Heart of Malice (Alice Worth Book 1)

by Lisa Edmonds

The ghost followed me. “I’ll do that right now. You want backup with the werewolf?”

  I squared my shoulders. “No, I want privacy. We have to get this over with.”

  “Okay, Alice. I’ll be downstairs. Summon me if you need me.” Malcolm disappeared through the basement door.

  Before I chickened out, I marched to the door, opened it, and came face-to-face with Sean.

  He wore a faded Rolling Stones T-shirt that stretched across his broad chest, jeans that fit very well, and sneakers. “Hello, Allie.”

  I hadn’t seen him—not in human form—since I left him standing in Hawthorne’s more than a week ago. It felt like eons since that night, and yet, when I looked at him, I felt a surge of something so powerful that it hit me like a physical blow.

  To cover my reaction, I moved over to the porch swing and sat down. That made me think of the night I’d been burned by Natalie’s magic, and how he’d held me on the swing while I was unconscious. I scrubbed my face with my hands.

  “Allie?”

  I peeked through my fingers. Sean was crouched in front of me. “What’s going on?” he asked me.

  I blew out a breath. “I don’t know, Sean. I really don’t. I thought you wanted to turn me into a werewolf. I watched three people get their throats cut, and I was helpless to do anything about it. I damn near died trying to save the city from a crazy woman with a box full of mage blood. I was in a coma for a week. Charles has people watching my house. It’s a lot to process.”

  Sean stared at me. “Well, when you put it that way, it does sound like you’ve got a lot on your mind,” he said finally.

  Despite everything, that made me smile.

  He put his hands on my knees, his eyes turning serious. “We need to talk.”

  “I know. But first, thank you for saving my life at the construction site.”

  Sean looked grim. “When the blood ward fell, I was several miles away. When I got there, Bryan was holding you and Vaughan was trying to get you to drink his blood, but you were already….” He paused. “I hoped you would use our link to reach out to me and tell me where you were, but you never tried.”

  I was startled. “It never occurred to me,” I confessed. “I doubt it would have worked through the blood ward, anyway, but you got there in time to save my life.” I hesitated, then covered his hands with mine and squeezed. “I heard you speaking to me while I was asleep. Thank you for not giving up on me. It just took me a while to find my way back.”

  “So you heard what I told you about Mike?”

  “I heard you. Are you going to have any more problems with this guy?”

  “No. He’s dead.”

  I blinked.

  Sean’s face was hard. “I confronted him the day after the construction site murders. He challenged me and lost. Two of his buddies stepped up after him. They’re dead too.” He looked at me. “Does that bother you?”

  “No.” I’d seen my share of challenges when I was part of my grandfather’s cabal. I remembered how Sean had looked in wolf form, and my mind conjured up an image of him fighting another wolf to the death. It would have been bloody and vicious. His werewolf physiology meant he healed quickly, but three fights was a lot, even for an alpha. “I’m glad you’re all right.”

  Sean took my hands. “You must have spent some time around a pack at some point,” he said, his eyes searching my face. “Most people aren’t this calm when they find out they’re alone with someone who recently killed three people.”

  I didn’t comment on the first part of his statement. “You killed them in a fair challenge,” I said, raising my shoulder in a half shrug. “They were trying to kill you. I know what it means to be an alpha.” I’d assumed Sean had fought and killed numerous times as a wolf; alphas didn’t get—or keep—that position by popular vote. “Mike gave you no choice. He sealed his own fate when he tried to get you killed.”

  “I tried to tell you it was a lie.”

  I shifted uncomfortably. “I know.”

  Sean pinned me with his stare. “I walked through Natalie’s house wards when you called me. I helped Malcolm save your life. I held you and kept you from hurting yourself when you were delirious and hallucinating.”

  I’d hallucinated after being burned? I didn’t remember that at all. Neither he nor Malcolm had ever said anything to me about it.

