by Sidney Wood
Phillip placed a hand behind her head and brought his lips to hers. Perhaps the wine influenced her, or her heightened state or arousal, but Ulie judged this kiss their best yet. Her lips softened as they met his, their mouths opening in synch with one another. Her tongue touched his as their mouths began to close again, sliding over each other to twist playfully then retreat until the next opening. Her head swam and her body hummed as they kissed, making love with their lips and tongues.
Caught up in the moment, Ulie’s hand pressed against Phillips thigh, sliding higher and higher, until she felt the bulge she had been thinking about all night. She rubbed it gently with her palm, her breath turning husky and intensifying. A moan escaped her lips and she felt her heart beating in her ears.
Oddly, Phillip stiffened and pulled away. “Please don’t,” he said in a breathy voice.
Ulie immediately recoiled. “I didn’t, I um…” Her head spun as she tried to make sense of his reaction, to sort out why he didn’t want her. “I’m sorry, Phillip.” Tears burned in her eyes.
Turning to her, Phillip took her hands in his. “No,” he said. “Don’t apologize. I want that too, it’s just…” He exhaled. “I want to wait.”
“How long?” Ulie surprised herself with the question. Her cheeks were already red, or she’d have blushed again.
“Not long, I promise.” Phillip chuckled and touched her cheek. “I’m sorry I upset you.”
Ulie chuckled in return. “It’s not your fault, Phillip. I think I did it to myself. All evening, I’ve been thinking of this…of being alone with you.”
Phillip smiled and brought her hands up to his lips. He kissed them, one at a time, and then kissed Ulie’s lips. “I’ve been thinking of that too. It’s hard to think of anything else around you.” He held her close for the remainder of the drive.
When the car door opened, Ulie saw they were at her apartment. Phillip kindly helped her out of the car and walked with her to the door. Nearing the porch, Ulie stopped and gasped.
“Phillip, they’re beautiful!” Ulie exclaimed.
All the bouquets of roses from the car, and many more, waited on her porch. She turned and threw her arms around Phillip’s neck. “Thank you!” she said. “They are gorgeous.”
Phillip smiled and pecked her cheek. “Not half as much as you, my dear.”
At the door, Ulie paused and readied her key. She didn’t want to unlock the door and bring an end to such a wonderful evening. She wanted Phillip to come inside. “Thank you for a wonderful evening, Phillip.” She waited, but Phillip didn’t respond. Ulie turned around.
“Oh!” Ulie blinked. Kneeling on the porch just behind her amidst several dozen roses, Professor Tuttle beamed. Extending his hands, he opened a black felt box; and at its center, resting on a white satin pillow, lay a shimmering, silver-colored ring topped with a dazzling, clear stone.
“Ulie Hanson, will you make me the happiest man in the world and marry me?”
Shocked, Ulie stared at Phillip’s hopeful face as the porch swayed beneath her feet. She steadied herself against the doorjamb, unable to speak.
Phillip waited, his happy expression dwindling as the seconds ticked by. At last, he rose to his feet and touched her arm. “I’ve startled you. I apologize.”
His touch freed her from the trance, and she threw her arms around him. “I want to say yes,” she cried. “Please don’t think I’m saying no! It’s just… I need to think about it.” Closing her eyes and scrunching her nose, Ulie hugged Phillip tightly. She held her breath, waiting for him to recoil or rebuke her. “Oh, why can’t you just say yes?” she wondered.
“I understand.” His high-pitched voice maintained a soft and soothing tone, not heated as she expected. Unwrapping himself gently from her arms, he said, “I’ll come by tomorrow to check on you.” Phillip kissed her cheek and walked down the steps to the waiting car.
Ulie watched him go, worried that she had just made the worst mistake of her life. When the car disappeared, she stepped inside and closed the door.
Chapter Twenty-Seven (One week later)
Noah scrubbed a day’s worth of oil and grease from his hands and rinsed off under warm water. “I’ll see you tomorrow old timer,” he shouted to Bill as he dried his hands on a shop towel. Digging keys out of his pocket, Noah climbed into the cab of his pickup and started the engine. The old pickup rumbled to life, puffing a cloud of white exhaust against the steel sided building then settling into a smooth idle. Noah maneuvered the lever to Drive and guided the truck out of the parking lot. Instead of steering toward home, Noah veered toward his ex-wife’s house, to fetch Luke.
