by Sidney Wood
Cramming her suitcase in the back seat of her car, Ulie jumped behind the wheel and pressed the remote attached to the visor. The garage door opened with a prolonged groan. Ulie had no idea where to go, but she had made her move. Maybe she chose the wrong time, and maybe she had just made a huge mistake. Time would tell. She only knew one thing for certain; dwelling on the multitude of looming doubts, might break her. She had to focus on the win. She finally stood up for herself and escaped from under Chucks thumb. She’d never have to endure his coldness, his passive cruelty, or his disgusting bedroom treatment ever again. She had taken back her identity and the power that went with it.
Ulie grasped the steering wheel with shaking hands and drove. She’d pick up the pieces tomorrow. Ulie aimed for the nearest gas station to stop and get her bearings. She needed to find a hotel and maybe call Noah.
As much as she needed to hear his voice and to bury her head in his chest, her gut told her not to put this on him. Ulie loathed the thought of Noah taking the blame for her situation. She’d tell Noah eventually, but not until the dust settled. She needed to get on her feet and help Miranda through the difficult times ahead.
A brightly lit sign caught her eye, advertising a twenty-four-hour gas and grocery joint next to the highway. Ulie swerved into the gas station’s nearly empty parking lot, stopping near the front door. Within the safe glow of the illuminated storefront, Ulie called and booked a hotel room for the week. She stared at her phone for several minutes, still considering a phone call to Noah. At last, she dropped it into her purse and idled toward the highway.
Once safely inside her hotel room, Ulie turned on the television, lowered the sound, and collapsed on the bed. She fell asleep with her shoes on.
The next day, Chuck let Ulie swing by to pick up some more clothes and to visit with Miranda. He had the day off, so he supervised. Poor Miranda’s eyes were wide with fear. She loved both of her parents, but her mom had been her constant companion.
“Mom, when are you coming home?” she sobbed into Ulie’s belly.
Stroking her daughter’s head, Ulie tried unsuccessfully to hold back her own tears. She wept with Miranda. “I’m so sorry baby. You’re my whole world, okay? I’m not going far, and we will be together again soon.”
“No,” Miranda cried.
“Mommy has to make some changes baby, but that does not mean I’m leaving you behind. I’m not. I will always be your mommy.” She knelt in front of her daughter, holding her face in her hands. “I know it is not fair, and I know this hurts you. I’m so sorry! I need you to trust Mommy that this is important. I love you! I’ll come see you all the time and we can talk on the phone every day. You be a good girl for daddy.” Ulie kissed Miranda’s cheeks and her forehead, wrapping her in a big hug. She held on tightly. Closing her eyes, Ulie hoped Chuck would relent and let her take Miranda.
“Mom has to go now,” he said in a gruff voice. Eyeing Ulie, he jerked his chin toward the door.
“I love you, Pumpkin,” she said, giving Miranda one last squeeze and a kiss on top of the head. She inhaled the sweet aroma, locking away the memory of her daughter’s scent for safekeeping.
Breaking free of Miranda’s grasp, Ulie took her bags and walked out the door. Miranda’s cries stabbed her chest like jagged daggers, threatening to rip her heart out if she took another step. She stopped, setting the bags on the driveway. Ulie’s hands shook so violently that she fumbled the key for several seconds before she managed to unlock the car door. Tears boiled from her eyes and soaked the front of her shirt.
“I can’t do this!” Ulie grasped the door’s handle, intending to run back inside and apologize to Chuck. She’d beg him to take her back and endure anything if it meant saving Miranda from the same terrible sadness. Only the certainty that Chuck would get physical if she tried to go back inside stayed her hand. He’d never allow it. An ice-cold pit sank to the bottom of Ulie’s stomach, signaling the end. She couldn’t turn back.
Not able to look at the house where she and Chuck raised their daughter, Ulie pressed the pedal and accelerated away.
Chapter Fifteen (December)
Luke’s stay in residential treatment ended one week into the supposed two-week treatment plan for at-risk-kids. The center, under some sort of “reset” period, scaled back all sessions with psychiatrists and counselors. The kids slept most of the day and only saw their counselors for a few minutes. When Noah asked, the psychiatrist on duty knew of Luke but admitted she had never met with him.
