Axxios and Braxxus

by Alana Khan

  Warm tears gather behind my lids. I feel Braxx stiffen behind me.

  “Could you...could you be wrong, doc?” Braxx’s voice is rough with emotion.

  “I can show you the scans. They’re unambiguous. I’m sorry, Braxx. Completely severed,” he pauses, I guess for us to begin to assimilate the information. “I’ve put him in an induced coma. I don’t want him moving until the swelling goes down, that could exacerbate his condition.

  “I suggest you talk to him. Although he’s in a coma, research shows some part of his brain might hear you. Then get some real rest in your own bed. There’s nothing you can do for him right now. His body has to recover.”

  Braxx lifts me off his lap and stands, twisting his head right and then left until it cracks. He moves toward Axx’s room, then turns toward me when I don’t follow.

  “You’re not coming in?” his muscles are slack. He looks tired and fearful.

  “I figured you’d want to be alone with your gem.”

  “He needs me, Angel, and I need you.”

  Braxxus

  These last two days have been interminable. I’ve tried to stay focused on caring for Axx as well as deepening my bond with Brie. We’ve both been so distracted and preoccupied, all we’ve done is eat, sleep and care for my brother.

  I’ve watched Brie with Axx and can visualize her performing those same actions for me when I was in a coma only a few days ago. She’s so tender with him, and thorough. She keeps him clean, moves his limbs, and maintains a steady stream of positive talk. She’s massaging him right now.

  “And when you’re better, we’re going to do some decorating in your room. You know, you just can’t keep it so stark and functional. We’ll have to put our heads together and think of something that pleases you.

  “Is there a planet you’ve always wanted to visit?” she pauses as she rearranges the sheet that covers him to get access to his other leg. “I can tell what you’re thinking, that the last planet didn’t work out so well. But really, if you think about it, I think we’ve already encountered the worst-case scenario, it's been pre-disastered. There’s nowhere to go but up…”

  She just chatters on, talking about nothing, her voice soothing as her strong, competent hands slide along his skin and manipulate the muscles underneath.

  Dr. Drayke enters and disconnects the intravenous tube that has been administering the med that’s keeping Axx in a coma. “The drug should clear his system in an hoara or less. He’ll probably be disoriented when he wakes.” He snaps the rails up on both sides of the bed.

  “He’ll soon realize he’s paralyzed. His mental state is as important as his physical state.” He’s behind Brie, who’s leaning over, working on Axx’s arm. He gives me a penetrating look, “We have to keep his spirits up.”

  Maybe it’s the statement, or maybe the doleful expression on his face, but this highlights the severity of the prognosis. My stomach feels like it’s falling through the floor when I realize with finality that my gem will never walk again.

  Dr. Drayke leaves and Brie resumes her soothing chatter. I steeple my fingers in front of my face and try to come to terms with reality.

  Axxios

  Climbing up from sleep doesn’t feel right. Nothing feels right. My head is foggy and my body’s heavy. It takes a full minima for my eyelids to obey my command to open. When I do, Braxx and Brie are in front of me; their expressions confirm my suspicion that something is terribly amiss.

  “What’s wrong?” I ask, my throat dry and scratchy, my voice wavery as an adolescent male’s.

  Brie just shakes her head side to side, eyes widening.

  “You were hurt when we were escaping the attack on Fairea,” Braxx informs me. His eyes look up and to the right. A secondary school student knows that’s a clue someone’s lying.

  A shooting pain spikes from my shoulders down my back—I know he’s not lying about me being hurt. I glance at Brie for confirmation, her eyes skitter from mine and she gets hard at work massaging my feet, presenting her back so I can’t read her expression.

  Realization dawns slowly—I can’t feel a thing she’s doing. I slide my gaze to my twin before I say, “that feels great, Brie.”

  Braxx’s eyes round in surprise—he didn’t expect me to feel anything.

  Just to verify my suspicions, I try to move my toes. Nothing. Lift my knees. No. Wiggle my fingers? Yes.

  “I’m paralyzed,” I announce. I see my twin’s muscles relax. Releasing a long sigh, he sags into the chair near my bed and grabs my hand.

  “Gods Axx, I’m sorry.”

  “What happened?”

  Braxx explains about the shrapnel, the radiation, and his difficult decision about whether to remove the metal or keep it in.

  “You did the right thing.” That’s right, I instruct myself, stay focused on assuaging his emotions—don’t get buried by your own. “The other choice sounds like certain death.”

  “I know, but I also knew you couldn’t bear to be paralyzed.” He raises the head of the bed one micron at a time, asking every modicum if I’m in any pain.

  “I think the fact of the matter is, brother, that I’m feeling no pain.”

  Gods, I wish that was true. My bottom half, no, more than half, feels heavy and like it’s crawling with insects. My emotions are whirling inside, and for the last twenty years, I’ve had no practice dealing with them. But Braxx is feeling guilty, and if I can focus on relieving his pain, it will also relieve some of mine.

