A Heart So Wild

by Johanna Lindsey

  “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said, exasperated.

  “I know he loves you,” she stated flatly, “and he regrets all the mistakes he made with you. And I know he’d give anything for another chance with you.”

  “You mean another chance to turn me into what he wants me to be,” he said, giving her a cynical look.

  “No. He’s learned his lesson. Oh, God sakes, Chandos, this is your home,” she said in exasperation. “Doesn’t that mean anything to you? It means something to me. It’s why I’m here.”

  “Why? Because you thought this was the one place you could hide from me? That I wouldn’t risk coming here?”

  That stung. “No!” she cried. “Because this is where you left me, so I felt closer to you here.”

  He certainly wasn’t expecting that. The declaration robbed him of the head of steam he’d been building, leaving him deflated. Strangely, it also left him feeling elated.

  “Cateyes.” His voice was rough.

  His hand touched her cheek, his fingers gliding into the soft hair around her ear. He leaned closer. His lips touched hers, and it was like the breaking of a dam. Passion flooded them, drowning out everything else.

  In mere moments their clothes were shed and their bodies were clinging as tightly as their mouths, each body suffering an agony of impatience. Chandos made love with a fierce possessiveness he had never shown before, and Courtney welcomed him with a savage intensity she had never equaled before.

  They spoke with their bodies, saying all they couldn’t say in words, each offering the other all the love and want and need that had always been there.

  Tomorrow their lovemaking might be only another memory. But tonight, Courtney was Chandos’s woman.

  Chapter 43

  CAREFULLY, quietly, Courtney opened the door to her bedroom a few inches and peeked in. Chandos was still sleeping, and no wonder. Since he’d left her, he had gotten thirty hours of sleep, which wasn’t enough for five days, let alone ten.

  She closed the door quietly and stood there gazing at Chandos for a moment. She was going to let him sleep as long as he liked. She wasn’t going to tell anyone he was here, either. Maggie knew, but she wasn’t going to warn Fletcher. She’d said it would do the old coot good to be surprised. Maggie was sure Chandos wouldn’t just take off.

  Courtney hoped she was right, but she wasn’t as confident as Maggie was. Oh, there was no denying Chandos still wanted her. For a long, long while last night he had proved that in every way possible. But that didn’t mean he wanted her forever. And it didn’t mean he wouldn’t go off and leave her again.

  Yet there was real hope now. He had come back. And he’d confessed that he couldn’t stay away from her. Knowing that was enough to send Courtney’s spirits soaring.

  She put his saddlebags, which Maggie had brought in earlier, in the corner. Then she approached the mirror to check her appearance once more. She was still amazed at how radiant she looked this morning. Had love put that sparkle in her eyes? No, love had its ups and downs, as she could surely attest to by now! It was happiness that made her feel like laughing, singing, shouting even. And that happiness wasn’t easy to contain.

  For a while she sat by the window, watching Chandos sleep. That wasn’t enough. She knew she should leave the room, go find something to do to keep her occupied. But she couldn’t shake the fear that when she came back later, Chandos would be gone. That was absurd, for he wouldn’t disappear this time without at least telling her when she would see him again. He had to give her that much consideration. That was the only thing she was sure of, however, so she didn’t want to let him out of her sight.

  She approached the bed slowly, meaning not to disturb him. She just wanted to be closer. After a few minutes standing by the bed, she lay down, very carefully. He didn’t stir. He slept so soundly, which was unlike him, and just went to show how exhausted he was. He was so tired that he wouldn’t wake even if…

  She touched him, her fingers running lightly over the hard muscles on his chest. He lay with only the thin sheet covering his long limbs, and Courtney could envision all of him. He didn’t make a sound when she touched him. He was still fast asleep, and Courtney got bolder, letting her fingers glide over the sheet, along his flanks, over his hard thighs.

  And then she gasped as a particular area of him stirred, and he chuckled. “Don’t stop now, kitten.”

  Hot color stained her neck and cheeks, vivid against her yellow lawn gown. “You weren’t really asleep, were you?” she accused him.

  “A drawback from the habits of the trail.”