  While I was still trying to wrap my brain around that news, Sean continued. “I did all those things because you are worth it, and I wouldn’t hesitate to do them again. I let you set all the limits and call all the shots while we were working. You say you know what it means to be an alpha, but I’m not sure you know how difficult it was to let someone else have that much control. Believe me when I say that I have never done anything like that before.” His gaze was fierce. “Before I met you, I never wanted to do anything like that for anyone who wasn’t part of my pack. And despite everything we went through and everything I’ve done, you never gave me a chance.”

  I said nothing. What could I say? He was right.

  Sean wasn’t going to let me get away with silence. “Didn’t I deserve the benefit of the doubt, Allie?”

  “Yes, you did. I’m sorry I didn’t give you the chance to explain. I was so angry that I couldn’t think.”

  “I can understand that.” Sean squeezed my hands. “My guess is that up to now, you’ve probably known a lot more betrayal and lies than people you could trust.”

  He wasn’t wrong about that either, but that wasn’t a topic I was interested in discussing.

  Sean rose, then sat on the porch swing next to me. “What happened between you and Vaughan last night, after you woke up?”

  I looked at him.

  “Did he hurt you?” When I didn’t immediately respond, Sean’s eyes turned bright gold. “He did,” he snarled. “Tell me.”

  “He didn’t hurt me. He kissed me and…wanted more. I said no, and he left.”

  “It was more than that,” Sean said flatly. “I felt you through our link earlier. That’s one of the reasons I came over.”

  I scowled. “Were you eavesdropping on me?”

  Sean shook his head. “Not on purpose. I had the link wide open while you were in the coma, trying to sense you. I closed it when Adri Smith texted me that you were awake, but my shields must have gone down while I was asleep. I thought at first it was a dream, but then I realized what I was sensing. I felt your desire, and then I felt your terror. I knew you were with Vaughan. I was throwing clothes on to come over here when the fear subsided.”

  “He healed me with his blood. I wasn’t thinking clearly, and I asked him to leave.”

  “But not before he scared you so badly that I felt it all the way across town. He didn’t want to take no for an answer, did he?”

  “I took care of it. It’s over. I don’t want a repeat of what happened over here a week ago.”

  Sean’s anger prickled on my skin. “The vampire and I have unfinished business,” he informed me.

  My stomach lurched. “He was wrong about you and your supposed plan to infect me. Please don’t—”

  “That’s not all of it,” Sean said. “I’d have confronted him earlier, but he had you until last night and I’m not going to jeopardize you again. I underestimated Vaughan’s ruthlessness last time. I won’t repeat that mistake.”

  “What do you mean?” I asked with a frown.

  “Vaughan deliberately pushed me through your window.”

  I stared at him.

  “I had no intention of letting our…disagreement endanger you. I was trying to take the fight into the yard. Vaughan maneuvered us in front of the window, then pushed me through it.” Sean’s eyes became amber fire. “Even if he was just trying to use your wards to injure me, he knew you were standing right there. I don’t know if he wanted you injured or if he simply had no regard for your safety, but I can tell you that he did it on purpose.”

  I tried to remember the scene the night Charles confronted Sean at my house. Sean had come t
hrough the window first, but when I replayed it in my head, the wolf’s body had its back to the window. Charles would have been in position to take the fight through the window and into my house.

  My thoughts raced. Why would Charles have wanted to injure me? He’d implied Sean was responsible for my wounds, thus further driving the wedge between us, and he’d held Sean in custody, effectively preventing Sean from warning me. Charles had offered to heal me that night, knowing his blood would influence me. I’d certainly lowered my guard around him after that. He’d played me like a violin, and I hadn’t even realized it.

  Cold fingers closed around my heart. Charles had several opportunities to taste my blood: before the burner spell turned it to ash, from my driveway after Ray Browning hit me on the head, when I’d been bleeding at the construction site, and then while I lay defenseless in a coma. If Charles had bitten me while I slept, I wouldn’t know; vampires didn’t leave fang marks unless they intended to brand their cattle.