When he arrived, Noah waited in the cab and sent his son a text. He had to admit, letting Luke have a phone turned out well; he barely had to speak with his ex-wife about anything. At first, Noah balked, worried Luke might isolate himself. Kids these days were glued to the stupid things. Heck, adults were just as bad or worse. But he finally agreed, and to his surprise, Luke did well with the device. For a nine-year-old, the kid was bright.
Luke came running out of the house, his backpack over one shoulder.
Noah leaned over and popped the passenger door open with a grunt.
“Hey sport,” he said as Luke climbed in.
“Hey dad. I’m hungry.”
Noah smirked and nodded. “The boy is hungry. No surprise there.” Resting an arm on top of the bench seat, he said. “Anywhere in particular you want to eat?”
“Burgers!” Luke grinned, buckling his seatbelt.
“Okay, but we’re eating at home. I don’t feel like sitting at a restaurant tonight.” Noah dropped it into reverse and backed out of his ex-wife’s driveway.
At home, Luke dug into the bag and passed his dad a burger and a box of fries. After a couple of bites, Luke said, “Dad, can I ask you something personal?”
Noah stopped chewing and squinted at Luke. He was intrigued. Luke had never stopped to ask. If he wanted to know something, he had always blurted out a question. “A personal question… okay.”
“Do you promise that you’ll tell me the truth? It’s really important.” Sober as a judge, Luke stared at Noah.
Raising his eyebrows, Noah waited a beat then nodded. “I promise.” As soon as he said the words, he regretted them. He had no idea what Luke planned to ask, and it might put him in a tight spot.
“Are you in love with anyone?”
Noah nearly choked. He coughed to clear his airway and carefully swallowed the mouthful of food he had been chewing. He washed it down with a sip of soda and set the cup on the table. Changing his mind, he took it back for another sip. “What the heck is the boy trying to get at?” He studied Luke’s face, searching for a clue to no avail. Either Luke had learned to play poker, or Noah was a shitty detective. He deflected. “Well, that’s a complicated question, Son. Why do you ask?”
Luke frowned. “You promised, Dad. Just answer the question.”
Noah squinted. He had no idea if Luke’s questions were centered on Nicky’s mom, or if his son had his eye on a girl at school. Noah sucked air through his teeth and nodded. “Yeah, I guess I do, Son.” He sighed. “But it doesn’t matter. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t love me back, not anymore.”
“Why do you say that?”
“Last time I saw her she wouldn’t speak to me. I tried calling and I sent a couple of texts, but she won’t answer.” He studied Luke’s face.
“She sounds kind of mean. Maybe it’s for the best.” Luke took another bite of his burger and stuffed a couple of fries in his mouth to chew on at the same time.
The dismissive comments irritated Noah, and he could swear the little inquisitor said them just to see his reaction. If so, it worked.
“That’s not it at all, Luke. I had a shot at being with her a while back and I…well, I blew it. She needed me to be her friend and I wasn’t there for her. It happened right around the time Lisa told me about Nicky. I got overwhelmed with that, and I was still worried about…” He paused
, cursing himself silently for almost bringing up Luke’s suicide attempt. “With everything going on I just couldn’t be there for her. I wanted to, but my life turned upside down, you know? I was a mess.” Noah took another sip. “I messed up, because I think she loved me back then, and I couldn’t admit that I loved her too. I mean, I said the words, but I convinced myself I had to let her go; that if I didn’t, I’d be ruining her life. In the end, all I did was hurt her.” Noah shook his head. “You know what? I shouldn’t be telling you this stuff.”
Luke’s eyes grew wide and he dropped his burger. “Will you tell me who it is?”
Noah wrinkled his forehead. “Sorry, Bud. Some things should stay private.”
Luke frowned, ran to the bathroom, and shut the door. He stayed in there for several minutes.
Noah finished his burger in the meantime and moved to the couch. When Luke returned, Noah asked, “Everything alright?”
“Yeah, my stomach is just upset.” Luke devoured the rest of his burger and fries, belying that argument. “Can I go to my room and do homework?”