  His eyes were sleepy as he gazed at her. He was so incredibly sexy, but Courtney was embarrassed now, and quickly vacated the bed. “Your gear is here, in case you want to shave. Unless you want to go back to sleep… I didn’t mean to disturb you. You can sleep some more, if you like. No one knows you’re here.”

  “Not yet.” He sat up. “But it won’t be long before someone spots Surefoot behind Maggie’s house.”

  “Maggie took care of that.” She grinned. “She dragged him into her parlor.”

  “What?”

  Courtney giggled. “I couldn’t believe it when I saw him there, but he’s tolerating it just fine. Maggie’s making up for telling Fletcher you brought me here. She said if anything happens this time, it should be up to you.”

  Chandos grunted, running a hand over his jaw. “I guess I could use a shave.”

  Courtney pointed to his saddlebags in the corner, then sat down on the bed to watch him. “Will you see your father?” she asked tentatively.

  “No,” he said flatly, putting on a pair of black pants. He glanced up, giving her a stern look. “And don’t try to patch things up, woman. I want nothing to do with that man.”

  “He’s gruff and hard, and he bellows a lot, but he’s not so bad, Chandos.”

  He gave her a look and she sighed, lowering her eyes.

  After a while she looked up to see him lathering his face by the washstand. She inquired hesitantly, “Did you find him, Chandos, the man in San Antonio?”

  His back stiffened. “I found him. He’d had his trial, and he was set to hang.”

  “Then you didn’t kill him?”

  “I broke him out of jail,” he said dispassionately. He slowly wiped his face clean, remembering. “It wasn’t hard. Smith had no friends in San Antonio, so no one was expecting anything.”

  Chandos turned around then. She had never seen such a cold, hard look in his eyes, or heard such hate in anyone’s voice. “I broke both of his arms, among other things, and then I hanged him. But the bastard was already dead. He must have suspected something. Maybe he recognized Trask’s horse that I had waiting for him, I don’t know. Maybe he just didn’t trust my reasons for breaking him out. But he attacked me as soon as we stopped. He got hold of my knife and we fought over it. In the fight, he fell on it, and he died within seconds. It wasn’t enough!” he said, anguished. “It wasn’t enough for what he did to White Wing.”

  Courtney crossed the room and put her arms around him. It was some time before she felt his arms respond, but at last he drew her closer.

  “Was White Wing your sister?”

  “Yes.”

  In a distant voice, as though from far away, he told her about that day, about coming home to find his mother and sister raped and killed. Before he finished, Courtney was sobbing. It was he who ended up comforting her.

  “Don’t cry, cateyes. I never could stand to hear you cry. And it’s over now. They aren’t crying anymore, either. They can sleep in peace now.”

  He kissed her gently, and then he kissed her again. This was one way to draw solace from each other—and to forget.

  Chapter 44

  IT was early afternoon when Courtney left the bed. Chandos was sleeping again, and this time she was determined to let him. It still upset her terribly to think of his mother and sister, but she told herself she wouldn’t think about it. It had happened four years ago,
and he had learned to live with it—though how, she couldn’t begin to imagine.

  Just as she finished dressing, there was a knock, and she glanced quickly at the bed. Chandos had heard it too, and his eyes were open. There was a warning in them, but he needn’t have worried. She wasn’t going to give his presence away to anyone.

  She crossed quickly to the door, opening it a crack. “Yes?”

  “You have a visitor, senorita,” said one of the Mexican girls who helped Maggie. “A Sehor Taylor. He is waiting on the porch with Sefior Straton and—”

  “Taylor?” Courtney interrupted sharply. “Did you say Taylor?”

  “Si.”

  “Thank you.” Courtney closed the door with a bang, in the grip of a rage like nothing she had ever felt before. “Reed Taylor! I don’t believe it!” she cried, furious. “How dare he show up after what he did? Having me kidnapped! That-that-oh!”

  “Courtney! Goddammit, come back here!” Chandos shouted as she stormed out of the room. He swore savagely, because she’d kept right on going and he couldn’t very well stop her without a stitch of clothes on.