  “The doc says this might be temporary,” he explains, but his eyes dart up and to the right—lying again. “There’s simply no way of knowing until the swelling goes down, and that could be weeks.” He’s nodding and for a moment I picture our mother making that exact same movement when she soothed us during the Milagran fever. Each and every day for weeks she nodded her head and told us it would all be better tomorrow.

  Sly devil, Braxx. You really think you can lie to your gem? Although we didn’t have our twinlink for an annum, did he forget it’s working now? If I hadn’t detected his lies in other ways, I could easily have felt it through our link.

  “Sit, you two.” I pat the bed for Brianna to sit, this will give her a reprieve from studiously avoiding me. I need to say this quickly before my emotions catch up with me. “I’m certain I’ll be fine. If the doc says it might be a few weeks before I’m up and around and making you both miserable again, then so be it. Quit moping. When can I remove this undignified rag,” I lift the neckline of my hospital gown, “and convalesce in our room?”

  On the “our room” comment I spear Brie with a penetrating gaze. That was as close as I could come to an overt order for her to join us there. If my suspicions about the true status of my health are correct, the guilt I just loaded on her sealed the deal.

  Dr. Drayke joins us and checks my vitals. I should ask to see the scans of my spine on his medpad, but I don’t—the look on their faces confirms the truth. I need some time alone to figure out my next steps. I’m the gold. I do the difficult stuff. I always protected Braxx...and I always will.

  Braxxus

  Brie and I are getting Axx settled into bed in our cabin. I had a nagging feeling that something was wrong, things just didn’t seem right. When I lift him up to transfer him from the gurney, my twinlink senses something is vastly wrong. He’s hiding his emotions from me.

  When we were teens and he’d been with a female, I discovered the hazy gray wall he projected when he was keeping a secret. I shouldn’t be angry, I’m keeping things from him right now as well.

  I should have known—he’s taking this too well. My twin would never just listen to the news that he’s paralyzed and then complain about his hospital gown. I’d rather hear him grumble, at least it would mean he’s processing this. His silence is far worse.

  Listen to him, talking to Brianna about what’s for dinner like it’s the most important thing on his mind.

  “Whatever Maddie made, make sure you bring four portions back to our room,”
he instructs Brie. “Braxx still needs to put on some weight.” He turns to me and casually asks, “Who’s flying this thing, anyway?”

  “Tyree’s been sleeping on the bridge since we left Fairea. From what I hear, he did an admirable job getting us out of there in a hurry. We’re somewhere in the Tallis sector. Savannah is manning our guns, Callista’s on comms. Since we have nowhere we need to go right now, not a lot of money for fuel, and an inexperienced pilot at the helm, I thought it was a good plan to sit still until we know where we’re bound for.

  “Zar checks in with me daily, wants to know when I’ll be ready to help. I was thinking, now that you’re back among the living, that I might pull a shift tomorrow. Brie’s offered to stay with you while I do that. I know Cally was looking around for some Cestus matches somewhere. Easy money, quick in and out, nothing to the death.”

  I’d like to get back to work. Not only would I be helping out, but it would throw Axx and Brie together, maybe help them connect.

  “I’ll be back in a few with the food,” Brie announces, twirling her long hair around itself so it will stay out of her way.

  As soon as the door closes behind her, the false smile vanishes from my face. “Cut the drack, Axx. Tell me what’s going on?”

  “You cut the drack, Braxx. Haven’t you figured out yet that you can’t lie to your twin?”

  I sigh heavily. He’s caught me, no use keeping up the charade. “I didn’t know what to say. I just wanted to give you time for it to sink in a little at a time.” I sit heavily on the chair at his bedside.

  “Kind of puts a damper on the happily-ever-after-bondmates-with-your-angel thing, doesn’t it?” he says.

  “Our angel, gem. And why does this have to change things with her?”

  He closes his eyes and shakes his head. I don’t recall him ever looking so disgusted at me.

  “She’s a good female, that’s why. She deserves a good life. She doesn’t deserve to have to take care of an invalid all of her days, even if she gets one out of two healthy bondmates. And, let’s be honest, she doesn’t love me, Braxx. She doesn’t even like me. This isn’t a good match.”

  “That’s not true. She said she likes you.”

  “When?” His blue eyes pierce mine. By his compressed lips and cocked eyebrow, I’m certain he knows the answer before I even say it. “After you got hurt,” my voice is low. I sound ridiculous even to my own ears.

  “Riiiight. She had a complete change of heart about an hour after I was almost pronounced dead. Quite believable, Braxx. I can feel the love emanating from her all the way down the hallway.”

  “She’s taken care of you since you were injured, bathing you, massaging you, talking to you. Just like she did for me,” I try to convince him.

  “Sure. Because she’s not a monster. Seriously? Is that geneslave still on board? I overheard he got hit with shrapnel, too. She’s probably the one who’s been feeding him. Because she’s a nice person, Braxx. That doesn’t mean she cares for him—or me.”

  “But she does.”

