Sanguine

by Carolyn Denman

  He was right, Eden was worth defending. Undeniably. It made it hard to argue, still …

  ‘Lainie, you’re beautiful when you’re being rained on. Did you know?’

  He was trying to distract me again but I was too miserable to fall for it. I knew I was swinging wildly between moods and I couldn’t seem to do anything about it. Half of me still wanted to play like I was back in Eden while the other half was manically stressing over Tessa, the baby, Dallmin and Jake.

  ‘Would you dance with me, beautiful Cherub?’ he implored, batting his eyelids at me playfully.

  ‘No. I’m busy being listless,’ I said, resting my cheek against the branch and dangling my arms again. ‘I’m all out of lists. Besides, I’m not allowed to dance in the rain anymore. It makes my clothes go see-through and I get in trouble.’

  ‘I hate to have to tell you, your clothes are already see-through. And I’m certainly not complaining,’ he grinned.

  Sitting up, I saw that he was right. My jeans were fine but I’d worn a pale blue cotton shirt that was no longer fit for public scrutiny. Slumping back onto my tummy, I gave a dejected sigh for all the annoying and insignificant complications of the world. I just couldn’t get things right here.

  ‘Right. That’s it, girl. Either dance with me or come inside. You must have some weird Cherub thing going on that makes you impervious to the cold but I’m bloody freezing. It’s hailing, in case you haven’t noticed. Hail is made from ice. Ice is cold. I’m cold. Please take pity on me?’

  He was right, it was cold. I was shivering like crazy and hadn’t even noticed. Was it really a Cherub thing like he suggested, or was I going a bit mental? Either way it probably wasn’t healthy for either of us to remain outside. I had forgotten the need to avoid things that could make me sick. Avoiding injury I was fine with, but illness had become a bit of a foreign concept to me. I slid down to the ground and headed indoors for a hot shower.

  Four minutes into it, the bathroom door burst open and Dallmin came charging in, as usual ignoring the fact that I was naked.

  ‘Lainie, hurry up. Put clothes on your body. Tessa says the baby is coming!’

  Chapter 51

  ‘I told you, no ambulance,’ Tess insisted, snatching the phone away from Noah and throwing it onto the couch. Then she zipped up the small backpack she’d just finished packing with muesli bars and cans of tuna, which I could understand after having sampled Nalong Hospital’s food for a week. ‘Dallmin, there’s a bag under my bed that I need. It’s pretty big—could you please get it for me?’

  He pelted out of the room as if it was a race.

  ‘Fine, I’ll drive you,’ Noah said. ‘At least let me call Dr Vertan to let her know we’re on our way.’ He reached for the phone again but Tessa grabbed his shirt in her fist.

  ‘We’re not on our way, so you can’t call her,’ she grunted, squeezing her eyes shut as another contraction gripped her.

  ‘Are you crazy? We need to go now! I don’t want to be front page of the Wimmera Times as the couple who had their first child by the side of the road because they left it too late to try to make it to the hospital.’

  ‘We won’t be. We’re not going to the hospital.’

  The phone slipped from Noah’s fingers and he stared at her, horrified. Dallmin returned carrying a large backpack with a pillow strapped to it. She had planned this all along.

  ‘It’s a bit wet for hiking to the cave, isn’t it?’ I asked her. I didn’t want her to get as cold as I had in the hail.

  Noah clasped both her hands in his. ‘Tessa, you can’t be serious. It’s an hour and a half hike through thick bush to get there, not to mention a river crossing. You’re in labour. You need to be in a hospital, with actual doctors. You know, people who have delivered babies before today.’

  ‘Actually, I’ve delivered babies before,’ Dallmin piped in. We all stared at him in surprise. ‘It is not so hard. I have helped many babies come into the world over the years.’

  Tessa beamed. ‘See? All sorted. Let’s go,’ she said, waddling towards the door.

  ‘No! Not sorted at all! He doesn’t count. He probably just … sang to them or something. If things ever went wrong he could just grab a piece of Fruit and everything would be fine,’ Noah argued, blocking the doorway.