  In full steam, Courtney reached the front door and threw it open. There was Reed in his dark broadcloth suit and ruffled shirt, hat in hand, as immaculate as always. He was smiling at her. Smiling!

  “You’re crazy!” she hissed at him as she stepped out onto the porch, aware of no one but Taylor. “Do you know I could have you arrested for what you did?”

  “Now, Courtney, honey, is that any way to greet me after I came all this way to find you?”

  She blinked. God sakes, she should have remembered what a one-track mind he had. Everything she said had always bounced right off his thick head.

  “Don’t call me honey,” she said savagely. “Don’t even call me Courtney. Didn’t you get the message when your men didn’t come back? I didn’t want to be found, Reed. You had no right to send those—those cutthroats after me!”

  He took her arm forcibly and steered her away from the men standing around watching. But he didn’t think to lower his voice, and he didn’t realize he was igniting more tempers than just hers.

  “One of those men did get back, Courtney— barely alive. That gunslinger you took off with had cut out his tongue and chopped off his A HCAKl 5U WILD $51

  hand! Good God, do you think I could leave you out there with that madman after I found out what he’d done?“

  “I’m sure the story is a gross exaggeration,” Courtney said smoothly.

  “I’ll say,” Chandos said casually, having arrived in time to overhear. “I only slit the fellow’s tongue, after he told me he’d left Courtney behind in camp to be raped by one of his cohorts. And I broke the first two fingers of his gunhand for good measure, before I staked him to a tree. He just had a low tolerance for pain, that’s all. How’s your tolerance, Taylor?”

  Reed ignored that and demanded, “What’s he doing here, Courtney?”

  Courtney didn’t answer. She was staring at Chandos, who stood in the doorway wearing only pants and gunbelt. She knew he was making a considerable effort to keep his hand away from his gun. And then she noticed the others for the first time—cowboys watching, and Fletcher, grinning from ear to ear as he gazed at Chandos, Sawtooth frowning at Reed, and behind Sawtooth… her father! God sakes, her father! He’d seen the whole thing!

  “Reed, why don’t you leave?” Courtney suggested. He hadn’t let go of her, and he was now wearing the bulldog expression she knew so well. It was useless, but she said anyway, “You’ve come down here for nothing, Reed. I’m not going to marry you, and I’m certainly not going back to Kansas with you. And if you try to force it, as you already did once, you’ll have the law on your tail.”

  “You’re upset,” Reed replied tersely. “If you’ll just give me a chance—”

  “She already gave you a chance, Taylor—a chance to leave,” Chandos growled, stepping forward. “Now you’ll have to deal with me. Get your goddamn hands off my woman.”

  Reed faced him, but he still didn’t let go of Courtney’s arm. “You going to draw on me, fastgun?” he said, sneering. “You going to shoot me in front of all these witnesses?” He nodded to encompass their audience.

  “Uh-uh.” Smiling, Chandos drew his gun, twirled it, and handed it to Courtney. “This won’t take long, cateyes,” he muttered just as his fist came up and connected with Reed’s jaw.

  Reed flew backward, and Courtney was jerked forward. But Chandos caught her around the waist, keeping her from tumbling down the porch steps along with Reed. Then he set her aside with an apologetic grin, and dived after the fallen man.

  Courtney stood there at the top of the steps, watching two grown men try to kill each other with their fists. She didn’t think to try and stop them. She was still in too much of a daze from hearing Chandos call her “my woman.” He’d said it in front of his father. He’d said it in front of her father. God sakes, did he mean it?

  An arm encircled her shoulders, and she glanced up. But her father wasn’t looking at her. He was watching the fight.

  “I don’t suppose you objected to what that young man said?” he asked casually.

  “No.”

  She heard a particularly grueling punch and turned to see Chandos hit the dust hard. She took an involuntary step forward, but he was already back on his feet, and throwing a hard right to Reed’s midsection. Still, she began to worry. Chandos was taller, but Reed was built like a bull.

  “Can I assume this is the man who brought you to Texas?” Edward’s tone was still casual.

  “Yes, yes.” Her mind was on the fight.

