Heart of Malice (Alice Worth Book 1)

by Lisa Edmonds

“No.” I hesitated. I should tell him to go.

  “What’s wrong?” Sean brushed my chin with his fingertips.

  He was so warm. “I don’t want you to go.” The words just tumbled out of my mouth before I could stop them.

  He kissed me so gently that I barely felt it. “I don’t want to go either, so that’s fine. Just rest.” He tried to hold my hand, but pain made me hiss and he quickly let go. “I’m sorry. Is there anything I can do to help you? Can Malcolm—”

  I shook my head. “Malcolm’s drained to nothing. Can you get my healing spells for me? There’s a wooden box in my second drawer in the bathroom. Don’t open it; just bring it to me.”

  “Okay.” Sean carefully unwound himself from around me and slid out of bed. He went to the bathroom and returned with my first aid kit. He knelt next to me on the bed and looked at the box. “It’s beautiful. What are these carvings?”

  “Runes to keep anyone from sensing the spells inside.” I took the box from him and traced three runes on its lid before opening it.

  Sean watched as I used my swollen fingers to paw through the spells, then awkwardly lifted out a purple crystal. I closed the box and set it aside. I knew I needed a strong healing spell, and this was the second-strongest in the box. I also knew it was going to hurt, and that was going to make a certain werewolf very unhappy.

  I tried to sound as clinical as possible. “This is a powerful healing spell. I’m pretty sure it will be enough to heal the burns and the rest of the damage, but it’s going to be painful. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen one used, so I just wanted you to know what to expect so you’re not surprised. Don’t touch me until the spell is done.”

  A muscle moved in Sean’s jaw. “Will it be worse than the ones Malcolm used earlier?”

  I considered. “Probably. Those were earth magic. Blood magic is more intense. Maybe you should go downstairs while I do this.”

  Sean’s gaze turned steely. “If you can stand it, so can I.”

  “Okay. Give me some space, then, and get the trash can for me in case I need it.”

  Reluctantly, Sean moved to the edge of the bed and scooted the wastebasket closer.

  I pulled up one side of the nightgown and grabbed one of my pillows. Before I had too much time to tense up, I held the crystal to my abdomen and invoked the spell. “Helios.”

  Magic hit me like a freight train. I put the pillow over my face to muffle my hoarse screams as what felt like liquid ice and burning acid rolled through my body. Instinct made me want to throw the source of the pain across the room, and it took every ounce of my willpower not to. I squashed the pillow to my face as hard as I could and panted out breaths between shrieks as the crystal pulsed, discharging its healing energy into my body in waves. My skin tingled as the magic went to work. I hadn’t used a strong healing spell in a while, and it hurt every bit as badly as I remembered.

  Finally, an eternity later, the pulses began to slow, signaling that the spell was completing its work. As the waves began to ease and numbness set in, I took the pillow off my face. Through the fog of pain and healing magic, I heard a low, reverberating sound.

  It took me a full ten seconds to realize it came from Sean.

  He was pacing back and forth next to the bed and growling, his hands clenched into fists, his eyes bright gold. At that moment, he looked much closer to wolf than man. I felt a little stab of fear, though I knew it was the instinct to protect, not harm, that was calling his wolf close to his skin.

  When he saw me looking at him, he stopped pacing and came to the side of the bed, leaning on it with both hands. “Is it done?”

  I felt a whisper of magic from the crystal, then stillness as the last of its healing power gave out. I dropped the empty crystal on the bed. “Now it’s done.” My voice cracked.

  Sean was shaking with the effort of holding himself back. “Did it work?”

  I moved carefully, testing my limbs. I couldn’t see my skin well in the darkness, but the pain and tightness of the burns were gone. I was achy and nauseous, but it didn’t feel like I was going to throw up, thankfully. “I think it worked.”

  In a flash, Sean was on the bed and pulling me into his arms. “That was just about the worst fucking thing I’ve ever had to stand by and watch,” he growled into my hair, squeezing me so tightly that my bones creaked. “You don’t know how hard it was not to take that thing away from you.”