  I laughed as I took the backpack from Dallmin and strapped it on. ‘Noah, that’s the whole point. Don’t you see? Your son is a Cherub. We can take him across if we need to. That’s why she wants to go. You never intended to go to Melbourne at all, did you, Tessa?’

  ‘No, but I’ll admit I wasn’t exactly planning on waiting until I was in labour to get to the cave either. I was hoping the weather would clear up this afternoon so Noah and I could go and camp there safely, out of everyone’s way and let you all concentrate on—’ She winced and closed her eyes again. ‘I think I’m going to need a lot of help,’ she finished, stretching out her back.

  Noah still blocked the doorway with his arm. ‘Tessa, love. Have you really thought this through? We can’t give any Fruit to you. We can’t even give you any decent pain relief. What if you need medical treatment? What if something goes wrong?’ He took her face gently in his hands, forcing her to look into his eyes. ‘I won’t risk either of you. It’s too dangerous.’

  Her brow furrowed as she stared back at him, and her voice was stern. ‘Sorry, honey, I’ve made up my mind. You heard what Dr Vertan said. It’s our son that’s most at risk right now, not me. And until he links with his own Guardian, I’m in charge of his safety. We’re going to the cave. Now.’

  Wow. Go Tessa. Never had I seen anyone resist Noah like that when he stared into their eyes. Even I would have had trouble. She was either seriously determined, or our Guardians had some level of immunity to our gifts. Probably both. We all froze for a few seconds to await the outcome of the impasse, until the phone rang and Bane answered it. It was Aunt Lily, returning my earlier call to let her know the news.

  ‘Lily says good luck and kisses to all, and also says that there are fresh batteries for the lantern under the kitchen sink,’ he relayed. ‘She’ll explain things to Sergeant Loxwood when he gets back from work.’ Tess looked as surprised as we did. My aunt had guessed her plan already, and was willing to back her up. Dallmin darted for the batteries while Bane tried to pry the backpack from me. After besting my Guardian with a good old-fashioned wet-willy, I smiled apologetically at Noah as I pushed past him out the door. Bane grimaced, rubbing his ear, and followed.

  The hike was horrendous. It took almost two and a half hours of slipping, sliding and half carrying Tessa upstream. Carrying the pack had turned out to be the easy option compared with what Bane and Noah had to do to help support Tess. Dallmin carried the food and, for once, seemed happy to hang back a little and let the others fuss over Tessa. Bane did a marvellous job. If there was a test in his army training on how to escort pregnant civilians through enemy territory, he would have passed with flying colours. Somehow he managed to clear the scrub ahead of her, help Noah lift her over obstacles and still be completely aware of his surroundings, enough that at one point he pointed out the presence of a pair of eagles as they hauled her up the river bank. The rain had finally let up and the majestic birds were claiming back the sky as their own, gliding overhead as if leading us home.

  It had been just over three weeks since I had returned from Eden, and my heart yearned to see it again, to breathe the sweet air and taste the music in the River. The closer I got the stronger the pull became, until I could almost smell the fragrance of the blossoms up ahead, tantalising my senses. Fidgeting, I waited while Tessa stopped for yet another rest. Her needs were the only thing preventing me from running full pelt for the cave. Dallmin seemed to feel the same, staring rigidly ahead through the trees. Noah was eyeing him warily, and then glanced my way. He didn’t need to say it. Neither of us knew how we felt about him coming along. Sometimes it felt fine,
but every now and then I felt a sudden urge to drag him away by his hair the way Noah had threatened to do to me in the hospital. We needed his help, so I’d been trying to ignore the feeling, but the closer we got the harder it was becoming. I didn’t like what that meant and eventually I had to confront him.

  Are you thinking of returning home today? I signed when he started pacing around the tiny clearing. He looked like he wanted to strip off his jacket, shirt and jeans and streak all the way to the cave. I totally understood the feeling. He watched me for a few seconds before he answered, reading the unspoken conflict in my body language.

  Today is about Tessa and the baby. It is not the right time for me to try, although I long to see Annie. Do you think she will come?