At the end of the ordeal, Noah took Luke’s mom back to court to get full custody. His ex-wife’s free-for-all parenting style undermined Noah and put Luke at risk. He brought Luke’s attendance records and report cards from school broken down by custodial weeks, his own daily visitation schedule at the treatment center, and a comparably weak visitation schedule showing his ex-wife had only stopped by twice. Once Judge Mariscal heard his arguments, Noah would bring Luke home for good.
He couldn’t have been more wrong. Noah lost, bigtime.
Rather than place Luke in Noah’s care, with structure and boundaries, Judge Mariscal said, “I think we can all agree that there’s danger in forcing Luke to be at his Father’s house. Let’s let Luke adjust to more time with Dad slowly, and after a period of counseling. Shall we say, six months? After that, Luke can go to Dad’s on weekends – with the counselor’s recommendation. Eventually, we can work back up to fifty-fifty custody. Until then, I’m giving Mom full custody with liberal visitation for Dad.”
Noah drank himself sick that night. “How could I have lost my son?” he whispered to the glass of whiskey in his hand. His whole world revolved around Luke. “What did I do wrong?”
He groaned, pressing the glass to his forehead. Noah closed his eyes and reminisced. He saw Luke’s newborn baby face looking up into his eyes, smiling for the first time. On wobbly legs, toddler Luke let go of Daddy’s hands and took his first steps to the delighted squeal of Mom. Noah recalled his heart bursting wide open with pride. A long hug goodbye on Luke’s first day of school nearly made Noah cry, but the excitement his boy showed running inside with the other kids replaced the lump in his throat with a broad smile.
Noah choked down his emotions and took another drink of iced whiskey. “Damn it,” he growled, livid with himself for being weak and emotional. He had been dead wrong about how to help his son, and now he had to reap the consequences. Downing the rest of the glass, he pulled out his phone. He desperately needed a distraction.
“Hey, gorgeous. It’s my turn to need a friendly word. I’m home alone, working my way through a bottle and it occurred to me that might not be the healthiest way to spend an evening. Are you there?” Send.
As he waited, Noah poured another half glass. He drank the whiskey fast enough that the ice cubes hadn’t melted. Leaving it on the counter, he watched bubbles dancing at the bottom of his phone’s screen. “She’s there.” Noah sighed with relief.
“I’m alone too. My number is 253-555-5555, if you want to talk. I’d love to hear your voice.”
Raising an eyebrow, Noah considered that for a moment – a phone call. He didn’t have anyone to hide from, and she made the invitation. “Things must be alright on her end if she can take a call,” he thought. Noah dialed the number.
“Hello handsome,” Ulie answered.
Noah could hear her smiling through the telephone. It was contagious. Just her voice had been enough to draw him out of the funk. “Hi there, gorgeous. I miss you more than you can imagine. Thanks for sending your number.” Noah could hear movement on her end, the rustling of clothes or sheets.
Ulie yawned. “Me too. By the way, I’m in bed right now, alone and nearly naked. I want you to join me.”
Buzzing strong, Noah’s pants began to shrink. He picked up his glass and walked to the bedroom. “Oh, really? And what does almost naked mean?” He grinned ear to ear.
“Hmmm, it means that my little kitten is covered by this teensy tiny bit of cloth, so easy to pull
aside or to slide down. My boobs are completely unguarded and ready for you to touch or kiss; whatever you have in mind.”
Although he wanted this type of distraction when he called, hearing Ulie’s voice made Noah hungry for her company, not just sex. He swallowed, realizing his vulnerable state. If he opened his heart to her now, it would burst wide open.
“Ulie, I want nothing more than to make love to you right now.” He paused. “It’s just…,”
“Oh no,” Ulie replied softly. “What happened, Noah? Please, tell me.”
Noah hesitated. He wanted to tell Ulie how much he hurt over his son’s suicide attempt, and how losing custody devastated him. He wanted to tell her how lonely most nights were, and how he went out of his mind thinking of her making love to her husband. A lump rose in his throat. “I want you to be mine,” he thought. But he couldn’t say any of those things. Tossing his drink back, he grimaced.