  In any case, if he’d tasted my blood, he knew I was no mid-level mage. There was a good chance my identity as Alice Worth had been irrevocably compromised, at least as far as Charles was concerned.

  There was little I could do about it at this point except stay the hell away from him and make sure his prediction about us being lovers never came true.

  “Allie, I’m sorry. It’s my fault. I should have protected you better.”

  “It’s not your job to protect me.” My voice sounded mechanical, flat. “I knew he was a threat. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine.”

  “If he ever touches you again, I’ll kill him,” Sean stated.

  “If he ever touches me again without my permission, you won’t have to.” I spent more than twenty years belonging to a cabal, with no control over my own body, and nearly died to regain my autonomy. I’d be damned if I’d let Charles, or anyone, take that away from me again.

  We looked at each other.

  “You mean that,” Sean said.

  “I do.”

  Sean didn’t ask how it was possible I could kill Charles; he simply accepted it as fact. Maybe I shouldn’t have been surprised by his confidence in me, but I was.

  I took a deep breath. “I have a couple of things I have to say.”

  “Say them.”

  “You’re an alpha werewolf. You have to have a werewolf mate, and soon, or you could lose your pack. I’m not a werewolf, and I never will be. There’s no future for us together.”

  “My mate doesn’t have to be a werewolf.”

  I felt like my world had just tilted ninety degrees.

  “Traditionally, yes, the alpha pair are both shifters, but there’s no written law that says that has to be the case. In fact, there are a number of alphas with nonshifter mates. Several are mages. It’s not unprecedented.”

  I looked him in the eye and lowered my shields to feel the link that stretched between us. It was thin and fragile but still strong enough to sense him. “Did you seek me out because I’m a mage and you want a mage for a mate?”

  Sean met my gaze and didn’t blink. “No.”

  Truth. I relaxed minutely.

  Sean continued. “I saw you at the bar, and I thought you were the most beautiful woman there. I wanted to be with you for the night. By the next morning, I knew I wanted more than just one night.”

  Truth. Now I had to ask the hard questions.

  “You created a link between us without my permission. Just when I thought I could trust you this much”—I held up my thumb and index finger a centimeter apart —“you tried to make me your mate without me knowing. That’s not something I’m going to be able to get past, not very easily. Why did you do it?”

  Sean rubbed his face. When he looked back at me, his eyes were troubled. “I didn’t intend to form a link with you. When we were together here that last night, it felt like you were in my head. I don’t know why it happened; I must have lowered my shields and reached out to you without realizing I’d done it. My wolf recognized a strong female he thought would be a good mate and created the link. I sensed something new in my head, like a door opening up, but I didn’t understand what it meant, not until later that night. Suddenly, I could feel your emotions, and then I realized what had happened.”

  Truth.

  I leaned back in the swing and stared at him. Acting on instinct, I had lowered my shields to feel closer to Sean during the most intimate moments of making love. I should have known that with magic and metaphysics, there could always be unexpected outcomes. His wolf had simply responded to my presence in Sean’s mind.

  I felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach.

  “I screwed up not telling you about the link the minute I figured it out,” Sean said. “I don’t know if you’ll believe me, but I was going to tell you as soon as we got back here from the bar.”

  I barely heard him over the rush of guilt I sensed through the link. I’d decided not to tell him at the time about lowering my shields, worried he would be upset I had seen some of his memories. My instinct was always not to volunteer information that could be used against me. I’d learned that the hard way. I wasn’t in the cabal anymore, though, and Sean was not my grandfather. I swallowed hard.

  “Allie? What are you thinking?”

  “It’s my fault, Sean,” I blurted out. “The link is my fault.”

  “What? How is it your fault?”

  “When I….” I cleared my throat. “When we were having sex, I lowered my shields. I wanted to feel what you were feeling. I saw little flashes of memories, of you as a wolf running through the woods at night. Nothing specific—just glimpses, really—and I saw myself through your eyes for a few seconds.”