  I expect so. She will want to meet the baby. And see you.

  I could feel my shoulders relax as his intention not to cross became clearer in his own mind, and therefore in mine. Noah must have felt it too because he let out a deep breath and returned his attention to his wife, retying her sweaty hair while she sipped from a water bottle. Interesting. And yet if people who had no idea about Eden got this close we would have both been frantic, because we were compelled to keep it a secret. Or perhaps we had an instinctive way of knowing someone’s intent even before they did themselves. An interesting question to ponder next time I woke at three am and couldn’t sleep, but all I cared about at that moment was getting Tessa to the cave while she could still walk. She must have had the same concern because she stood up and began to power-walk ahead as soon as Noah had finished making a knotted mess of her pony tail.

  At long last we made it to the base of the waterfall, where Bane stripped off his shirt and swam alongside the canoe to hold it steady while Noah rowed and Tess sat clutching the sides and looking ill. My Guardian scowled at me as I waded in, as if he’d expected me to wait for the boat to come back rather than swim. Honestly, Tessa’s contractions were only a few minutes apart, but I knew he wasn’t going to take a step further until I was with him and I wasn’t going to let a little cold water hold us all up. As it was, he spent the whole trip across scanning the bushes as if he expected to see Jake jump out and fly away with me hooked in his talons. When I took the plunge into the swift current, Dallmin followed, and swam alongside me the whole way, picking up on what Bane wanted from him in the usual Eden way without having to be told.

  Squelching my way up the riverbank, I grabbed Dallmin’s hand to help him up. At the top I didn’t let go, but tugged him around to face me.

  I feel the need to stop you from crossing over, I signed. It was hard not to burst into tears having to tell him. I switched to a language that had the words I needed to utter. ‘When you get to the cave, stay away from the sword. Don’t even look at it if you can avoid it. Noah and I will stop you if you intend to go near it, and if, somehow, you get past us, the sword itself will kill you.’ The tears won. ‘I’m so, so sorry, Dallmin. I’ve failed you. You can’t go home.’

  In that moment, as he nodded sadly, something behind his eyes dimmed. I saw what Bane had been trying to describe to me, and it was fading like a winter sunset. When he squared his shoulders and turned to move on, he looked older, and his expression was … guarded.

  It broke my heart.

  Annie was waiting for us in the cave, crying. Of course she already knew. She would have felt Dallmin drawing near, for all the worst reasons. She threw herself into his arms and sobbed while he held her.

  His whole demeanour reflected the guilt he felt at letting her down. ‘I’m sorry, Annie. I should have listened to you. I can’t come home.’

  All of us watched the tragic reunion silently, wishing there was something we could do. I wanted someone to blame for making such stupid rules, but there were no rules. Not really. There were simply facts and consequences. Rules would have been easier. At least then I might have been compelled to prevent him from leaving Eden in the first place, and yet if rules existed there, then it wouldn’t have been Eden. A paradox worthy of the confusion I felt.

  We began to set up camp. It was clear that Tessa had thought through her plan well ahead of time because she had packed everything she could possibly need. Everything except for an obstetrician. I wondered how much more she would have brought if she’d had some way of sneaking stuff in ahead of time without Noah noticing. We tried to make her as comfortable as we could but the floor was very hard and cold and damp, and her mat was not very thick. At least all the small rocks had been cleared away when I had tidied up Noah’s mess that day all those years before. The limestone floor was still rough and uneven though. Could I tweak things again now? Eden needed this baby to be safely delivered, so would I be able to convince myself that there was enough of a need that I would be able to access power? It wouldn’t hurt to ask, surely. My best chance was with the sword. It was freezing in the cave, particularly after the rain and river crossing had soaked all our clothes. Noah was helping Tess change into something dry. I wanted more so I forced myself to look at the revolving weapon. Stunning in its beauty, the white metal blade reflected the bright glow of the flames licking along its edges. Flashes of violent images seared across my vision. Sarah burning. Screaming.