  “You know you can’t interfere with a spell when it’s working.” His chest muffled my voice. “It’s over. Now I’m all better.”

  He made a strangled sound. “A few hours ago, you were close enough to Death to look him in the eye. Then you went through a healing spell that looked like it hurt as much as a werewolf’s first shift, and now you’re ‘all better.’ How can you be so calm about this?”

  I couldn’t tell him how many times I’d looked Death in the eye, or how many strong healing spells I’d had to withstand over the years. I might not have had much use for them after I escaped my grandfather’s cabal, but during the twenty years I was under its control, I’d teetered on the edge of the abyss many times, only to be yanked back unwillingly into the land of the living. Alice Worth hadn’t had nearly as many run-ins with Death, but Moses Murphy’s granddaughter was no stranger to the coldness of his scythe.

  “I’ve used healing spells before,” I told him.

  He stilled, probably remembering the scars on my back. “I guess you have.”

  I moved the first aid box to the floor next to the bed and put the empty crystal on the nightstand. I got up, stretched carefully, then went to my dresser for pajamas. I grabbed a pair and changed into them in the bathroom.

  When I came back out, Sean raised the covers in a silent invitation. I climbed in next to him, and he wrapped himself around me, as much for his own comfort as mine, I thought. In moments, I fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

  *

  I woke midmorning to my phone blaring. I groaned, untangling myself from Sean to roll over and grab it from the nightstand. I rubbed my eyes, looked at the screen, and tried to sound alert when I answered. “Morning, Natalie.”

  I heard her sobbing. “Alice, I’m so sorry. Are you okay?”

  “I’m fine. I got a little singed, but I’m okay.”

  Beside me, Sean growled. I elbowed him in the ribs and he grunted.

  Natalie sniffled. “Are you sure?”

  “Yes.” I stifled a grimace as I shifted to a more comfortable position on the bed and my sore muscles protested. Sean watched me like a hawk for signs of distress. “How do you feel?”

  She made a sound like a half laugh, half sob. “Like I’ve got the worst hangover I’ve had since college. I could barely get out of bed.”

  “You’ll probably feel a little weak for a day or two. We bound your magic again, so you’re safe. I do have some good news on that front. You have fire and air magic, like your grandmother, but your power is low-to-mid-range, which is easier to learn to control. Also, it keeps you off the cabals’ radar.” I paused.

  “What else?” Natalie prodded.

  “You have an additional ability that’s unusual. Do you remember what I told you about nulls?”

  “Mages who can drain other people’s magic?”

  “Yes. You’re a null.”

  “What’s unusual about that? You said there are lots of them.”

  “It’s unusual because you can do it so quickly. A lot of mages can drain someone else’s energy, but it takes a while. Your ability is lightning fast, and you do it instinctually. You drained me just by touching me.” She gasped. “It’s fine—I’m recovering well enough, but it’s one more thing that you’ll need to learn to control. If you decide to learn, that is.”

  She went quiet. Sean rubbed my back and it felt really good.

  “Don’t make a decision right now when you’re upset. We’ve got time. Your binding spell will hold for as long as you need to decide what to do. You can do something for me, though.”

 
She took a deep breath. “What can I do?”

  “If it’s okay with you, I’ll swing by your house with Malcolm. We’ll double-check to make sure there aren’t any more spells in the library, and then I’d like you to look through your grandmother’s papers and books to see if she has anything that might indicate what was in that hidden compartment. In the meantime, I’m going to track down your aunts and uncle and try to figure out which one of them has been in your house. I’ll need whatever information you have on them, like addresses, phone numbers, work info, photos, et cetera.”

  “I can do that,” she said. Her voice sounded stronger. Giving her a project to work on helped her cope. “I’ll have it for you when you get here.”

  “Great. I’ll head over in about an hour.” We disconnected and I flopped back in the bed.

