly anymore.” He pressed his warm lips against my neck and I trembled against them.

  “You are part of my soul now, Caleb.” I turned around to face him, my muscles groaning at the movement. “As much as I loved my wings, you are now the one thing that makes me happy. The one person I don’t ever want to lose. I love you.” Like the first time I met him, I tilted his chin up with my finger and kissed him. “This kiss is what I long for now. You are my wings.”

  ____________

  CLUELESS

  Gabriel was his usual taciturn self as he sat across from me at the kitchen table, distractedly munching on Joan’s cookies and staring at me.

  “You’re feeling better, right?” My boss didn’t do sensitive well. I considered asking him about his date, but I bit my tongue and smiled instead. “We still need to find out who in headquarters is making deals with the devil.” Quite literally, as it turned out.

  “I’m a little limited in my movements right now.” I wasn’t sure he caught the sarcasm in my voice. “But I’ll do what I can. What about Caleb?”

  Gabriel frowned, a quizzical expression on his handsome face. “What about him?”

  Gabriel might’ve been obtuse and annoying, but he was probably the only one who could help us. “Is Samael still after him?”

  “Samael has been taken care of. He won’t be bothering you or Caleb anymore.” That’s it? No more details? “You’re still in charge of his soul keeping. However you choose to do that is up to you.”

  Did I hear a note of sarcasm in his voice? Is Gabriel even capable?

  “Not sure how I can help with the resources I have here, Gabriel.” It had to be said. I was at a total loss on how to proceed with any kind of investigation if I couldn’t even fly. What I was supposed to investigate was all the way in Arcadia.

  “I’ll send you some documents for you to study, and I’m giving you the privilege to access the headquarters directory. Feel free to contact any angel you like and ask whatever questions you feel like asking.”

  Gabriel looked like he had just tasted something foul. I was enjoying seeing him squirm. Asking me for any favors had to be as distasteful to him as sucking on dog feces. “Just please be careful what you say to certain individuals. I can’t keep you safe forever if you insist on ruffling everyone’s feathers. Watch your mouth, you hear?”

  I nodded, knowing all too well that I’d be more than happy to ruffle as many feathers as I could in order to find out who had gotten me and Caleb in this mess. Being unable to hate didn’t prevent me from wanting some kind of retribution and closure. Especially closure. I longed for the day when I could walk away from Caleb without fear of never seeing him again. In spite of Gabriel’s assurances, I knew as long as whoever signed that contract with Samael and his minions was out there, Caleb would never be totally safe.

  “I have to go back,” he said, standing up while picking up another chocolate chip cookie. “This girl is an amazing baker!” He took another bite. “And Sky, we’re working on your prosthetic wings. I’m sorry I didn’t get to you soon enough. No angel deserves having his wings burned like that.” For once, Gabriel sounded sincere.

  I thanked him, and he was gone.

  Joan walked in and stared at the almost empty cookie platter. “Who ate all the cookies?” I gestured up to the sky. “Fucking archangel! He could’ve left some for us.”

  “Will you please stop using that language?” Caleb was right behind her, scowling. “Did Gabriel say anything interesting?”

  I rolled my eyes. “That’ll be the day.” I laughed, hooking my arm around Joan’s neck. “Are you going to bake more cookies, squirt? Gabriel is a big fan.” She groaned and wiggled away from me. “What? You don’t like my angel hugs?”

  Throwing her arms up in the air, she walked away from us and into the living room, cursing under her breath.

  Caleb watched me from under half-closed eyelids. The muscles of his crossed arms bulged from the short sleeves of a T-shirt that stretched tight across his chest. My body immediately responded to him. The thin joggers I was wearing apparently made it pretty obvious, his lips lifting at the corner.

  “Don’t be so cocky. I happen to find Gabriel very sexy.” I laughed at my own joke, strolling toward him.

  “Oh really?” Caleb straightened and stepped forward until our bodies were touching. Unhurriedly, he ran a hand from my neck to the waist of my pants and then lower still. I moaned and pressed myself against him. “So who’s hotter? Gabriel or me?”