  Sickened, I let the idea of turning up the sword’s heat slip uselessly away. I didn’t want to mess with it at all, especially with Dallmin so close. Bane was looking at me sideways, probably wondering if I was going to break down again, so I gave him a half-smile of reassurance and went to greet my mother, who was still falling apart in Dallmin’s arms.

  Explaining everything that had happened helped a little, although she looked so stunned at the idea of anyone trying to hurt Tessa that I wasn’t entirely sure she comprehended all the details. It had been an unfortunate series of occurrences that had prevented us from getting Dallmin home in time. It didn’t stop us all from feeling guilty though. The craziest part was that none of us had done a thing wrong. But we had let it happen. That was enough.

  Mere minutes later, Tessa’s waters broke and we all turned our attention to the pending arrival of the new infant. Childbirth was a deeply sacred event, no matter which side of the Boundary you came from. Things began to move very quickly from that point on. Tessa started to make noises I was certain Dallmin hadn’t had to deal with before, and Annie began to sing to her until Tessa glared meaningfully at me. I’m sure the Eden mothers dosed up on Fruit juice would have loved it but Tess didn’t exactly look grateful, so I signed to my mother that she might want quiet. Annie smiled as her will shifted to match the precious lady’s.

  At one point I noticed Bane standing rigidly at the mouth of the tunnel, torn between wanting to stay with me and wanting to keep watch for Jake.

  ‘He’s nowhere near here,’ I reassured him, giving him a quick peck on the cheek. ‘Am I in danger at all?’

  ‘You haven’t stopped being in danger for some time now, Lainie. I’m just learning to hide it better.’

  ‘Sorry. I meant now, specifically. You look like a tiger ready to attack something. Do you want to go and patrol or something?’

  He rubbed the goose bumps from my arms and smiled at me. ‘I’m not sure what I want to do. I want to patrol, yes. I also want to give Tessa some privacy, she can’t be comfortable having all of us hanging around.’

  I glanced at my beautiful gravid friend who couldn’t seem to decide if she wanted to stand up or lie down. She looked well beyond caring who was nearby. Her world had become a tiny universe of pain, exhaustion and excited anticipation.

  Bane stroked my cheek with warm fingers. ‘I also want to throw you over my shoulder and take you away from this place. Or else shove you headlong across the Boundary. I can’t decide which desire is stronger.’

  Two wants. No wonder he looked stressed. I frowned at him until he explained.

  ‘I wish I could get you away from here before you get too tempted to go … home, because I’m terrified I might lose you again. But you would
be safe in Eden. And happy. More than happy. I’m feeling very selfish and conflicted right now. I honestly don’t know what I want.’

  I knew what I wanted though. Nayn was a very wise man. ‘I won’t leave you,’ I said. ‘I figured it out. I thought we would be happier if we were free from all these compulsions and duties, and yet I’ve found far more joy and freedom … and power, in submitting to it all than I ever thought possible. You and I are supposed to be together. I won’t forget that ever again, no matter which side of the Boundary I’m on.’

  His kiss was firm and a little frantic, as if he was using it to distract himself from doubting thoughts. That seemed like a perfectly appropriate use for a kiss, so I did the same, until an agonised yell echoed around the cavern. The noise bounced around so much that it sounded like the mountain itself was crying out. Dallmin looked panic-stricken.

  ‘It’s all right, Dallmin,’ I reassured him. ‘Sadly this is normal here. Childbirth is super-painful. Think about what’s happening to her body. Of course it hurts. Just do what you can to help her.’

  Annie re-wrapped the blanket around Tessa’s shoulders while Noah sat still, letting his wife crush his hand. She must have been pretty distracted to do that.

  The next few minutes were intense. Bane went back out to the cave entrance to look around, probably concerned that Tessa’s cries might be echoing throughout the valley. Noah talked constantly to reassure his labouring wife, while Dallmin calmly advised her when to try to relax and when to push, and I just hovered around, hoping I wouldn’t have to assist like I sometimes did with the lambing.

  Finally, and with no pain relief whatsoever, Tessa performed the most exquisite miracle I had ever seen. And that was saying something.