Noah shot him a quizzical look. “I can’t say no to that. You sure you’re feeling okay?”
Luke chuckled and hurried to his room.
Alone in the living room, Noah flipped through endless channels without finding anything worth watching. Switching the television off, he glanced at his phone. There were no messages. Noah opened his photo album and scrolled backward a few months. What he saw made him smile. Luke’s questions teased his feelings for Ulie to the surface and looking at her brought comfort. “Damn, I miss that face.”
Noah leaned his head back and closed his eyes. “Should I try again?” If he could just make her listen, he knew she’d understand. Changing a closed mind…no one on earth had that kind of power, yet everyone wished for it. Some people say, if you love something, let it go. If it is meant to be, it will return. A sweet sentiment, but people miss chances all the time. Noah knew he’d regret it for the rest of his life if he didn’t keep trying.
He sat up and took a deep breath, exhaling in a huff. “Here goes nothing.”
“Ulie, I’m sorry, and I love you.” Send. He had a nagging sense that he should write more, to add depth; a sort of flourish that would catch her attention. That was his strength, after all. “No, keep it simple and honest.”
He watched the screen for a moment, hoping to see tiny bubbles bouncing at the bottom of the screen, but Noah understood the futility of the exercise. Setting his phone on the end table, he lay on the couch to rest his eyes. Before long, he forgot about the phone and snored peacefully.
****
Under the covers, but still dressed, Luke whispered into his phone. The room was dark.
“Yeah, really bad... I stayed in the hospital for a while, and then they put me in another kind of hospital for kids. My dad visited me every day.”
He stared at the closet door as he listened to his friend’s reply.
“I think so. My dad said he was in a really bad spot and dealing with a ton of stuff, like my new little brother.” He shifted the covers up higher under his chin. “I didn’t either. His name’s Nicky. We just found out about him around the same time I went to the hospital, I think… or maybe a little after. I forget. His mom lies a lot. My dad tried to help her, but she treated him pretty bad.”
Luke lay still, quietly listening to his friend.
“Yeah, that’s what he said, that he loves her. He misses her a lot, I can tell.” He rubbed his eyes with one hand. “I’m going to go to sleep. Don’t forget, this has to be a secret, okay?” Luke held the phone in front of his face to check the time then added, “Goodnight.”
****
As his snores competed with louder snores from upstairs, Noah groaned and turned to his side, oblivious to everything beyond the vivid dream playing out in his head.
“Wait!” Noah reached for Ulie’s arm. “Don’t go.” Taking her by the elbow, he drew her in, touching his forehead to hers.
Ulie spun out of his grasp, creating distance with quick steps. Unruly brown tresses whipped about her face as she planted her feet and turned back to face him. The icy stare she wielded, borne from sunken, coal black eyes, flashed through her mane to hit him squarely in the face. Crouched in a fighting stance, the woman clearly considered him a threat.
“Ulie, please, let me explain.” Noah took a half step forward with palms held out to show her that he meant no harm.
“Stay away from me!” Ulie snarled at Noah, clenching her fists into white-knuckled balls. “You have hurt me enough! No more!”
Freezing in place, Noah tried again. “I never meant to hurt you, Ulie. I love you.”
When the last three words were uttered, Ulie’s eyes softened, returning to their natural deep brown. Her wavy hair settled around her shoulders, no longer affected by an invisible wind.
Noah’s shoulders dropped and his heart ached. All was not lost. He took another half step forward and prepared to take another. Something in her expression told Noah that his relief was premature.
Unclenching her fists, Ulie wrapped her arms around herself in a deep hug, but the constriction didn’t stop. As she coolly stared back at him, her arms snaked around her body beyond the limits of normal anatomy. Her eyes shifted black once more and her tresses lifted; her arms sliding until her shoulders crossed over each other. She began to bend and shrink, and still they moved.
Rooted to the ground, Noah watched in horror as Ulie’s snaking body twisted into itself, collapsing inward faster and faster until she vanished. “Ulie!” he shouted. Too late, she was gone.
Noah blinked, suddenly aware that he lay on the couch in his own living room. It was just before dawn. He sat up. Even if he dragged his ass upstairs, he couldn’t go back to sleep.