  Sean looked stunned. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I thought you’d be angry that I accidentally read your mind.” I looked away. “I should have said something. It’s just….”

  To my surprise, Sean took my hands in his. “Thank you, Allie.”

  Confused, I frowned at him. “For what?”

  “For being honest and telling me about what you saw. I wish you’d told me then, but I can understand why you didn’t. Now at least I know why it happened.”

  I was silent.

  “Alice?” he prodded.

  “I don’t get it,” I said.

  “You don’t get what?”

  “What you could possibly see in me.”

  Sean stared at me.

  “I had sex with you, then I kicked you to the curb with no intention of ever calling you. After you nearly killed yourself getting through Natalie’s house wards to save me, I made you work for the dubious privilege of a date with me. Then I dumped you like last week’s garbage the second someone told me something about you that I immediately believed, instead of giving you the benefit of the doubt, or letting you explain yourself. I blamed you for a link I caused, and I almost let myself get seduced by a vampire whose ulterior motives have ulterior motives. I’m an asshole and an idiot.”

  Sean said nothing.

  I kept going. “I’m rude, secretive, and stubborn, and I have massive trust issues.”

  Sean waited. “Are you done?” he asked me finally.

  I thought about it. “Honestly, I’m a mess, but you know that by now, which is why I have no idea—”

  For the second time today, I was interrupted by a kiss.

  This time, however, my desire wasn’t tempered by fear—only by my uncertainty over why Sean Maclin, alpha werewolf, wanted to put up with me and my shit. It was not enough, however, to make me want to stop, not even close. And if Charles’s people were watching, well, so much the better. I hoped they reported it all back to him, every last detail.

  Sean pulled back, his eyes flashing.

  “What?” I asked, breathless.

  “I can feel your confusion. You really don’t know how incredible you are, do you?”

  I scoffed.

  Sean leaned forward until his forehead touched mine, his eyes glowing softly. “You are b
rave, strong, beautiful, and literally magical.”

  I snorted inelegantly. “One out of four.”

  “Four out of four,” he corrected me. “I’m an alpha. We’re always right.”

  I laughed.

  “What now?” he asked.

  I thought about it. “Why don’t you come inside. I still have my turntable and my couch. We can listen to side two of Dark Side of the Moon and figure out where we go from here.”

  Sean kissed the tip of my nose. “Sounds like a plan.”

  Chapter 28

  The next morning, I was sitting in Natalie’s living room with a cat in my lap and another on the arm of the chair. My client was curled up on the couch across from me. We both had mugs of tea.

  Natalie told me how Betty’s lawyer, William Benson, showed up on her doorstep with Amelia, who tore apart the house wards and took her out with a spell just before she could get to the safety of the library.

  “That’s what we figured,” I said. “Malcolm and I both felt when your wards went down, but by the time we got to your house, you were already gone.”

  Natalie rubbed her arms. “I don’t remember anything until I woke up tied to the table. I could see Amelia standing over you, and Peter, Ray, and Kathy were dead. Deborah was frozen, like a statue, and there was blood everywhere. I was in such a daze, I barely remember getting myself untied.”

  “You were incredible,” I told her sincerely. “If it weren’t for you, we’d both probably be dead. Nice work with the pipe, by the way. You’ve got a hell of a swing.”

  “I paid for my art history degree with a softball scholarship,” she said, wrapping her arms around her knees. “Never thought it would save my life.”

  Benson had vanished without a trace; what Amelia had done with him, I had no idea. His disappearance had been in the local news, but so far, no one had connected him with the construction site murders.

  “How are you doing with all of this?” I asked.

  Natalie blew out a breath. “I’m doing okay today,” she said. “Sometimes it’s hard to believe that I actually…killed someone.” She swallowed hard. “But she murdered three people, and she was about to kill you and me too. I know I didn’t have any choice. I’ve been talking about it with Malcolm, and that helps.”