  Sean lay on his side and propped his head on his hand. “Sounds like a busy day.”

  “It’ll be nice to do some actual investigating today. I don’t want to tempt fate, but I sincerely hope I’m done with the near-death experiences for a while.”

  “Knock on wood,” Sean said and rapped my skull lightly with his knuckles.

  “Ha-ha.”

  We lay in my bed for a while, me on my back staring at the ceiling, Sean on his side facing me. It was a comfortable silence.

  “What are you thinking about?” he asked finally.

  I thought about different ways to answer that question, then settled on simply “You.”

  “What about me?”

  “Well, for one thing, you got your wish.”

  “What wish?”

  I gave him a wry smile. “To see me again.”

  He shook his head. “This was about as far from what I was hoping for as it can get.” He paused. “Having said that…do I get a date?”

  “You don’t give up, do you?”

  “No.” The wolfish smile was back. “How about tonight?”

  I sat up and leaned back against my headboard, putting some distance between us. “Do you think I owe you a date?”

  “I don’t think you owe me anything,” Sean stated. “But I was hoping you might think it was at least worth considering.”

  “I told you yesterday I would think about it.”

  He gave me a look. “You and I both know you’d already decided.”

  He had me there. I didn’t insult him by denying it.

  “I get that you’re cautious,” he said. “I’m sure I would be too, if I’d been through whatever you’ve been through. I’d like to know what I need to do or say for you to give me a chance.”

  Sean could have reminded me of everything he’d done for me since I called him for help yesterday, but he didn’t. He looked sincere when he told me I didn’t owe him anything for saving my life. He was persistent, but I understood the value of single-mindedness; my own stubbornness had kept me alive more times than I cared to count. He was an alpha, but other than a brief moment last night when he’d tried to order me to drink water, he hadn’t tried to control me. All those things were certainly in his favor, along with the great sex, the sense of humor, and our shared love of music and craft beer.

  Unfortunately, on the other side of the equation was my life, and that was a pretty big consideration. It was a lot to risk for a slim chance at happiness.

  Sean watched me for clues as to where my deliberations were headed. I thought I had a pretty good poker face, but he was probably even better than me at reading microexpressions. He sat up, looking resigned.

  The sunlight coming through the window revealed dried blood on his neck and ears. The man had suffered and bled to save me. No one had done anything like that for me in a very long time, and that had to be worth something.

  I took a deep breath. “You asked what you could do to prove yourself.”

  Sean tilted his head. “Yes.”

  “How long have you been in the security business?”

  “Almost twenty years.”

  I blinked. He didn’t look more than thirty-five, but shifters aged more slowly than humans. He must be in his early forties, then. “Permits and licenses current?”

  “All of them.”

  “Willing to sign a nondisclosure and confidentiality agreement?”

  His mouth twitched. “Is this a job interview?”

  “Of a sort.”

  “Then, yes.”

  I was quiet. Sean waited.

  Finally, I said, “Here’s my offer. I have a full day ahead of me, as you heard. Come with me.”

  “In what capacity?”

  “Colleague.”

  He grinned. “Colleague, huh?”

  “That’s the offer. I’ve got to do some work at my client’s home, then track down four people who might have taken something from her house, something that might be dangerous.”

  He turned serious. “How dangerous?”

  “I’m not sure yet. It’s a magical item of some sort, possibly an object of power, or a focus. I’m still looking into that.” I sighed. “Of course, this is all assuming you can take a day off from work. Is that even an option?”

  “Already taken care of. I told my business partner last night that I wouldn’t be in. He’s got everything covered. I thought you might need me today.”

  I stiffened. “‘Need’ you?”

  Sean’s eyes darkened. “Yes, need me. When I texted Ron last night, I was holding you on your front porch and you were unconscious. You’d been burned, gone into shock, and were unresponsive for five hours. I thought you might be dying in my arms. You’d made it very clear I couldn’t take you to the hospital—for reasons I haven’t even asked about, I might add—so I sat there helpless, listening to you breathe and waiting to see if you would live or die.”