“I uh, just missed you, that’s all,” he lied. “I had you in my arms, Ulie, and now I can’t stop wanting you every night.” His gut twisted.
“Aw, baby,” she whispered. “You can have me tonight, right now. Let me take care of you.”
Noah’s head spun with booze and Ulie’s sultry voice increased the effect. Her soft breaths re-ignited the fire in his groin. Slurring slightly, he said, “You always know what to say, lover. Give me a minute to set my drink down and uh, get comfortable.” The dark cloud hanging over him refused to lift, turning into a thick fog that trapped his inhibitions. “I love when you touch yourself for me. Will you do that now? While I unzip these jeans, I want you to pinch your nipples and squeeze those delicious, plump breasts. Uh, I mean boobs.” He chuckled dryly.
Ulie giggled then moaned. “Mmmm, I like the way that feels.”
Noah felt pressure building and his pulse quickened. A few months ago, or maybe even weeks, Ulie had been too shy to carry on over the phone. Now she seemed comfortable.
In his ear, she purred, “I’m sorry, baby, but one of my hands won’t stay still. It’s going down my body. My kitty needs attention. Will you help me make it feel better?”
Stunned by her bold words, Noah gulped. “Yes,” he breathed. With one hand, he released the engorged rope trapped under his clothing. The heat from their verbal connection caused it throb in his palm. “Tell me what you want and it’s yours.”
She began to breathe harder. “Use your hand and make it nice and hard for me. Are you doing that?” Ulie said; her voice breathy as she touched herself.
“I’m stroking it slow for you. It feels good, but not as good as when you do it.” Noah reclined against the headboard with a pillow behind his back. A towel lay next to him.
“I’m wet for you, Noah,” Ulie whispered in his ear. “Can you feel it? Use something to make yourself slippery. I want you to know how it feels when you’re inside me.” She whimpered softly, making Noah’s member jump.
He took a small bottle of clear lubricant from the nightstand and dropped some in his hand. “I feel you, slick and warm.” He groaned, rubbing it on his swollen member. Noah stroked up and down, squeezing. “You’re so tight, baby.”
“I’m using a toy,” Ulie confessed, her breath catching as she said the last word.
Noah increased his speed. He wanted her to feel him inside her, but never thought to suggest a sexual aid. He imagined Ulie naked, lying on the bed with a toy between her spread legs, phone cradled to her ear. He exhaled forcefully as his core tightened.
“I bought one that reminds me of you. It is not as good, but it fills me up the same way you do. Mmm, you’re in so deep.”
Noah groaned, resuming slow, firm, up and down strokes. The powerful image of her toying made his already swollen head grow larger. He closed his eyes. Combined with the prize of hearing her voice in real time, this hot new experience pushed him to the edge much faster than he intended. The sounds of Ulie’s breathing, her moans and her sweet voice magnified the tremendous desire burning in his belly. “Baby, your voice…,” he muttered. “It is making it hard for me to stay in control.”
“We just started!” Ulie laughed.
Her levity swirled the alcohol infused fog. Noah chuckled. “I know.” The distraction of humor helped, and the feeling of nearing climax passed.
“Should I stop talking?” she asked.
Imagining her pretty face, one eyebrow lifted in a tease, Noah shook his head. “No way. I want every syllable you can give me. I love your voice.”
“Can you hold on a little longer? I need a minute or two to get where you are.”
“I can wait baby. Now, tell me how you want it. I’m starting slow.”
Noah followed Ulie’s lead as she told him what she needed. Together, they fueled each other’s fire, pushing one another toward climax. Noah’s body tensed and twitched with every word Ulie whispered in his ear. Her voice filled him with sizzling electricity as he pumped to her body’s rhythm. It wasn’t long before he heard gasping breaths and moans as Ulie approached her tipping point. Filled with red hot passion, he raced to join her. Noah groaned as the pressure built. He squeezed tightly, vigorously pumping, until he overflowed in tremendous relief, unloading his gun in powerful spurts of sticky fluid. His tense muscles twitched intensely, relaxing incrementally and with each subsequent throb. Noah exhaled.