Trudging to the kitchen with half-closed eyes, Noah dumped coffee grounds in a filter and turned on the machine. “Shower,” Noah muttered as he rubbed his face. With a mighty yawn, he pointed his carcass at the stairs and lumbered forward.
As he plodded up the steps, a powerful sense of loss tugged at him. The dream had already vanished from his memory, yet Noah knew it must have been about Ulie. “I’ve lost her for good,” he whispered.
Chapter Twenty-Eight (The same day)
Ulie turned off the ignition and blankly stared ahead. The irregular ticking of her car’s metal engine created background music for the cacophony of thoughts occupying her mind. Phillip’s sophisticated mannerisms contrasted wildly with Noah’s rugged good looks and cowboy charm. But Noah’s patience and humor had helped her crawl back from the abyss when she felt lost within her sinkhole of a marriage. He helped her rediscover herself as an individual and recognize that she had value. Phillip could be distant, at times, and his professional manner stifling, yet he was steadfast as a partner and as a companion. It took time, but both men made her feel loved and wanted. Still, only one of them had truly hurt her.
“He did try to apologize,” she admitted.
Unlocking her phone, she re-read Noah’s message.
“Ulie, I’m sorry, and I love you.”
After seeing his face at church that summer, her resolve to villainize him had begun to ebb away. As she grew fonder of Phillip, and as her heart finally began to heal, the walls she erected to keep Noah out were crumbling. Recently, she had even disposed of his moniker, deciding that calling him Silvertongue may not have been fair. “He said he could explain.” Ulie prayed that he could. She hoped at least one of the men she loved before Phillip had been worthy of her effort and affection. She hated feeling like a two-time loser. “I’m smarter than that, right? I wasn’t a complete fool… was I?”
As she eyed his words, Ulie ached to respond.
“No. I can’t be weak; not like that.”
Her head hurt.
Ulie went inside, sluggish and needing a rest.
“Hi Mom!” Miranda cheerfully swung her feet back and forth at the kitchen table, looking up from her homework. She plucked tiny pi
nk earbuds from her ears.
“Hey.” Ulie set the groceries on the floor, kicked off her shoes, and collapsed on the couch.
Miranda hopped on the couch beside her. “How was your day?”
Ulie rolled her head toward her daughter, puckering her lips. “Pretty… pathetic.” She emphasized each P with pouty lips then winked.
Miranda giggled and gave her mom a hug. “How was your big date?”
Ulie swept a hand toward the hedge row of roses on the kitchen counter and puckered her lips. “Pretty…” She started laughing. “I can’t think of a good P word!”
“How about perfect?” Miranda said.
“Good one!” Ulie said.
They shared a laugh and Ulie leaned her head on Miranda’s little shoulder. “It was wonderful; no, more than wonderful!” Ulie lifted her head and scooched around to face Miranda. “He asked me to marry him.”
Miranda’s face fell and her eyes dulled. She squinted at her mother. “Do you love him?”
Ulie leaned back. She expected excitement, maybe some happy squealing. Her judgmental reaction seemed too mature for a girl of her age. “Yes, of course.”
Miranda crossed her arms coolly, reminding Ulie of her family law attorney. “I see. What did you say?”
“I said I needed to think about it.” Ulie narrowed her eyes at the little girl. “Sweetie, I’m not trying to replace your dad, okay? We can talk about this as much as you want. There’s no rush.”
“I know.” Miranda returned to the table and stuffed her earbuds back in. “I’m going to finish my homework.”
Shrugging out of her jacket, Ulie fought her way to her feet, and hung her coat by the door. “I’m going to make some pasta. Are you hungry?” Raising her voice, she tried again. “Miranda!”
Miranda scribbled in her workbook, bobbing her head slightly to the music blaring in her ears.
Ulie sighed and resisted a sudden urge to yank the earbuds out of her daughter’s head. The smell of food would soon pique her interest. If Ulie played her cards right, dinner could be the awl that untied the knot in Miranda’s tongue. Something had been bothering the girl since their weekend getaway, and Ulie wanted to get to the bottom of it. Picking up the grocery bags, she carried them to the kitchen and cleared a space on the overgrown counter to prepare dinner.