  I shifted uncomfortably. “Sean—”

  “Alice, let me say this, please.”

  I waited.

  “I took the day off in case you still hadn’t woken up, or you needed someone to take care of you, even though you hate relying on anyone’s help and get really unreasonably angry about it. Fortunately, thanks to Malcolm and me and the healing spells, you’re well enough to drag yourself out of bed and carry on with this investigation, and I’m free to be a part of your day, as a colleague. And despite your tendency to think the worst of me and my intentions, I’d rather be with you than anywhere else right now.”

  I was shocked by the vehemence in Sean’s words. I felt torn between my resentment and guilt for not thinking more about what he’d gone through.

  I didn’t do well with guilt; it made me angry. I spent so long under the cabal’s control, the two emotions went hand in hand for me: shame over the things I did, combined with fury at my grandfather and his lieutenants for forcing me to make people suffer. On some level, I knew Sean didn’t deserve my anger, but I felt guilty, and that made me mad. I didn’t need any more guilt. I carried so much already, sometimes it crushed me flat.

  On top of that, I was rattled by his statement that he’d rather be with me than anywhere else. This one-night stand was evolving into something that scared me.

  My isolation began when I was eight years old and my grandfather murdered my parents—not that I had many friends before that, but after they died, I had no one. Twenty-one lonely years later, maybe I didn’t have to be alone anymore. Everything Sean had done for me made me think that maybe I could allow him to try to earn my trust.

  “I’m sorry,” I said finally. “If you still want to come with me, you can.” I didn’t want it to sound like I was reluctantly granting him a boon, but I think that’s how it came out.

  Sean didn’t look happy. “You don’t sound very enthusiastic about it.”

  “I’m used to being on my own,” I admitted. “And you’re right: I don’t like relying on other people, or needing help. I’m unreasonable about it, and I’m liable to try to take your head off at any time for no good reason. Sometimes I’m rude, and I’m no good at being friendly because I’ve never had many friends. They were just one more thing that co
uld be used against me by the people who wanted to control me.”

  Sean’s eyes softened, and he reached out to comfort me. I moved away, which clearly frustrated him. “I’m not looking for sympathy; I’m just stating facts. I’m trying to figure out if I can trust you, and maybe letting you come with me today will help me answer that question. Knowing all that, if you want to go with me and find out the hard way how difficult I am to be around, then let’s do it.”

  Sean and I looked at each other. I had no idea what he was thinking. I half expected him to get up and leave.

  Instead, he stretched and grinned at me. “So who gets the shower first?”

  Chapter 12

  I got the shower first while Sean went down to my car for his go-bag. I dropped the wards to let him go in and out without getting fried—again—and shut myself in the bathroom.

  I took off my pajamas, stood in front of the mirror, and looked myself over. My skin looked normal, with no sign of burns. My head and face had thankfully been protected by my jacket, but my hair was a horror show; it had come out the braid I’d put it in yesterday and was sticking out wildly in all directions. Gah. If Sean hadn’t run screaming at the sight of that mess, maybe he was tougher than I already gave him credit for.

  I climbed into the shower with a wide-tooth comb and spent ten minutes just trying to unsnarl the colony of rats’ nests that was my hair. It was painful and required a lot of swearing and conditioner. Finally clean and detangled, I wrapped my hair in a towel and myself in a bathrobe, brushed my teeth, and stuck my first aid kit back in the bathroom drawer before returning to the bedroom.

  I found Sean lying on the bed in his boxers, chest bare and fingers laced behind his head. I took a moment to appreciate the mouthwatering view. From the gleam in his eyes, he was well-aware of the effect he was having on me.

  “Is there any hot water left?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

  “Yes,” I grumped. “Get in there before I change my mind and leave you behind.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” He sprang out of bed and picked me up around the waist, kissing me so thoroughly, my toes curled. Then he put me down and went into the bathroom with his bag.