  “Courtney, honey, look at me.”

  She dragged her attention away from Chandos. “Yes, Daddy?”

  “Do you love him?”

  “Oh, yes! More than I thought possible.” Then, she ventured, hesitantly, “Do you mind?”

  “I’m not quite sure,” Edward said. “Is he always this… impetuous?”

  “No, but he’s always protective of me.”

  “Well, at least there’s that in his favor,” her father said with a sigh.

  “Oh, Daddy, don’t judge him until you get to know him. Just because he’s a gunfighter—”

  “There are lots of good men who are gun-fighters, honey. I know that.”

  “And he’s been alone for so long that he’s not used to being sociable or friendly, so don’t mistake—”

  “There are lots of good quiet men too, honey,” he said.

  She grinned sheepishly. “You really are going to be open-minded about it, aren’t you?”

  “Do I dare not be?” He chuckled. “I wouldn’t care to have a taste of those fists myself.”

  “Oh, he wouldn’t!” She started to reassure him, then realized he was only teasing her.

  A cheer went up from the cowboys who’d been watching the fight. They’d quickly figured out who to cheer for, what with Fletcher hanging over the porch railing, shouting encouragement in his blustery voice. Right now Fletcher and Sawtooth were clapping each other on the back as if they had won the fight.

  Courtney looked for Chandos in the group of well-wishers crowding around him. He was bent over, favoring his midsection. His face hadn’t fared too well, either.

  “It looks like my services might be needed,” Edward called to her from the porch.

  “Yes,” Courtney agreed, intent on Chandos.

  “I meant for the other fellow.” Edward chuckled.

  “What? Oh, don’t waste your time,” Courtney said without an iota of sympathy. Reed was knocked out cold on the ground. “If anyone deserved a beating, he did. Why, you wouldn’t believe the gall of that man. He just won’t take no for an answer.”

  “Well, let’s hope he got the message this time, cateyes,” Chandos said as he stumbled toward her. “I’d hate to have to shoot the bastard just because he’s such a stubborn, pigheaded cuss.”

  “Oh, Chandos, sit down!” she gasped, leading him toward the porch.

  “Don�
��t start telling me what to do, woman.”

  She pushed him down to sit on the steps. “God sakes, look at you.” She pushed the hair away from his brow, studying his face. “Daddy, you’d better get your bag.”

  “Daddy?” Chandos turned to look behind him, and grimaced. “You could have given me some warning.”

  She couldn’t help grinning. “He enjoyed the fight.”

  Chandos grunted.

  “So did your father.”

  He swore again, his eyes falling on Fletcher, who was giving his men orders to dump Taylor on his horse and send him back where he came from. “What is this, a goddamn family reunion?”

  She knew he was being surly only because he felt cornered. “It could be if you let it,” she ventured.

  “I came here for you, woman, nothing else.”

  “Did you?”

  “You know I did.”

  Suddenly, her tone matched his, “Then say so. I haven’t heard you say it, Chandos.”

  He scowled. His father was standing only a few feet away now, leaning against the porch railing. Sawtooth was sitting on the railing next to him, trying not to grin. Neither of them tried in the least to hide their interest in the conversation between her and Chandos. Worse, her father was listening just as keenly.

  Chandos felt all their eyes on him, but mostly he felt Courtney’s, determined, fiery. And suddenly only hers mattered.

  “You’re my woman, cateyes. You’ve been my woman since I first laid eyes on you.”

  That didn’t satisfy her. “Say it!”

  He grinned and jerked her down onto his lap, where she sat stiffly, waiting, until at last he said, “I love you. Is that what you want to hear? I love you so much I’ve got no direction without you.”

  “Oh, Chandos.” She melted against him, wrapping her arms around his neck. “I love—”

  “Uh-uh.” He stopped her. “You better think real carefully before you say anything, cateyes, because if you give me your love, I’m not going to let you take it back. I can’t keep worrying about whether or not I can make you happy. I’ll try my best but there isn’t going to be any changing your mind later. Do you understand what I’m saying? If you’re going to be my woman, there’s no way in hell I’ll ever let you go.”