“Shit,” he mumbled, getting to his feet.
“Are you okay?” Ulie inquired with a breathless laugh. Her voice quivered as orgasmic tremors coursed through her body.
“Uh, yeah,” Noah replied. “But my blanket isn’t. I overshot the towel.”
“Ew!” Ulie giggled.
“Yeah, well just be glad you don’t have to clean it up,” Noah said with a chuckle as he stripped the blanket from his bed. “I uh, I had fun,” he added.
“I did too. Thank you for calling me, handsome. Did I help you feel better?”
Laughing, Noah responded smartly, “From the look of my bed, I think the answer is, yes.” Laughter on the other end of the phone made his smile grow. “Thank you, Ulie. I love you.” The last three words spilled out unintentionally. He knew he shouldn’t say them, yet he couldn’t help saying what he knew she wanted to hear.
“I love you too, Noah.”
“Do I detect a hint of sadness, or am I reading too much into it?” he wondered.
“Is everything okay?” he asked.
There was a short pause, and Ulie said, “Of course, lover.”
“Okay, good night baby.”
“Good night.”
****
The next morning, as Noah prepared for work, he heard a knock on the door. A sedan sat out front, but not one he recognized. As he opened the door half-way, a balding man of medium build with a black polo tucked into gray slacks greeted him.
“Noah McCormick?” the man asked.
“That’s me,” Noah said, one foot bracing the door from behind as he waited for the guy to pitch whatever he came to sell.
Lightning fast, the man slid a manila envelope into Noah’s hand, saying, “You’ve been served.”
“Huh?” Noah looked at envelope blankly. He didn’t recognize the name or return address.
“Sorry buddy, nothing personal. You have thirty days to respond. Sign here, please.” He thrust a clipboard at Noah with a pen attached by a blue lanyard.
Noah signed the receipt and shut the door.
“What the hell is this?” he wondered as he peeled the envelop open.
“ORDER TO SUBMIT TO DNA TESTING TO DETERMINE PATERNITY”
“What?” Noah tore through the pages, trying to make sense of it. “I haven’t been with anyone!” he swore. His mind raced, his heart pounding in his ears. “It couldn’t be Ulie, right?” He kept reading. “Not a chance,” he decided. ANCHORAGE COURT headlined each page, but he couldn’t find the plaintiff’s name. “This has to be a joke or a mistake.”
Flipping back through, he found a familiar name on the second page, Lisa, the parts girl from Anchorage House of Harley. He had mis
sed it the first time through. “Oh shit,” he muttered. Noah sat down and read the whole document from front to back, finally understanding who and what he faced.
The parts girl’s husband wanted out. He filed a lawsuit against her and Noah to get his name off the birth certificate, and he got the court to order a paternity test. Right or wrong, he argued that Noah had fathered the child.
Noah stared into space for several minutes, processing what this news could mean. “I might have another kid.” Seconds ticked by, then minutes as he stared blankly at the empty house around him.
Soberly, he stood, retrieved the keys to his pickup and left for work. Old but reliable, he bought the single-cab truck when he left the service. Noah figured it would last forever if he took good care of it.
The documents lay on the counter next to the bottle of Whiskey.
Chapter Sixteen (One week later)
One month into her exile, Ulie still lived in a hotel. She had transitioned into a long-term efficiency that made a little more sense yet missed the comforts of home. She missed Miranda even more. Chuck let her visit with Miranda most days but refused to talk about long term arrangements.
To supplement her part-time architectural work, Ulie found work as a substitute art teacher at Miranda’s school, a huge blessing; and enrolled at the University to finish her graduate degree. It would take a lot of hard work, but the horizon held opportunities she stopped believing in, and dreaming of, long ago.
While the elementary school kids ate lunch, Ulie poured red paint into a collection of tiny paper cups in the art room. Principal Faller entered.
“How is it going today?” the principle asked.
Ulie spilled a little paint, startled by the older lady’s stealthy arrival. “Um, it’s going well. I love working with kids.” She smiled as she wiped up the mess with a paper towel.