  “She cares for you, B. Notice the way she looks at you. Just for tonight. Look at that and then see if she looks at me the same way.”

  “She did, Axx. On Fairea, after that kiss, she was definitely looking at you like that.”

  “That’s lust. We’ve always had...a connection. But that’s over.” He motions toward his cock under the covers. “I think the shrapnel killed any chance of that happening again.”

  The door rumbles against its jam, sounds like Brie’s kicking it. I hurry to open it and help her in; her arms laden with enough food for six gladiators.

  “Tonight’s menu?” I ask lightly as I settle the tray on top of a dresser and begin to hand out the plates.

  “It looks good and smells supremely edible,” Brie announces. “Maddie calls it albast mignon and sliced nink in coquelle sauce.”

  I put a plate on Axx’s lap, and Brie asks him, “Need some help?”

  “It’s my legs that don’t work. My hands are fine. I believe I have the ability to adequately transport food to mouth,” he snaps.

  “Okay,” her voice is small, the sound almost swallowed in her throat. “Sorry.”

  “Axx is in a shitty mood,” I glare at him. “He should apologize.”

  “Absolutely,” he agrees. “Not my best day, Brianna. My apologies.”

  Brianna

  Well, that took my appetite away. My stomach is eating itself. Shit. Over the last few days, I’ve felt so close to Axx. First, there was that blistering kiss at the fair. Then I thought he was going to die. After that, I was caring for his beautiful body. There’s nothing like taking care of someone on the verge of death to make you feel connected.

  And now he has to wake up and be an asshole. I like him, I don’t. I want him, I hate him. My emotions just aren’t stable.

  “I sat down in the dining hall to talk and had a bite with some friends,” I lie. “I must have eaten more than I thought. I’m not hungry.” I put my full plate on the dresser. “You guys are settled here. I think it’s time for me to sleep in my own room.”

  They both try to convince me to stay, but I’m out the door and down the hall without even hearing their words.

  Axxios

  Braxx was so pissed at me he could barely stand to be in the same room with me while he shoveled food into his mouth. We were both relieved when Tyree called and asked for help on the bridge. I’m glad to be alone. I have a lot of thinking to do.

  Thinking used to be easy, but now that I’ve found my bondmate, my emotions are swamping me. Yes, I admit to myself, she’s my bondmate. It’s ridiculous to deny it. I have all these warm and tender dracking feelings for her. I want to protect her, I want to sleep in the same room with her even if rutting isn’t involved. My heart hurts when she’s in pain.

  And there’s Braxx to think about. He’s totally smitten, that’s obvious. And I was right about the way she looks at him. She adores him. They laugh and have fun together. And then there’s me. Wouldn’t all three of us be better if I wasn’t around?

  My gem could get his mate. The female could get her male. They could all cry over my dead body and move on with their lives.

  Part of me protests. Just because I can’t walk doesn’t mean I can’t be productive. It’s pretty easy to pilot a ship from a chair. I’m not certain I’m ready to be done with this second chance at life I’ve been given. But it’s clear they’d both be happier without me—except Braxx’s cock won’t work without me around.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Brianna

  I ran into Grace on my way back to my room. She’s such a nice person, always checking in with everyone, wanting us all to be happy. She invites me to her cabin to talk. That’s the last thing I want to do, so I ask her to play String Thing, her instrument, for me.

  She plays beautifully, and there’s something about her music that’s so soothing. I could listen to her for hours. I’m surprised when her mate, Tyree, barges through the door. And by the look of things, he’s pretty surprised to see me here as well.

  “Who’s driving this ship?” Grace asks, her fingers pausing over the strings in the middle of a song.

  “Piloting, amara,” he scolds amiably. “Braxxus is feeling well enough to help out. I didn’t have to show him how to do anything. He says he learned on a ship of this class years ago.” He spears her with a heated gaze. He’s been piloting the ship alone for days. I imagine he practically ran here from the bridge, hoping to have some alone time with his mate, and here I am sucking the oxygen out of the room.

  “I was just leaving,” I say as I stand to go. A relieved expression flashes across Grace’s pretty face.

  I’m out of their room within seconds and speed-walking down the hallway before I hear any loud moans escaping from under their door. I know I should proceed straight to my room and enjoy some alone time. I haven’t had a moment to myself since Fairea. But I don’t perform a course correction when my feet head straight for the bridge. Br
axxus will be there—alone.

  His face lights up when he sees me slip through the doorway, then his eyes narrow in suspicion. “Angel. Everything all right?”

  “Well, if you don’t want company…”

  “Of course I do. I want your company.” He pats his lap. “Come sit with me.”

  “That won’t be comfortable for you, I’ll sit over—”

  “My lap, Angel. Why wouldn’t I be comfortable with you on my lap? You’re warm and cuddly and maybe I could sneak a couple of kisses.”

  Braxx is changing, he wouldn’t have been so forward a few days ago. I think I like it. I override my concerns about squishing him and slide gently onto his lap.