  I was just about to show him how hot I thought he was when Joan came barreling through the door. “Oh my God! I did not need to see that.” She covered her eyes and shuffled inside the kitchen. Caleb and I quickly pulled apart, my hands automatically covering my arousal. I heard Caleb snicker behind me as a wave of heat turned me scarlet from head to toe. “I cannot unsee what I just saw. What the hell, can’t you guys use the bedroom?”

  My heavenly body had regenerated almost completely. A couple of deeper wounds were taking longer to heal, but all in all, the two weeks that had passed since my kidnapping had done their job.

  On the other hand, my burnt wings still haunted me. Like humans who had lost a limb, I had frequent phantom pains. I would catch myself reaching for my wings or trying to unfurl them, and every time reality hit me with the power of a bulldozer. My heart shrank and my hands trembled. I didn’t regret having saved Caleb and risking everything for him—he was my love, my heart, and my soul—but my wings were as much a part of me as any other vital organ, a part that defined me, gave my life purpose. Nightmares still troubled my sleep, and it wasn’t uncommon for me to wake up suddenly drenched in sweat, the wing roots on my back burning as intensely as they had that fateful day. Caleb would patiently draw me to him, cradle me in his arms, and hold me until my body stopped shaking and the tears stopped falling. His love lifted me in the same way my wings used to.

  Joan left for the library—or so she claimed. I suspected there was a new boy in the picture, and this sudden fever for knowledge had more to do with hormones than intellect. Caleb seemed oblivious to it, so I let it go; love had saved me, so why would I begrudge her the same joy?

  That said, I had followed her out onto the porch and slipped a condom in her bag. “Just in case. Look at it as a lifesaver.” She had laughed, stuck her tongue out at me, and called me “fucking weird” before running down the hilly street. That girl had a seriously filthy mouth.

  Caleb was inside, sitting at the computer and looking positively sexy with his reading glasses hanging on the tip of his perfect nose, his disheveled hair, and bare feet. I tiptoed behind and enveloped him in my arms, my head resting on the crook of his neck. “What are you doing?”

  “Working. I have a story due by tomorrow.” He turned his head toward mine and planted a quick kiss on my lips. I flattened my hands on his chest, feeling the hard muscle beneath the cotton material. “I’ve been idle too long. Angels may not need money, b
ut we lowly mortals have to work for a living.”

  “I work!” Feigning outrage at his insinuation, I nibbled on his earlobe. He quivered, and satisfaction filled me. “Well, I did until recently. But if I’m bothering you, I’ll leave you be.” I made as to leave, but he grabbed my arms, and in a smooth and quick move, he had me sitting on his lap.

  “You are the worst tease. Are all angels like that?” He buried his face in my neck, nuzzling me gently. “God, you smell good.” Beneath me I felt him swell, and shivers jolted through my body. This human had magic in him. “Shit, Sky. Now you got me all hot and bothered.” He groaned and slipped a hand inside my pants, curving it around my backside in a caress.

  There was not a lot of work done for the next hour or so, but eventually both of us had to get back to real life. Caleb returned to his laptop, and I retreated to our room to do the same. I figured as long as I could physically see him I would never get anything done.

  Joan’s laptop seemed to be staring at me as if mocking my lack of ideas as to how to proceed with this investigation. I had no clue where to start. With everything that had happened the last few weeks, I hadn’t had much time to think about it. Now I sat there, my hands on my lap, looking at the empty screen and muttering a quiet prayer. “God, I’ve always served you to the best of my capacity. Please help me find out who’s after Caleb. I’ll do whatever you ask of me.”

  The screen flickered and lit up, much to my surprise. Across it, words began to form.

  Who was in a position to place that note on Gabriel’s desk?

  Well, Gabriel for one, but I was sure he had nothing to do with it. He may be an asshole, but he wasn’t evil. So, who else had easy access to his office when he wasn’t there? In spite of his open-door policy, we all knew not to enter his space when he was away from his desk. Whoever put that note there had to have gone in while he was away.